chapter 14- under the tree

(Credits: @Akiri_quitong)

The Weinlesefest has come to an end. It was the last day of the festival, and honestly, I had a little too many social interactions in one week. I was planning to attend the final party in the evening, I decided to skip the part where Venti plays a song and secretly blesses everyone.

I needed to recharge.

I went to Windrise and climbed the big tree. The breeze was gentle, playing with the leaves of the tree. I was just chilling there, enjoying the nice weather and the sound of birds.

Mondstadt was so peaceful compared to other nations. In Sumeru, the rainforest is nice, but you constantly have to worry about poisonous creatures climbing at you.

So I was just there, relaxing a bit. I didn't even bring a book with me. Just me, and my thoughts.

I looked around scanning the area, taking in the beautiful scenery.

Then, I saw a figure approaching the tree, dressed in dark clothes, with flaming red hair.

Are you kidding me? That's just ridiculous. This is why I didn't choose to rest near Dawn winery.

I looked up at the sky.

Whoever is playing tricks on me, please, explain what I did wrong to deserve this.

I looked down at Diluc, he didn't notice me naturally. I saw him leaving a bottle of wine near the tree.

Oh, right. Crepus used to pay respects to Vennessa on every special occasion. And he dragged us with him.

I sighed. I could hide there until he leaves, but, I can't run away forever. And it would be rude not thanking him the birthday present he sent me.

Grow up, Tessa. You can do it. I tried to motivate myself.

I started climbing down the tree, then I hang off the lowest branch, right above him.

"Hello, Diluc" I greeted him as I jumped off. He flinched.

"Tessa, you scared me" he cleared his throat trying to put himself together. It was amusing.

"I just saw you and wanted to thank you for the birthday present. I really like it" I said and sat down on the ground, enjoying the sun warming up the skin of my face.

I tried to act all cool, but honestly, all I could think about is that the last time I faced him was when I confessed to him. And that was embarrassing. And also, his presence so close to me... I needed a lot of self control to keep it cool. My heart was aching for him. I could barely look at his handsome face, even his voice stirred me up completely.

"Y-you're welcome" he stuttered. "And what are you doing here instead of attending the festival?" he asked, sitting down next to me.

Oh great, now we are going to talk? Calm down, Tessa, calm down. Imagine it's someone else.

"I could ask the same" I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes. "You know, I was there the whole time, but I haven't seen you there. Or I just didn't notice you?" I only asked the last question to try to hide it that I was actually looking for him.

"These types of social gatherings are really not for me" he shrugged. "I know I should attend them, but I believe that my... financial contribution is enough"

"But you organize your own ball at the winery" I pointed out.

He had a small smile on his lips as he quickly glanced at me. "You know, sometimes I do have to appear before public. And when I do, I want to do that according my rules"

"God, Diluc, you're so depressing sometimes" I teased him. But I understood him more than he was aware of it.

"You haven't answered my question" he stated.

"What question?"

"Why are you hiding in Windrise?"

I smirked. "Why do you think I am hiding?"

"I don't know, you're always hiding, only the reason differs" he shrugged.

Touché.

"I just needed some alone time. You know, I actually have friends to attend the festival with, but it's been getting noisy in my head"

"You didn't change too much, I guess" he smiled lightly.

"Depends on what aspect you are examining" I shrugged.

He just looked down, a little smile still playing on his lips. We were quiet for a while, but it wasn't awkward at all. I could get use to just be with him like this.

"You know, Tessa, about last time..." he started. He ruined the moment. My face started to turn red. I should've known he would bring it up.

"Let's just forget about it" I interrupted him. I really didn't want to talk about it. "I...I'm fine with it"

He looked down at our hands next to each other, his gloved fingers reaching towards my hand, softly grabbing it. He caressed my hand with his thumb, my heart started racing dangerously fast in my chest.

"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea" he admitted lowly. "I... when I was a kid, and then a teen... I always liked you a little too much" little redness appeared on his cheeks. My ears started buzzing.

Huh?!

"Y-you don't have to lie t-to comfort me" I stuttered, my face still red. His hand on mine didn't let me calm down either. "As I said I-I'm o-okay if you d-don't return my feelings"

"But it's not a lie" he looked me in the eyes. "I... I adored you, I think I loved you. I was just too scared to confess because I thought you liked Kaeya. You two always got along really well"

My head felt heavy. He... loved me? But still, it was past tense. Don't get your hopes up, Tessa.

"I just want to be honest with you, Tessa" he continued. "There's... no one in my life. Really. The conversation you heard with Jean... I just thanked her that she covered for me after something I've done"

"You don't owe me any explanation" I shook my head. "It's your life"

"But... I do. I want you to know my reasons. I... since my father died I am not the same person as before. I did terrible things and burned out every feeling from me. I... isolated myself from people and... right now... I don't think I am capable of making you happy. You chose the wrong person to love"

"You know you could just admit that you don't return my feelings" I snorted. I completely understood what he said, but it left a bitter taste in my mouth. It felt like he was just too much of a coward to admit he simply just doesn't love me. To protect me or anything like that.

He let out a deep sigh and suddenly lay his forehead on my shoulder.

"But that's not true either" he whispered. "I... I just... right now, I don't... I can't give you the full me... I... can't give you the love you deserve. I would only give you pain and sorrow and I just don't want to hurt you. Tessa, you are important to me"

"Bullshit" I answered, but I started petting his back slowly. He raised his head, and wrapped his left arm around my waist to pull me closer to him. I lay my head on his shoulder, just because I was stupid and already started to get my hopes up.

But it felt nice. He smelled good, the warmth of his body protected me from the chillier breeze.

"I am sorry, Tessa" he sighed. "I'm so sorry"

"Stop apologizing" I said. "I get it.. but, I don't know why you think you would only cause me pain. I am here for you. I could help you to face the bad things"

"I know" his voice was barely louder than a whisper. "I... don't know what to ask from you. I want you to wait for me, but I'd rather see you happy sooner"

He caressed my back with his hand, it sent good type of shivers down my spine.

"But what I know for sure is that being with you like this feels really nice" he stated, waking up stupid butterflies in my stomach.

We were just staying like that for a while, not talking, just staring at the landscape.

I loved him. I loved him so much, it ached my heart. And being with him like this, just embracing each other surpassed all my dreams.

But behind the idyll there were the words he said. And I still couldn't process it entirely.

I need some time. I need space.

I started panicking. Even though there was that moment we sat in, under the tree, I still knew that's not all.

I need to clear my head. Somewhere far away.

"Diluc..." I started.

"Yes?"

"I... I think I will leave Mondstadt for a while. I think I'm taking Klee with me this time"

"I... understand" I thought he would question it, but no. He understood my reason.

I broke out from our little embrace and stood up.

"I think I should go back to the festival now" I gave him a closed-eye smile. "Will you join?"

"I don't think so" he smiled back. "But... have fun"

"I will" I assured him and turned my back to go towards Springvale.

I would have more fun if you were there with me.