chapter 3 - fire and ice

The memory of that night remained in my memories vividly through all these years.

I remember clearly when I heard the news about Crepus' death and the rumors of some kind of conflict between the two brothers.

I just left the library, it was sunset. I overheard two knights talking about the happenings. When they saw me, they immediately shut their mouths.

I immediately started running to the city gates. I had a really bad feeling about the whole thing. All I knew that I had to reach Dawn winery as soon as possible.

The first thing that I saw when I arrived was fire. And then a light blue light emerged. I entered the mansion. I saw crossing blades. Diluc's was burning alongside with his eyes, while Kaeya was surrounded by a pale blue aura, ice coming off his blade.

They used their visions while they tried to kill each other.

"STOP YOU FOOLS" I screamed as I fell on my knees. My heart broke in two looking at them.

They both stopped and looked at me. They stepped back, the glowing around them stopped.

Diluc was mumbling under his breath while he walked past me, leaving the mansion. Because of the adrenaline pumping in my ears, I couldn't hear every word he said. All I heard was two words.

Khaenri'ahn traitor.

Kaeya stared at me for a couple of seconds. Then he left the manor too.

The following morning my mother returned to Mondstadt and picked me up.

And now I stood there. If we don't count my meeting with Kaeya in the afternoon, it was the first time since that night I saw them.

They both changed so much.

I was wondering how I would feel when I see Diluc again.

When we were young, I always had a childish infatuation towards him. I always looked up to him. He was always smart, polite and strong. A perfect noble heir of a noble family. But he was always humble. I admired him.

The older we grew, my feelings changed. Even we were all friends, spending all of our time together, I was always a little more shy around him. Even if he was always kind and friendly to me.

I grew up since then. But I never forgot about him. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how many men and women I met, I could never erase him from my head. And I had to figure out now if those feelings were real, or my childish admiration was just fueled by trauma and the heartbreak of seeing them crossing blades.

To be honest... I was disappointed. I gave in too much thought and magnified the whole situation that I... was expecting fireworks and flying hearts everywhere.

For someone so smart to study at Sumeru, I can be so stupid sometimes.

I worried so much beforehand about the whole situation that when I stood there before them, I just felt... numb.

I walked to the bar like a zombie and said an awkward 'Hey!'.

They both turned to me.

"Oh, hello dear, Tessa." smiled Kaeya. "What do you fancy drinking? I recommend the dandelion wine. It's amazing."

"It's fine" I smiled as I turned to Diluc. "Hello, Diluc" I tried to sound confident but I just sounded so... fake.

He looked me in the eyes.

"It's nice to see you, Tessa" he said eventually and poured me a glass of wine. "How are you doing?"

Awkward small talk. Great. As if I wasn't feeling so uncomfortable already. I didn't know how to approach them.

"Tired, I guess. I spent the whole day with my sister" I smiled.

"I imagine" said Kaeya. "The little Spark Knight can be quite the handful."

"I heard you've been taking care of her a lot" I said and sipped from my drink. He was right. Dandelion wine is really good. "Thank you for that."

"Unfortunately it was an order from Master Jean" he answered. "But if you asked me to watch out for her, I wouldn't see it as a troublesome job."

He really put a complaint behind a very flirty tone. I didn't know if the wine or his words made me blush hard.

I started to get more comfortable after the wine started to make effects and small talk didn't feel so troublesome anymore. I finally had the courage to take a better look at Diluc and how much he changed.

He never wore too much color before, but now, his whole outfit was just black. I had to admit, it really looked great on him. He grew since I last saw him, his shoulders were a lot wider than before. He kept his long, crimson red hair, still wore it in a low ponytail. But his eyes changed a lot. I saw pain, rage and distance in his eyes. The ever cheerful boy, with full of life no longer existed. He was cold.

I poured my drink down my throat. It's like trying to get to know strangers. I hated that.

"Easy, easy sweetheart" laughed Kaeya. "The night is young"

"Sorry, I just had a very long day" I looked down my glass and asked Diluc to pour an another one. "Tell me about yourselves instead" I said.

"Oh yeah, you missed a lot" said Kaeya. "I've been waiting all these years for a single letter from you, but I never received one" he placed his hand on his chest and pulled a sad puppy face.

Is he... manipulating me? I generally didn't know how to answer to that.

"Leave her alone, Kaeya" said Diluc, saving me. He rolled his eyes at Kaeya. "After what happened, I wouldn't send letters to us either."

Great. And now we are at the sensitive topic. Just great.

I sighed. Time to stop this before it even starts.

"The past is the past. There's no need to talk about it." I sipped from my drink to gain courage. "I... I was too coward to write you two. I am sorry. But the truth is... I... I missed you. And I do hope we can still be... friends"

I couldn't look up, my face was probably dark red. And the two boys were quiet. Embarrassingly quiet.

Kaeya broke the silence with his laugh.

"Then convince Master Diluc to stop being a grumpy old grandpa" he said, still laughing.

"Things changed a lot, Tessa" said Diluc, with a bitter smile. "We can't erase the past."

"It is one of the rare occasions when I agree with Master Diluc" added Kaeya. "But, on the other hand... you are ruining the mood" Kaeya stared at Diluc with disapproval.

The air was tense. I don't know what the heck did I expect. I was stupid to come here in the first place.

I finished my drink and I stood up.

"Thank you for the night" I said. "I am really tired, so I'm going home now."

"Oh, Master Diluc, look what you've done. You chased her away" Kaeya shook his head.

I looked back at them.

"He didn't do anything. And didn't say anything that wasn't true"

I left the tavern with a heavy sigh.

That night was a complete disaster. And we didn't even talk about what happened to us in the years I was away, even if I was curious.

They just made me feel uncomfortable and it was clear to me that our past is a lost thing now. It was good while it lasted, but we can't go back to it. A big ass gap is separating us.

I walked home. I didn't even feel tipsy.

I entered the apartment, one of the lamps in the living room was lit.

Did I left it on?

My gaze wandered to the bedroom. Klee was sleeping in the bed, curled up as a tiny little ball.

I couldn't help but smile at the sight. She probably sneaked out to be with me.

Honestly, I didn't mind it. After this disastrous night, my sister was the best stress reliever.

I quickly had a shower, and lay down next to her. She felt my presence and held my hand.

At least she is still the same and I need to protect that.