mania

It hurts...

Break up's always hurts. Especially when you have been together with that person for years. Harry and Louis met in X-factors bathrooms. He never thought that he would find his soulmate there. Who would? They immediately clicked and definitely catched feelings fast. In the bootcamp Harry would snuggle up in Louis' bed after everyone else had fallen asleep. They would whisper and giggle about the stupidest things and then, in the morning they would be all tired. Louis can still remember the first time they kissed. They were in bed, facing each other and Louis was holding Harry's face. He always thought that he would be the one to make the first move but Harry suddenly pressed his lips onto Louis. He pulled away smiling, before getting back to making out.

They didn't tell anyone about their relationship for a while but the boys probably knew about it. They didn't also have sex for a long time since Harry didn't want to. Louis didn't mind.

He would always wait for Harry.

When one direction was made and they finally got out of X-factor, Louis' and Harry's relationship got deeper. They moved in together, Harry suggested it. When they finally started fucking, it was amazing and it never stopped.

They told the others about their relationship too and they were all supportive. Niall, casually, just asked who tops. Harry and Louis got more comfortable with each other on and off stage, that's until Cowell. He torn them apart. They had to hide their feelings to each other. They barely got to hug or talk to each other. Harry was even advised to not talk to Louis on stage. They tried to hint their fans on social media as well on stage and in interviews about them, they didn't realize. 'Love will tear us apart' shirt, 'I advice them not to whisper to each other until they're off stage,' 'Always in my heart @Harry_Styles . Sincerely yours, Louis,' and countless other tweets, instagram posts, talking and touching in interviews. And the tattoos. So many tattoos. No one noticed.

Later on Louis got a "girlfriend," Eleanor. She was nice so Louis didn't mind hanging out with her, but he missed Harry, a lot. But the older they got, the more love they had for each other. Even the fake girlfriend didn't stop that.

Harry did had other women though from time to time, cause Harry and Louis would break up. They did it a lot. Fight, break up, make up, get back together. But they never lost the love. The break up fights were mostly about things like Louis hanging out with Eleanor or flirting with other men, or Harry hanging out with women when they were on break. It was hard and tiring. But they made through it.

One direction went on break and Louis kind of wished that he could finally be out with Harry, but nope. It was even harder to be with him.

Louis got depressed. He started drinking a lot and abusing other drugs as well. Harry tried to help him but it's hopeless trying to help an addict.

Louis isn't quite sure how it happened but he cheated on Harry. I mean, he thought they were on a break since they had a fight again but apparently not. Also he was drunk so he barely even remembers it. And at first it wasn't that big of a deal, Harry didn't even know about it. But that bitch got pregnant. Of course, that one time that he fucks a female, she gets pregnant. The kid isn't a problem, he loves Freddie with all of his heart, he's like a gift from God. But when Harry found out.. Well,, it wasn't pretty.

That was the last time they broke up, for good apparently. Harry hasn't talked to Louis after that. Louis tries, he really tries. He sends merry Christmas, happy new year, happy birthday messages, but he barely gets an answer. Sometimes "Thx u too." but that's it. He tries also to meet up, asks when he's in the city, trying to get his attention. Louis doesn't blame him for not answering, but he keeps on trying. Today too.

"Hey, I saw that ur in city, wanna grab a cupof coffee? No pressure of course :)"

It's hopeless but he tries. Just as he's putting his phone away, it buzzes. His heart drops, but it's just Eleanor asking if Louis is making dinner. At some point of their fake-relationship, it turned into fucking and at some point into a real relationship. It's not a love story of the century but it's something. Louis answers her that he's already on it and leaves to kitchen.

The night goes eating, watching some stupid rom-com movie that Eleanor chose, and finally going to sleep. Louis, as usual, can't fall asleep. He lays awake staring at the ceiling.

He could go get a drink, or for a smoke, alcohol and nicotine makes him sleep better but he would have to get up. And for some reason it's pretty cold. Staying under covers sounds better. He turns his head to Eleanor, who's deep in the sleep. Nothing to do with his phone either, pretty much everyone is already asleep or atleast going to sleep. He gives up and tries to sleep. He changes his positions until finding a comfortable place. He closes his eyes and at the same time the ceiling lights up. It's his phone.

Hazza

"U up?"

Louis can't really breathe at this point but manages to open his phone to answer Harry.

"Yeah. You alright?"

Harry starts typing but stops. Louis waits with butterflies in his stomach. But the next thing that pops up to his screen is a fucking dick pic. It's Harry's of course, he recognizes it. But- But what the fuck? Louis isn't complaining, he actually got a bit hard just by looking at the picture.

"U know where I live, come over."

Louis have never left his house this fast. He picked up some shorts and t-shirt off the floor and tried quietly leave the bedroom. He puts on his converses on, laces not even knotted. Louis almost falls cause he's running so fast to his car. He isn't quite sure why, but he gets really turned on when Harry acts overly confident. Like he randomly sent "come over" text when he hasn't talked to Louis in years and just knows that Louis will come. The drive doesn't take longer than 15 minutes until he's at Harry's door. He first tries the knob but it isn't open. Then he knocks loudly, barely keeping it in his pants.

"You already here?" Harry asks as he opens the door, massaging his eye. He looks like he just woke up. He isn't wearing any clothes, just his underwear. It makes Louis turned on but he swallows the feeling and lifts his eyes up to Harry's face.

"No traffic." He just says. Harry looks pretty. He hasn't seen his face in a such a long time. This all feels like a dream, Louis finally talking to Harry. He then opens the door and let's Louis in.

"Well come 'ere." Harry says as Louis kicks off his shoes. Harry leads Louis into his bedroom and immediately takes of his boxers. Wow, no hurry really. Louis takes of his shorts and underwear off too and Harry helps him with his shirt. They are left really close, both staring at each other. Louis tries to go in for a kiss but Harry curves it smoothly. Fair enough. Harry gets on the bed on his back and waits Louis to do the same. But Louis is unable to move. Harry, naked infront of him, waiting him to fuck him. This can't be some kind of sick joke, can it? Louis pinches his skin to check is he dreaming. He isn't. He finally snaps out of it and gets on the bed. Harry hands him the lube.

"I'm not even hard yet." He murmurs but takes the bottle.

"Well hurry up." Harry complaints. Louis then proceeded to spread the lube over his dick, as well on Harry's. He jerked off them both at the same time. Harry definitely looks like he's enjoying himself. Louis gets a little bit distracted but Harry lifts his head up.

Right.

He lifts Harry's legs up a bit and gets closer. He puts lube on a little bit on Harry's arse too. He makes sure he's relaxed by stuffing his thumb into his ass. He definitely is. He stops bullying Harry and changes his thumb into his cock. Harry moans very loudly as Louis enters him.

"Shit.." Harry whispers. Louis just smiles at him. He gets on top of Harry better and slowly moves his hips back and front. Harry has his eyes closed, biting his bottom lip. But Louis can't close his eyes. He wants to enjoy what he sees. He wants to make sure he remembers this. He wants to make sure he sees everything.

Louis comes unexpectedly fast. He doesn't usually but it's Harry. Kind of embarrassing really, Harry didn't seem to mind. Louis gets himself out of Harry, who tries to get up. Louis panics and pushes him back to lay down. He doesn't want to leave yet. Harry just starts smiling.

"Well?" He asks. Louis doesn't bother to answer, he just gets downer, his head on Harry's waist. But he doesn't take his cock immediately on his mouth, he kisses around on Harry's body, his waist, inner thighs, his balls. Harry has closed his eyes again and Louis decides to make him enjoy himself even more.  He remembers that Harry loved rimming, so he lifted Harry's legs back up and plants a kiss on Harry's ass. Louis can feel the chills on Harry. He decides to continue, kissing, playing with his fingers around him and putting his tongue inside.

"Louis, ah-" Harry's about to say but he didn't get a chance. He takes a break trying not to moan. "Louis, I love what you're doing, but please. Please take my cock into your mouth before I go crazy." He finally got out of his mouth. He pants loudly. At this point Louis would normally just bully and tease him, but he tries to be as submissive as possible. Harry likes it, even though he's a bottom. Weird.

But Louis does as said and takes the whole dick into his mouth. Harry gasps loudly and grabs roughly Louis' hair. It hurts but he doesn't care. Louis just continues to move his head. He forgot that Harry's a  head pusher. Fucking annoying. Louis can do the work by himself, he doesn't need Harry trying to choke him here too. Louis pressed hardly on Harry's thigh with his left hand and with right hand helps to jerk him off. Louis feels as Harry's breaths gets faster and louder, that he's about to come. Louis fucking hates the taste of cum, but he decides to be nice and swallows it. Harry, still panting loudly, moves his hand from Louis' hair under his chin and looks at him smirking.

"Let me finish you off." Harry says. Louis gets kind of confused. Harry is like Godly good at giving head but for some reason he hates it. "C'mon, let's switch sides." He says and gets up. Louis just goes to lay were Harry was.

"Are you sure?" Louis asks but Harry doesn't say anything. He confidently takes Louis cock into his mouth. The next,,, he isn't even sure how long it took,, but the next moment was heavenly. He barely could catch his breath and he was grabbing the sheets under him so hard that his palms hurt. It was a big load but Harry proudly swallowed all of it. Harry falls besides Louis on his back. They stare at the ceiling for a while until their breaths are back to normal.

"Why did you text me?" Louis asks. Harry turns his head to Louis but before he can say anything, Louis continues. "Not that I'm complaining, just wondering."

"You texted me first."

"Well yeah, but usually you don't answer, why did you now?"

"I wanted to fuck." Louis rolls his eyes and turns his eyes to the ceiling. "I wanted to fuck you." Harry adds. Louis tries to hide his smile but fails completely. "Why did you come?" Harry asks.

"Haz, you know why." Louis just says and turns his head back to Harry, who closes his eyes and smirks. Louis knows it's his real smile since his dimples are showing strongly. Suddenly he gets up and looks for something from the floor. Harry puts,, Louis' boxers on?

"Those are mine!"

"I know. Do you remember? We used to switch like this all the time." Of course Louis remembers. They used to switch all clothes, from shoes to hats. Harry loved it. Then Harry took his own boxers and Louis' clothes and threw them at Louis one at a time.

"Come, I'll walk you out." Harry says after Louis finishes dressing up. He's kind of disappointed, he wanted to spend the night. But on the other hand he didn't really expect that.

"You're together with Eleanor. Like not just out in public." Harry guesses as they're outside.

"Yeah." Louis says after silence.

"Why? You don't even love her."

"You know nothing about my relationships." Louis snaps.

"You wouldn't be here if you loved her." Harry has a point. "You haven't really changed at all."

"What do you mean?" Louis questions.

"Cheating. You're still cheating."

"Harry that's not fair! We have been through this, I didn't-" He stops himself. It's whatever. No matter what he won't get Harry back. They stand in the silence for a while, Louis staring down at the ground as Harry's eyes are on Louis. "So was this like a one time booty call?" He asks before leaving.

"Tomorrow same time?" Harry winks and leaves back inside. Louis sighs smiling. The ride home feels like forever. Louis is tired and almost falls asleep driving. He drags himself in the house and tries to not make a sound. He leaves his keys on the counter and slowly pulls his shoes off. Then he sneaks into the bedroom where Eleanor is still peacefully sleeping. He takes off his shorts and t-shirt and tries to get in bed without making a noise. The bed though creeks and El awakens.

"Where you going?" She asks groggy.

"Nowhere. Coming from the loo. Go back to sleep." He whispers back. El puts her head back to the pillow and Louis kisses her forehead.

"Why do you smell like strawberries?"

The fucking lube! Why would Harry buy fucking strawberry flavored lube? The guy is a total idiot.

"What? You're making no sense. Just sleep." He says awkwardly and snuggles up next to her. Before falling asleep Louis thinks about the dick pic on his phone. He doesn't want to delete it, he really doesn't, but he can't really risk Eleanor seeing it. He decides to keep it and just be careful when El can see what he's doing with his phone.

*

Louis wants to text Harry so bad. He keeps writing messages and then deleting them before sending. He can't figure out the right words, nothing sounds good.

"Wanna go get lunch?"

"Got any plans for the evening?"

"Last night was fun, can't wait to see u again."

"We still on for tonight?"

Everything sounds so fucking dumb. Harry makes it all sound so good, without even trying really. Louis decides to save it for later and opens his instagram. Liam has posted a new picture, some sponsor thing. Louis likes it and scrolls away. Next one is some article about Harry Styles buying a new jet.

A jet?

Harry what the fuck? Louis reads about it, apparently he bought it in the states, so he hasn't travelled anywhere. Atleast he's at home. It makes Louis a little bit easier, he's still anxious thinking Harry's going to cancel on him tonight. Louis gets an idea.

Hazza

"You bought a jet? :D"

He sends the text. It doesn't sound that dumb. It's all casual, not bringing up something awkward, or last night. No pressure. Louis doesn't expect him to answer but he tries. This is Louis' last free day before heading back to the studio and stupid interviews and public. He mostly spends the day with Eleanor, taking the dogs out, making dinner, playing her his new music. At some point of the day Harry had texted Louis. He didn't realize it since his phone was on mute, but he finally opened it in the evening.

"Lol, got bored. I'll give u ride someday."

'Got bored?' Is he okay? This doesn't sound like Harry. Louis decides to ignore it.

Eleanor is the type of person who goes to sleep early, and likes to spend the morning doing useful stuff. At some point Louis got used to it, but he would prefer staying up late, going to clubs on the weekends. Later on when Louis gets back to bed, Eleanor is reading a book on the bed.

"You not tired?" Louis asks since usually at this point El is deadbeat tired.

"Nope." She smiles. "It's your last free day, thought that we could stay up a little." She puts away the book.

Shit,, right. Sometimes Louis forgets that he has to have sex with Eleanor. He isn't all crazy about hetero-sex but it's fine.

Luckily Eleanor doesn't have a high sex drive. Louis decides to just get it over with and takes off his shirt and gets under the covers. Having sex with Eleanor is always the same. It's like from some rom-com movie. Louis is on top kissing Eleanor and her neck. Eleanor has her hands on Louis' hair and back. It's pretty quiet, she doesn't talk or moan, just breaths heavily. Louis does all the work. Eleanor doesn't want him to go down on her, or to go down on him. She said it's nasty. Like, really? Afterwards Eleanor goes to take a shower and Louis just gets straight to sleep.

Tonight was the same as always expect Louis doesn't fall asleep though. He waits until Eleanor gets back to bed, so he can sneak out. It sounds stupid that he has to sneak out of his own house. Well, now that he thinks about it, he doesn't have to.

"Hey El, I'm going to meet up with some friends in downtown." He says as he gets to the bathroom door.

"Alright. Don't be up too late." She gives him a smile, but looking straight ahead, not to Louis. He goes in to give her a kiss and sees Eleanor's red eyes. Maybe she just got shampoo in her eye, but it looks like she has been crying. Eleanor looks fine otherwise so Louis decides to leave it, he just gets his keys and leaves the house.

It's almost an hour later than it was yesterday when Louis drove over to Harry's house. The streets are pretty quiet and there's a full moon in the sky. Louis parks his car on the street and jogs to his door. The lights are on, that's a good sign. He knocks on the door, and steps back. He hears Harry's laugh from the inside before he answers the door.

"Oh! Louis." Harry says. "Wh- What are you doing here?" Louis can't get a word out. Is he serious?

"Harreeehh!" Someone yells from the inside. "Who's at the door?"

"It's just- It's um, just a friend, I'll be there in a second honey." Harry yells back and looks down. He looks a bit embarrassed. And,, he smells like strawberries.

"You told me to come yesterday." Louis finally says.

"Did I told you that or did I joke around..?" Harry questions Louis as he lifts his head. Louis is so embarrassed. He can feel his face getting red, his stomach starts hurting. Did he just imagine this? He decides to stay strong.

"Yeah, you told me. You don't remember?"

"I was somewhat a little drunk yesterday." Harry admits.

"Jesus christ. Whatever." Louis gives up and turns around to get back to his car. Harry grabs his shoulder to stop him and turns him around.

"Hey, sorry. I forgot. We'll meet some other day?" Louis can't help but roll his eyes and gets back to walking. The endless texts that Louis sends without getting a respond are fine. But this was too humiliating.

Louis drives around a little before getting home. Eleanor is peacefully sleeping on the left side of the bed again when Louis gets back. He gets to bed too and stares at the ceiling again. Harry probably did this on purpose. Lead him on just to humiliate him. He just wanted to get a fuck out of him. To prove that he has Louis still wrapped around his finger.

The ceiling lights up again.

Hazza

"When's the next time El's gone for the night?"

Seriously? He thinks Louis is going to fall for that. He lefts the message on read, but the phone blings again.

"I don't wanna catch you two having hetero sex, disgusting."

When did Harry turn this annoying? Louis ignores him again. Harry has changed. A lot. Maybe that's just adulthood but his personality is a lot different, on social media too. Liam's way more close with Harry, maybe he'll ask him.

"If you don't answer, I'm coming there rn to fuck the shit out of u and I don't care if El's there."

Now this is.. Good in a way? How fast Harry changes his opinion about Louis? One week ago he wouldn't have cared if Louis died and now he wants to 'fuck the shit out of him.'

"She's going home for the weekend but I have work too."

"Gr8. I'll come friday 9pm, slephv well x"

Looks like Harry's drunk. Louis doesn't bother to answer, just leaves his phone on the night stand and tries to get some sleep.

In the morning Louis calls Liam on the way to work.

"Shit man, did u see the news?? I mean of course you did, but I didn't know you were seeing Harry again." Liam blurts out immediately after answering.

"What the hell are you talking about?" How did he know Louis was seeing Harry?

"Some paparazzi spotted your car in front of Harry's place." Louis' heart drops. He actually has to stop the car on the side of the road. "It wouldn't have probably been such a big deal, but,, you know. Larries, they don't miss anything." Liam explains. Louis is still in shock. He's probably getting a yelling at work. One time when still in band, same type of thing happened. Louis was spotted going to Harry's car after midnight from a bar. Apparently it was a big deal to the management. They both got a yelling and was told to not see each other in public. Like that stopped them? They just were more careful.

"Anyways. I was just wondering why didn't you tell me you were back with Harry. Thought you two were done for good." Liam snaps Louis out of his thoughts.

"I-I um. We aren't really a thing with him. We fucked once. That's it."

"...Why.?"

"Shit, I don't know mate!" Louis pauses. Well, he isn't expecting Harry to come over on Friday anymore. "It just kind of happened. He texted me back out of nowhere, and now he wants to come over on Friday. He's acting all weird, that's the reason why I called you. Have you noticed anything?"

"Nothing big really. He feels more alive really, talks and does a lot more."

"Well, that's good right?"

"Yeah, for sure. Oh, now that you mentioned it, he has missed some interviews and meetings. He doesn't answer to no one and doesn't say any excuse."

"I bet I know what's that about. He had a guy over yesterday, he called him honey. Probably his new guy or something." 

Louis and Liam catch up for a bit before Louis has to get to work. For his surprise, no one brings up his car in front of Harry's place in the whole day. Louis was very careful talking that day, making sure he didn't say anything that would bring attention to that. It's a long, very long day. First day after 'vacations' are always the hardest. Louis spends the whole day in studio and gets back home aftermidnight. He straight passes out on the couch without even taking his shoes off.

**

"Hey sleepyhead. Why are you here?" Eleanor wakes Louis up in the morning. He groans loudly and puts a pillow over his head. "I made pancakes."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Louis gets up. He unties his shoes and throws them in the hallway. Then he proceeded to get in the kitchen with El to eat. He's too lazy to go to the dining room so he just stays in the kitchen over the island. El as usual takes a picture of her food before she starts eating. Louis just focuses on his plate since he's pretty hungry. There's always some super healthy food at the studio which 95% of the time includes avocados. Why do they have to put it on every single meal? Anyways that's why he won't eat at work.

"They any good?" El asks as she gets to eating too. Louis nods and smiles. She's a really good cook. "Do you have any plans for the weekend? I really wished you could come to meet my family again, they like you a lot."

"I know, I miss them too." Louis says after swallowing. "I really have to work, honey. But I'm gonna catch up with couple of friends too, so I'm not going to overwork myself." Eleanor seems convinced. Louis' phone buzzes. He's pretty sure it's Harry so he doesn't want to check it but he knows that El is going to ask about it if he doesn't. He takes a risk.

eleanorcalder mentioned you on their story!

"What did you post?" Louis asks and lifts his head.

"Well go check!" She smiles. Louis opens the notification and a pic of him eating a pancake pops up. Usually this type of thing is fine, more than fine. But he's just,, well Harry. He seems moody or overreactive right now and he's afraid that he's going to cancel.

"Who's the guy in the pic? Can I get his number, a real cutie pie." Louis jokes around and puts his phone on mute before continuing eating.

Eleanor leaves after midday at the same time as Louis goes to work. It's one of those days when nothing seems to work. Louis is overall stressed about writing this album but today specific it could be about Harry. He told that he has to leave before eight, at the latest.

But Louis is smart today. He has texted couple of his mates asking if they're free tonight. So, if Harry doesn't show up, he's not going to sit around the house all night.

Louis didn't get out of work until like half past eight, so he had to speed to home to shower and change clothes. He's done around 9.15 pm

No sign of Harry. Louis almost texts him but decides to keep his dignity.

9.23 pm

Louis swears if Harry's not here by 9.45 he's leaving the house.

9.38 pm

Louis doesn't give up hope. He goes to his liquor cabinet to get an encouraging drink to calm him down.

9.47 pm.

That's it. No but's. Louis goes to get his wallet from the bedroom and fixes his hair. Then he texts 'the doncasters mates' groupchat to ask where everyone are. Back to the hallway to get his shoes. It feels kind of good to leave Harry hanging. Plus he hasn't really seen his mates for a while, great time to catch up.

Someone pulls into his driveway. No fucking way. He's still leaving. He takes his keys and gets out of the house.

"Heyy Looee." Harry shouts. Louis ignores him. "Where you going? We were supposed to hangout or whatever today." He says. God, fucking Harry. He sounds drunk. Again.

"Yeah and you're late so I'm going out."

"C'mon Looee, you know I'm not great with the clock, but you know, I'm very good with the c-"

"Are you drunk?" Louis stops him.

"I had a couple before coming here. Sorry I should have waited for you."

"Did you drive drunk?!" Louis almost yells.

"Well, I'm not that drunk."

"Fucking hell, Harry! You're not driving home, I'm calling you a taxi." Louis says and takes out his phone.

"If you don't stay with me here I'm driving home." Harry threatens. Louis doesn't even wanna start arguing that. He just sighs and gets inside, Harry behind him.

"You want something to drink?" Louis asks as he's taking off his shoes and walking over to kitchen.

"Yeah, beer please."

Louis turns around dramatic.

"You don't even drink beer?"

"I know. But I bet you don't have anything else here."

"You're always so judgmental. I do have something here but most of them are bought by Eleanor." He says and opens a cabinet. Strawberry and coffee liquor, strawberry champagne, strawberry flavored vodka, straight vodka, normal champagne. Embarrassing.

"Yeah,, beer sounds good." Harry says.

"Bet." Louis walk over to the fridge and takes out a six pack of white claw. He grabs the straight vodka bottle too on the way to the living room where Harry has already made himself very comfortable.

"This house doesn't look like you."

"Cause it's not just my house." Louis sits down opposite of Harry on the couch and opens a beer.

"But has she like done all the work here? Have you like bought anything here? It looks very hetero."

"Really? How can a house look straight?"

"There's literally a 'live, love, laugh' poster on the wall." Harry points to the other side of the room.

"Right, well El has done most of the house." He laughs a little.

"We should play truth or drink!" Harry announces.

"That game is for middle schoolers, Harry." Louis says but deep inside he wants to play it too. He won't admit it.

"Pussy." Harry dares.

"Fine whatever. You start."

"Why did you start dating Eleanor?"

"Jesus christ, we're going straight to the point, are we?" Louis tries to avoid the question. Harry doesn't give in, he just stares at Louis, eyes wide open. "Um, I don't know. We just hanged out a lot, both liked each other."

"But you don't love her?"

"You already asked your question, it's my turn now." Louis snaps. He hates when Harry asks about Eleanor. "Did you ever think about getting back together with me?" Louis strikes back with difficult questions.

"Sure." Harry shrugs.

"And..?"

"You already asked your question, it's my turn now." Harry mocks him. Louis rolls his eyes and finishes his beer. "Would you fuck me right now?" Harry smirks.

"You're one horny bitch." Louis says and takes the vodka bottle. Harry watches him smiling as he takes a sip. "Do you regret anything?" Louis is being overly confident.

"Yeah sure, nothing relevant. Expect leaving you at some point, I guess." Louis' stomach drops. "But I probably would had broken up with you at some point anyhow, so..."

"Oh. Fair enough." He shrugs.

"If I asked you to fuck me in 5 minutes, would you?" Harry asks. Is he serious?

"You just asked that question!"

"But I didn't use those exact words."

"You're not getting laid tonight, not from me anyway." Louis ensures.

At some point of the night Harry and Louis did ended up fucking. They're both laying in his bed, naked. Louis is just about to fall asleep when Harry opens his mouth.

"Round five?"

"How the fuck are you not tired?" Louis opens his eyes and aggressively turns his head to Harry.

"I don't know." He answers. Then he proceeded to get closer to Louis. "Is that a no?" He asks and runs his hand through Louis' body.

"I don't think I can anymore."

"I can top you."

"Please. You've never done that and I don't want anyone's dick in my ass."

"But I have." Harry says confidentially. Louis lifts his head up.

"What? But you didn't want to do it with me?"

"I was young. I don't still like it better than bottoming but it's alright."

"Okay but can we just continue in the morning, I'm really tired." Louis puts his head back on the pillow.

"Sure, sure. No pressure." Harry says but still plays with his hand on Louis' body.

"You know what we should do?" Harry says after a silence making Louis to snap out of his dream. He just groans as an answer. "Give our little larries a heart attack." Then he gets his phone from the night stand and opens it. Louis finally opens his eyes and stares at Harry's phone. He goes to instagram and searches for Louis' profile.

"What the fuck Harry?" He asks after Harry started following him. "Aren't you going to get management after you?"

"What are they going to do? It's my instagram." Then he scrolls through Louis' profile liking some of the posts.

"Jesus, I'm too tired for this."

"You go to sleep. Sorry, I won't bother you anymore." Harry apologies and gives Louis a kiss on his forehead. Louis falls asleep immediately after that.

**

"Shit, motherfucker!" Harry yells. Louis has a fucking heart attack and sits up on the bed.

"What?!?"

"Sorry, I dropped some of your books." He says and picks them up. Louis looks around and sees that his bookshelf is almost completely empty and all of the books are around the room.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"You don't keep your books in any order. I'm reorganizing them. Alphabetical order by last name. That's how it should be." Harry starts putting books into the shelf. Louis stares at him confused.

"Have you slept? What time is it even?"

"Almost 10 am." He says. "I tried to sleep at one point but I couldn't. You looked very peaceful though." Louis groans and puts his head back into his pillow. He can't fall asleep properly after that, but still lays in bed for a while. Harry seems weird, really weird. But somehow it seems good, he does feel more alive like Liam said. But he has definitely changed a lot too. Later when the bookshelf was done, Harry made breakfast for Louis and brought it for him to the bed.

"You up for that fifth round?" Harry asks as Louis is biting his toast.

"You sure have a high sex drive nowadays." He murmurs.

"C'mon now." Harry smirks. He picks up the plate infront of Louis and moves it to the night stand. Then he gets under the blanket between Louis' legs and pulls his underwear off.

"Harry I have to-"

"Shhhh." Harry stops him. He plants kisses on Louis' cock and the surroundings to get him hard. Louis tries to fight him but gives in. He can practically feel how Harry smirks under the covers before taking the dick into his mouth. After all these years, it's still so amazing. Louis can't get tired of it. Well, his cock can. They once tried how many times Harry can give him a blowjob until he can't cum anymore.

(12)

It was horrible, next day in their concert his dick hurt so much that he had to take aspirin before it and could barely walk.

"Haz, I really need to get ready for work." He finally gets out of his mouth. Harry grabs his thigh pretty hard making him weirdly moan and yell at the same time.

"Skip work." Harry says and gets back to digging Louis' cock up to his throat. Louis is about to come when Harry pulls the blanket out of their way and jerks him off with his hand. Louis' cum goes all over his body and he feel kind of disgusted until Harry starts licking them off. Shit. He goes through all of them making sure there is nothing left, starting with his downer stomach. Louis can't help but start breathing heavily. Harry looks so gorgeous. He goes upwards and leaves hickeys on his stomach and waist. And now Louis is hard again. Great!

"I have to be at work by three. I took the morning off just because of you, so I really have to get there." Louis begs as he strokes Harry's head. He stops kissing Louis' stomach and looks up to him.

"Just for me?" He asks.

"Yes. And well, for hungover."

"Then you can take the afternoon off for me too." He says and gets back to licking Louis' body, moving up to his chest.

"I wish I could but I just had a vacation." Harry ignores him and starts kissing Louis' neck. "If there's even a one hickey, I swear I'm going to beat the shit out of you."

"Mmhh, kinky." Louis rolls his eyes and looks for a clock.

"Shit Harry, I have to leave!" He says and pushes Harry out of his way. Harry just groans and stays in bed. Louis runs up to bathroom and checks like three times that it's locked before getting in the shower. If it's not locked, Harry's in there in the matter of seconds. He fastly washes himself, probably not getting even properly clean. The he gets out the shower with a towel on his waist and—

He's about to kill Harry.

"YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD!!!!" He yells making sure Harry hears. Then Louis dries himself and tries to hide the hickeys on his neck with Eleanors make up. Hopeless. Then he runs up to his bedroom, where Harry is laying down chilling and smirking. Louis takes off the towel and throws it at Harry before looking through his closet. He hears Harry getting up from the bed and walking over.

"Harry. Please." He says but Harry doesn't listen. He wraps his hands around Louis' waist and pulls him against his.

"Five minutes." Harry whispers to Louis' ear sending shivers down his spine. He then bites gently on his neck. Shit what is all this? Couple days ago he didn't even answer his texts, probably wouldn't had cared if he died.

"No. I'll talk to you when I get back from work, if you're still here." He says firmly and gets himself out of Harry's hand.

"What do you mean 'if'? I thought we had the whole weekend?"

"We do, I just.. You're kind of unpredictable nowadays." He says as he puts his underwear and jeans on. "Look I would appreciate if you'd be here when I get back or atleast if you'd talk to me on the phone later." He pulls his shirt on.

"Sure. I promise."

**

"Louis what the fuck is going on?" Craig yells when Louis walk into the room.

"Calm down jerk."

"Are you with Harry again? Everything was going so well!"

"We're not together. Just hanged out." He says and sits down.

"Just hanged out, so fucked?" Louis raises his eyebrow and looks confused. "Hickeys." He says simply.

"Eleanor." Louis answers simply back.

"Uh huh. So that's why he started following you on instagram?"

"He did?" Louis thought acting glueless would help.

"YES! Last night. Were you with him?"

"No?? Can we move on now."

"No. We can't control what you do in your freetime anymore, but if you see him it has to be the way no one sees. You have no idea how big mess this has become. First the car outside his house, now this?"

"Riiiightt. Give it a rest."

"You're not taking this seriously."

"I am. I just have been having this same conversation with y'all since I was fucking eighteen. I'm sick and tired of it."

"We wouldn't be talking 'bout this if you were more careful."

"I am fucking careful! I shouldn't have to careful, I was in love. I should've been fucking screaming it out loud to everyone I see. I should've been able to walk outside with him hand in hand, kiss him, take him to my concerts, post him." Louis yells out of frustration. He takes a deep breath and continues. "Don't forget that you took his freedom too. He was sixteen. Fucking sixteen and couldn't be himself. Had to pretend everyday, allday. Y'all set him up with a thirty year old woman. That's sick." Craig doesn't answer. He looks so mad, like he could beat the shit out of Louis.

"Don't you forget that you made a decision."

"When I was like 22? 23? Didn't know that would affect my whole life."

"Louis we're not arguing about this. You signed a contract, no one forced you."

"That doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to love."

**

Louis gets home after midnight, deadbeat tired. Eyes red, partly from smoking spliff, partly from crying on the way home. Harry is sitting in the kitchen table.

"Well it's about time! I thought that they killed you there." Harry greets him. They did kill him. Louis drags himself to sit infront of Harry.

"What is this, us?" Louis asks and Harry sees that he's serious.

"I don't know Louis. I wish,, um I wish I could but I don't know if I'm ready."

"Ready with me or overall ready?" Louis asks and swallows nervously.

"With you."

"Right." Louis looks down at his lap. "I-I never told you this but,, way back when the band broke up, they gave me two options. You, or being out. Be myself, without hiding my sexuality. I chose you." Harry's jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

"I don't know what to say... I'm sorry Lou."

"Don't be. I don't regret it one bit." Louis says and looks up to him. "I'd always wait for you." Harry doesn't answer. He just smiles and Louis knows.

They're both still in love.

**