Chapter VIII

A/N: I'm just going to move all of the following authors more to the very beginning of each chapter. Anyway thank you guys for 1.6k reads this means so much to me and please excuse all the mistakes, hopefully this chapter can be edited soon.

Edited by FabiHoran13

Kylo Ren's POV:

I hadn't been truthful to Rey. I had maintained the secret to myself, hiding it in the back of my thoughts, but it haunted me every minute I spent with her. It had a voice desperately whispering to be revealed. I am aware of all the opportunities I've had to tell her, but I wasn't ready to lose her and I don't  think I'd ever be ready.

Up to this point I had never quite understood the meaning of love. I couldn't believe anyone one was truly capable of putting someone else's needs and emotions before their own, but now I understood. I grasped the idea of protecting and loving someone so much that it hurt.

For once in my life I was happy, I had found someone who loved me with all my flaws and shattered pieces. Rey was slowly fixing me and returning me to my previous self.  I couldn't resist being apart from her for more than a minute, without her I felt like the air was being sucked right out of me. Although we never did tell one another how we felt, we could sense it in one other. Love was present in every moment. In every kiss, in every embrace, in every touch. Her voice was always ringing in my head, her laugh was music in my ears. The way the name Ben rolled of her lips sent me into ecstasy. Her soft skin was irresistible to touch. I felt unworthy of her love and affection and sometimes that thought of not being good enough for her pained me.

A missing piece of me had always been missing and I finally realized she was the missing puzzle piece that made me complete and without her I would die.

It was difficult to hide our affection from every other person belonging to the First Order. After Hux's suspicions spread around, Rey and I had to be more cautious of where and when we met. I would only see her for a few hours while we trained before returning to my other duties with Snoke. He had finally come to his senses in completing my training and preparing for the attack against the Republic, but it was almost useless.

After my late night meetings with Rey, I went off to train by myself before resting. I had become more powerful than Snoke could have ever made me because I held an advantage. I had someone who believed in me and motivated me to never give up, and that was exactly what I was going to do. Soon the time would come to rebel against him and  rejoin my mother. She probably despised me after every terrible thing I did. If she loved my father as much I loved Rey, I could just imagine how much pain she had undergone after losing him and it was all my fault.

Rey would hate me too after I admitted this secret I've been hiding for months. Maybe if she realized I had the courage to speak the truth she could find it in her heart to forgive me.

Rey's POV:

I'm completely and utterly terrified. I'm terrified of how deeply I loved Ben. I am being controlled by all these emotions he provoked in me, but the thought of him leaving me was what terrified me. I know how it feels to be abandoned with no one to turn to, no one to console you. I never wanted to live through that ever again.

Ben had warned me we had to be careful of how we acted when our affection. We were already being observed by others and any tiny slip up would cause him problems from all directions, but most importantly with Snoke. His betrayal to the First Order could possibly have him killed and I was going to do anything in my power to prevent that, but I couldn't protect him from within this room, waiting an not being able to do anything.

He insisted I stayed put until the time came to escape. He wanted people to continue believing I was being held against my will and was being forced to train in exchange for my friends safety.

Ben had admitted that they weren't being held captive aboard. After our duel, Finn had been discovered unconscious by other members of the Republic and been pulled aboard into one of their ships. Half of them had split up to find me, but Ben had made sure to drag us as near as possible to the location of one of the First Order's ship, and to his benefit, we were eventually discovered and aided aboard.

Knowing that Finn had been found and treated for his injuries brought me some sort of comfort,but of part of me wondered why they hadn't continued searching for me. Could it be that they thought I was dead?

In that moment I had a sudden desire to be reunited with Finn and to be back home even though there was nothing left for me there. I missed having the sun lay on my back and the view of it setting and rising as each day passed by. It seemed as if ages have passed since I've seen anything that wasn't dark walls and long hallways. I didn't mind as much with Ben being by my side. He could make me forget anything just by holding me in his arms.

Just as I daydreamed about him, he appeared with his mask in hands and his radiant smile displayed across his face. He placed his mask on the center table and walked towards me embracing me in a warm hug and pecking my lips.

"What are you doing back so early? I thought you said you'd be busy reorganizing Stormtroopers today." I questioned.

"Yeah, but I couldn't resist being apart from you any longer," he said between kisses. "Even if it's only for a few minutes."

I continued responding to every kiss before posing a question that had roamed my thoughts a couple of times.

"What are you reorganizing them for?"

His loss of words made me worrisome. Could he be hiding something from me?

"Nothing," he suddenly responded ," just the occasional orders from Snoke."

"Are you sure that's all?" I further questioned.

"You know I'll never join him. " I moved my hands from his shoulders and tightly grasped his hands. "Ben, we have to find a way out of here. Snoke will eventually begin demanding my betrayal of the Resistance and when I deny him , he'll kill me. I'm no use to him if I don't join the First Order."

"No that won't happen," His hands released mine and instead laid gently on my cheeks. " I promise you that as long as I live, no one will ever hurt you."

He sealed his promise with a soft kiss. Our foreheads laid on one another and our hands intertwined. Nothing could ruin that moment until he pulled away.

"Wait Rey, I have to tell you something."

"No, just enjoy this moment with me before you go," I pleaded.

"No Rey, I have to admit something to you," he insisted.

"Ok tell me then."

"I-I...I-I," he was nervous, droplets of sweat had began forming on his forehead, his hands were trembling.

"I love you."

I couldn't believe those eight letters had just been spoken by him. Never did I expect to hear those three words.

"I love you too."

I pulled him to me and reconnected our lips.

I never wanted this moment to end, but he had to leave before someone came searching for him.

"I promise I'll come up with a plan to escape. For now just stay here and don't let anyone else in. I'll be back at midnight."

He gave me one last kiss before retrieving his mask and cautiously walking out.

I thought I was unaccompanied until I heard faint footsteps coming closer and closer. The similar ginger in black uniform stood in front of me as he had only a few months before.

"I believe congratulations are in order," he spoke wickedly.

"How'd you get in here?"

"That's not important, though really I must say you two make a nice couple if only his intentions were serious."

"What?" No he was lying. I couldn't believe a single word that came out of his mouth. He was dishonest and brought joy out of hurting others.

"Don't tell me you've really been that stupid to fall under his manipulation," he chuckled. "He was simply following Snoke's orders. You see he had to gain your trust somehow and since you're a pretty hard shell to crack, the only way to get through to you was to make you believe he had fallen in love with you. It was quite pitiful actually watching you declare you're love to him. I have to give some credit to Kylo though he might be a crybaby,he certainly does know how to deceive."

"No, there's not a single reason why I should believe anything you're saying," I shrieked.

"Open your eyes, with you in his way, he'd never be able to continue being  Snoke's weapon. That's why he needs to get rid of you, and once he has you out of the way, he'll be free to unleash his rage on the Resistance and lead the First Order as the strongest empire in the galaxy."

"No," I barely managed to speak,"He won't hurt me that way, he promised he wouldn't."

"All promises are meant to be broken."

Tears were threatening to spill any moment now. The last thing I wanted was to break down in front if him.

"I want proof," I demanded.

"Very well follow me," we both stepped out and he hurriedly walked through the halls, constantly checking no one followed beside me. Soon enough we reached one of the quarters, every corner was surrounded by ships and weapons, everything needed in an attack. It was all true. He hadn't changed, he lied to me.

"Look around, all the proof you need is in this very room."

"Why are you doing this? Wouldn't it benefit you to keep me in the dark?."

"On the contrary, if Kylo fails, not only will he lose Snoke's trust, but your escape could be his death sentence. With him gone, I'll be the only once Snoke can confide in."

His death sentence? He might have lied about his feelings, but I truly had fallen in love with him and the last thing I wanted was to bring death upon him. Anger and pain boiled in my veins, the last thing I wished was to face him. I wanted to run as far away from here as possible without ever looking back. Every memory of the special moments we shared tormented me, replaying over and over in a constant loop.

"So what's the plan?" I queried.

"Finally I thought you'd never ask," he smirked. "You'll follow me to one of the shuttles I prepared for you, it'll take you straight to the heart of the Republic. I hope you know how to fly. Oh and warn your friends if you wish, but it won't make much of a difference now."

There in the far of corner laid a shuttle ready to take me away from this nightmare I wanted so desperately to end. I gave him a simple thank you, after all he was the one who brought me to my senses of the manipulation I had lived under.

"You know, as much as a surprise it may come to you, I've come to like you scavenger. I only wish you had been bright enough from the start to join the First Order willingly. Oh and about our friend, don't worry about him, he'll be paying for his crimes soon enough."

For the last time I saw his devilish grin displayed on his lips before the shuttle door closed and off I was. All I could think about throughout the entire flight was how stupid I had been to fall for a monster who had sold his soul away to the devil. There was never a remainder of Ben, Kylo murdered him just as he murdered anyone else who got in his way. I had been an idiot to believe there was still good in him. As Hux had said, his time to pay for his crimes was coming. If only he hadn't trained me, then I wouldn't have planned to kill him.