~𝟭𝟳~

When we got to the hospital, we were informed that Han had gone into surgery. It didn't help my nerves at all. Lee Know stayed by my side the entire time, making sure I didn't cave. A nurse came to me, asking if she could clean me up. I looked at her strangely until she motioned to my forehead. I looked at my reflection in the window next to me and found a cut above my eyebrow, dried blood sticking to the skin on the side of my face. I looked at Lee Know and for the first time noticed there was a blood stain on his shirt from where my forehead pressed. I felt even guiltier. I lowered my head and curled in on myself slightly. He must have noticed because he slipped his arm around my shoulders and gently guided me to the nurse's station. I didn't make eye contact with him, or any of the boys. I felt too bad about what happened.

"Now this might hurt, dearie, but I'm sure you can handle it."

As she started disinfecting, I felt Lee Know take my hand and give it a squeeze. It felt so wrong, him comforting me after the pain I caused. As soon as the nurse was done stitching me up, I pulled my hand away from his and walked to a chair at the other end of the room. I sat down and brought my knees up to my chest, my bare feet resting on the soft cushion. Eventually, the events of the day caught up to me and I was dragged into sleep. But my dreams wouldn't leave me. They never would. Not even when the rest of me felt so numb.

(Third person, Lee Know's perspective)

It was strange to Lee Know to see Ava acting the way she was. She seemed so accepting to his comfort, and yet she seemed so guilty. She just pulled away, leaving him confused. After a while he went to sit next to her, and noticed she was asleep. He slipped his jacket off and gently wrapped it around her shoulders. She stirred in her sleep, a small smile creeping onto her lips before falling into a frown, brows drawing together in what seemed like fear. She was dreaming. He wasn't quite sure what to do, so he went to the only person in the team who he was comfortable asking for advice: Chan. He tapped his Hyung on the shoulder, startling him slightly.

"Hyung, Ava's having a dream, but I don't want to wake her. What can I do?"

"You can just wait for it to pass. It should go by on its own..."

"But she just looks so scared..."

"Maybe you can try holding her hand or hugging her. I think I read somewhere that that helps. Or maybe talk to her in her sleep?"

Lee Know immediately went back to Ava to try. He gently took her hand, feeling her clutch onto his fingers. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. She seemed to ease up slightly, but her muscles still felt tense.

"Hey, Ava. It's okay. I'm here. He can't hurt you."

"He's coming for me," he heard her murmur.

"I'm right here. I won't let him hurt you. None of us will."

He felt her hand start to relax, her breathing slowing down a bit. He looked around to Chan, who smiled at him. Just then, the surgeon came to them. Lee Know lightly shook Ava awake, very reluctantly. At the sight of the surgeon, she sat upright in the chair. Lee Know watched as her eyes filled with worry and guilt.

"What's the news, Doctor? How did the surgery go?" Chan asked.

"He had a lot of internal bleeding. His liver had a large rip in it and his stomach and intestines are severely bruised, but we managed to get the bleeding under control and stitch it up. He'll be in pain for a while and won't be able to eat solid food for about a month, but I'm positive he'll make a full recovery."

The waiting room echoed with sighs of relief. Then Lee Know heard Ava choke out a breath.

"When can we see him?" she asked, her voice rough with emotion.

"He's in recovery, but I think the anaesthetic should have worn off by now. He's in room 257."

They all thanked the doctor, and Lee Know thought to himself how relieved he was that Han was okay. He had grown close with the younger boy. He was the closest with him out of all the boys. When they got to the door of Han's room, everyone rushed in. Everyone except Ava. She stayed near the door, keeping her head low.

"Ava, you okay?" Lee Know asked. She curled in on herself as all the eyes in the room turned to her. He could sense she didn't want to be given that much attention.

"Can I have a hug? Please?"

Han pouted as he asked the question. It made Ava smile slightly, but her smile fell and was quickly replaced by a look of guilt and shame. Nonetheless, she still came over to Han's bedside and took his hand.

"You okay?" Han asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... It's not important. What's important is that you need to rest. Visiting hours will end soon, so we should probably get going."

"Oh...Okay. Sure. I'll see you all tomorrow then."

Han looked very sad at the members leaving, but just as Lee Know got to the door, he saw Ava lean down and give Han a kiss on the forehead. He seemed to lighten up after that. But Lee Know felt something pull in his chest at Ava's caring action. Something he hadn't felt in a long time. And didn't think he'd ever feel again.

(First person, Ava's perspective)

As soon as we got to the dorms from the hospital, I rushed up to my room. I was just about to open the door, when Lee Know reached past my side, grabbing the handle, and pulling it closed again. I turned around, pressing my back to the door frame as he towered over me.

"Please. I just need to be alone right now."

"I know you feel guilty."

I was stunned into silence by his words. I just stared at him. He let go of the door handle and took a step back, as if to give me the choice; the choice of whether I wanted to talk to him about it or not. I turned around again, opening my door, and stepping inside. I didn't close the door though, hesitating before stepping aside to let him in instead. I closed the door behind him and took a seat on the edge of my bed, looking at the floor. I felt the matrass dip as he sat next to me. We sat in silence. I just couldn't figure out how to word it right.

"I just... I..."

"It's okay. Let me ask you instead; why do you feel guilty? What do you think it is that you did?"

"I led you all into this whole thing. If I had just gone to the authorities with the evidence I had, I could have stopped my commander from ambushing us. I could have..." I took in a shaky breath. "I could have prevented Han from getting shot." A tear ran down my cheek, but I swiped it away. It wasn't the time to cry.

"Ava, this was not your fault. There was no way this could have gone any better than it did, only worse. Had you gone to the authorities; they probably only would have taken him in for questioning. Then when he got out, he would have killed you. And besides, Han's okay. The doctor said he'll make a full recovery remember?"

"I know, I just feel so responsible. They were after me, not you guys. What if the gunshot wound was worse? What if Han hadn't made it? That would have been on my head. I would have been responsible for his death."

My tears started flowing, no matter how hard I tried to swipe them away or get them to stop. A sob rippled through my body, making my clutch my hand over my mouth. Lee Know gently took my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. I wanted to pull away. I could feel my tears soaking through his shirt, but he held me close, not once letting me go.

"Shh, it's okay. Just breathe. I've got you."

I kept crying into his chest, feeling it expand and contract as he breathed. My breathing started matching up with his, calming me down slightly. There was a knock on the door. When no one answered, it opened to reveal Felix. He peeked his head past the door, blonde hair falling into his eyes. He looked concerned when he saw me. He took a seat next to me and gently rubbed my forearm. Then he rested his head on my shoulder.

"See, we're here for you. No matter what," I heard Lee Know say.

I breathed in and sat up. I looked at both the boys, smiling at them. I wiped my tears away and sniffed one last time.

"Channie Hyung said to come tell you two that he made us all some snacks before bed. Jeongin was hungry."

I giggled at Felix's last sentence. I squeezed both the boys' hands before getting up and heading downstairs.

"Hey, you okay? You seemed kind of off after what happened. I was worried," Hyunjin said when he saw me. I smiled at him and nodded.

"I'm okay, thanks to Lee Know. He seems to be very helpful with my feelings lately."

"He's like that sometimes. He's a good listener."

I nodded, smiling inwardly. If only I could have known him three years earlier, I thought to myself. Then I wouldn't be having these nightmares.