Opening my eyes

The night felt heavy as Billie sat on the balcony of her rented apartment, the city lights flickering like stars against the dark sky. She cradled a mug of tea in her hands, her mind swirling with thoughts she hadn't dared to put into words.

Nat.

Billie closed her eyes and let out a slow breath. The past week had been intense—watching Nat break down, piecing together her story, staying by her side as she tried to find her footing again. It wasn't just about being a good friend or even about feeling responsible. It was something else. Something deeper.

She sipped her tea, hoping the warmth would calm the unease in her chest. But the truth was too loud to ignore: somewhere along the way, she'd started falling for Nat.

The realization hit her like a freight train. It wasn't just concern she felt when Nat cried, or pride when she took a step forward. It was something bigger. She noticed it in the way her heart raced whenever Nat smiled, in the way she caught herself watching her out of the corner of her eye, and in the ache she felt when Nat spoke about her pain.

She wanted to be more than just a shoulder to lean on. She wanted to be the person Nat turned to, the one who made her feel safe and loved and whole again.

But how could she even begin to figure this out? Nat had been through so much—was it fair to complicate things by bringing her own feelings into the mix?

Billie let out a groan, leaning back in her chair. She didn't trust herself to untangle this on her own. There was only one person she could think of who might help her make sense of it.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts, pausing on Finneas's name. Her brother had always been her rock, her confidant, the one person she could trust with everything. If anyone could help her navigate this, it was him.

She hit the call button and waited, tapping her fingers anxiously against her mug as the phone rang.

"Billie?" Finneas's familiar voice came through the line, warm and slightly amused. "What's up? It's late."

"I know," Billie said quickly, chewing on her bottom lip. "I just... I need to talk to you about something."

"Of course. What's going on?"

There was a pause as Billie tried to find the right words. "It's about Nat."

"The friend you've been helping out? The one who owns the cafe?" Finneas asked, his tone instantly more serious.

"Yeah. Her." Billie hesitated, her grip tightening on her phone. "I think... I think I have feelings for her."

The line was silent for a moment, and Billie's heart sank. "Please say something," she muttered.

"I'm just surprised," Finneas finally said, his voice calm but thoughtful. "You've never really talked about anyone like this before."

"I know," Billie admitted. "But this feels... different. She's different. I've never felt this way about anyone."

"Okay," Finneas said, his tone measured. "Tell me what you're feeling."

Billie sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I don't even know how to explain it. It's like... I care about her so much, and I want to protect her from everything. But it's more than that. I want her to see herself the way I see her—strong, brave, amazing. And I want to be the one who helps her feel safe again. I don't want to push her or make things harder for her, but... I can't stop thinking about her."

Finneas was quiet for a moment, and Billie could hear him breathing on the other end of the line. Finally, he spoke. "It sounds like you really care about her. But, Billie, you have to think about where she's at right now. If she's still healing, she might not be ready for something more. You need to be careful with this. Don't rush it."

"I know," Billie said softly. "That's why I'm scared to say anything. I don't want to hurt her. I just... I don't know what to do with these feelings."

"You don't have to figure it all out right now," Finneas said gently. "Be there for her. Let her heal, and let her see that you're in her corner no matter what. If there's something more between you two, it'll happen naturally. But don't force it, and don't let your feelings become another thing she has to carry."

Billie nodded, even though he couldn't see her. "Yeah. You're right. I just... I've never felt like this before, Finneas. It's terrifying."

"I get that," he said with a small laugh. "But love usually is. Just take it one step at a time, okay? You're doing the right thing by being there for her. That's all you can do for now."

"Thanks," Billie said, her voice soft. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd figure it out," Finneas said warmly. "But I'm glad you called. And hey—if you ever need to talk about this again, you know where to find me."

"Yeah," Billie said, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Thanks, Finn. I love you."

"Love you too, Bill. Hang in there."

When the call ended, Billie stared out at the city lights, her heart still heavy but a little steadier. She didn't have all the answers, but Finneas was right—she didn't have to figure it all out at once.

For now, she would focus on being there for Nat, on helping her heal and showing her that she wasn't alone. And maybe, someday, when the time was right, she'd find the courage to tell her how she felt.

But until then, she'd wait.