14) Engagement Rings and Mood Swings

I was standing in the elevator, utterly anxious to see the new hotel room Marshall rented out for the both of us. It was a small hotel suite we would use only until he had the money and time to settle down and rent out a real place. But that didn't mean I was upset. I was patient and understanding that these things took time. Especially since Marshall's career hadn't exactly taken off yet. The thought of him being a successful superstar wasn't exactly set and stone quite yet.

I looked to my right with a big grin as Marshall stood beside me, facing forward, holding my luggage.

The elevator door finally slid open and we both stepped out, side by side, walking down the hallway.

Once we got to our front door, Marshall set both my bags down against his legs. He then reached into his pocket, fondling around for his keys. When he finally found them, he stuck one in the lock and opened the door for me.

"Ladies first." He picked up both my bags and stepped aside for me.

I smirked at his new found politeness before making my way into the room.

"To think, Marshall Mathers of all people would be using acts of chivalry." I humored while placing both hands on my hips.

"I dunno bout all that," He shrugged while trying to keep a chill composure. "I was just tryna be polite."

I rolled my eyes at his ignorance. "Honey, that's what chivalry means."

"Ohhh. Right, right.." He nodded his head slowly. I couldn't help but laugh.

He then cleared his throat and waited for me to walk in before following from behind.

I breathed in deep, taking a full glimpse at the lovely hotel room. It wasn't exactly the most fanciest thing in the world, but from what I was used to, it was a room fit for a queen.

I noticed the floors were a carpeted beige, similar to my old home on 8 mile. Only these were much nicer and clean. I looked back up and saw a large sliding door that led to a small deck outside. Sadly, the parking lot was our view.

The main area of the place seemed to be the living room area. There was a black leather couch and a matching loveseat beside it. Across from the couch, was a decent sized Panasonic tv that had a VCR set below it on a wooden stand.

I looked to the right of the living room. There was a cute little kitchen area with a breakfast bar separating itself from the living room. Three, thirty inched black stools stood against it.

I walked towards the kitchen. The floor was just a basic white tile, but the rest of the kitchen's style was pretty modern considering the black wooden counters and high end silver fridge.

"Ain't it nice?" I felt Marshall's arms snake around my waist from behind.

"I mean, I know it's just a temporary hotel suite, but it's better than anything I've ever lived in." I said, turning my head back at him. We gave each other a quick kiss then broke apart. I watched him as he lifted off his hat and placed it on the breakfast bar. I jolted back in shock.

"Marshall! Your hair!" I gasped

"What about it?"

"It's-it's blonde!" I placed my hand over my mouth in shock. Was I going crazy?

"Oh, right." He said. while patting it down. "I forgot to tell you, Dre made me dye it." He smirked and picked back up his hat, swinging it around his fingers while taking in my look of complete and utter shock. "You like it?"

"I mean — it's different." I swallowed a little uneasy.

I took in the fact that he was no longer a brunette but it was still hard to sink in. I just wasn't use to this picture. Ever since we were late teens when I met him, Marshall had dark brown hair. That's how it's always been. Now it's gone. It's, it's blonde. Is he even the same person? Oh my gosh.

The more I stared, the more I got used to it. I think I actually liked it.. Wow. He was a blonde haired babe now. I didn't think he realized just how attractive he was, even before the blonde hair.

"It actually looks really good." I said, emphasizing the 'really'. I then bit my lip as I watched him grin at my compliment.

"Well that's a relief. I wasn't really sure about it." He smirked and placed his hat back down on the bar.

"It's weird." I said, tilting my head. "Your eyes were always really blue, but they seem to pop even more now." I watched as his big blue eyes glistened in front of me.

"Thanks." He smiled.

"No seriously, you look really hot like this." I emphasize again.

"Damn, guess you better watch out." He taunted while wiggling his eyebrows and wrapping his arms around me. "All the bitches are gonna start flocking to me, like birds."

I rolled my eyes. "Well you better tell those birds you got a cat at home who would love to claw them down."

Marshall's hand glided down my back as he laughed into my face. His cheek dimple grew deeper as his smile stretches farther. It then faded as he pressed our heads together.

"Mm baby, you know I'd prefer you over any woman in the world. They got nothin' on you."

I blushed and released a light giggle. He leaned in and gave me a kiss. And another one. And another..

Finally, we broke apart.

"Hey, why don't you go check out the bedroom?" He mumbled into my ear before gently letting me go. I looked at him, confused but walked away. I turned my head back around but he just nodded his head as a cue for me to keep going. I shrugged and continued walking.

I opened the door that was left of the living room.

Inside the bedroom was a lovely queen sized bed with perfectly white sheets. There was a side table drawer to the left of it, and a big faux ficus plant to the right. Left of the bed area was a second bathroom for both of us. I decided to go check it out.

I was left in awe over the perfectly clean shower area, and cute lavender curtains when Marshall stepped in.

"Did ya see the bed?"

I turned around at him. He was leaning his body forward as his arms pressed against the other sides of the the door's entrance.

Why's he so restless?

I knitted my eyebrows together. "Uh yes, I did. It looks really nice." I said, tilting my head.

"Oh aight." He replied. "But did you lay in it yet?" He smirked even more. "Y'know like get to feel how soft the mattress is and shit?"

"Well, no. But I can do that tonight. What's the big deal?" I laughed.

"I dunno, I jus' want you to check it out aight?" He said, backing his body back up so that he was now standing straight. "It's the softest bed you've ever owned, go see."

"Um, ok." I said blankly while finally backing out of the bathroom.

I slowly walked in front of the bed and began folding the sheets over so that I could slip in. Right as I did so, a small black box became exposed. I looked at Marshall. He was smiling at me uncontrollably.

I looked back down at the box, picking it up.

I flipped the lid back and was blown away by a shiny silver---engagement ring?

I looked back at Marshall. "It's beautiful. But I don't understand, I already have a ring,"

"I wanted you to have a real ring. Y'know, a nice one." He walked closer to me. "I mean c'mon we all know the one I got you back in Detroit was nothin' but trash. You don't even wear it." He laughed at the end of his sentence but it made me feel bad.

"Babe, that's not true. I just kept forgetting to wear it.." I said, lubricating my throat to avoid the tension of lying. "It wasn't that bad."

"'Course it was." Marshall laughed. "It turned your whole finger green, remember?"

I laughed nervously thinking back on it.

The truth was, I couldn't wear the ring because of how cheap and fake it was. It physically turned my finger green. But I knew that wasn't Marshall's fault. We were both basically broke. I was just happy he wanted to marry me. As long as we planned on being engaged and being together forever, well, I couldn't care less about some ring. Which was why I felt bad. Marshall must've saved up the money for me which was so unbelievably sweet, but not necessary.

"Honestly Marshall you didn't need to do this." I shook my head in denial while staring down at the gorgeous diamond.

"Yeah I did." He defended. "We're engaged and you need a proper ring. I dunno much about this whole marriage shit but that's gotta be a rule somewhere." He scratched the back of his head. "So anyways, I scraped up some money by doing lots of rap gigs here in LA." He said while grabbing the box from my hands. He took the ring out and tossed the box back on the bed.

We made deep eye contact as he held onto my hand and slipped the ring through my finger. I looked down at the diamond shimmering.

"There. Now we engaged fo'real." He smirked.

I shook my head. "Marshall I--I don't know what to say. It's beautiful." I looked back up at him. His blue eyes seemed to be shimmering even more than the ring.

"You don't gotta say anythin'" he wrapped his arms around my waist. "But you can start by tellin' me how much you love me."

We both giggled as we pressed our noses together.

"How about I show you instead?" I suggested seductively. We both embraced into a long passionate kiss.

When we broke our lips apart, he began trailing kisses up and down my neck. My eyes rolled back as I let my neck relax. I started to feel his teeth gently tug at my earlobe, causing a slight moan to escape my breath.

"I've missed that sound so much." He whispered while continuing to nibble at my earlobe.

At that point, I grabbed hold of his sweatshirt and lifted it off his body. He then took off his pants and underwear as I did the same for my dress and panties.

We were now frozen, standing right in front of each other. Both fully naked. Which we hadn't done in a few months.

He looked amazing. Better, even. Or maybe it was just because it's been a while since the last time I've seen him. All I knew was that he was definitely more tan now than when I last saw him. And his body seemed more toned. And his new blonde hair just looked, amazing.

Looking at his frozen expression, had me even more insecure about my current body. Maybe he didn't feel the same way about me..

"I'm just gonna put my dress back on." I said with a shaky voice and bent over to pick my dress back off the floor.

"No." Marshall ordered in a rumbling voice. I quickly stood back up, straight. He examined me again with his eyes. "God, even while pregnant, you're bad as fuck." He breathed out while sliding both his hands down my bare shoulders.

"Really?" I asked in shock.

"Yeah. Now shh." He silenced me. "Don't move."

He slowly examined my body from all angles, slowly walking around me. I bit my lip as I stood still for him.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful." He breathed out from behind while rubbing his hands up and down my shoulders. He then spun me around, grabbing hold of me. We began kissing passionately.

There wasn't much to do with me being pregnant, but we sure had our ways of making up for it.

****

The next morning Marshall made a call to schedule a doctor's appointment in the evening. After that he had to leave early to go work with Dre in the studio.

I spent most of my day looking in the newspaper for some nearby job offerings. I also spent the time dealing with all of my annoying pregnancy symptoms. Man were these cramps annoying.

By the time Marshall finally got home, the sun was slowly beginning to go down, it was around 5:50.

Our appointment was scheduled for 6:15.

I had just finished folding all of the laundry when Marshall came trudging out of the bathroom.

"Ugh, I need a nap." He sighedvwhile pouncing his body onto the couch and closing his eyes.

"And I need to see the doctors in about 25 minutes." I shot back while folding the last item of clothing and placing it on top of the pile. I then walked towards Marshall. "I hope you didn't forget." I said sarcastically, knowing damn well that he did.

I tossed his jacket on top of him.

His eyes forced open as he rubbed his face while moaning. "Goddammit Tori, why couldn't you schedule this for tomorrow? Or Monday.."

"Because," I cross my arms over my chest. "I wanna know if our baby is healthy and doing alright. I mean I've waited eight months for this, isn't that enough? Don't make me wait even longer." I watched him slowly sit up to place his jacket on.

He rubbed his eyes before yawning.

"Aight, whatever. Let's just...get this over with." He started heading towards the door in a sluggish manner.

Now I was mad. Get this over with? How could he act like this doesn't matter? His attitude towards this sounds like he doesn't give two shits about our child.

"You comin' or what?" He asked agitated.

"I don't know. Maybe I should just go by myself." I said with a face full of bad attitude.

He rolled his eyes while still holding onto the doorknob. "How come?"

"Well," I started with a stiff voice. "The way you're acting has me thinking you don't care about our baby's health." I spat with eyes turned to slits.

He turned around with a tight clench in his jaw.

"How could you say that? Of course I care! It's my damn baby, ain't it?" He opened the door aggressively in anger, waiting for me to walk out before slamming it shut. "I can't believe you think I don't care."

"Well look at the way you're acting, the way you're carrying yourself." I hissed. "You didn't even wanna get up off the couch to see how your own baby is doing."

"It's not that I didn't wanna go, I jus' don't think it's in danger. I mean you're makin' it sound like the baby's dying or some shit. Just this morning you said you felt it kicking."

We both stepped into the elevator.

"That's not the point!" I raised my voice since we're the only ones riding. "I wanna hear from a doctor. I want things confirmed. Don't you get it?" Tears started forming in the corners of my eyes but I held them back as I watched Marshall press the button to go to the first floor. I'm not letting another miscarriage happen. I refuse. My throat tightened from getting all emotional so I stopped talking before it got worse.

"Look, babe, I get where you're comin' from. But I'm jus' tryna tell you that you wouldn't be eight months pregnant if the baby wasn't healthy. Aight? You're overreacting--"

"Don't say that! I'm not overreacting." I quickly shouted, feeling defensive.

Marshall's facial expression softened but mine stayed stiff from anger. I turned my head away and struggled even more to hold in the tears. I knew it was the pregnancy that had me so emotional and angry but even knowing that, I didn't want to try and calm down. For some reason I wanted to stay mad at Marshall.

"Tori," He tried to console me by pulling me into him but I pushed him away out of anger. "Look, I didn't mean to offend you." He tried again. "Tori, look at me."

My eyes focused on the corner of the elevator floor. I was too mad and hurt to look at him. I didn't want to look at him. I heard him puff out a breath of air due to frustration.

Once the elevator opened up,?we stepped outside and waited for the bus.

The weather dropped immensely since yesterday. I felt the cold autumn breeze blow through my long hair and the small holes of my long red cardigan sweater. I pulled both sides of the cardigan together and hugged my body tight.

"You want my jacket?" Marshall mumbled, still feeling tension. I gave him a cold stare and looked away. "Oh so now you're givin' me the fuckin' silent treatment?" I kept my head facing forward and ignored him. "Aight fine, fine. Be a bitch." Even then, I continued to ignore him.

Geez Tori, these hormones or whatever from the pregnancy has gotten you so petty. Quit being a baby.

I looked back at Marshall who was standing beside me with his hands shoved into his pockets. He was wearing a jacket and beanie but he still looked a little cold. I noticed his face; he looked so pissed off. His eyebrows were all scrunched together and the muscle above them flexed. Just looking at him had me instantly mad again. So I continue to be stubborn and ignored him.

Once the bus arrived in front of us, Marshall paid the driver for both of us and took a seat near the middle of the bus, assuming I'd follow.

However, instead of sitting next to him, I sat by myself, two seats up.

I could feel Marshall's eyes glaring at me from the back of my head but he didn't say anything.

Five minutes later, the bus made another stop and a bunch of other people got on.

I felt the draft from outside as the bus driver allowed the other passengers onto the bus. I crossed my arms over my body in attempt to warm up as I watched all the people step aboard.

A fairly attractive young man in a yellowish beige sweater made eye contact with me as he walked down the aisle.

"Hey." He said while nodding his head and taking a seat beside me.

"Hi." I answered back in a dull tone. I was still in a bad mood but decided not to take it out on this poor stranger. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ears and fixed my posture by sitting up straighter.

"I couldn't help but notice you looked a little cold. You want my jacket?" He offered, holding up his brown leather jacket.

"No that's alright." I shook my head. "But thanks."

"Oh come on, I insist." He said, handing it over.

"Well alright." I leaned forward as he began placing it over my shoulders. "Thanks." I smiled shyly, looking to my right. But instead of my eyes turning to his face, they instantly glued onto Marshall, who was now standing beside us.

"Can I help you sir?" The guy beside me asked Marshall, politely.

"Yeah, you can move away from my girlfriend." He growled.

"Your girlfriend?" The guy exchanged a confused look at both Marshall and I. He then laughed. "Buddy, you weren't even sitting together."

"So? We got into a fight, aight? Now move."

"How am I suppose to believe you?" The guy shot back while laughing. "Because I'm pretty sure she would have said something if you were really her boyfriend." Marshall stayed quiet, waiting for me to speak up, but instead I quickly faced my head back forward. "See," the guy continued. "Now leave us alone."

"Look buddy, you see that baby inside of her right now?" Marshall pointed at my baby bump. "That's from me, aight? I did that. Not you. And you see that engagement ring on her? That's also from me. So you better get off your fuckin' ass before I kick it. Aight? Beat it Mr. Rogers."

"Geez s-sorry, sir." The man nervously jumped up and found another seat.

Marshall mumbled something before sitting down next to me. "Yo why didn't you say anythin' to that fag? You didn't even stick up for your own boyfriend." He scoffed while shaking his head. "You had me lookin' like a fuckin' liar--" he stopped himself once he noticed my silence. "Oh right. You're still being a cunt and givin' me the silent treatment."

"Don't call me a cunt." I snapped before turning my head back forward.

"Oh now you're talkin'." He laughed sarcastically.

"Yeah, because I don't need your name calling." I huffed while crossing my hands over my chest.

"Fine, whatevah, I'm sorry. But it wasn't ok for you to just sit there while that fruitcake was testin' me."

"I was still ignoring you." I said 'matter-of-factly'.

"Exactly, you're actin like a two year old and makin' my ass look stupid."

"Trust me you did that on your own." I laughed to myself.

"Wow you think you real funny don't you?" Go on, keep bein' a fuckin' cunt. See what happens."

"What do you mean?" I asked a little nervously.

If you keep this shit up I'm not--" he stopped himself by sighing. "Forget it. Just, don't pull some shit like that on me again, okay? I mean that was some petty Kim shit right there. I don't need that in a girl. Especially one that's 25. That typa shit'll make me leave."

He's comparing me to Kim? AND talking about leaving? What's gotten into me?

I rubbed my eyes together.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm just, mad and going through pregnancy mood swings."

"No. The old you would've stuck up for me, regardless of bein' in some pregnant mood swing. That was some immature bullshit Tori. I hope you know that."

I continued to look out the window, letting some tears fall out as I did so. 

Around five minutes after I looked back at Marshall. He already had his music playing through his headphones. I grabbed his forearm to get his attention.

"What?" He asked after pausing his music.

"I honestly don't know why I was acting so immature and stupid. It has to be my hormones. Look, I really am sorry. Please, just, don't be mad anymore." I looked up at him with pitiful eyes, hoping he'd forgive me.

"Jus', give me a minute." He sighed while putting his music back on, but letting me rest my head on his shoulder. Sometimes he would get mad and need time to cool off. But this was his way of letting me know he's trying to forgive me. I slid my arm under his and linked our hands together. He wrapped his fingers over my small hand and continued blocking out the world with his music.