☆ First stage ☆

Damn it.

His shirt has a huge piece of my snot on it, and it was wet and disgustingly yellow.

He was staring down at it, horrified.

"Mi..mianhae." I stuttered, sure that he was going to rage at me. If anyone ever left their snot on me, I would fly into a rage.

Hoeever, he burst out into laughter instead. He looked down at his snot-stained shirt and laughed even harder, his face turning red.

Ohno, he must be so mad he'd gone crazy.

In a feeble attempt to atone for my sin, I were about to try wiping it off his shirt with my hands when he suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Ani. Gwaenchanhna." He forced a smile, then stood up and started shaking his shirt so the snot dripped off.

"Jinjja mianhae. It's so gross." I said, grimacing.

Sitting back down, he ruffled my hair and smiled, "Since its you, it's not as disgusting."

Surprised by his reaction, I smiled back and started laughing out loud at the ridiculousness of it all. I can't believe he didn't get mad or disgusted.

He must really be crazy.

*~~*

I unlocked the door and stepped into the dorm, trying to keep as quiet as possible to not disturb the girls.

I needn't do that, since they were all still awake.

"Hyemi yah, gwaenchanhna?? Where did you go, do you know how worried we were???" The girls bombarded me with questions.

I held up my hand for silence and proceeded to collapse onto the sofa, exhausted.

"I was just at the park. Nothing happened, and I'm okay."

I smiled forcefully at them, hoping I didn't look as dead as I felt.

The girls passed looks of concern between each other, but didn't ask anymore. They've spent enough time with me to know that I rarely talked about my problems. I was more of a listener.

"Hey, you know what's going to cheer you up? We're going to start LILAC TV!!!!! And also, we're scheduled to attend varieties and perform on music shows!!!"

Hana screamed, grabbing my hand and jumping around. The other girls too jumped around, and soon it became havoc.

They were all jumping up and down, laughing and going crazy, all excited and hyped up over our starting career. They were all so happy. But what about me?

I stopped jumping and slumped down onto the floor. Tears started to fall non-stop, and I could feel the girls' shocked stares down at me.

I couldn't stop crying. It just felt so unfair, how they could all be happy, while I was stuck with having to get over Hanbin. How could he do this to me?

I buried my face into my hands and sobbed into it. They started patting my back, trying to comfort me. Nothing helped. Nothing could help me.

The only medicine was Hanbin. But it might as well be considered sold out now.

*~~*

"UNNIE, WAKE UP!!!"

I groaned, trying to swat away whoever was pushing me.

"Unnie, wake up now or you're going to be late for our music show."

Shit.

I jolted upright, my eyes wide open. Ouchhhhhh the lightttt. And my eyes, they felt so swollen and uncomfortable. Oh no, too much late night crying.

I wanted to stay in bed all day, to heal my bleeding heart. I felt so empty inside, like a huge chunk of me was missing.

Would the huge gash on my heart ever heal?

Two hours went by in a blur. All i thought about was Hanbin, Hanbin and Hanbin. All i wanted to do was curl up on my bed and cry.

Finally, it was our turn soon to perform. Our first stage.

Stage fright hit me and I started to get more and more nervous, using this as a distraction from Hanbin.

Looking in the mirror, I smiled at my reflection. Not bragging, but I really did look pretty. The stylist unnie had done an excellent job.

We were all just crowded together, sitting on the sofa in our waiting room, going through our lyrics and dance, trying to shake off our nerves.

Suddenly, my phone rang.

"Yeoboseyo?"

"Yah, you didn't save my number?"

Oh right. I forgot to save Junhoe's number.

"Mian. Wae?"

"Today's your first debut stage right? I just wanted to cheer you on!! Hwaiting!! HWAITING!!"

I could hear the other iKON members cheering for me and I smiled, touched.

"Gomawo!!" Hana grabbed my phone over and shouted into it, then laughed and handed it back to me.

Before I hung up, I had to ask a question.

I had to, I couldn't help myself.

"Junhoe ah... how's Hanbin..?"

There was a long silence.

"He.. he's fine. He's still sleeping, he worked till really late yesterday."

I nodded, a tear threatening to fall.

So he was fine, but I wasn't.

I hung up, just before the staff called LILAC to prepare to go onstage.

Before going onto the stage, the six of us crowded around and held hands, then whispered, "Gaja Lilac, let's slay."

And slay we did. The crowd went wild, all supporting this newly debuted group.

I wonder if Hanbin would watch my very first performance as LILAC.

*~~*

*HANBIN POV*

I spent the whole night writing lyrics. Writing about Hyemi. I've written about 30 songs for her, way more than I've ever written for anyone.

But of course she doesn't know that. I was planning to give 5 songs to her on every anniversary, but I guess that won't be necessary anymore.

Letting go of someone when you still love her deeplyShe makes you go insane, without her you become sickly Without her you're lost in a maze of liesNo way for the sun to rise ..........

I heard the other members shouting 'HWAITING' in the living room and my heart throbbed even harder.

It should have been me, congratulating and cheering Hyemi on. I should have been there, watching Hyemi perform as LILAC for the first time.

But that's not possible. Junhoe will do the job.

I hope she shows her charm on stage. I hope she gets many, many love from the fans. I hope she goes far, she deserves fame. And I hope that Junhoe will treat her right, treasure her and make her feel loved and no longer insecure.

It'll no longer be me hugging her anymore, giving her kisses on the forehead. No longer be me making her heart beat faster.

I'll miss her laughter, I'll miss pinching her cheeks.

I'll miss you, Lee Hyemi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if this chapter was boring and had no Hanmi moments:"(((

I wanted to focus more on LILAC's debut since thats a lead up to a rly impt scene ltr!!! I promise the next chapters wld be more interested!!!

Cant wait for u guys to find out whats gna happen soon;-)))

Dont forget to vote, and add this story to yr library!!! <33333

Picture credits to jinhwaned on ig