sixteen

"'cause sometimes i look in her eyes, and that's where i find a glimpse of us." -glimpse of us, joji.

——

the studio was full of noise—laughter, chatter, and the familiar sound of seventeen wrapping up another episode of going seventeen.

the energy was high, everyone still joking around even as the cameras were off. jihoon was packing up his things quietly, slipping his phone into his pocket before anyone noticed how often he'd been checking it between takes.

but of course, someone noticed.

"you've been smiling at your phone again," seungkwan said, grinning as he slung his jacket over his shoulder. "should we be jealous?"

hoshi leaned closer, smirking. "yeah, jihoonie, who's making you look all soft lately? it's weirding me out."

jihoon tried to act unfazed, tugging at the zipper of his hoodie. "no one," he said simply.

"no one?" dokyeom repeated, already laughing. "then i guess no one is named kang misun?"

the room went silent for a beat. everyone froze—heads snapping toward jihoon, eyes wide.

"wait, what?" mingyu's mouth dropped open. "you—you're talking to her?"

jihoon sighed, already regretting every decision that led to this. "dokyeom, seriously?"

dokyeom raised both hands defensively, grinning. "hey, you didn't say it was a secret!"

wonwoo leaned forward, intrigued. "so... are you really texting her again?"

jihoon hesitated, then nodded slowly. "yeah."

a chorus of disbelief filled the room.

"no way."

"since when?"

"how's that even possible?"

"it's been... almost two weeks," he admitted quietly, sitting down on the couch. "we've just been... talking. it's still a bit awkward, but... it's better."

mingyu whistled softly. "wow. i didn't think you two would ever talk again."

jihoon shrugged, eyes fixed on his hands. "me neither."

the room calmed a little after that. the teasing stopped, replaced by something gentler—curiosity, concern.

hoshi tilted his head. "so... how does it feel?"

jihoon let out a small breath, looking down. "weird. familiar. sometimes it feels like nothing's changed, and sometimes it feels like everything has."

"you sound nervous," wonwoo said softly.

"i am," jihoon admitted. "i messed up before. i hurt her, and she didn't deserve that. i keep thinking about it—all the things i could've done differently."

the others stayed quiet, listening.

"i don't even know what i'm trying to do now," he continued. "i just... wanted to make sure she's okay. that she doesn't hate me."

dokyeom smiled gently. "she doesn't hate you, hyung. if she did, she wouldn't be talking to you."

jihoon gave a small laugh. "maybe. still feels like i'm walking on thin ice."

for a while, no one said anything. the air felt heavier, softer somehow. then seungkwan leaned against the wall, studying him.

"okay, real question," he said. "how do you really feel about her?"

the question caught him off guard. jihoon looked up, blinking. "what do you mean?"

"don't overthink it," seungkwan said gently. "just... when you see her name on your phone, when she texts you, what do you feel?"

everyone watched him—quiet, waiting.

jihoon hesitated for a long moment. then, almost in a whisper, he said, "i miss her."

it was so soft, they almost didn't catch it.

he exhaled shakily. "i miss her so much it hurts sometimes. i thought i was over it. i told myself i was. but the second i saw her... it all came back."

the room fell silent again—not from shock this time, but from the weight of honesty.

dokyeom gave him a small pat on the back. "then don't waste it, hyung. if you've got another chance, don't mess it up this time."

jihoon nodded slowly, his fingers brushing against his phone in his pocket.

don't mess it up this time.

that sentence stayed with him long after the lights in the studio went out.

i'm not sure i have a second chance... but i'll try. i'll try my best.