Chapter 18

It was finally time for Nathan to be discharged from the hospital. Dr. Stafford sat across from Nathan and Trevor in the hospital room, going through the discharge instructions with his usual professional thoroughness.

"You'll need to come in for check-ups every two weeks," Dr. Stafford explained, consulting his notes. "The prescribed medications are already waiting at the hospital pharmacy – painkillers, antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, eye drops, and a few others. Most importantly, absolutely no heavy lifting until I clear you. Your ribs and shoulder need more time to heal properly."

"That should be manageable," Nathan replied. "I'm the vet, anyway."

Dr. Stafford frowned slightly, probably wondering what kind of circumstances would lead someone to brutally attack a veterinarian. But the Duttons paid him handsomely for his discretion, and he wasn't about to start asking questions now, especially not after treating Nathan's extensive injuries without involving law enforcement.

Nathan and Trevor collected the discharge paperwork and medications, then finally walked out of the hospital together. Nathan stopped just outside the automatic doors, taking in his first breath of fresh outdoor air in weeks. The Montana sky seemed impossibly wide after the confined hospital room, and even the parking lot felt like freedom.

During the drive back to the ranch, Trevor kept stealing glances at Nathan while navigating the familiar roads. The bruises were fading from deep purple to yellow-green, his right eye was still bloodshot but the swelling looked significantly better, and Nathan still seemed to favor his left shoulder and rib area. But Nathan was smiling, looking ahead at the road that led home, and that made everything else bearable.

When they arrived at the ranch and Trevor had helped Nathan carefully out of the truck, Teeter burst out of the bunkhouse like she'd been watching for them through the window.

"Nathan!" she shouted, immediately wrapping him in a hug that was a little too enthusiastic for someone with healing ribs.

She kissed his cheek with the exuberance of someone who'd been genuinely worried. "You got mama so worried! I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Teeter, watch it." Trevor warned, seeing Nathan wince slightly.

"I missed you too, Teeter." Nathan said, meaning every word despite the discomfort.

Rip emerged from the barn along with the rest of the ranch hands: Lloyd, Colby, Ryan, and Jimmy, all of them gathering around Nathan with expressions that mixed relief and awkward concern.

"Glad to have you back." Rip said simply, and those words meant more to Nathan than any elaborate welcome could have.

"Feels good to be back," Nathan replied, looking around at the faces of people who'd become his family.

They all walked together toward the bunkhouse, Nathan moving carefully but under his own power. As he settled back onto his familiar bunk, surrounded by the sounds and smells of the place that had become home, Nathan felt something he hadn't experienced in weeks: peace.

—

Trevor and Jimmy were working on a section of fence that had taken damage during the spring storms, far enough from the others to work in relative privacy. Jimmy had been watching Trevor carefully for the past few days, noting the tension in his shoulders, the way he threw himself into work with an intensity that seemed more about avoidance than dedication.

Jimmy read the situation and decided to go for it.

"Hey, uh. You're good?" Jimmy asked, setting down his tools.

Trevor raised an eyebrow, continuing to work on the fence post without looking up. "Yeah, Nathan's doing better."

"I'm not asking about Nathan. I'm asking about you."

That made Trevor stop what he was doing, his hands stilling on the wire he'd been stringing.

"You know you can talk to me." Jimmy added quietly.

Trevor looked at Jimmy with an unreadable expression that made Jimmy wonder if he'd pushed too hard, crossed some invisible line. But after a long minute, something seemed to break in Trevor's careful composure.

"Shit, Jimmy. I don't know," Trevor said, his voice rougher than usual. "Everything is so fucked up. Why the fuck did that happen to him? Why the fuck wasn't I around to do anything to stop it?"

His voice started to choke up, weeks of suppressed emotion finally finding an outlet.

"I didn't keep my promises, and I want him to be furious at me 'cause God knows I deserve that. But he didn't... instead he asked me to hold him, and somehow that breaks my heart more. I feel like I don't deserve him."

Trevor's voice broke completely, and he failed to fight back the tears that had been building for weeks. He covered his eyes with one hand, not wanting Jimmy to see him cry.

Jimmy didn't hesitate. He stepped forward and pulled Trevor into a hug, letting the older man cry on his shoulder. For all of Trevor's intimidating presence and military background, in this moment he was just someone who'd almost lost the most important person in his life.

"It's alright, man," Jimmy said softly. "He pulled through. You should too."

Trevor nodded against Jimmy's shoulder, slowly regaining his composure. He pulled away and wiped his tears, embarrassed but somehow feeling lighter than he had in weeks.

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you." Trevor said, but there was no real threat in his voice.

Jimmy smirked, unable to resist. "Is that what you told the guys you hooked up with back in high school?"

Despite the leftover tears, Trevor chuckled. "Fuck you."

They got back to work, but Trevor felt something he hadn't experienced since that horrifying night. A sense that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay. Jimmy had given him permission to fall apart for a few minutes, and somehow that made him feel stronger.

—

It had been a few days since Nathan's return to the ranch, and he was quickly realizing that while his physical injuries were healing, the invisible wounds his attack had left on everyone else were proving more persistent.

The coddling was driving him insane.

Rip would ask him to take a break after the simplest chores, as if checking water troughs might cause a relapse. Ryan and Colby peppered him with "Are you okay?" questions every time he moved too quickly or made any expression that wasn't a smile. Jimmy kept intercepting him when he tried to tend to animals, saying "Just let me do it" with the kind of protective concern that made Nathan feel helpless. Teeter served him his food like he wasn't capable of handling a plate himself. Lloyd couldn't maintain eye contact with him for longer than three seconds, as if he were ashamed of something he couldn't name.

The worst had been when Trevor tried to stop him from going to the stable, clearly thinking Nathan was compartmentalizing his trauma. Nathan had barked at him about horses that needed checking, not caring that he'd almost taken his last breath in that very building. He wasn't going to let fear control his ability to do his job.

But it was the way they all looked at him that bothered Nathan most. With pity and guilt written across their faces like he was some fragile thing that might shatter if they breathed wrong.

After supper, as everyone was about to start cleaning up, Nathan looked around the room and made a decision. Rip was still there, which was perfect. Nathan wanted everyone to hear this.

"Everyone, can I say something?"

The room immediately went quiet. Everyone returned to their seats, some looking worried about what Nathan might say. Nathan stood up, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts. He didn't want to sound ungrateful.

"Look, I'm grateful that you guys are working around my recovery. But the way you're doing it, it honestly makes me feel weird." Nathan's voice was steady but sincere. "I did what I did, and I'm still trying to own that. What happened to me is none of your fault, no one could have predicted it was going to happen. It just happened. So I would appreciate it if you guys would stop trying to compensate for something you're not even responsible for."

He paused, looking around at the faces of people who'd become his family.

"In fact, I have to thank you. Working here at the ranch, having these meals together. It makes me feel like I truly belong, and that's because of all of you. It made my survival worth it."

Nathan spoke everything from the heart, finally getting the weight of their overprotectiveness off his chest. Everyone listened intently, and Trevor found himself falling even deeper for this man who could face down his trauma with such grace and strength.

"We all hear you, Nate." Rip said simply, and everyone else nodded their agreement.

Teeter and Jimmy, the only two people who weren't afraid of showing physical affection, immediately got up and hugged Nathan, and this time nobody warned them to be careful.

—

Moments later, Trevor was smoking on the porch steps when Nathan came out and took a seat next to him. The parallel to their first real interaction over a year ago wasn't lost on either of them. When Nathan had offered Trevor the sleeping tea that had changed both their lives. It was crazy how time flew and how much people could change.

Nathan reached over and took a cigarette from Trevor's pack, lighting it with hands that seemed steadier than Trevor's suddenly felt. Something had shifted in Nathan's demeanor, and Trevor could sense that the conversation he'd been pushing for weeks ago in the hospital was finally coming.

Whatever Nathan was going to say, Trevor needed to be able to take it in.

"It was the night after our wedding..." Nathan began, his voice quiet but clear.

Trevor turned his head to look at Nathan, but Nathan kept his gaze fixed on the empty dark field stretching out before them. He seemed afraid that if he looked into Trevor's eyes, his words would trail off and he'd lose his courage.

"I spilled some wine and he slapped me. That was the very first time he laid his hands on me. I shrugged it off, thinking he was just drunk." Nathan took a drag from his cigarette, the ember glowing in the darkness. "Then a year later, I don't know what he said to my dad and sister, but they cut me off completely. I haven't spoken to them since. That's when the beating started to get worse. From slaps to punches to kicks to... to full-blown assaults."

Trevor felt like someone had kicked him in the chest, but he forced himself to stay silent and listen.

"There were times when it was too painful for me to move my limbs, and he would have his way with me. That's why I needed that goddamn tea." Nathan's voice remained steady, matter-of-fact, as if he were reciting medical symptoms rather than describing years of torture.

Trevor was screaming inside, his hands clenching into fists, but he kept listening.

"I let that happen for the next five years, thinking I deserved it. For not being quiet enough, for not being obedient enough. God, I was so fucking stupid." Nathan's voice cracked slightly for the first time. "Until I was brought here and started seeing things clearer. He ruined me... but I ended his life, and I can't find it in myself to feel guilty."

Nathan finally turned to look at Trevor, who was holding back tears and fighting every instinct to rage against the dead man who'd done this.

"Does that make me worse than him?" Nathan asked, his voice vulnerable despite the stoic way he'd delivered his confession. He was baring his soul to Trevor, essentially asking: Can you still love me with all my damage?

Trevor shook his head immediately. "No. You defended yourself."

Trevor gently wrapped his arms around Nathan, kissing the top of his head as a tear rolled down his cheek. Nathan rested his head against Trevor's chest, finally allowing himself to be held.

"No one will ever hurt you as long as I'm around. You hear me?" Trevor whispered into Nathan's hair.

"I trust you, Trev." Nathan said quietly, and those words carried the weight of everything he'd survived and everything he was choosing to believe in despite it all.