The Rain

~Beauty~

I was sitting in my living room, confused and worried. He was still in my room and to be honest, I felt as if I had made a big mistake. Whatever happened between us was unexplainable. I doubted myself for being jealous earlier, but why was I so jealous? Why did it bother me so much that I ended up picking a fight with him? Why did he kiss me? Why did I kiss him back? All these questions were storming my mind.

My head started aching with the dilemma I was in. It was tough for me to accept the fact that I had started liking him. It was more than a crush or infatuation. But how could I like another man when I was engaged to someone? 

I heard the door of my room open and I got alerted. I didn't know what he would say or do once he was out. But when he showed up in the light, he looked normal. I kept watching him intently as he walked to the couch and sat next to me. 

"Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly. It was weird since we had done something indecent a while ago. 

"Hmm, I'm okay now," he said in a low voice stealing glances at me. 

I got him some water while he chose to remain quiet. There was an awkward silence in the air and none of us were speaking. I didn't want to pressurize him to speak.

"I have trouble regulating my emotions," he finally spoke.

I looked at him with a frown since I didn't understand what he meant. He seemed to be a bit hesitant in telling me. 

"Can you be more specific?" I asked. 

"Umm," he said gulping in. "I can't handle extreme emotions like sadness, excitement, happiness, anger, or love," 

"What happens to you exactly?" I tried to clarify.

"My feelings get out of my control and reach an extreme which could be dangerous," he explained.

"So... does it happen due to the rain?" 

"It's severe for sometime after it rains but it's always there more or less," he said with a disappointed look. 

"But didn't you say you become emotionless during that time?" I asked.

He took a deep breath as if he was trying to overcome his impulses.

"What do you tell a man who can't control his drinking habit? You tell him not to drink, right?" He said.

I thought about it for a while and slowly started to understand. 

"So, your extreme emotions get severely triggered after it rains, that is why you have trained yourself not to have any kind of feelings at all. Right?" I asked. 

"Yes," he nodded. "I got rid of all emotions so that it was easier for me to handle rainy days," he continued, "Slowly, being emotionless became a part of my life," he faked a smile. 

"What happens otherwise?" I asked. 

"You saw what happened that night with Ji Hun? I was about to kill him because I was so angry that he tried to harm you," he said with embarrassment. 

He was right and I had seen him that night. He looked like a real beast who didn't care about anything. I could imagine why he tried to keep himself away from such feelings. But it was sad that he had become like that because of his condition. There must have been a way out of that problem but he was still struggling with it every day. 

"Look at this," he suddenly shifted closer to me and held my face. "I hurt you because I couldn't control my impulses," he said touching the wound I had on my lip. 

"It's okay," I said holding his hands. He immediately took them away when he realized he was too close. 

"I was living just fine, but these days, things are not the same anymore," he said sounding worried. I understood that I was the reason why he was getting his emotions back. I was confused if that was a good thing or a bad thing. But he couldn't hold back his feelings in front of me and it bothered him. 

"Were you always like this?" I asked. 

"No, but I don't want to discuss any further," he said looking away. 

"Okay, fine..." I didn't want to force anything on him. "So what now?" I asked. 

He thought for a while and then looked back at me. 

"Whatever happened tonight," he said clearing his throat. 

It was a bit uncomfortable for both of us to imagine that. But he was determined to talk it out.

"It wasn't a mistake for me, I wanted to kiss you and I did," he said with his voice breaking. He looked nervous.

"Um... me too, even in the rose garden," I said looking in the other direction. Since he was being honest with me, I had to do the same. But he didn't know that it was the first time I had even accepted that to myself.

"We indeed are attracted to each other, but -" he hesitated in speaking further. 

"But?" I asked reading his face. 

"But ask yourself, Boyoung... how much do you know about me? you have only seen the stronger side of me. But what will happen when you see the weaker side? what will happen when you see the extreme side? Would you still have feelings for me?" he asked earnestly. 

I kept quiet because I didn't have a straightforward answer to that. We had not spent enough time with each other to know if what we felt was real or not. Moreover, I had never invested time in thinking about whether I had a future with him. 

"We cannot be in a relationship, Boyoung. You are engaged and what we are doing is wrong!" he said looking extremely stressed. 

I wanted to argue with him, but technically he wasn't wrong. He didn't know what relationship I had with my fiance. Neither did he know under what circumstances I got engaged. But still, he was a man of principles and he was not happy with where we were going. 

"Look," he said holding my hand. "what will you do if we take this forward? Will you break your engagement before that? Do you know me enough to take that decision?" he asked. 

I didn't say anything. He made more sense than he had ever done before. It was the sad truth of my life. I would have broken my engagement even before I met Inguk-sshi. But it wasn't in my hands. I might sound stupid but I couldn't risk disappointing my father. 

"What about you?" I asked. I wanted to know what he felt about me. "What do you want?" 

He sighed and paused for a while. 

"I want nothing. This will take us nowhere," he said. "We shouldn't start something which will only end in pain and remorse," 

I nodded. He was probably right. If I was sure that I couldn't break my engagement under any circumstances, then it made no sense to have feelings for him and end up being heartbroken. 

"We should move on from this like mature people," He said and got up. He sighed and walked towards the door. 

"Inguk-sshi, wait, let me get my bag," I said. 

He turned around and raised his brow.

"You don't have to come, I'll get your things delivered here," he said. 

"What?" I got nervous. As much as I found his talks about moving on meaningful, it was uncomfortable to think that I had to stay away from him all of a sudden. 

"Yes, don't worry about the deal anymore," he said turning towards the door. 

"Wait!" I said and rushed towards him, "Didn't you say we should move on?" I said turning him to face me. "If you let what happened today affect our deal, then it would mean we aren't moving on,"

He watched me as if he was confused about whether I was making sense or was it just an excuse. If you ask me, even I can't tell what it was. 

"What do you want then?" he asked. 

"Let things go the way they were going," I demanded. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, if both of us are moving on then there's nothing to worry about, right?" 

He looked worried but he still agreed. I was relieved that I didn't have to stay away from him. At least we were together until I grew the blue rose for him. 

On the way back to his castle, I kept wondering what kind of feelings I had for him. Was it a crush, an infatuation, an attraction, or something else? But I was sure about one thing. I liked him and I cared for him. No matter how many times I looked at him and tried to deny it, I couldn't do it. Even if I didn't know all about him, I still liked him. I was making excuses to continue staying with him and he was agreeing to it. We had to move on but we were delaying it. 

~ Beast ~ 

I am still angry at myself for losing control last night. How could I react that way without thinking? No matter how much I wanted to do it, I shouldn't have done it. I ended up hurting her and I have no idea what else I could have done if I hadn't stopped.

I knew things would get out of my hands if I started having feelings for anyone. It's tough for me to figure out where to stop and how to keep them under control. After years of struggle, I was finally able to live without emotions. But she was making all my efforts go in vain. 

In the afternoon we were working in the garden where she showed me her rose pot. She had successfully panted the root and was waiting for the rose to bloom. But it wasn't happening anytime soon. I was afraid of how I would keep myself from falling for her if she stayed close to me all the time. If I fell for her, I'd have no control over my impulses. 

She had a bright smile on her face as if nothing had happened the night before. I could still see that her lips were swollen and there was a cut on her lower lip. I had a tough time figuring out what she was talking about. I kept thinking that it wasn't the right way to kiss a girl and she might have been so angry at me. It was the first time I ever kissed someone so I didn't know I'd do that. 

"Inguk-sshi? are you listening to me?" she asked a little louder and I realized that I hadn't been paying attention. 

"Ah, sorry... what?" I asked. 

"I said if you want I can help you with your tulips too," she said. 

"Umm, sure you can... I mean, you have good knowledge of gardening," I remarked.

She smiled proudly and I unknowingly smiled back at her. I accept that I felt my head spinning whenever I looked at her. My heart fluttered every time she smiled. I tried to deny it many times but I knew that I liked her. I wanted to be around her all the time because she made me happy. As expected, I don't know how to control these feelings, so I craved for her every second.

~ Beauty ~ 

I was with him in the garden. He seemed lost in something while I was showing him my blue rose pot. I even told him what all I learned about gardening and my interest in tulips. But he was distracted. I tried to get his attention and he replied but I could tell he was still thinking about something else.

I hoped he wasn't judging me for acting like a desperate person last night. To be honest, I kept thinking about how we fought and how evident it was that I was jealous. But I couldn't forget that we kissed. As impossible as it sounds it was the second time I ever kissed a man in my life. The first was in the blue rose garden.

I was aware that my lips were still swollen and whenever I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see the wound on my lower lip. I might be crazy but I liked it. It felt as if he had left his mark on me. 

"Did you study Botany in college?" he asked which got me out of my thoughts. 

"Ah, no... gardening is just my hobby," I said. 

"Nice," he nodded. 

"Check this dairy, it's very useful," I said handing him the diary I used to refer to. 

He took it and went through it critically. 

"This is an old diary, is this yours?" he asked. 

"Ah, no... my friend gave it to me in school," I told. 

"Your friend?" he asked raising his brow. 

"Yes, he was a new kid, very quiet and polite but he had a thing for gardening back then," I informed. 

"Well, his notes are not bad, I am impressed," he smiled. 

"Isn't it? I met him very few times since he was my senior... I want to meet him again," I said. 

"Huh," he chuckled, "you must have liked him a lot to keep his diary with you for so long," he said. 

"Woah don't tell me that you're jealous!" I said rolling my eyes. "I am sure he was better than you,"

"Jealous?" he laughed. "That's your department," 

"Ya!" I glared at him. 

I spent the rest of the day learning more things about how he maintained his garden. It wasn't an easy task and required most of his time. That is why he couldn't attend office much. But I was stunned how he was managing so many things together, and that too very efficiently. I suspected that it was because he had diverted his entire energy towards the things which kept him busy since he got rid of all the strong emotions in his life which might have distracted him. 

The next day was hectic. In the morning I had to pack my bag since we were leaving for Jeju. The promotional video was supposed to be shot there. I was running late so I quickly got dressed into a casual yellow crop top and jeans. I had some work in the office so I went there before going to the airport. 

When I reached the airport, most of the staff was present. But Inguk-shhi was nowhere to be seen. The worst part was that I had to handle Daeiji. She lied to all of us that Inguk-sshi asked her to take part in the video. The truth was that she had used her sources in the advertising team of the AER group to get the role. I couldn't believe how low she could stoop just to get attention. 

Anyway, I didn't want to create a conspiracy by getting her removed so I told Inguk-sshi to continue the video with her. But I doubted if I'd be able to bear seeing her with him in the video. 

"Boyoung, " I heard a familiar voice and turned around. 

"Soohyun-sshi?" I asked with my eyes wide. I wasn't expecting him there. 

"Hi," he said waving his hand at me. 

"Hi, but what are you doing here?" I asked. 

"He's with me," I heard a heavier voice as Inguk-sshi appeared from behind. 

"But you already recorded the song didn't you?" I asked him. 

"I did, but I wanted him to come with me," he replied. 

"Ah, I think you two got along well," I said smiling at both of them. 

~ Beast  ~ 

We took the flight to Jeju for the shoot. I had never done something like that before but I was happy that I was going there with Boyoung and my new friend Soohyun. A lot of things in my life had changed over the past few months. I had recorded a song, I was going to feature in a fictional video, I had a human whom I called a friend, and there was a girl I liked.

The only thing I did not like about the shoot was Daeji. She was annoying to the point that I wanted to fire her. But I couldn't do it without a proper reason. A couple of hours after we landed on Jeju, I was told to get ready. They had set up a temporary room for me to get ready near the beach.

My attire was designed by Boyoung, so she was there to check everything. I wore my pants which were made with the fabric we were going to advertise. It fit me perfectly and had the color of graphite. I slipped into a cotton white shirt, but the buttons were missing. It was weird because I had to walk out of the changing area with my chest wide open. 

I was hesitant because so many stylists were there, but they didn't seem to bother. As soon as I walked out they started working on me as if I was just a prop. 

"Someone get the buttons, please," Boyoung instructed one of her helpers. She was extremely focused on what I was wearing and how it fit me. She came to me and joined the flaps of my shirt to check how it would look once the buttons were on. 

"Hmm, it will work," she said moving her hand on my waist to check if the shirt was in shape.

 She took the buttons which her helper brought and started sewing them on my shirt immediately. Some strands of her hair were falling on my chest and tickling me. Her fingers brushed against my skin and I flinched. 

"Inguk-shhi...stay still," she said sternly. I was astonished at how strict she was when it came to her department. 

 "I'm sorry," I apologized and looked away. It wasn't easy to stay calm when she was so close and I could smell the freshness of lilies coming out of her. Her touch was already making me restless and then she suddenly leaned towards my chest and brought her mouth close to it. My breathing almost stopped and I was startled at what she was doing. 

"Boyoung," I objected thinking she might not be in her senses. But I realized that she wanted to cut the thread with which she was sewing the buttons. So she did it with her teeth. 

"What?" she asked looking up at me. 

"Err... Nothing, continue," I said. 

She finished her work quickly but didn't put buttons on a generous part under my neck. I felt that wasn't right because that's not how formals worked. She gave me a blazer to put on top of it. 

"You need to put more buttons, where would the tie go?" I asked. 

"It's not a meeting look, Inguk-sshi," she chuckled. "I have kept it informal, you need no tie and I need that collarbone to show," 

"What?" I frowned. 

"Ah," she rolled her eyes, "When I design clothes for someone I make sure it highlights their assets," she said with a shrug. 

"Hah!" I faked a laugh, "stop flirting with me," I teased.

"I'm not!" she objected but I giggled. "Ya! Inguk-ssi, I am not!" she said. 

The stylists came in to interrupt our conversation which I did not like but there was no other option. I put the blazer on and started getting ready. 

~ Beauty ~ 

I was walking out of the changing room to let him get ready when I overheard my team members mumbling something. 

"She calls the Beast by his name," said one of them. 

"I know right," said another. 

I did not react to those comments and pretended I didn't hear them but I kept wondering what was the big deal to call him by his name. I was worried if they were going to doubt that I was closer to him than others. But it wasn't a bad idea to let them know either.

I went to the other room to check Daeji's attire but I kept thinking about Inguk-sshi. I didn't want to see him propose to Daeji even if it was on screen. But what else could I do? I tried to wrap up the work as soon as possible. 

After some time I reached the shoot location and waited. I enjoyed the cold breeze on the beach. It was a beautiful place. I could look at the water forever. I loved how the waves hit the shore. I loved the sound it made. It was soothing for me.

"Enjoying the view?" I heard a voice and I knew it was him. I turned around and smiled. 

He looked very fine as always. 

"Yes, are you ready?" I asked. 

"Yes," he said with a smile. 

"Oh, by the way, do you not allow anyone to call you by your name?" I asked since I was curious. 

"Why do you ask?" 

"My teammates were talking about it, as if it was a big deal," I explained. 

"Umm, most of them are scared of me so they prefer calling me Beast. I never denied anyone to call me by my name," he shrugged. 

"Hmm, but I want to call you something different from others," I said. 

He smiled at me and I didn't realize that I had started becoming possessive about him until I heard another voice call him the same. 

"Inguk-sshi," I heard and turned around. It was Daeji. 

He looked disgusted when she called him that and came towards us. I gritted my teeth in anger. I guessed that my teammates might have discussed that with her so she was trying to copy me. 

"Are you ready Inguk-sshi," she said standing next to him as if he was her property? I saw the discomfort in his eyes as he shifted away from her. 

"Y-yes," he said. 

That girl was getting on my nerves. I swear I could have killed her with my eyes if I had the option. I was controlling myself but then she suddenly held his arm. 

"Let's go then," she said. 

I didn't think twice and grabbed his other arm. 

"Wait," I said staring at Daeji. She was confused. "We are discussing something important right now so he will join you later," I said sternly. 

"Boyoung..." Inguk-sshi tried to calm me down since he might have seen the rage in my eyes. 

"Is it okay with you," I darted my eyes at him and forced a smile, "Oppa?" I played my card. 

His eyes widened and he watched me in shock. I was surprised as well since I called him that all of a sudden but I couldn't take it back. It was an impulsive decision because I wanted to get back at Daeji! 

"Fine," she said with an annoyed look and walked away. 

I looked at Inguk-sshi and he was still shocked. I realized I was holding his arm and immediately let go of him. 

"Umm, I - " I tried to say something but I couldn't think of anything. 

"What did you call me?" he asked inquisitively. 

I was embarrassed to repeat it so I looked away. 

"I just, umm... I was just annoyed at Daeji!" I whined. 

I thought he would be angry at me but he started laughing. The same heartfelt laugh that I loved. I looked at him and chuckled. 

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just that nobody has ever called me that before," he said. 

"Okay, I'm sorry if you-" 

"No, you sounded very sweet," he said politely. "I liked it,"

"You did?" I asked studying his face. I could see that he was blushing.

"Yes," he replied. 

I pursed my lips and felt my cheeks getting warm. Sometimes he was very straightforward and I liked that about him.

"Call me that often..." he said gulping in. He was nervous but extremely happy as well. 

"Are you serious?" I tried to confirm. 

"Yes, it..." he shuddered out of excitement. "it makes me happy," he said grinning. I could see that he was restless because he felt elated. 

I understood what he meant when he said he cannot control his emotions. It applied to good emotions too. He looked flustered and edgy. He was almost like a newborn who didn't know when to stop or how to hide his inner feelings. I felt as if he was having a panic attack. 

"Ah, relax, let's go to the shoot okay?" I said holding his hand. 

"Okay," he said catching his breath. I was sure that he knew he was losing control but he couldn't help it.

~ Beast ~ 

I kept thinking about how she called me 'Oppa'. I couldn't help but blush. It felt as if I was floating in the air. Dealing with those emotions was not easy for me because of my condition. 

It was years ago when I was diagnosed with Emotional dysregulation. I would cry all day if I was sad. I would laugh and smile all day if I was happy. But things would get serious if I was angry. I would break things or hit someone or harm myself. Nothing was in my control. It was then that I started taking medicines and trying to suppress any type of strong emotions. I succeeded well over the years but it had some side effects. All my senses became extremely active, more than a normal person's. But I couldn't feel pain no matter what. I became so devoid of feelings that I didn't care much about others, I was driven by logic all the time. 

But somehow, none of it worked with Boyoung. Ever since she came into my life, I started feeling every emotion that I had suppressed. Happiness, jealousy, anger, and maybe something else too. But again, I couldn't deal with it like a normal person. My reactions were extreme. Sometimes I could control it luckily but not always.

Even when the shoot was going on, her voice was ringing in my head. 

"Oppa," was all I could think about. It was so strange that I was acting like a kid obsessed with a toy. I didn't focus much on the shoot. It was supposed to be a short clip for which I gave some close-up shots where I had to smile. They were lucky since I was so happy that it didn't take much effort for me to do that. I finished the proposal clip in one take because I didn't want to do it again with Daeji.

They didn't play the song which I recorded because they wanted to keep it a surprise. When the shoot got over, Boyoung was curious about it. 

"I want to listen to it, please," she requested. 

"I don't have the recording with me," I replied. 

She sighed and made a grumpy face. She was very cute. 

"Okay, I'll go and ask your best friend if he could help, bye... Oppa," she chuckled as she hopped away. 

I wanted to stop her, but those happy emotions came rushing back to me. I knew I was smiling like an idiot so I thought it was better to go somewhere and hide my face. 

~ Beauty ~ 

After trying my best to get the song recording from Soohyun-sshi or someone else from the team, I failed miserably and got back to my room. I collapsed on the bed because I was tired after a long day. It wasn't a bad day actually. I had never seen Inguk-sshi blush before. That too just because I called him Oppa! I smiled like a fool thinking about him as I was lying on my bed. 

I thought it wasn't a bad idea though. I should call him that more often, as he said. I felt a sudden urge to talk to him. It was frustrating because I couldn't freely walk into his room in the hotel. I took my cellphone and called him, but his phone was unreachable. 

There could have been any reason for it, but I got worried. The feeling of not being able to contact him as and when I wanted was disturbing. It was funny how I was almost obsessed with him. 

I got up and went to his room, but it was locked. I checked with Soohyun-sshi and he informed me that 'Oppa' wanted to spend some time alone in the woods. Even after knowing that he wanted to be alone, I was worried for him. It wasn't safe for him to stay out so late in the night that too in the woods. So I went out to look for him. I knew he wouldn't have gone too far. I made sure I had my cellphone with me and I kept track of the path I took. 

Surprisingly I didn't find him for a long time. I was about to give up before I noticed smoke coming out from a distance. I carefully went to check it from behind the bushes. Thankfully it was him. He had set up a small tent and protected it with a plastic shed on top. He was sitting out with a bonfire in front of him. I hid behind a tree and watched him quietly because I didn't want to disturb him. I just wanted to make sure he was alright. 

"Are you going to hide there all night?" he said without looking in my direction. 

It took me a few seconds to realize that he was talking to me. I thought I would just run away since I was caught stalking him but he looked at me and smiled. 

"I know it's you Boyoung," he said. 

I hesitantly got out of my hiding and went towards him. 

"How did you know?" I asked. 

"My senses are stronger than others, I could hear you when you came here and you always smell of lilies," he said. 

"Oh," I said pursing my lips. He was supernatural in many ways. 

"Come, sit here," he offered. 

"Aah, no you wanted to be alone, I don't want to disturb you," I said. 

He sighed and got up. I took a few steps back as he approached me. I didn't want to do anything wrong again, since we were alone. 

"Come, let's collect some woods before the fire goes out," he said. 

"Okay," I followed. 

He appeared to be very relaxed that night. I felt his rain spell was over. He was still in the same shirt and pants that I had designed for the shoot. He only took his blazer off. I was proud of myself for making something that highlighted his muscles well. Don't take it the wrong way, that's just my job. 

I mostly walked behind him as he collected the woods. I felt tired because I had walked a long way to find him already. While he was busy looking for dry wood, I stopped near a tree and sat on the ground. 

"I'm going to rest a little," I said and leaned on the tree. 

"Sure," he said, still busy with his work but he stayed close by. 

"Umm, by the way," I called out to him, "Oppa..." I chuckled. 

"What," he replied blushing. 

"Can you sing the song for me? The one you prepared?" I asked.

He stopped and thought for a while, I thought he'd agree to it but he shook his head. I was annoyed since my 'Oppa' card didn't work as well. 

I wanted to argue with him, but I suddenly felt a strange sensation on my back. I got up and checked my clothes but there was nothing. 

"What happened?" he said coming towards me. 

"I don't know, my back is itching I suppose," I said panicking. I couldn't reach my hand at the back but the itch was slowly increasing. 

"Huh, you sat against that tree, right? There are poisonous algae on it couldn't you see?" he scolded me.

"Ya! How would I know, I'm not as expert as you! What do I do now?" I shouted. I was feeling more and more uncomfortable. 

"Okay, don't panic, just go back to the tent, I will get some mint to cure it," he said. "And don't scratch or else it will increase," 

I nodded and rushed back into the tent. It made me very anxious because I didn't know what sort of allergy I'd get from the poisonous algae. I didn't want to cause him any trouble but he was the only one who could help me at that time. I couldn't understand how I always fell into some trouble when he was around. 

I started shivering since the itching got worse and my skin burned as if it was on fire. I was praying that it wasn't fatal. 

"May I come in?" I heard his voice. 

"YES!" I replied urgently. 

He came inside the tent. It had enough space for the two of us. I saw that he was carrying a bowl of water with him. 

"Is it getting worse?" he asked. 

"Kind of... " I said anxiously. 

He kept the bowl on one side and took out a small towel from his bag.

"I've mixed mint leaves in warm water," he said. 

"So, do I need to drink it?" my mind wasn't working since I was scared. 

"No!" he chuckled. "Umm, we need to wash your back with it," he said. 

"Oh, I see," I bit my lip.

It occurred to me after a few seconds that I couldn't do it on my own so he had to do it for me. That's when I felt my head spinning. He looked nervous too as he put the towel in the bowl and soaked it with mint water. 

"Turn around," he said looking away. There was an awkward silence for some time. I didn't move at all and kept thinking about what to do. I wasn't uncomfortable but nervous. 

He flinched a little and probably got tired of waiting so he took out a piece of cloth from his bag. He tied it across his eyes in a blindfold and sighed. 

"I won't look, fine?" he sounded annoyed but I could tell that he was concerned about my comfort. 

"Okay," I chuckled and turned around. 

I had almost forgotten about the burning sensations on my back for those few seconds but it was still bothering me.

"Let me know when you are ready," he said. 

I held the edges of my top and pulled it up. Even if he was having a blindfold on, I was falling short of breath just imagining what I was doing. As I removed my top, I wondered how I ended up in that situation all of a sudden. For some reason, such things always escalated quickly between us. 

I felt cold since I only had my bra on. There was a thin blanket in front of me so I pulled it open and held it close to my chest. 

"I'm ready," I said gulping in. 

He didn't say anything and immediately started applying the wet towel to my back. I shivered a little but soon got used to it. The warm water and mint were actually working well to ease the itching and burning sensations. I didn't even know when I started enjoying it. I was tired anyway, and a warm water massage on the back was not a bad idea. 

"I'm so relieved," I said. But he didn't reply. 

I tilted my head and realized that he was having a hard time figuring out the bowl of water, wetting the towel, and then applying it to my back while being blindfolded. He kept his other hand away and made sure he didn't touch my back directly. I was amazed at how careful he was. 

"Oppa," I said, "are you sure you can manage the blindfold?" 

"Yes, I'm fine. Is it still burning?" he asked. 

"It's going away slowly," I said. 

He smiled and continued what he was doing. I kept my head turned so that I could see him. He was so gentle and kind. I knew that he cared for me. Nobody else in the world knew that side of him. For them, he was a beast who thought of no one else but himself. But for me, he was different. 

I noticed that he couldn't see the bra strap on my back, so he was moving the wet towel over it and the strap was getting wet. It wasn't a big deal, but as usual, I had lost my mind since he was there in front of me. I didn't know what got into me all of a sudden.

"Wait," I said. 

"Hmm?" he whispered softly. 

I didn't know what I was doing, I just followed my instincts. He looked so serene and gentle that I felt he was pulling me towards him. He was so considerate about me, trying his best not to look at me or touch me. But suddenly, I felt as if that was what I wanted. It was shocking how weak and lustful I became whenever he was near me, but I couldn't help it. 

My mind wasn't working so I held the blanket tightly on my chest and turned around to face him. He couldn't see what I was doing so he didn't move but I could see a frown on his face. He might have sensed my closeness. 

"You're not the only one who can't control yourself these days," I said in a low voice and I swear it came from my subconscious mind since I wasn't thinking straight. 

He gasped nervously and tried to move back but before he could do that, I leaned and pecked him on the lips. 

He gritted his teeth and pursed his lips immediately.

"Boyoung!" he objected. But I didn't stop there. 

I was hypnotized as always. I moved my hand to his face and grabbed the blindfold. 

"Wait," he tried to stop me, but he couldn't use his hands since he didn't know where they might land. 

I was scared to the core about what I was doing but I did it anyway. I knew I would regret doing it later, but I had no control over myself when it came to him. 

I slowly pulled the cloth down, uncovering his eyes. He had kept them shut. 

"What are you doing?" he asked helplessly as I dropped the blindfold. 

I had no answer to that. But I knew what I wanted him to do. 

"Open your eyes," I demanded as if it was his duty to follow what I said.

"I won't, you are out of your mind," he said clenching his jaws. 

"I'm asking because you're not doing it properly," I said. 

He thought for a while and slowly opened his eyes. Even if I had covered my chest with the blanket, he didn't look down or move his eyes away from my face. 

I sighed and turned my back on him again. I checked from the corner of my eye if he was watching me. He was looking in front but I knew he couldn't miss my bare back. 

"Do it now," I said as I took all my hair to one side and reached for the hook on my strap at the back. I popped it open and let them hang loose, leaving my back completely bare.

 I heard him sigh as I did that. I felt out of breath too. I was nervously anticipating what exactly would he do.

He took the wet towel and put it on me again. I winced because I knew he was watching me this time. How I gripped the blanket on my chest was the only way my garment was intact. I never knew that I'd be making such a move just because I wanted him to see me like that.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asked hesitantly. He probably wanted to get over with it before I pulled another stunt. 

"No," I lied and he knew I was lying. 

He still soaked the towel again and rubbed it gently on my back. Even if he knew I was fine by that time, he did it just because I wanted him to. 

I unknowingly shifted back, closer to him. He didn't resist. I was soon leaning my back on his chest and I didn't even feel anything wrong with it. 

When he realized I had filled the gap between us, he kept the towel aside and wrapped his arms around me on top of the blanket which I was holding over my chest. He rested his hands on top of mine.

"Boyoung, what is wrong with you," he asked very politely as if he was tired of being strict with me. "Why are you doing this?"

I cuddled in his embrace and rested the back of my head on his chest. He placed his chin on my head.

"I don't know, you're so warm," I said closing my eyes. The moment he hugged me from the back, I forgot about my indecent desires and felt like resting in his arms instead.

"Hmm," he whispered and kissed me on the head. "We can stay like this for a while if you want," he said. 

I don't know what sort of understanding existed at that moment between us. But I felt very comfortable and relaxed. He could have easily done something and I wouldn't have objected, but he chose to hug me. I was already tired so I soon dozed off. 

~ Beast ~ 

I kept watching her as she slept. I knew she wanted to be closer to me. But I couldn't let her come too close. Or maybe it was too late for that. I wanted to tell her that I liked her enough not to give in to my physical attraction so easily. It was tough to control myself but I was trying my best just because I liked her so much. 

She was still holding the blanket tightly on her chest when she opened her eyes. The sun was also about to come up. She got up and looked around trying to recall what happened. 

"Feeling better now?" I asked. 

"Ah, yes - " she said hesitantly. 

I freed her from my grasp and she shifted away. The first thing I did was to hold the ends of her strap and hook it back. I knew she would have had a tough time doing that on her own in front of me. 

"Umm, thanks," she said, obviously a little embarrassed at her actions. But she wasn't sorry for it. Neither was I. 

"I'll wait for you outside," I said and she nodded. 

I lit up the bonfire while I waited for her. She came out after some time and sat next to me. 

"Huh, it's so warm here, thanks," she said. 

"Hmm," I nodded. 

"By the way, Oppa..." she said, which made me feel good again. "... I know that day you said we should move on," 

"We have to," I said sternly.

She didn't like that. Her face lost its color. 

"But, isn't there another way? What if I can't move on?" she asked. 

"There's no other way, you are engaged," I reminded her. 

"Huh, but what about you!"

"It doesn't matter as long as you are engaged," I said. 

"Fine. What if I break my engagement?" she asked. 

I was scared. I didn't want her to regret her decision later. I didn't want to be the reason for her misery. 

"We don't have a future," I got up and started walking away. 

"Why?" she shouted and followed me. 

"Boyoung please," I stopped and faced her. "You can have a normal life with a normal man! Why do you want to live with a beast?" 

"You're not a beast," she said

"You know nothing about me, what will you do? Handle my mood swings?" I laughed at my misery. 

"Do you feel nothing for me? Don't you trust me?" she asked with moist eyes. 

I couldn't tell her. I didn't want her to ruin her life by falling for a man like me. She got angrier when I did not reply. 

"I don't understand what your problem is!" she shouted at me.

"You can never understand it so better keep your nose out of it," I argued. I tried to be rude so that she stopped asking.

"Fine. I won't ask you anything. But you know what I think, you are just making excuses! I don't think you have any real problem," she said.

"What did you say?" I objected.

"Yes, all that rain thing is just a fictional story of yours!" she said "You are just afraid of commitments!" she shouted.

I wanted to say something but I heard a clap of thunder. My mind stopped working. I wasn't prepared for it.

"I need to go home," I panicked.

"Great. Go home if you want then! But don't ever talk to me," she said before walking away.

"Boyoung where are you going?" I tried to stop her but she kept walking away. 

My legs started shivering as I saw the clouds gather on top of me. I felt dizzy and choked. I couldn't breathe. I needed to hide but I was out in the open. I didn't know what to do. 

~ Beauty ~ 

I don't know why I was so angry at him. There was no way I could break my engagement but I still wanted him to tell me that he liked me and that we had a chance in the future. I was being absurd. But I wanted to know what he felt for me. What if I was just forcing myself on him? I didn't want that. 

I kept walking away in the woods in anger. I knew it was going to rain and he claimed that he was afraid of it, but I was so mad at him that I didn't bother. I assumed he was just making excuses to get rid of me. 

A sudden gust of wind blew as dark clouds gathered on top of me. I heard my cellphone ring at the same time and I saw that it was Soohyun-sshi. 

"Soohyun-sshi, I'm a little busy right now," I said. 

"Boyoung, it's about the kid you met in school," he said. 

I got altered since I had told him to do some research on the boy I met in school. The one who gave me the diary. He was important to me because I left school the same year that he joined so I couldn't thank him for introducing me to the world of plants. 

"Oh, did you find him?" I asked. 

"No, but I talked to one of his classmates who knew what happened to him before he joined your school," 

"What do you mean?" 

"Huh, it was tragic. At the age of 10, he was kidnapped," 

"WHAT! Oh God," 

"Yes, they held him captive and demanded ransom from his father. They killed his father later when he tried to contact the police," 

"Are you serious? He never talked about all that," I stammered. 

"The worst thing is that after they killed his father, they chained him to a tree trunk and left him there," 

"That's horrible,"   I felt very bad for him.

"It is said that he remained like that and starved, cried, and shouted for help but nobody could hear him. For seven days, he stayed like that while it rained day and night," 

"What?" my legs froze as a drop of rain fell on my face. "What did you say?" 

"Yes, it rained for 7 days continuously, he was almost dead when someone rescued him." 

I felt I couldn't move, my body was giving up as I started connecting the dots. 

"One of his classmates said that he was always quiet and stayed away from them," 

"But he still talked to me," I said with my eyes welling up, "because he wasn't the same person when he was with me," I choked on my words. 

"Boyoung, are you okay? Do you want me to search for him more?" he asked. 

"No, you don't have to do that anymore," I said cutting the call. 

The rain had started pouring and I panicked. I had made a blunder. I had left him alone in the rain when he needed me. I started running back towards the tent as fast as I could. 

I was crying since the thing I realized was frightful and alarming. I was cursing myself for giving in to my anger and leaving him alone. The rain was getting heavier with time and I was getting more anxious.

When I reached the area where the tent was, I couldn't find him outside. 

"Inguk-sshi," I shouted but there was no response. The sound of rain was severe. 

There was no other place to hide but the tent under the shed so I quickly went to check. As I opened the flaps of the tent and looked inside, I saw something which I never expected. 

He was curled up in a corner. He was grabbing his knees which were folded close to his chest. His body was shaking. His head was sunk between his knees and chest. 

"Inguk-sshi," I said in a low voice. 

He jerked and moved away, his body started shivering severely as if he was afraid of me. 

"I'm sorry," I said but he jerked even more. He appeared to be in trauma. 

How could I not know that he was the same boy I met years ago? Why did it take so long for me to know why he was afraid of the rain? I should have never doubted him, I should have never left him alone! 

"Inguk-sshi?" I called out again but he shuddered in terror.

As the rain got even heavier he kept his hands on his ear and shivered. 

"Stop!" he said, "Stop it," 

I needed to do something. I needed him to listen to me. I needed to help him. But he wasn't responding no matter what I said. He got even more scared instead. 

After a lot of struggle, I tried the last thing which I hoped would work. 

"Oppa?" I said. I recalled that he told me it sounded sweet to him. 

He stopped shivering and I took it as a positive sign.

"Oppa? Are you okay?" I asked holding his arm. 

He lifted his head and looked at me. He was crying.  I didn't think twice and immediately pulled him into a hug.

"It's okay, you're safe now," I said patting him on the back. 

"I'm sorry," he cried, "I'm sorry for being this way," he said. 

"No!" I said holding his head, "I'm sorry for leaving you alone, I'll never do that again, I promise," I said. 

He sunk his head in the crook of my neck and cried. 

~

Sneak Peek: 

"Our deal is not over yet, how can you just leave?" Inguk was burning with anger. 

"I need to, please try to understand," Boyoung begged him to understand. 

"No! I won't let you go," he objected. 

"Please Oppa, I need my engagement ring back," she requested.

***************A/N: Anneyong 🙂 A little heavy chapter and too long I know 😒 But we are in the middle of the story now ✌️ Hurray! 😅😆

Sorry for silly mistakes in the text. Sorry if something didn't make sense to you, ask me I'll clarify.

Now I'm waiting for your comments so that I can update the next chapter faster 🙂 what do you think will happen now? 🤔

Love you all ❤️ see you in the next chapter!

PS: just a reminder that the entire story is mature, it will be bit explicit in terms of what you're used to read in my stories 😅 read warning on chapter 1.