Part 1

I wonder how my life would be if I could stop being perfect?

The melodious sound of birds chirping in the garden reels me back from my dream land to reality."Good morning Miss Y/n." Hana walks in to my room & greets me with her cheerful sing-song-y voice as usual."I've prepared your clothes in the bathroom. Please take a shower whenever you're ready." She says to me as she slides open the thick jacquard curtain, revealing the bright sunny sky behind the drop down window.My eyes squint at the sudden burst of light, wishing that I could go back to sleep instead."Ahhh, it's a beautiful day today." She smiles at the sun."It is." I reply, although I've never given a damn about the weather. Because how ever nice the weather is, my life is still the same. Dark & gloomy."You have 30 minutes to get ready before breakfast with Kang sajangnim." She checks her watch & elusively urges me to hurry."네 (ne=yes).." I throw my feet off the plush king size bed & slip them into a pair of soft lambskin slippers.Like a robot, I do my morning routines efficiently & put on the outfit Hana has prepared for me. A long-sleeved white shirt, a loose black skirt hanging well below my knees, and a pair of black flats. Plain & modest, just like the rest of the content of my wardrobe.I fasten the buttons of my shirt from the bottom up. But just before I reach the last button, my fingers stop.Checking my reflection in the mirror, I decide to be a little bit daring today & leave the single button at the top unfastened, exposing my clavicles.The last thing I need to do is tying my long black hair into a tight pony tail. Not a strand of loose hair in sight."I'm ready." I walk out of the bathroom & say to Hana."You look beautiful today." The same exact thing she says every single day, which I never believe.Back straight, neck stiff, I walk down the winding marble stairs to the dining area where my father is waiting."Good morning Abeonim." I bow to my father, who is reading the newspaper while sipping his coffee, black without sugar, at the huge mahogany dining table.My father, Kang Jihwan or Kang sajangnim as most people call him, is the most prominent businessman in our hometown. He is also known as a generous philanthropist, a religious disciple, a charming man & the most eligible divorcee. He's got looks, fame, & fortune, and thus so many women desire to be his wife. And I, am the only child to such a remarkable man."Good morning my precious daughter. How-" He lifts his gaze from the newspaper & smiles, but the curve of lips gradually flattens as soon as he lays eyes on me."-are you this morning?" He finishes his question with a deadpan expression.Knowing exactly what made him react that way, I begin to feel uneasy & regret my decision earlier."I-I'm fine Abeonim." I nervously reply, not brave enough to meet his eyes."Hana ssi, you & the others may leave. I would like to have breakfast alone with my daughter." He turns to Hana, who immediately signals the servants to follow her out of the dining room."What is your schedule today?" He asks me while cutting the sunny-side-up on his porcelain plate with a knife."I have classes until 4 pm & then I need to attend the women's club summer charity ball at 7 pm. The event should end at around 10:30 pm." I answer, even though I'm sure he has already been informed of my schedule."Good. Make sure you bid & donate a lot." He nods.Both of us continue eating breakfast in silence."It was lovely talking to you this morning, Y/n. Now, I need to get going first." He places his utensils on the empty plate & rises from his seat.Is he going to let it slide? Why isn't he saying anything?A wave of relief washes over me as he begins to step further & further away from the table."Ah, I almost forgot." I hear his steps approaching from behind, making all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.He snakes his hands around my neck & fasten the top button of my shirt."I need to remind you to always be perfect, prim & proper, like I've taught you to. You are not a whore like your mother, are you?" He whispers in my ear, tone calm but not any less menacing."N-No, Abeonim." I vigorously shake my head."Good." He says as he pats the space where my clavicles peeked out earlier."I'll personally prepare the dress for tonight's charity ball for you. Wear it well & don't do anything that embarrasses me." With that, he truly leaves the room this time.I let out a long breath, which I don't even realize that I've been holding.God, until when do I have to live like this?I bite my lip to stop myself from crying & then inhale deeply before regaining my composure & continue eating my breakfast.

That is how my father treats me. Like a puppet that is completely controlled by him.My every gesture, every word, has to be approved by him. And I have to stay on my toes at all times, otherwise he'll find a way to punish or humiliate me.Never physically, but mentally.I've stopped fighting him a long time ago, because I know it's useless. He won't ever listen.I try to be thankful & convince myself that he does all this because he loves me, to prevent me from going down the same route as my mother, who ran away with his friend when I was still a toddler.Deep down, though, I crave for someone who can love me for who I am, who can make me feel alive. But with my father controlling my every move, I don't know if I'll ever meet that someone.

Later that eveningI stare at the black dress hanging on the rack in my closet with a flat expression. "Miss, sajangnim bought this himself. I-" Seemingly detecting my quiet displeasure, Hana begins to explain."I know. Please help me put it on." I say to her without taking my eyes off the dress.I slip my body into the heavy piece of garment, while Hana helps me zipping it at the back.My brows furrow in distaste once I see my own reflection in the mirror.The dress covers every inch of my skin, from my neck down to my toes. The monotone black color makes me look like a black widow in horror movies.I'd definitely stand out ridiculously in the crowd. This is probably Abeonim's way of punishing me for exposing my clavicles this morning."You look beautiful." Hana smiles at me after she's done tying up my hair in a sleek ponytail."Do you ever really mean it?" I sigh lowly."Pardon?""Never mind. Let's go." I nod at her through the mirror.

The charity ball is held at an outdoor garden by the beach. Almost all of the important people's wives & legally-aged daughters in this town are attending the ball.All eyes turn to me once I step into the venue with Hana tagging along behind me.How could they not? I'm the only one wearing a long black high-neck dress, while the others are wearing colorful slinky gowns."Good evening Y/n ah. You're eye-catching as usual." The mayor's wife approaches me with a saccharine smile on her lips."Thank you for your compliment Ma'am. You look stunning too." I return her smile & bow slightly at her."Please take a seat. The bidding is about to start." She signals me to sit at one of the front seats, which I readily obey.

The bidding starts & as my father instructed, I am being extra generous tonight.An hour into the event, Hana suddenly clicks her tongue & mumbles to herself as she looks at her phone."What's wrong?" I turn to her & ask."Uhm.. I have an urgent family matter that I need to attend to, but-" She whispers, obviously troubled.My heart instantly races in excitement.This is my chance."Then you should go." I tilt my head & say nonchalantly."But what about you? I can't leave you alone. Sajangnim will kill me." "Hana ssi, I'm 20 years old. I think I can take care of myself. Besides, no one will harm me here & the driver is waiting outside. I won't say a word to my father, so go take care of your urgent matter." I encourage her while trying not to sound too eager."Well.. Alright then. Thank you Miss. I'll see you tomorrow." Hana bows at me & immediately rises up from her seat.A sense of freedom & elation rises in my chest as I see her leaving the venue.Not wasting another second, I excuse myself & step towards the restroom. And when no one is looking, I take a detour & turn towards the beach.The beach is dark & quiet except for some flickering lights from nearby lampposts.I take off my high heels & walk closer to the water."Hahhh...." I inhale & exhale deeply as I stare at the cloudless sky.It's been a very long while since I last spent some time alone without anyone's supervision & I intend to enjoy every second of it."Are you trying to kill yourself?" My head jerks towards the source of the foreign husky voice.A tall slender guy before me with both hands in his pocket, his thick curly hair dancing in the night breeze. I can't clearly see his face in the dim light, but I can see that one side of his neck is covered with tattoos."No.." I gulp my saliva in fear, but for an unknown reason I choose to stay.Then, he steps closer & I immediately recognize him.Kim Taehyung.The town's popular tattoo artist & infamous lover.I've heard countless rumors about him. People say that once you've been touched by him, you will never be satisfied with other men. Many girls from my university are obsessed with him, going to his tattoo shop almost everyday to steal a glimpse of him. Some even go as far as getting their bodies tattooed multiple times so that they can be close to him."Ahhh, it's you. The virgin." He smirks, apparently recognizing me as well."Is that what people call me?" I frown at the nickname. It's true that I'm still a virgin, but somehow it hurts hearing other people mocking me because of that."That's what my customers call you." He shrugs as he positions himself beside me & focuses his gaze on the rolling waves.A whiff of burnt tobacco hits my nose when he lights up a cigarette."Do you want some?" He offers me his pack."No, thank you." I put up my palms & decline.We stand side by side watching the ocean without saying a word.I secretly observe him. He looks extremely handsome up close with his dark hooded eyes, straight nose, & sharp jawlines.No wonder girls are crazy about him.My fear of him has dissipated, replaced by an unexplainable longing.I guess I'm not immune to his good looks."Are you done?" He suddenly asks."Sorry?" His question snaps me out of my daze."Are you done staring?" He turns to me & looks straight at me with his piercing gaze.I quickly lower my head to hide my red hot cheeks."So is it true what people say about you? That you're a virgin?" He blatantly asks."How dare you?! I don't want to answer that." I gasp in shock at his question & turn to leave, but he grabs my wrist to stop me."I'm sorry. I stepped out of line. Please stay." His simple touch burns the delicate skin on my wrist, sending shivers down my spine. He slowly releases his grip & I immediately miss his warmth.I step back to his side & we stay quiet again for a few minutes."It's true." I mutter."What?" He turns to me."I'm a virgin." I don't know why I told him that. Maybe it's because he's a stranger from a different world than mine. Or maybe because my foolish lust has gotten the best of me.He stares at me with an unreadable expression, making me feel extremely awkward."Why aren't you saying anything?" I swiftly avert my gaze in embarrassment."That's a good thing actually. I respect your decision to save yourself for someone special." He replies."It's not even my decision to make." "What do you mean?""My father controls my every move. I can't even breathe if he tells me not to. And have you seen how he dresses me? Nobody would want a weird & ugly girl like me." I scoff as I glide the back of my hands over my heavy black dress."You're not ugly. You're beautiful.""Stop being nice. I don't need your pity." "I'm not saying this out of pity."He moves closer & pulls the hairband that holds my long hair together, causing it to cascade over my back & shoulders.His intense gaze melts me into a puddle, making me go weak at the knees. "Maybe you can't see what I see, but trust me when I say that you ARE beautiful." He says as he gently slides a finger over my cheek.I can't believe I let a stranger did that to me. Abeonim would be extremely furious if he saw me right now.And he would definitely die of heart attack if he listened to my following statement."If you do think that I am beautiful, please help me lose my virginity." Probably, it's because I'm fed up living like a soulless doll, so I've given the devil an opportunity to take over me. Those words slip smoothly out of my lips just like that.You're a whore just like your mother.My father's voice echoes in my ears, making my blood freeze in my veins. But I quickly shake it out if my head."What did you say?" The cig drops from his lips as he gapes at me in disbelief."N-Nothing. Just pretend that you didn't hear it." I turn away, feeling ashamed of myself."Wait. Did you really mean it? You don't even know me." He spins me around to face him."T-They say that you're the best. So it's better to lose it to you than to some other random guy, right?" I straighten my shoulders & try to justify myself, although it sounds unbelievable even to my own ears."If you don't want to, that's fin-" He smashes his lips onto mine, setting my whole body ablaze, before I can finish my sentence.His tongue expertly intertwines with my clumsy one, filling my mouth with a taste of mint & smoke.We are both out of breath when our lips part."Let's go. I know a place." He pulls my hand.I feel like my heart is about to explode as I follow him into an abandoned fisherman's shed a few meters down the shoreline.He locks the door with a chain & turns to me, eyes overflowing with lust."Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks as he holds my waist.I'm so nervous that I can't even make a sound, so I only nod in response.Once he's gotten my consent, he grabs the back of my neck & kisses me deeply. His lips are so soft, like the most luxurious cashmere. His smooth tongue swirls around my mouth. His large veiny hands roam all over my body. His body warmth seeping through the thick fabric of my dress.I get so lost in his kiss that I only realize that my dress has slipped down onto the floor when I feel the cold air hitting my burning skin.He releases his kiss & moves down to my neck, leaving a trail of tiny kisses & little bites, electrifying every inch of my body.He then unclasps my bra, puts a nipple in his mouth & sucks it hard, making me gasp in pleasure. His right hand massages my other breast, rolling the sensitive tip in between his fingers. The intense stimulation causes warm liquid to burst out of my core, wetting my underwear.Slowly, he lays me on the tarp on the floor & starts kissing downwards, closer & closer to my tingling center.In a swift move, he slides my underwear off & I instantly feel self-conscious."Don't look." I whimper shyly."You smell good." He mutters huskily."Don't- Ahhh!" I can't finish my sentence because an indescribable sensation surges through me as he licks my wet folds with his hot tongue.He continues doing it, lapping my vagina like it's the most delicious ice cream & biting my clit lightly, drowning me in a mix of pain & pleasure. The knot in my stomach becomes tighter & tighter, until I almost can't take it anymore."P-Please.. I- I can't-" I mutter, out of breath.He suddenly rises up, leaving me hanging."W-What-" I sits up in confusion, thinking that I've done something wrong.He moves forward, standing with both feet on my sides, his bulging crotch right in front of my face.Then, he unbuckles his belt & takes off his jeans. His huge cock springs out of his underwear, the red tip already glistening with precum."Suck it." He commands, voice hoarse & demanding.I gulp my own saliva, not knowing what to do since this is my first time. However, I don't want to look afraid, so I hesitantly grab his shaft with one hand & stick out my tongue to lick its tip."Ugh.. Put everything in your mouth." He groans.My eyes widen in shock.How am I supposed to put this enormous thing inside my mouth?I lick my lips & open my mouth, then I push my head forward. He is so big that I can only manage to put half of his cock into my mouth. The saltiness of his leaking precum hits the back of my throat, making me gag in reflex. But I persist & start swirling my tongue while lightly sucking his dick."Fuck.. Suck harder." He mutters as he throws his head back in pleasure.Seeing his reaction gives me confidence, so I bob my head faster while cupping his balls. My drool mixed with his precum flows down my neck, but I keep going. He clenches my long hair together in his fist & moves along with my rhythm."Look at me." He grunts, & I obey.His dark lustful eyes stare down at me & I've never felt so powerful ever in my life. "Fuck, you're so beautiful. I can't stand it anymore." He abruptly pulls out his dick & pushes me back down onto the tarp."This will hurt since it's your first time." He says as he hovers over me."O-Ok.." I nod, heart racing uncontrollably.He directs his tip against my hole & slowly pushes it in. I wince at the stinging pain & bite my lips to stop myself from crying."Relax. It will hurt less." He whispers into my ear.I exhale deeply & loosen my muscles."That's better." He kisses my forehead & starts swaying his hips slowly.The initial pain diminishes as my body opens up to him, engulfing him, letting him filling the void inside me."Ugh, you're so fucking tight." He groans as he moves faster.Soon, I'm a whole moaning mess. The friction of his cock rubbing my raw inner walls, the feel of his hard body pressing against mine, the trail of nips he left as he grazes my most sensitive parts. It feels like unceasing sparks inflaming all the nerves in my body, until I reach higher & higher & explode into a mind-blowing orgasm."Fuck.." He grunts & quickly pulls out, before spewing his seeds on the floor beside me.We lie next to each other quietly, only the sound of our gradually slowing breaths filling the silence.After I've come down from the high, shame & regret rush through me in waves."I- I need to go." I hastily get up, not able to look at his direction.A stinging soreness in my private part hits me as I lift my leg up to wear my dress."Careful. It will probably hurt for a few days." He says as he stands up & put on his clothes."Oh." was all I could manage to mutter."Thank you. I should go now." I awkwardly nod at him before trying to undo the chain he used to lock the door with."Thank YOU. That was the best sex I've had in a long time." He whispers close to my ear as he presses his body against my back & circle his arms around me to untangle the chain.I feel the tingling sensation in my core again, but quickly chase it away."There you go. You can go back to your castle now." He pushes open the door for me & teases.I scan the surroundings & step out cautiously once I'm sure that no one is around."P-Please don't tell anyone about this." I brace myself & turn to face him."My lips are sealed." He makes a zipping movement across his lips & smiles at me.I still don't trust him, yet I can do nothing about it. What's done is done."Goodbye. I hope we won't see each other again." I mutter, head lowered, ready to leave.All of a sudden, he snatches my wrist & spins me around back into his embrace."I'm sorry but I can't do that. You've got me hooked & I don't intend to let you go just yet." He smirks as he pinches my chin.My heart pounds in fear at his words."P-Please.. My father will kill me if he finds out-""Good night Virgin. Oops, my bad, you're not a virgin anymore. Anw, I'll see you around!" He strides ahead & waves lightly at me.What have I done?