(Richie)Chapter 13- Huh

The bell rings, making Eddie pull away. I pull him back, continuing to kiss him. He kisses me back a few seconds before pulling away again.

''We have to get to class," He says, picking his bag up off the floor.

I roll my eyes,'' Schools stupid. Why do we even need it?" I huff.

"Sure, you can go live in a cardboard box." Eddie comments, turning back to me.

"Would you live with me?" I ask, grinning at him.

"Do you know how unsanitary that would be?" He questions.

"It was a joke, Eds," I tell him.

"I know. I gotta go, babe." He pecks me on the cheek and opens the door, peering out into the hallway. The coast is clear and he walks out, leaving me alone in the janitor's closet. 

Two weeks have gone by since homecoming, and everything used to be a breath of fresh air. But now it reeks of bleach and mop water. Making out in the janitor's closet is getting old. Not the Eddie part, of course, just the fact that we have to be careful as to not step in a bucket. And then there's the constant struggle of knowing when and when to not hold hands. 

I step out of the closet- Haha- and walk out into the hallway, joining the oncoming crowd of people. I blend right in, yet feel alone. A voice sticks out in the crowd though.

"So when he spilled his drink Dave made me clean it up," Betty complains to another girl who I assume is her friend. I fall back slightly, trying to make sure she can't see me.

Things have been weird with Betty since Homecoming. She hasn't spoken a full sentence out to Eddie or the rest of us Losers. But she smiles at us when passing in the halls. I don't know if she understands Eddie's situation or if she's secretly a psychopath and is plotting our deaths soon. Either way, she and Eddie are no longer a thing and the whole school knows. That also means that the Losers know about us. Bev, Ben, and Mike seemed excited, while Bill and Stan seemed indifferent. But I think they have their own complications going on. 

I make my way to foods, and sit down next to Bev. She looks over at me, hiding a smile.

"What?" I ask her.

"Nothing, just, you have mosquito bites on your neck." She comments, putting her hand over her mouth, holding a grin back.

"Shut up!" I grumble, flaring my jacket collar to cover up my neck.

"You're grumpy. Why? Did something happen?" Bev questions.

"I'm just getting tired of the janitor's closet. I mean we can't even hold hands without being afraid of getting harassed." I sigh, rubbing my eyes in frustration.

"I'm sorry, Rich," Bev says, putting her hands on mine.

"Not much you can do about idiots, "I tell her.

"Hey, Halloweens coming up," Bev mentions as the second bell rings.

"Yeah, so?" I shrug at her.

"Bill's parents are out of town the day after. We could have a belated Halloween party. Us Losers and Maria." Bev suggests.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," I tell her, nodding.

A night alone with the Losers seems like fun. Besides, I'm excited to meet Mike's lucky lady. 

***

I lay on my bed, Queen playing in the background. I stare up at my ceiling, listening to Eddie read. Even Eddie can't make a science textbook sound interesting.

"Are you even following along?" Eddie questions, looking over at me. He sits on the floor, leaning up against the bed. 

"No," I reply.

He sighs, closing the book.

"Scoot over." He tells me, climbing up next to me. We lay there, staring up at the ceiling, our hands slowly edging closer to each other.

"It sucks that your parents are home," Eddie says quietly, his fingers meeting mine. 

Electricity runs through my body, making me paralyzed. 

"Why?" I ask, feeling almost embarrassed.

"What do you think?" Eddie questions.

"I want to hold your hand," I tell him.

"You are, Rich." 

"No, like....in public."

"Oh."

Silence stretches between us.

"I want to kiss you too," I add, feeling on edge. I fidget with his hand, feeling the itch to start running.

"Rich..." Eddie sighs.

"I know." I sigh, bringing my hands to my face. I rub my eyes, nudging my glasses up. Everything about this makes me want to scream.

"This town...these people....they wouldn't accept us. They just don't understand, and I don't think they can," Eddie says, turning to his side to look at me. I can't look him in the eyes. I want to cry again.

"Why can't I just love you!" I exclaim, tearing at my hair.

Eddie's silent as I fume to myself. I want to go around with a baseball bat and wipe out this whole town. I wish IT would have just taken the adults, a lot of our problems would be solved then. And then I hear a sniff come from Eddie. I turn to see him crying, silent tears falling from his face unto my unmade bedsheets. I roll over, facing him. I put my head to his, holding his hand in between us.

And I start to feel the tears well up in my eyes. And soon were both crying, both our hearts aching as one. And I remember how in 1st grade I had seen Eddie cry for the first time. He had a meltdown after Timothy Brunz had stolen his crayons and stuck them up his nose. The teacher tried to clean them for him, but Eddie was not having it. I gave him my crayons and half of my pack of crackers. And he calmed down. I remember how red his face got from crying. 

"How am I so lucky?" Eddie whispers to me.

I smile at him, feeling warm now. I kiss him on the nose, holding in a small giggle.

***

I stand on the edge of a cliff at the quarry. Storm clouds are rolling in, lightning lighting up the sky and the rumble of thunder in the distance. I stand in my boxers, feeling exposed and cold. I'm alone up top, but I look down to see The Losers swimming in the water, joking around with one another. I feel uneasy, but I still want to jump down to them. Eddie looks up at me, a grin on his face. I realize how young he looks. They all do. They all look thirteen again.

"Come on, Trashmouth!" Eddie calls up to me, waving an arm.

I back up, getting ready to jump off. I take a step, but I'm pulled back by a hand. I whip my head around to see Betty, an angry look on her face.

"What the-" I shout, trying to tear away from her grasp.

"You stole him from me!" She hisses, grabbing my arm tighter. I struggle against her grip, already feeling the bruises.

"No, no!" I gasp, pulling against her.

"Rich," My dad's voice sounds. I look behind Betty to see him walking up to us, anger in his face. My blood turns ice-cold as he grabs me by the shoulders.

His grip is harsh, and flares pain up through my shoulders.

"You fucking piece of shit! You're a queer! A little gay boy! I didn't raise you that way!" He screams in my face, his voice echoing around us. 

I start to gasp for breath, unable to breathe. I just want to run, but everyone keeps holding me back.

And then my mom comes walking up, tears streaming down her face.

"What happened to my little boy?!" She sobs, glaring at me with rage.

"Mom! Ma, please! I'm still your little boy! Ma!" I plead with her, wanting her to pry dad from me. But she keeps glaring at me, tears streaming down her pale face.

I shove my dad away and turn to see Bower's old gang, holding large rocks in their hands. The scariest part is that Bowers himself is leading them, his pocket knife in hand. He grins menacingly at me. My feet seem to be frozen in place as I'm trying to get my head around all of this. The sound of Pennywise's laugh echos around me.

I know your secret. Your dirty little secret. 

I close my eyes, wanting all this to end. 

"Jump Richie." Steph's voice whispers.

I open my eyes, all of my nightmares still standing. My father screams profanities at me, while my mom cries to the wind. Betty's still hissing at me, and Bowers stands in front of me wielding his knife. Pennywise's laugh gets louder, and so does the song. 

I ignore it all and sprint towards the cliff. I dodge Bower's swing and feel my feet leave the ground. And I plummet towards the water, and towards my friends.

I sit up in bed, gasping. Sweat rolls down my face, and I can feel myself shake. I quickly turn on my bedside lamp, looking around the room. I check the dark corners twice, making sure I don't see any yellow eyes. I slip on some clothes, trying to discard all the awful visions from my dream. I shuffle out of my room, and silently creep into the hallway. I make my way outside, standing out front. I take out a pack of cigarettes and my lighter from my pockets and start a cigarette. I start to truly calm down as I inhale the smoke, taking in the night sky. 

The stars shine bright tonight, and the moons full just like it was on Homecoming. I wish I could take that night back. Relive Eddie and I's first kiss. First I love you. But time can't rewind, unfortunately. I sit down on the front porch steps, the frosty air biting my nose, fingers, and ears.

I think about Stan and Bill for some reason, and how hard it must be for them too. I don't think they've excepted it themselves. I know Stan's family has preached gay hate since day one. It must suck being Jewish. I mean, they all got killed in World War II and they're considered rare or odd around here. But I guess anyone outside the cookie cutter is shunned here. Even if IT is gone it still seems like the people of Derry are still under this trance. 

Creak. I scramble up, turning to the front door. My dad stands in the doorway, a tired look on his face.

"What are you do'in, Rich?" He asks, rubbing his eyes.

I glance at my cigarette. My parents don't know I smoke.

"I couldn't sleep," I tell him, not knowing what to do with my cigarette. 

"Jesus Rich, calm down. You think I haven't smelt those things on you before?" My dad huffs, sitting down on the edge. I slowly sit down next to him, taking a drag of my cigarette, keeping my eyes on him.

"Why are you up dad?" I ask.

"I'm stressed, that's all." He replies, looking out at the empty street.

"What about?" I question.

"Work, money, your sister, you." He replies.

"Why Steph and me?" I ask, leaning forward.

"It's Steph's junior year. I want her to go to college, but I can't force her to do anything. I just don't want her to marry some doof on the football team and stay in this town forever." He sighs.

"I don't think you have to worry, Dad. I don't think that boyfriend of hers is permanent. Besides, Steph may be a stuck up snark, but I think she's pretty smart." I reassure him. He smiles at me, patting me on the knee.

"You're a good brother." He tells me.

We turn back to the street, falling silent.

"Is something going on with you Rich?" My dad asks, worry in his voice. I hesitate, looking down at my dangling feet.

"Yeah, actually...." I murmur.

"Lay it on me then." He says, turning to me.

"It's hard to tell you," I say, avoiding eye contact.

"Is it a girl?" He questions, sounding sure of himself.

"N-no." I stutter, his question hitting something different.

"Grades then?"

"No, dad."

"Are you sure it's not a girl?"

"He's not a girl!" I exclaim, looking up into his eyes. 

My stomach sinks down. I'm frozen with fear. My dad's face twitches and his smile turns into confusion.

"What?" He mutters, his eyes drifting away.

"It's a boy," I tell him.

He looks back at me, his eyes sad. I'm scared about what words he'll say next.

"Dad..." I almost tremble, "say something...."

He opens his mouth and closes it again. The crickets chirping becomes louder with my heartbeat.

"A boy?" He questions, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah." I sigh, inhaling my cigarette.

"A boy....a boy....huh." He murmurs to himself. A spark of realization spreads across his face," Eddie?"

"Yeah." 

"Huh."

Silence again as he thinks to himself.

"Dad," I say.

"Yeah, Rich?" 

"Is-is that okay? Are you okay?" I ask.

"A boy..." He murmurs again.

"Dad, please," I beg, wanting him to say something of importance.

"I mean, he's not a bad kid. Not bad looking either. He's a good student I hear. Is Mother's questionable, but that's not his fault..."He utters, stroking his chin in thought.

"What're you on about?" I question.

"Richie, you need to stop smoking. It's not cool, it'll give you lung cancer before your thirty and burn a hole through your throat." He tells me, getting up.

"Wha- Dad!" I exclaim, getting up after him. He turns towards me, halfway through the door, "Are you gonna send me away to some military school to straighten me out?'' I question, trying to hide the worry in my voice.

"What?! No! Why would I do that?" He scoffs.

"Because I just came out to you. I'm gay, dad. And I'm dating another boy." I state, expecting a reaction.

"So?" He shrugs, "Your my son. Even if I was against it it's your life, Richie." He steps further into the doorway, but stops and turns back to me, "I'm proud of you. That took guts." And he heads inside. 

I look up at the sky. Huh. I stomp out my cigarette, the thought of it less appealing. Nightmares don't mean anything but what we're afraid of. Pennywise taught me that. Things can seem really scary, up until you face them head-on. And then they're just clowns. 

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Hello wonderful people! This chapter took me longer to write than expected. I just didn't really know what to do with it, especially after the last chapter. I just want to thank you for continuing to read the work that I love to make. I'm hoping to start writing some more of my original pieces again and maybe publish them on here. Okay, that's all I have to say, bye!