Chapter 9: My Intimacy

'I'm so stupid! So stupid! Stupid!' Deku blurted in his head repeatedly. All of this seemed frivolous. His condition made him feel ashamed and less hopeful. 'How would I be able to become the greatest hero if my biggest weakness is Ka-him!'  Tightening his hold onto his straps, he stared at the floor as he entered his apartment, feeling as cold as ever. Since he had skipped going to the doctor, he arrived earlier than usual. After taking out his keys, he unlocked his door to his home.

Quiet and refreshing. Free of worries and filled with peace. Talking about worries, he had blocked Kacchan ten minutes ago, still feeling regretful. Was it actually the best option? Was it a stupid thing to do? Deku ended up swallowing one pill as he headed to his apartment, already taken three pills on that day. Deku closed the door behind his back and dropped his yellow bag on the floor.

The apartment was reserved but not as small. The living room was bigger as it occupied the most space and the kitchen was a reasonable-medium size. The rooms that led to the bedroom, bathroom, or the laundry area were on doors plainly on the walls with no hallways. The windows were mainly located in the dinning room and in the bedroom. Outside, it was a rainy day.

Craving for a snack, he flitted to the fridge in search for any fruits. He was planning on eating dinner later, as he wasn't that hungry. A fresh red apple was taken and he sliced it four times with a knife. He basically ate it in the simplest form for the satisfaction and the taste. While remembering his duties and plans on what to do, Deku wandered around the house patiently. He planned on watching Mt. Lady at 6PM as he noted down information, do the dishes, take a shower, and do his homework or revise his notes.

Flickering his finger, he organized his thoughts and came to the point. First, he would take a shower and do the dishes. Then, he would do his homework and turn on the television of the living room. It was all settled, as he thought.

Fast-forward, Deku quickly shoved the slices as he headed to bathroom with a towel. He stepped inside and left the door open. Unbothered, he turned the handle and the shower faucet started running.

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Ten minutes later...

A disgruntled person walked with their hands on their phone, staring at it vilely and with their other hand sheltered. They had a black-leather jacket with no hood and rather walked with baggy pants. Soft slippers that kicked the floor hardly. Their eyes constantly shot up and on their phone, assuring themselves that they were going on the right path. Grunting from anger and foolishness, they kept on walking near the sidewalk.

Mindless people walked past the anonymous with their umbrellas. The anonymous didn't really care of the rain that showered him above from above. Everybody seemed distracted, but he wasn't. He was looking for something. And he was going to search for it. Who was it? Well, he was none other than Bakugo. A Bakugo with a glare that made people turn their looks to the opposite direction. He gave off the vibes of someone with dark malice.

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Eight Minutes Later...

Deku moved aside the shower curtains, freezing from the coldness despite being refreshed by the warm water. He reached for his towel, which layed on the toilet seat, and dried his hair first. After gently drying all estimated drops that remained on him, he hopped on the rug with one foot. Then, he tied his towel around his waist to avoid the air affecting his temperature. When he almost reached for the door, he heard sounds. These were guided to the entrance of his apartment. If it were his mother, she wouldn't have been aimlessly trying to open the lock.

Striked with fear for his life, Deku inaudibly headed to the kitchen to grab the same knife he used before. Then stared at the door at that place, slightly ducking and his mind unable to think. The door was getting lockpicked, and the offender was doing it aggresively. Shivering, Deku thought again of grabbing his phone, which was in his room. He quickly crept there to grab a T-shirt and short pants that layed on the bed and abruptly wore them.

As he went up to the drawer, he heard the longest and highest creak ever. In his mind, it got stuck with a loud pause. The door slammed close seconds later. Logic and the capability to move had relinquished from his soul. Fear took control and governed his mind and body. However, he didn't hear steps come in. For that reason, Deku rapidly put his phone in his pant's pockets and went up to the door to lock it. Suddenly, he did hear faint steps, but these were soft and barely heard. Were they being careful or were they trying to scare him?

Clenching his knife while shaking his hand, Deku battled if he should lock the door or hide in the closet. It was the worst place to hide, but he had no choice. If he were to leave the room, the intruder would catch him from the entrance. Luckily, Deku had his knife and with it he could defend himself. The steps were now closer but remaining silent. Why were they being so quiet and tense? Finally making a decision, Deku opened his closet, careful of not letting any creak sounds, and hid himself in the darkness. Through the striped gaps, he intensely stared at his opened door.

Deku kept on that spot for five minutes. The steps were slow, so he envisioned them checking out every part of the place. Deku's room was the second last door to be encountered. He shook from fear. Then, he realized that the person was capable of deduct the fact that someone like him was in the apartment. This was because of the bathroom. If the intruder already checked that room, based on the water and the steam, they would already conclude the fact that someone was hiding somewhere.

Three more minutes passed and Deku stopped hearing those steps. The worst thing at all was that he did not know what to do and couldn't check where they remained. The other part was that he had been standing inside that closet for too long. Apart from fear, his struggling body was fed by his weak legs. Tears were shed as his emotions were developed. He cried silently. He couldn't use his phone since the closet wasn't spacious.

One more minute and this time the steps faded in. Only that they were on the other side of the wall. They were some feet apart from the suspicious-wide door. Gasping without making a sound, Deku's hand went up to his mouth once he recognized the blond-spiky hair that entered his room. He had that familiar indignant look, carefully stepping with his hands on his pockets. After realizing, Deku's eyes only widened more and his shaking trembled. He stared to sweat and barely was able to breathe.

Bakugo turned his head to that closet, in which Deku was in. He remained his stare there, until he violently speeded towards it and yanked the doors open. Bakugo's mischevious smile formed as Deku only forced his hands covering his mouth and slided to the ground. His hair was soaked and his body was wet from the rain. Deku couldn't mantain his shaking and his heart beated in a way that no words could express.

"Found you." Bakugo cockily said below him with his hands on the spreaded doors. Deku only backed away against the wood, not able to react but shiver like a dog congested with fear.

"Ka-ka-" Deku stuttered with the most hurtful voice. It was so pitched. Unbelievable that Kacchan had broken in his home without others noticing. Why did he come here again?

Bakugo noticed the knife that the green-haired held. Therefore, he grabbed him by the hair to make him stumble forward, and seized the knife from behind his back. Then, Bakugo threw it aside. He grabbed Deku's neck and pressed him facing the wall. He whined.

"You fucking blocked me. And since you never listen to me, I'm tired of repeating everything by repeating my actions and my words. Now, let's make this simple; give me your pills." Bakugo pressed firmly and growled. Deku feared but, as mentioned before, some sort of rage created a facade to his fettishes.

Deku shoved his nails deep into both of Kacchan's hands. The blond parted away impulsively in response to the sudden pain, and Deku ran away from the room. The green-haired went up to the kitchen again to pick up another knife. Once done so, he heard stomps from behind and ran to the living room, attempting to flee. The other charged at him and they fell harshly on the floor. Both groaned from the impact.

"You are really stupid. You can't learn from your mistakes, huh? Yesterday I did the same to you, and you didn't think of preventing something like this to happen? You should've listened to me!" Bakugo stated, holding him tightly as he plainly laid on top of him. Once he stole his knife, he tossed it to the other room. Deku's cry was now audible.

"I-I thought you really meant those things; the things you told me through text! I thought you had feelings for me, Kacchan!" Vulnerably, Deku confessed. "But you're just here to hurt me..." Deku broke down crying below, with his crossed arms on the floor, covering his soggy expression. Bakugo scoffed.

"What feelings? I never said anything like that, bastard. It doesn't matter what I do to you, because in the end, it is me who is doing it; and you'll like it anyways." Bakugo's cheeks caressed Deku's and his breath meet his heated state. Deku felt the same way he felt a week ago in his house. Trapped in a situation in which he couldn't help but fantasize.

"Tell me what you want, Deku" Bakugo whispered in his ear sensually. The green-haired obviously couldn't react to his question. His tears were present and his anger hid, prepared. There were all mixed emotions that couldn't work together: anger, dissapointment, disgust, tenderness, and arousement. He only trembled. Bakugo continued to caress his face and warmth, lowering down to his neck. He made small hums near his aural sensation, sending a spark of electricity through Deku. He clenched his teeth lightly.

"I just want to be a hero, Kacchan. The greatest one. But I...hah..need to overcome my disorder and I need to stay away from you..." Deku admitted, far from what Bakugo had expected. The guy has stopped his caressing and parted away. He remained his stare on the green-haired, however.

"A hero? With your disorder? Forget being a hero, Deku. You can't be one as long as I'm here with you." Bakugo got off from his back and headed to the door of the same room. Deku sat up with slight pain and still had blurry eyes. Bakugo came back with his pills. "So easy..." Bakugo mumbled to be heard. Deku panicked as he needed to take the pills.

"Kacchan! Give it to me!" The green-haired yelled, kneeling on the ground. "You don't need these, idiot. If you want to be cured then come to me." The blond offered or rather commanded. From his kneeling position, Deku stood up with his legs shaking and hugged his arms with his hands. He avoided eye-contact.

"T-that's not fair! You are not helping, Kacchan! You're using me! Besides, you won't always be there when I feel this way..." Bakugo turned his attention to the bottle and opened it. He kept an eye on the content and on the appearance. "Using you, my ass! If you think I'm helping you, fuck you! I'm doing neither! I'm doing this because you can't be a hero!" Bakugo shouted, making Deku surprised. His eyes remained on the floor with a beating heart.

There was no way Bakugo had come that far to prove that point. To prove that Deku couldn't be a hero, apart from being quirkless, because he was attracted to Kacchan. Unbelievable. But these negative feelings arose, arose to the point of turning Deku on. What a shameful effect, Deku thought from second hand embarrassment. He hated himself for everything and his uncontrollable feelings.

"Face it; you can't be one. You'll be stuck with me your whole life and while being a hero, I'll always be on your mind. Isn't that what you wanted?" Bakugo taunted Deku as the other lost their seemingly-cognition. "Let's see if these actually works" Bakugo said as he took out three pills from the bottle and fell on his palm He then went up to the amused Deku, and raised his chin up.

"Open your mouth" He unbotheredly said. Deku complied, but he additionally took out his tongue. Bakugo gave him the pills and, being congested with a blank mind, the green-haired grabbed onto the blond's hair and kissed him. The blond let the bottle fall on the floor along with the pills. Bakugo let out a husky exhale and passionately groaned in his mouth. While the three pills remained in Deku's tongue, he slid it inside Bakugo, sharing the medicine. Because of that, each other's taste was bitter.

Bakugo held onto Deku's waist and layed him on the couch. Spittle leaked from Deku's lips, slowing sliding down his cheek. He gripped the blond's hair and his tears dried from existence. Each time exchanging the space in their mouths with each other's tongue. Exchanging pills and minimizing its taste and size. Bakugo's free hand slid underneath Deku's pants and fondled his erotic bulge over its fabric.

"Mm...ahhn" Deku let out a pitched noise, his heated up face increasing. Bakugo breathed heavily while his warm breath lowered to his neck. Deku then opened his eyes as he wanted to try something else. He sat up and Bakugo stopped.

"What the fuck?" He dissapointedly cursed and returned his hands. However, Deku pushed him down and immediately suffocated him with a kiss and the giving of two tiny pills. His waist moved according to the speed of the heated kiss while holding Kacchan's face. The blond grabbed onto his waist reluctantly and continued to slid his tongue. While grinding his crotch, the green-haired took off Bakugo's jacket and Bakugo took off his plain shirt.

Deku parted for a moment to breathe and to take off the last piece of clothing of Bakugo: a white T-shirt. After that, apart from going back kissing deeply, Deku's hands gently slid down Bakugo's chest to his stomach, feeling his constructed body. The blond hummed as a response. Deku's tongue was directed to his neck, swirling the area and moving his hands back up. Bakugo grabbed one of his wrists and his roguish grip guided it underneath his tingling member.

The blond thought that, judging by his position, the roles have changed for Deku to reconsider. "Mmmmnn!" Bakugo was muffled by his biting lips and pressed his head harder against the cushions. Deku did his thing and layed his head on Bakugo's shoulder, moving back and forth. "Ka...cchan.." The green-haired lowly called below his neck while stroking his length swiftly. Bakugo hardly clenched his teeth and his breathed skipped. This sent familiar currents through Deku's skin.

"Kacchan...hah..d-do you feel good?" The green-haired barely stammered while his sweat smeared with Bakugo's body. The other remained with their expressions shut tightly. "Nghh..s-shut up! You-ah! Keep doing that...and don't say anything" He replied back. Deku shortly nodded and decided to go quicker. More of Bakugo's groans were mumbled and also fasten.

"AH! Ah! Deku! Ah!" Bakugo moaned loudly and clenched onto Deku's hair. What was happening? Just minutes ago Deku felt threatened. But now, he was on top and rubbing his enemy's or rival's member, getting his hands soggier. Feeling as hot as ever. Feeling as satisfied. Bakugo pulled Deku's hair up harshly to face him. He yelped as he was dragged to a deep and wet kiss.

Suddenly, the door was knocked. The heated atmosphere shrank but the warm breaths revolved. Both boys turned their heads and Deku stopped moving.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" A voice of an old man was heard, startling the green-haired and angering the blond. A silence evolved and the boy's tried to hide their noisy breathing. "Ignore him, keep going" Bakugo ordered as Deku stared at the door hesitantly. His senses were coming back, but shutted after looking below him. Deku lowered his head and licked Bakugo's length. The blond trembled and gritted his teeth vulnerably.

"Midoriya, your mother told me to cook you a meal. She told me you were here. Did she send you a message?" A voice from the other side said.

Deku choked down Bakugo's member while his head was forced upward and downward. He grew overthinking. If he didn't answer the neighbor would get suspicious and call his mother. There were many outcomes that can lead to the revelation of what he's doing. Other than that, receiving the meal was something necessary as well since he became hungry.

The green-haired's breath tripped as he could hardly breathe. Bakugo bit his lips to contain his noises, silently groaning. Deku only grew needy as he was giving pleasure but receiving none. The door was knocked again. Overreacted enough, he took out his length from his mouth and his tongue. Bakugo was perplexed as he was close, but Deku only whispered in a desperate way.

"Kacchan, go hide. I have to answer him or else he'll call my mom" Deku alarmed as he stood up. The dissapointed blond-hair grunted, stepping inside the bathroom. Deku cleaned his mouth with his arm and licked his lips while quickly putting on his shirt. Then, he went up to the door and opened it.

"S-sorry...I was in my room" Deku untruthfully reassured the man with a mustache. "That's fine. Here, take this plastic bag. I made some quesadillas. I know it is not what you usually eat but that's all I have." Deku took the bag. "Thank you" Gratefully, he said. "No problem."

And then the man left to his room. Deku got a glimpse of the hallway and reverted to his apartment. He locked the door. Just as he was about to call Kacchan over, he doubted his decision. What were they doing? How did they came to the point they were in now? Deku overthought and always came to conclude that he didn't actually love him. But there was something else. Maybe just feelings and emotions mixed together like he had thought so days before.

Bakugo, after witnessesing the sound of silence for a long period of time, opened the door to leave his hiding spot. He had adequately put his pants back up but remained shirtless. Did he finished off himself?

"I'll put this in the fridge. Give me a second." Deku carefully said and went up to the kitchen. Bakugo was silent and glared at him. After closing the door, the green-haired felt Kacchan's arms embrace his body tightly from behind. Bakugo's hands moved gently under Deku's shirt. His face inhaled his scent while he also breathed near his neck. The green-haired gulped as his hidden lust was fed by affection. His head moved aside wherever the blond set his face to, his hair caressing his face.

Deku was pinned against the fridge while Bakugo gave rough kisses all around his neck. His breathing fastened and placed his arms on the door the sustain himself. The blond's hands went underneath the other's pants and grabbed his wet length. From the touch, Deku hummed quietly as the other started to move their hand. With the other hand, they grabbed onto their waist and continued to caress their neck with their tongue.

At one point, Bakugo began to hardly bite every part of Deku's left shoulder. The green-haired gave short but high screams of pain. Bakugo gave up on the waist and covered his mouth instead.

"Remember, Deku, I'm only doing it for a reason that's not for you. I'm doing it so society won't have to look at us again. So you won't get on my way." The blond-haired whispered in his ear, continously rubbing with his hand. Deku clenched his fists and contained his dizziness.

Conflicted feelings.

But what feelings was he experiencing? He didn't know, but refused to admit the fact that he loved it.