risks

Warning: mature language and scenesfirst personword count: 4,90011:45 pm | your own demons have led you into the life of crime — can you ever be forgiven?

I remember the moment it happened. I was sitting in the lobby of Central City General Hospital, and I had my fingers crossed. Hell, I'd never been totally religious, but there I was saying my prayers. I had old and new tears coming slowly. I wasn't sobbing, but I couldn't make the tears stop. I was praying to God, begging him for a miracle.

"(y/n)?" A solemn voice echoed. I looked up, my brother's doctor waving me over to him. I took a deep breath before approaching him.

"Yes?"

"I'm really sorry . . . With reluctance I tell you that the cost of your brother's medical expenses exceeds the insurance company's $1 million limit. All expenses from here on out will have to come out of pocket," he informed me. His eyes were sad. My breath caught in my throat. "Can I . . . May I obtain a card to put it on?"

I nodded, numb as I pulled my credit card out of my wallet. My brother's cancer came back, and our insurance company decided to stop paying after $1 million. Initially, the insurance seemed reasonable. Who passes $1 million in medical expenses in their lifetime?

The ones who get sick. The ones who suffer. The ones with unbelievable bad luck.

I couldn't breathe, mainly because I didn't have the money to pay for such things. An MRI alone would cost me tens of thousands of dollars. I gave the doctor a weak smile.

"I . . . tell him I said goodnight. I need to go figure this out," I said to him. He nodded at me, and I turned in my seat. I grabbed my leather jacket and took a deep breath. My brother had no one but me. Both are parents were deceased, and any living family we had was either not in contact with us or not speaking to us purposely. I had no one but my brother. And I had to do something about it.

I looked down at my leather jacket, remembering when I used to have money. I had spent $500 on the jacket. It was Italian leather, and it was now my most prized possession. When my brother's sickness came back, all my money and time was fed right back to the hospital. I sold my jewelry, my designer bags, and forced myself to move into a small apartment on the wrong side of town. It was worth it; I wanted my brother to live. No money in the world would stop me. Absolutely nothing. When someone means the world to you, you go to hell and back to help them. No matter what the cost.

11:59 pm | a few days later

I stepped back to admired my work. I had constructed a nice ensemble, constructed from the Italian leather of my jacket and flexible materials I purchased at a craft store. I had made a tighter and sturdier jacket by cutting off excess fabric and fitting the jacket to my measurements, custom. I used mostly a thick latex, in order for it to be flexible to move in. With the extra fabric, I made fingerless gloves and a comfortable mask, fit over my eyes nicely. I grabbed the jacket first, pulling it around my frame.

It fit like a glove, pinching in at my waist and curving around my frame. I fixed my leggings underneath the jacket, letting it take most of the attention. I grabbed a few things off my desk. They were holsters to be fitted around my thighs, filled with trinkets like small knives and small explosives. None of the explosives were enough to damage much; I meant to use them as distractions.

I grabbed my newly polish boots, their heels making them just feminine enough for me. I never meant to do things like this, but if I was going to, I would at least make an effort to look the part. The gloves and mask were last to come on, and I examined myself in the mirror.

Jesus, you look ridiculous. What are you even doing? This is wrong. So, so wrong.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my phone. The tracker I placed on the moving truck was moving fast; I figured they were already on the move. My next hospital payment was $6,700. I planned to get that today. And I planned to get fast.

I had purchased a flexible wire to be fitted onto my holster, something to help me if I needed to get out of somewhere fast. Real fast.

My phone alarm went off, and my stomach was tied in knots.

Oh, you're really gonna do this. Shit! This is ridiculous.

I took a deep breath and made my way onto the fire escape of my apartment. I saw the truck turning onto the alley, and I took another breath and counted to three before jumping off the ledge. I landed on the truck, not smoothly. I groaned as I rolled onto my stomach, my back pulsing with pain.

Oh, so many bruises. So many bruises after this.

I crawled my way to the edge of the truck, eyeing the locks that kept it close. It was just as I expected; padlocked and a retinal scanner. I knew my knives would cut through the padlock, but the retinal scanner would be a difficult one.

Shit, I didn't want to have to hurt anybody.

I sighed as the pulled into its destination. We were behind a national bank, and the driver and passenger got out of the truck quickly.

"Yes! I thought it was total bullshit, no foul should have ever been given," the driver grumbled. I sighed. I had never done this before, I had never stolen anything before.

You're doing this for him. Don't think about. You have to.

The two met up at the back, and I put my feet out, hoping to knock them to the ground with the back of my heels. Adrenaline coursed through me, and I dropped myself down. I hit them both in the chest, landing on my feet. My heels vibrated a little in pain, but I shook it off as I watched both men groaning, holding their chests. I swallowed, pulling knife from thigh and rolling it back and forth between my fingers.

"So? How is this gonna go?" I cooed, crouching down beside them. I stood back up, knocking the padlock open with a quick swipe of my blade. Then, I put my foot down on the passenger's chest and pushed down. "You the one with the eyes?"

He swallowed, shaking underneath me. I pushed down harder, and he coughed and nodded. I grabbed him by his collar and lifted him off the ground, shoving his face into the scanner. The light flashed green, and I threw him back on the ground. I sighed. "Sorry about this," I whispered, before kicking his head, making him go limp. The driver pleaded with me to let him go, but his forehead met the tip of my shoe as well.

I turned and opened the back of the truck, eyeing the stacks of money in front of me. I examined the stacks of $1,000, grabbing seven of them. I checked them, making sure there was no paint packets or chips on them before I turned to run. As soon as I hit the ground, my vision was covered in red before someone in their own suit stood in front of me. I cursed under my breath, for I was worried this would happen.

Flash.

"That's a great get-up, honey, but I'm gonna need that money back," he laughed. I bit my lip, cursing again as I turned to run. "Do you realize who you're running from?"

I smiled a little, turning the corner and scanning the roofs of the buildings in front of me. I saw a ledge that seemed sturdy enough, but Flash appeared in front of me again.

"Seriously? You're really gonna keep running from me?" He asked in disbelief. I grabbed an explosive from my belt, throwing it in his direction. The detonator went off, and the alley turned into a smoke cloud. I let my wire do the work as it wrapped itself around a bar near the stop of the roof, and I quickly pulled myself up. As soon as I made it to the top, I hid against the wall. I breathed heavily. Flash might've been fast, but he wouldn't be able to hear me from up here.

"Guys, I lost her. I'm gonna go check on the drivers and close up the truck, get an ambulance down here," Flash said, and I waited until it was completely quiet before I got up. My hands were shaking, and I felt tears coming.

Oh, god, what have I done?

10:41 pm | the following week

I squeezed my brother's hand, his eyes fluttering shut. I tasted the salt of my tears as they hit my lips, and I breathed out as the doctor came into the room.

"He's doing very well. I imagine you're tired, why don't you go on home? I will make sure to call you if anything changes in his condition," he assured me. I nodded, knowing I had plans tonight anyway.

I had spent the last few nights hijacking bank transportation trucks. Ever since the first night, I was on high alert in case I would into Flash again. I hadn't, not yet. And I intended to keep it that way. I never stole more money than I needed, and every time I had to hurt somebody I prayed to God again that I did it for a good reason. I knew I was guilty, and I knew what I was doing was wrong. But every time I thought of my brother, it was all I needed to keep doing what I did. These risks were worth taking.

I made it behind the hospital, using the darkness to change into my mask. I dumped my clothes and purse behind the dumpster, and my phone alarm went off as it notified me that the truck was coming down the street. I looked around to make sure no one was looking before I threw one of my explosives into the open road. I pressed the detonator as I watched the truck approach it, and the truck halted to a stop as I took out its front tires.

"Shit!" the driver called out. "It's this maniac again! Grab your gun."

I swallowed. I had never encountered a gun before. I walked slowly out of the shadows, letting my heels crack the pavement underneath me. Both passengers looked at me terrified, and I cracked my knuckles. I waved at them.

"Hello, boys," I smiled. Inside, I was dying. His gun was pointed right at me, and I approached him, still in his line of gunfire. I stepped so close the barrel was pointed between my chest, and I had never felt more terrified in my life. My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking, but I kept a smile on my face. "Are you gonna fire that yet?"

He turned the safety off, and I ducked before grabbing my knife and slicing him across the leg. He fired the gun into the air on accident, and I cursed to myself before swinging my leg and knocking him onto his ass.

"You shouldn't have done that," I breathed. I kicked the gun out of the way, grabbing the passenger's collar. "Open the back. Now."

He held his hands up before grabbing onto the lock, but I heard sirens in the distance. He went slower, and I squealed in frustration.

"Hurry up!" I cried. I saw the lights turning around the corner, and I cursed again before taking off. I knew the cars were catching up to me, and I dropped an explosive onto the ground. It went off, but not before another car came from the other side of the street. I couldn't help it; I was breathing so hard I thought I might faint. Just as I was about to grab another explosive, I was clouded in red before being dropped onto a roof. I coughed in pain, holding my side.

That hurt. A lot.

"What the hell are you doing?" A voice demanded. I looked up to see Flash. I spit at his feet, slumping back onto my ass in exhaustion. "I just saved your ass, and that's how you repay me?"

"I didn't need to be saved," I spat, using the edge of the roof to stand back up.

"Didn't look like it to me," he grumbled. "You need to stop! You're gonna get yourself killed!"

"I'm the criminal! Why don't you just take me out then?" I cried out, my hand reaching for my knife.

"Because I want to know why. I know you're not doing this for money. Every time you do, you take a few thousand. And it's always a different amount, but's never a lot. What are you doing this for?" He asked. I wrapped my hand around my blade, but before I could do anything, Flash had thrown each of them across the rooftop floor. He was standing right in front of me, grabbing my last explosive and fitting it into his pocket. He narrowed his eyes at me. "If you don't tell me, I will take you in."

My eyes began to water. "Because . .  . because I don't have enough money to pay hospital bills," I said shamefully. My voice was so low I could barely hear myself. Flash frowned at me.

"What do you mean?" He wondered.

"My brother . . . is in the hospital. And I don't have insurance anymore. I needed the money, and I got desperate. I barely have any money for myself," I said. I couldn't look at him. I was so ashamed. I started to cry, and I slid against the wall and buried my head into my knees. I felt Flash crouch down in front of me, and I looked away.

"No, look at me," he said softly. I looked up, and he slid my mask off. He smiled at me softly. "Don't cry. Please don't cry."

"I'm so ashamed of this. I'm so tired. I can't even take care of myself," I whispered through my tears. He stared at me apologetically.

"I've been watching you every night. I know a lot about you, even just by watching you," he said to me. He wiped my tears with his gloved fingers. "But you gotta stop. You gotta stop, there has to be another way."

"There isn't another way! Every day, the bills piled up. $4,000 for this, $10,000 for that! I can't! I can't keep up! There isn't another way!" I cried. I leaned forward and buried my head into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. He rubbed my back slowly.

"It's okay . . . I'm gonna help you. I promise I'm gonna help you. But you gotta stop doing this . . . you gotta stop being this," he said softly. I lifted my head up from his chest. I bit my lip before leaning my head back on his chest and breathing out. I nodded against him.

"Okay . . . okay. I'll stop . . ." I breathed. Flash kissed my head, and I looked up at him. "What was that for?"

He shrugged. "You look like the kind of girl that needed that," he replied. "You've been taking care of everyone but yourself. Let me help you."

I sniffled, putting my forehead back onto his chest. I grabbed onto his suit, suddenly feeling so attracted to him without even knowing his name or who he was. But he was willing not to turn me in. And I couldn't thank him enough.

"I'm really sorry," I said to him. Flash put his fingers under my chin and lifted my eyes to his. I saw lightning in his eyes, red and sparkling and beautiful.

"C'mon. Let me take you home. I'm going to have to take these from you though," he waved to my knives and mini explosives.

"Take them, just take them. I never want to see them again," I whispered. Flash helped me to my feet.

"Which way?" He asked. I mumbled the name of my apartment building and number, and I felt a rush before I realized I was standing on my fire escape. I turned away from him, struggling to open my window. When I finally got my window open, I was too tired to get myself inside. I was about to fall inside, but Flash helped me to my feet on the other side. I smiled at him faintly while I pulled my leather jacket off.

"Oh! Jesus, okay, u-uh," Flash didn't realize I wasn't wearing an undershirt, and he turned around quickly. I smiled to myself, grabbing a loose shirt from my bed and slipping it on. I tapped on Flash's shoulder, turning my back to him.

"Can you take these off?" I asked, pointing to my holsters. He reached down and unbuckled them from behind, letting them fall to my ankles. I bent over to unclasp my heels, stepping out of them and suddenly being much shorter than Flash. I turned around and kicked my stuff underneath my bed. Flash was biting his lip, looking me up and down. I waved a hand in front of him. "Hey. I'm up here, buddy."

Flash blinked rapidly, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, yes. I'm sorry . . ."

"So . . .? How are you gonna help me get money?" I asked. I sat down on my bed, and he settled on the windowsill.

"A job," he replied simply. I frowned.

"A job? How is that gonna help me?"

"When you get a certain job, you get health insurance along with it. There are some things you can do to .  . . help you out with your brother's medical expenses," he explained. I nodded my head. It sounded simple enough.

"Okay. But what kind of job will get me the kind of insurance for that?" I asked. Flash rolled his fingers around my little device and the wires.

"How about one in science?" He offered. I frowned.

"I'm not a scientist, I'm not smart," I replied, fumbling with my nails. Flash chuckled.

"I see how you've made these little things. Looks like the kind of mind I'm familiar with. You'll fit right in there," he told me.

"Where?"

"S.T.A.R Labs."

10:59 am | the following morning

I sighed as I placed my hand on the scanner. It read my prints, and the elevator opened for me. Flash told me it was third floor, and I pressed the large printed 3. I waited, tapping my foot until the doors opened. When it opened, a smiling redhead greeted me with warmth.

"Hey. You must be (y/n)," she announced. I frowned. I had never told anyone my name. She noticed my uneasiness. "Uh, we got your prints off the stuff Bar—I mean . . . Flash got from you. I'm Dr. Snow. But you can call me Caitlin."

I nodded at her. "Sure. It's good to meet you."

She led me down a small hallway, so sleek and white and cold. I emerged into a room, full of advanced technology and erase boards full of equations. I approached the board, running my finger over the formulas.

"What are these for?" I asked.

A young guy came in, sucking on a lollipop and holding a tablet in his hands. "Those are for Bar—I mean . . . Flash's speed," he replied matter-of-factly. I held my hand out to him.

"Hi. I'm (y/n)," I told him. He shook it with his free hand.

"Francisco Ramon. But you can just call me Cisco," he said, giving me a straight face. When I turned back around, I noticed Cisco pointing at me with a crazed look on his face. Is this her? He mouthed to Caitlin, and she just nodded.

"Hey guys," a familiar voice called out. I turned, seeing Flash walk in. I smiled at him, and he nodded his head at me. "I'm glad you came. I wasn't sure if you would."

"It's not my instinct to be evil," I laughed. Cisco pointed his lollipop.

"But it's your instinct to rob $56,000," he accused jokingly. I grimaced at hearing that.

"Not my proudest moment," I said softly, looking down at my feet. They all gave me sorry expressions, except Cisco. He didn't seem to like me very much.

"We aren't judging you, I promise. We just didn't want anyone to get hurt," Caitlin said soothingly. I looked up at them. I bit my lip.

"Yeah. I know. I'm past that," I assured them. I set my purse down and turned back to the formulas. I pointed at one. "This one is wrong."

Flash narrowed his eyes at me. "Excuse me? I did those myself."

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter who did it, but it's wrong."

"How so?"

"Well . . . normally you would cancel out the degrees, but in this case you can't assume the answer isn't in degrees. It doesn't work like that when you have the problem with cosine. The answer is in degrees," I explained. I picked up the marker and fixed the answer, and Cisco snapped his finger at Flash.

"That's it! It makes so much more sense. It's about the angle . . ." He left the room to find something, and Flash crossed his arms over his chest.

"You're gonna do well here," he assured me, and I just smiled at him.

7:50 pm

"(y/n), you can go home. I think we got it from here," Caitlin assured me. I nodded, and I stood up from the desk.

Caitlin's face turned a little pale. She had her hands on the keyboard, and she moved the microphone closer to her.

"Flash, are you okay? Your vitals are spiking," she said in a worried tone. Cisco entered the room, looking over her shoulder. I watched as Cisco and Caitlin hurriedly began pulling up blue-prints and camera feeds, helping Flash from their desks.

"Flash, get out of there! Your suit won't hold up much longer, you need to move!" Cisco demanded. My stomach lurched.

Is he okay?

Suddenly, Flash entered the room, Caitlin's papers flying. His suit was burnt badly, and he was groaning in pain. Caitlin reached for him. I dropped my bag and helped her, throwing his arm over my shoulder. We both dragged him to the medical bay, laying him down on the bed. Caitlin grabbed an IV bag.

"(y/n), unzip his suit," she demanded. I paused, Flash hissing in pain and crying out.

"But, I can't. I'll see his face," I breathed. Caitlin was busy attaching the needle.

"It doesn't matter! Unzip the suit!"

I huffed and slipped the mask off, revealing a head of chocolate hair. I unzipped the suit, helping his arms out of the sleeves. His skin was bubbling in some places, burned badly.

"Oh, God," I whispered. Caitlin found his vein and began to feed him water through the IV. She grabbed a needle, almost filling it whole. "What is that?"

"Morphine," Caitlin replied. I gasped.

"You'll kill him with that much! Stop!" I cried. Caitlin shook her head.

"Trust me. He can take it." As soon as the morphine hit him, his face eased, and he drifted off to sleep. I put my hands over mymouth.

"I—I can't do this. I can't—" I ran out of the room, looking for where I dropped my bag.

"(y/n), wait!" Caitlin cried. I shook my head, grabbing my bag and getting the elevator as fast as I could. I rapidly pressed the button, wanting to leave so bad.

"Hey, please don't leave." It was Cisco. I turned to him. I felt tears coming.

How can they live like this? How can they livewith Flash always on the brink of death?

"Tell him I'm sorry," I breathed before disappearing behind the elevator's doors.

10:35 pm | the following week

I held my leather jacket in my hand, contemplating my decision. I knew this time, Flash would come for me. And this time he would want to catch me for good. This time he wouldn't give me the same mercy he had before.

I zipped it over my frame, letting out a shaky breath. I really didn't want to do it. Flash had seen the good in me, he had seen something good in my wrong. I hated to let him down. He was starting to grow on me. And after seeing what was underneath the mask, he seemed even more attractive.

Something about the good he did, the suit, and now what was underneath—he was everything I wasn't. But I couldn't stay. I couldn't handle everyday worrying about whether he would make it home. It was too much, and I was already caring about someone I didn't really know.

A knock came at my window, and I cursed under my breath. When I turned, Flash was there, and his expression was filled with disappointment. I slipped my gloves on, fixing the mask around my eyes. I turned to him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Get out of my way," I told him. Flash shook his head.

"No. I won't. I'm not gonna let you do this."

"You can't stop me. I need it. I don't know how else to explain this to you."

"I will stop you. And your brother will be visiting you from jail."

"He'll die without me," I breathed, my eyes stinging with tears. "Now get out of my way!"

Flash stood up straight. "No."

I came at him, in a blind rage, my hand on the holster of my thigh. I was about to grab my blade, but Flash caught my arm, pulling me close to him. My breath caught in my throat, and I reached my other arm to hit him anywhere I could.

Flash caught my other hand, and before I knew it, all my weapons were across the room.

I let out a scream of frustration, relaxing in his grip and breathing hard.

"I'm not letting you do this," he said softly, his hands leaving my arms and making their way to my waist. I looked up at him, shaking my head. "I'm not giving up on you. The risks you take . . . let me help you. Please."

I was so close to him, and the sexual tension between us was growing. I never thought I cared about him so much, but his breath lingered on my nose. Before I knew what I was doing, I had this cheeks between my gloved palms and I was kissing him.

I didn't know him. I didn't know his name or who he was or anything, but when I kissed him, I felt so whole. I felt so complete and fulfilled, and I yearned for more.

Before I could pull away, Flash picked me up from under my knees and had my back against the wall. The breeze from the open window made me shiver, and I pulled away from the kiss reluctantly. Flash shook his head, licking his lips.

"You're driving me crazy," he whispered, and I kissed him again. I slid his mask off, letting my fingers tangle in his hair. I smiled against his lips, and he deepened the kiss. His lips lingered longer against mine, and I felt the ultimate amount of seduction as his hands slid from my knees up my thighs.

I crossed my legs behind his bag, and his handsmet dangerously low on my back. I pulled away from the kiss, out of breath. I rested myforehead against his.

"Please tell me your name," I whispered.

"It's Barry. Barry Allen."

I smiled, giving him another soft kiss. "Barry . . ." I echoed, and he shut his eyes at the sound.

"I've never made out with a stranger," I said, fingering the hair at the nape of his neck. Barry smiled.

"You're not a stranger to me. And I never want you to be," he chuckled. I leaned back to stare at his eyes, lost. "Please don't go. Don't go tonight."

Barry left the wall, keeping me tangled around his waist. He put me down on the bed before kneeling down to meet my gaze.

"After that? I'm not going anywhere," I said softly, smiling at him. Barry reached up and took my mask off. "Is this wrong? Is it wrong to be falling for you?"

Barry leaned forward, his nose touching mine. "I don't care if it is. To me it feels pretty damn good."

I kissed him again, and when I pulled away, his eyes sparkled in red. I laughed a little.

"Barry, I'm sorry I left," I apologized. "I was afraid. And I didn't like seeing you so hurt."

He smiled wider. "That's why I came for you. You think I'd let you go so easy?"

I had never been wanted like this before. It was new and exciting and had me feeling tingly all over.

"Maybe I should run more often," I teased. Barry should his head, looking up at me lovingly.

"Please don't," he whispered. I leaned in and kissed him again. I was hungry for him. Ifelt like a teenager, and I welcomed it.

"I'm not gonna kiss you anymore until you tell me more about you," I said softly. Barry nodded.

"Anything. As long as you promise to stop. And as long as you promise to let me help you."

I nodded. I was ready. So ready to stop taking risks, and so ready to let him in.

Hope you loved it! Love, B.