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Chapter forty two: Feelings

Several weeks had passed including the four week time frame that Evan had given to me and Ember. Ember was upset most of the time and would refuse to eat even her favourite food. If I had known this would happen when seeing him I would of never done it. This is not fair on anyone let alone a child.

Yet again Evan was out of my life and I didn't receive not one text from him after our phone call. He gave up easily which hurt more, maybe I was angry and didn't reason with him but after seeing him back with Emma.. something snapped inside of me.

"Morning sweetheart" Henry hummed as he walked in with his joggers hanging on his hips lazily. "You're up early, you okay?"

I sighed "yeah I'm all good. But that was a lie. I was not okay. I missed Evan so much that my heart felt like it had been ripped out and stamped on. "I just.. hate how easily he gave up on us. Ember too, that's her dad and he still hasn't made contact for her"

Henry frowned and seated himself next to me "I know, that's a heartless thing to do to a child and Ember is such a bright little girl. He will regret it when she is older and hates him"

The whites of my blue eyes became red and bloodshot; tears now flowing. "I-I just can't believe I'm such an idiot" I choked on my saliva as the muscular man cradled me into his chest.

Henry had seen the worst parts of me because of the emotional pain I was experiencing as of recent and he still stuck by me, still combed my hair when I had no energy too. Ran baths for me, did my laundry and made me food. Henry was truly my saviour right now and it made small feelings creep up to the surface. Not love; but definitely affection.

"I hate seeing you like this Maeve because I know how amazing you truly are" he complimented with adoring eyes "you're the girl who pretended to be my girlfriend not once but twice. Who used to drive me insane but made me feel home all at the same time. You're a treasure and I've never met someone as strong as you"

Blinking a few times and without thinking I grabbed Henry's face with my skinny, pale hands and planted a delicate kiss upon his lips. Henry kissed back in a second, though I could tell he was shocked. I took in the smell of his cologne which was mint; the feeling of his stubble grazing my palm and the hammer of his heart.

I pulled away softly and rested my forehead against his "I'm not sure what this is Henry and I can't promise that I will be good for you but you make me feel like I'm unstoppable and for that I see you in my heart as someone more than a friend"

Henry wiped a thumb across my cheek delicately "I will help build you back up to the Phoenix I know you are. Even if it takes time. I know Evan will always have a piece of your heart that I cannot grasp but I will be there every step of the way to repair the rest"

Henry then leaned in and kissed me again but this time it was more passionate, I ended up tangling my hands into his thick mane and dragging him on top of me. My fingers grazed the skin between his jeans and abdomen as I flicked my eyes back and forth. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Swallowing saliva harshly I nodded as Henry peppered kisses up my neck and cupped a hand under my shirt, the feeling of him caressing my skin felt so right and I soaked up every second. It was different than when I was intimate with Evan- Evan was fiery, dangerous and spontaneous. The sexual drive I had for him was on a whole different level. With Henry it was soft, passionate and loving which was a comfortable type of feeling.

Ember was still asleep and wouldn't wake for another few hours so we took this time to really enjoy one another and forget all the shit in our minds. I suppose dating superman was better than expected.

**

Evan POV

"I'm not fucking doing this anymore" I cried with tears flowing down my face. "You're going to end up killing me or I'll end up killing my fucking self"

I pushed past Emma and ran a hand through my hair as my legs paced the kitchen "you're only making me resent you more"

Emma pouted her lips and grabbed my face between her hands "is that so? Do you want me to show you what resentment really is?"

Emma kicked me in the skins hard which made me fall to the ground in pain, her hand then came and swooped down to slap me in the face multiple times. In the end my lip became bloodied as I didn't want to hurt her back; I wasn't that type of person.

"We could be so fucking happy" she exclaimed, stepping off me and brushing her hands against one another. "But you're choosing this life Evan. Not me. I want you to smile and laugh with me. Be happy with me"

"Happiness isn't forced. Love is not forced. I will never love you Emma and to be quite frank I doubt I ever did" I said with a rasped voice. "How could I love such a monster ?"

Emma furrowed her eyebrows and kicked me in the stomach. Instantly I held the sore spot and buckled over in pain. "Me a monster ? Don't make me laugh. Your mouth is disgusting"

I squeezed my eyes closed and took a deep breathe in "I'll find a way to expose you. Who knows I may already have a plan under my fucking sleeve so I would watch out if I was you" I warned with a sickening glare.

Emma looked almost taken back before laughing excessively, her hands clasped together in thought. "Well I look forward to that. In the mean time.. go clean yourself up you look awful"

I will find a way back to you Maeve and that is my promise. Even if you end up not wanting me back.