01

01: Just people being assholes

Blood pooled from the open wound on my lip, Pain instantly creasing upwards to my jaw making me grimace. "You're fucking useless" my father hissed at me as he grabbed my cheeks harshly. "Why did you have to be born for?" He cried with disdain flooding from his mouth.

Spitting blood onto the floor I glared deeply into his eyes, my heart hammering against my chest. "You're the person who made me!" I screamed bravely but he instantly dismissed that with another punch to my face, sending me backwards.

"You remind me of your pathetic mother- you disgust me" He exclaimed, turning away and slamming my bedroom door shut. Leaving me huddled up in pain on the floor covered in my own blood.

Shakily I touched my lip and winced as I did, it was split open and it hurt badly. Father had the tendency to hit me; ever since my mother died from cancer he turned bitter towards me. He describes my mother to have been weak; too weak to fight off a terminal disease as if it were her own fault.

Grabbing a tissue I dabbed at my fresh wound; sitting in my own silence trying to fathom why my life got so bad. It wasn't always like this; we used to be happy. But father decided to indulge into alcohol; this turned into a full on addiction which he so heavily relied upon. It turned him nasty, abusive and callous.

Tiredly I wiped my eyes and laid sobbing in my bed, my sheets now being drenched from my salted tears hammering down my flushed cheeks. In my ears was music playing which was 'Zombie' by the cranberries; I loved that song and I loved music generally. It helped me escape the harsh reality which was my life.

**

It was morning which meant school and possible abuse later on when I returned. It was a repetitive cycle that I so happened to be stuck in. It didn't help that the kids at school weren't the kindest and would pick at me for everything I did; such as my clothing choice and introverted behaviour.

They called me weird but I wasn't weird, I was alone and terrified that this would be my permanent reality; perhaps my father would end up killing me or maybe I would eventually kill myself.

Dad was asleep so I made sure to leave before he had the opportunity to see my face; he always had a pitiful look in the mornings. Due to the unfamiliar sober state and sudden understanding what he inflicted upon me the night before. It was almost regret.

Putting my earphones into my ears I began to listen to 'creep' by Radiohead. The weather had turned bitter over the cold months which made goosebumps form along my paled skin; though I attempted to gain warmth from my jacket.

Grabbing a smoke from my packet of cigarettes I placed it between my lips, allowing for the smoke to fuel my lungs and hopefully give me some confidence to start my day. I suppose in that sense we are all addicted to something and for me it was smoking. My friend Josh was twenty one so was able to buy them for me regularly, I appreciated having a friend in this world and he understood my personal situation.

I just needed to get through my last year of school, I was now nearing eighteen and hopefully then I can find a way to escape this hell hole called life. Josh had offered me multiple times to stay with him but we decided it would seem peculiar of him to take in a seventeen year old. We didn't want any assumptions to circulate; plus my father would for sure not tolerate it.

Kicking rocks with my boots I put out my cigarette and made my way into school, familiar faces already staring at me and the pointing of their fingers directed towards me. Probably due to my busted lip and poorly covered bruise around my eye. I knew what they thought; they thought I was always getting into fights but that just wasn't true; I couldn't hurt anyone.

Swallowing thickly I went over to my locker and began to grab my books for my first class which was literature. The strong smell of perfume suddenly hit my nostrils which made me turn my head around.

"Ahhh look who it is" Katie exclaimed with her boyfriend Charlie resting across his own locker opposite me. "You look pretty busted up- no wonder people don't like you" she scoffed harshly.

I decided on ignoring her, closing my locker and making haste to my class but Charlie grabbed my wrist. "My girlfriend was talking to you" his lips pulled into a tight line.

I tried to shake away his grip but my stomach turned into knots from fear. Thoughts were resurfacing from what my father did to me on a regular basis. "p-please stop" I begged pitifully which only made him stare at me as if I was a maniac. "Jesus- you don't have to be that scared"

Tears pricked at my glassy eyes "leave me alone.." I shook my head repeatedly and gripped my hair; dropping my books in the process. "P-please leave me alone. Don't hurt me"

Katie almost looked apologetic as she walked over to me "why are you acting like this?, fucking hell you're crazy" she jeered, her eyes burning holes into me.

"Come on babe.. let's just go" Charlie interjected as he snaked his arm around her waist. "We will deal with her later" he grimaced with a disgusted expression.

Not moving I stayed in the same spot, my hands laced into my hair whilst my books left scattered across the floor. Bundles of people stared and laughed as they walked past making me more and more flustered.

"Are you okay..?" A calm voice asked as a book was placed in-front of my face. Breaking away from my trance I looked up hesitantly and saw chocolate brown eyes and a mop of messy brunette hair.

I nodded weakly and took the book from him "yes.. I'm fine" I said just above a whisper.

"Ignore those idiots. They just haven't got anything better to do" he reassured, lightly smiling towards me.

Collecting the rest of my books I regained my composure and sorted my hair that I tangled up. "It's fine you don't need to talk to me anymore" I informed the boy which made him frown.

"I want to make sure you're okay" He responded reassuringly again but this time he seemed saddened. "I don't care what people think if that's what you mean"

I laughed dryly "you should, nobody likes me here and they will think you're a freak too" I lowered my gaze and toyed with one of the book pages in habit to distract myself.

"I wouldn't care either way. My name is Evan" he introduced warmly. "What's your name?"

"My name is Maeve" I said back softly, still unsure as to why he wanted to converse with me in the first place. "Honestly- I'm fine"

Evan furrowed his eyebrows "you don't seem fine. You also look injured-

I stopped him by placing my hand in the air "please Evan. I'm fine" I then walked off leaving the boy to revel in his own silence. I almost felt guilty but I didn't want to be questioned right now; let alone talk with anyone in the first place.

I entered my class and sat at the back, trying to dismiss the looks darted towards me. Opening my notepad I began to scribble little notes to distract my brain; waiting impatiently for the class to start so the stares would stop.

"Morning class, we have some exciting news today" Mrs Walker greeted with a sickening grin plastered across her face.

"We have a new student. His name is Evan Peters" She continued, ushering towards the boy who just walked in.

It was the boy who I just left alone when he tried to talk with me; guilt instantly becoming my main emotion. He was only trying to make a friend and now I scared him off.

Some of the girls stared at him with love struck eyes and the boys frowned with jealousy. "Now Mr Peters you can pick a seat" Mrs Walker informed him as she panned her finger across the chairs.

Evan smiled and walked over near the back, many of the girls following him with their eyes and gushing amongst one another. Though I could tell Evan felt uncomfortable by this so he didn't interact with their blatant flirtatious looks and whispers.

"May I sit next to you..?" Evan asked me softly, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

I nodded hesitantly "ah- sure" confused why he wanted to sit with me I allowed him to, the class now looking at us in shock which made me feel nauseous.

"Sorry.. about earlier" I apologised briefly, my heart sinking due to how rude I was.

Evan smiled "you don't have to apologise. It's fine. Truthfully I was just worried about you"

Great, he felt pity for me. I nodded and turned my attention back to the teacher who was writing things upon the chalkboard; the chalk making me cringe as it slid across.

"So.. may I ask what happened earlier ?" Evan whispered which made me frown.

"Just people being assholes.." I mumbled with pursed lips.

Evan hummed in response and flickered his eyes between myself and the teacher "you know... assholes always end up ugly or fat when their older. They are in their prime during school- but that's it"

I placed a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing which made Evan smirk in triumph. "See... knew I could get a smile on your face"

Blushing lightly I turned my gaze back towards my notepad, jotting down notes and trying to configure why Evan was so desperate to put a smile on my face.