Chapter Ten

Harry Styles watched as Liam took the open bag of chips and walked over to the closest bench. The boy sat down slowly with a sigh leaving his lips, and Harry could tell by his body language that something was up. The voice of the man behind the counter brought him back to life, and Harry apologised before placing the £1 coin into the man’s hand in an exchange for an open bag of chips. Harry took them in his hands, the smell of the warm grease and the shuffle of the papers they were wrapped in making his stomach growl and rumble uncontrollably as he walked out of the fish and chip shop, before going over to the bench where Liam was sat.

Harry plonked himself down and sighed a little in satisfaction. There was a small silence as both boys settled themselves, as they sat on the bench after their long day at school. There was obviously a lot on Liam’s mind, which set off confusion for Harry. Liam had seemed, well, alright earlier, but when his younger brother had showed up, it seemed to have brought something out in Liam which Harry couldn’t put a finger on. Liam and Niall’s brotherly relationship was a touchy subject, which was why Harry had to step carefully around the next conversation.

“So, you seem a little…off.” Harry started, before he placed a chip into his mouth and slowly chewed on it, his green eyes were wide with curiousity as he sat back in the bench, looking at Liam. Liam’s shoulders seemed to tense, but then relax, even though he stayed quiet. Another quiet moment passed.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked once again, before he chewed on another one of his chips as he waited to see if Liam would talk this time. Liam let out a sigh before he leaned back in the park bench. Liam shoved a couple of his chips into his mouth, and made no eye contact with Harry at all. Well, this had confirmed that there was something that was definitely wrong with Liam, but Harry feared that he had pissed Liam off in the process of trying to find out.

Just when Harry thought all hope was lost, as they sat on the bench in the middle of the street, watching people walk past as they dove in and out of shops, Liam finally spoke.

“Sometimes I just feel like the cons outweigh the pros when I think of why I’m friends with Andy and Louis.” Liam spoke, his voice was a little quiet, as if it was the first time that he had told himself that he had said this out loud to himself, and Harry realised that he must have been in denial of what he had just said.

Liam turned around to look at Harry with vulnerable, big brown eyes. His lips were set in a straight line, as his hands held onto the bag of chips in his lap. Harry frowned a little, slightly surprised that Liam had suddenly come out with that. He knew that Louis and Andy could be a pain in the arse, but as he looked over the sincerity of Liam’s facial expression, Harry realised that this was deeper than the two boys simply saying something to Liam as a playful tease.

“What did they do?” Harry asked simply, deciding against the choice to ask if this was serious or not. It was obviously serious. Liam looked away from Harry and into his lap. He shrugged his shoulders a little, obviously having some sort of internal battle with himself on how much to tell Harry.

“I just…” Liam started, and Harry saw how his fingers had started to tap extremely quickly against his leg, and Harry decided to remove the bag of chips from Liam’s knee. This was done just in time, because Liam gave a short, loud noise of anger, before he turned to Harry quickly.

“I have no problem with myself being gay, but they make me feel sometimes like I should have a problem with it! I don’t get it!” Liam suddenly snapped, as he looked past Harry as his hands flew around frantically. This was a habit Liam tended to have, he bottled everything up, and then it came out on people when they least expected it. Liam wasn’t very good at controlling his emotions; he simply kept everything inside because he never really learnt how to deal with them, and himself. Harry had one of his large hands holding onto the two bags of chips, while the other reached out for Liam’s hand.

“Li, you know they don’t really think that. They’re just teenage boys, and they have no idea how it feels. They have no problem with your sexuality.” Harry comforted him, before rubbing his thumb against Liam’s knuckles with a small smile. Liam stayed quiet, but slowly turned back to look at Harry.

“But the way they talk about it, it’s like they don’t really understand that it affects me…I wish they were more like you, Harry.” Liam mumbled, before he looked down at their hands and squeezed them, before looking back up at him with a small smile.

“You’re the only one that gets me, most of the time.” Liam told him, and his smile grew wider across his blushing cheeks. Harry simply chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m your best friend, it’s what I’m here for, bro.” Harry chuckled, before passing Liam back the bag of chips, and throwing one at him in the process. Liam rolled his eyes and threw one back before both boys were quiet once more, as they ate more of their chips.

“The other two are harmless, don’t worry. They have the brains of goldfish.” Harry spoke up once more, as one last caring piece of comfort for his friend. Liam was finally in a good mood, so Harry decided against asking about why he was off earlier with Niall. It might only lead to another small outburst from his best friend. Liam chuckled a little, and agreed, before concentrating on his chips for a moment.

Harry looked over Liam in thought for a moment. His hand was still in Liam’s, but Harry couldn’t help but realise how different Liam’s hand was in comparison to the only ever boy that had ever held Harry’s hand; Zayn. Harry was a touchy feely guy, with no doubt about it, but he didn’t really tend to run around holding hands with his best friends. But, now he had held both Zayn’s and Liam’s hand, but now he couldn’t debate who was better. Liam had a strong hold, not too strong, but not lazy enough to just fall out of Harry’s grip, and every now and then Liam would gently squeeze Harry’s hand, almost to reassure that he was still there. Zayn wasn’t like that. Zayn was ten times different. Harry craved to hold the boy’s small hand, whereas he didn’t necessarily crave for Liam’s.

“Hey, Li?” Harry asked quietly, before he removed his hand out of Liam’s. Liam turned around, his big brown eyes looking down at their now disconnected hands, before he looked up at Harry with a small smile.

“Yeah?” He answered, but the question that Harry wanted to ask now slipped from his mind. It was a hard question, and the way Liam was looking into Harry’s eyes just made the question ever harder for Harry to say.

“How do you, er, how do you know if you’re…you know…” Harry started, before he rolled his eyes at his immature babbles. Harry put his hand up to gesture for Liam to hold on, before he cleared his throat.

“What is it?” Liam asked anyway, even though there was a knowing smile pressed across his mouth.

“How do you know if you like boys?” Harry blurted out, his words blunt, since it was the only way he’d be able to announce them. When the words hit Liam, they didn’t hit him like Harry thought they would. Liam simply smiled and gave a shrug.

“Well, you just know.” Liam replied coolly, and Harry couldn’t help but notice how smugly Liam was smiling now.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Harry quickly burst out, which only made Liam laugh to himself, before eating the last few chips and scrunching the paper bag up into his hands.

“No reason. Now, what did you want to know again?” Liam asked with a cunning smile, and Harry elbowed him playfully.

“You know what I want to know.” Harry mumbled, before his cheeks started to blush a little. Liam chuckled one last time quietly, before he ruffled up Harry’s hair playfully, before slowly removing his hand from Harry’s curls, as if appreciating them before a loss of contact.

“Well, from what I have gathered from my own experiences, there are a few kind of…‘types’, I guess we could say, of being gay.” Liam started, folding his legs and looking over to Harry with a look of expertise on his face. Harry stayed quiet, not only interested in Liam’s words, but also dreading them a little.

“You’re either fully gay, where it’s just guys, guys, guys, and all you can think about are stupid little romance stories about two boys defying all odds around them and falling for each other…” A dreamy haze swirled around Liam’s dark eyes, which caused Harry to smirk a little at his hopeless romantic of a best friend.

“Or, there’s bi, you know, when you’re half and half.” Liam explained, returning from his short daydream and turning to Harry with a confident smile, although all that filled Harry was anxiety. He didn’t have a clue who the hell he was, or who the hell he liked for that matter, and it drove him crazy. Surely everyone around him had settled in who they were, yet he was like some lost soul…

“Does that help?” Liam asked with a slight smile, which was answered by a short and sharp refusal from Harry.

“No.” He grumbled, before he scrunched up the large chip papers in his hands into a ball and threw them into the bin. The paper ball landed in the bin as Harry let out a huff and leaned back in his chair, his long arms folded out in front of him, his bottom lip sticking out slightly more than the top, like a moody child.

“Well, can I ask what has gotten you so confused?” Liam tried once more. The boy turned his body slightly towards Harry, one of his elbows propped on the top of the bench, as a helpful smile spread across his face. A small frown caused Harry’s eyebrows to gather together in the middle.

“If I knew, I’d tell you. I don’t know how I feel, I just feel completely different to everyone else.” Harry mumbled, before he closed his eyes together in annoyance. That was the first time that he had ever voiced those few words out loud, not only to someone else, but too himself. They seemed to sink in slowly, as Liam’s brown eyes looked over him sympathetically. Harry sunk down in the bench and closed his eyes a little.

“I’m such a shit person.” Harry mumbled to himself, before a hand was placed softly on top of his.

“Hey, no you aren’t. Just because you aren’t sure who you like, doesn’t make you a bad person! It’s okay to be confused, but one day, I’m sure you’ll meet a guy, or a girl, and you’ll just know.” Liam told him with a soft smile, before he wrapped his hand around Harry’s. Harry looked at Liam for some sort of reassurance, and when he saw Liam smiling and nodding in his direction, Harry couldn’t help but smile a little too. Maybe it was okay to be unsure…

“And until then, you can always read this book and leave the cute little notes on the side of the page?” Liam chuckled, before he pulled a book out of his blazer pocket and passed it to Harry with a wide smile. Harry chuckled and took the book, before his green eyes looked over the cover.

“Irresistible…just what I need, I suppose.” Harry chuckled, before he slid it into his school bag, eager to read another one of Liam’s books. He had a pile of them hidden under his bed, just like Liam’s were hid under his. They both shared a mutual love for them, and the discussions they would have after were the best parts.

Harry loved Louis, he was like an excitable twin brother to him, and Harry loved Andy and his hilarious jokes and wild stories about his nights out, even though they all swore half were as made up as the plots in Liam and Harry’s books, but there was something about Liam that always made him stick out to Harry. Ever since they first met, they simply just got each other.

         

 A/N: As always, thanks for the amazing support, and I want to apologise for the slow updates. I hate it, but I have a lot of school deadlines to meet by the end of this week, which sucks balls. But after this week it's all good in the hood! I go on holiday next week, which means lots of writing in my free time! So, that's what's happening! Sorry for the long author's note, urgh, you guys know I hate making these. :') Love you all millions more each day, and thank you all!<3