Chapter 9

 This time you called in at work and they weren't happy with you. You texted James about the situation and he was willing to talk with the boss for you, but you felt that he didn't fully understand why you needed to do this and why you wanted to risk your job. There were hundred other people that would gladly take it in a heartbeat. But you just couldn't live with the way that it ended with Connor the day before. You may have said that you were heading to the station to make sure that he didn't report you, but you also knew that now you had met Connor, you had a hard time getting him out of your head. Sure he was a handsome face but he was designed like that. But the way he acted with kindness towards you and opened up to you... It was really something special coming from someone like him. An android fighting against himself, but totally forgot about it the second he was with you. He dared to show who he really was which was the complete opposite of any other guy that had ever tried to get near you. The fact that Connor didn't even know about what he was doing to you, just made it so much more real.

You parked next to the station and took one last shaky breathe before entering the building. You asked the android lady at the front desk to speak to Hank Anderson but at first you were denied.

"Please, can't you send him a message that I'm here? He wants to see me. I promise." After your talk with Hank the day before you were sure that he would let you in the office area.

"I'm sorry, but I think him and his partner are on their way out. You may catch them here tomorrow." The android lady said with a formal tone. She didn't for one second look away from you while speaking but there was something there. A spark in her eyes. You reached across the counter and laid a hand on hers. She looked down on your hand and she looked confused but also alarmed. That was not android behaviour. That was deviant.

"Will you please let me in? This is about the deviant cases and he knows I'm on the deviant's side. I just want to make sure that my name isn't going to be reported anywhere." You whispered to the woman and you saw how the LED on her temple flashed yellow. You looked her straight in the eyes with a look you hoped showed how serious you were about this. She pulled her hand away from underneath yours and put it neatly in her lap.

"You will find Anderson's desk through the door and in the office area to the right down the hall." She simply said and looked down like she was ashamed. Poor woman. You nodded as goodbye and went to search for Hanks desk.

You never reached his desk as him and Connor came walking the opposite direction. They were indeed on their way out. You watch how Connors face went from surprised to a smile when you caught his eyes. But again was it like a switch was turned off his face went back to a blank expression. Hank on the other hand smirked at you and when you reached them you were surprised by him when he reached one arm around your shoulder and gave you a small squeeze.

"Y/n. What on earth are you doing here?" Hank said, but with a kind tone of voice.

"Hank we are on our way to investigate a case. We don't have time to talk." Connor interrupted before you answer Hank. You immediately felt down. You had hoped that there would be just a bit left of the Connor that had visited you all those times. The one that could recognize and help you with what was brewing inside of you. You stepped away from Hank and looked at everything else in the hall, than Connors eyes.

"I don't want to bother you if you are in a hurry. But I really hoped that I could talk with you Connor."

"I... don't see what there is to talk about. We have clear your name from the investigation. You are no longer a part of this." Connor spoke with a little hesitation but those words didn't give you peace at all.

"I don't want you to hate me Connor." You said and closed your eyes. You didn't want to look at him if he chose to spear you down with more rejection words. You gasped when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You breathed out sharply before looking up at Connor that was standing right in front of you now. His face hadn't changed but his voice was gentle.

"I don't hate you y/n."

"Let's just... Sat that will meet up here later Connor. The girl does sound like she has something important to say and it should be here. Go somewhere more... Private." Hank hushed the two of you away from the hall with a worried look on his face. The moment after another officer passed you in the hall and you understood what Hank meant.

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You left Hank in the hall and Connor showed you towards what must be the office area where he and Hank worked. Many sat with paperwork and some were discussing different cases with a toned down voices.

"Hey tincan!" Someone yelled from across the room. Many people including you turned toward the voice and a brown-haired man with a permanent frown came up to you and Connor. Something about his arrogant look made you step away from him, when he stopped next to you.

"You can't bring suspects into the office, plastic boy. I don't know if you have an error in your software, but suspects belong in the interrogation rooms." It was like he hadn't seen you at first. He was talking over your head directly to Connor. If he had talked to you in that tone you wouldn't have hesitated to punch him in the dick. But violence against cops sounded like a bad idea at that point.

"She's not a suspect. She's here in other matters." Connor answered calmly but you saw his LED flash yellow for a moment, before it went back to blue. You finally dared to lock eyes with the strange man and he gave you a cocky nod.

"What are you in for princess?" He said and folded his arms over his chest. He straightened up a bit and puffed out his chest.

"I don't think that concerns you."

"I can interfere in everything that plastic prick is doing. He's owned by the DPD." The man huffed. You looked around on all their co-cowers and many of them kept staring or looked away when your gaze passed them. Why weren't anyone saying anything?

"Maybe that's your right to do so, but don't you have anything better to do than annoy people? Real work maybe? If you keep standing here, there might be an android taking over your real job." You spat at him. You saw fire in the man's eyes and his jaw clenched.

"Watch your mouth missy..." Connor dragged you in front of him and with a hand on both your shoulders he guided you away from the angry man and toward a door in the other end of the office than where you came from. When you were on the other side of the door and alone again you let out a frustrated grunt.

"What an absolute dick! I can't believe him!"

"It's just Detective Reed..." Connor said.

"I don't care who he is! Are you exposed to that behaviour of his every day, Connor?" You took a look at the android and saw how his whole body was clenched. That was answer enough for you. You couldn't help but feel bad for him.

"This isn't the place to talk yet. This way." You followed Connor down another hall and into what looked like a small conference room. On a screen next to the door you could see that it was booked for a meeting in 3 hours but it was empty when you stepped in. Connor closed the door behind you as you leaned against the table and tried to collect all your thoughts.

"So?" Connor started.

"I just... I don't like the way we ended it yesterday. I'm sorry that you had to find out that I was helping deviants that way."

"In what way?" Connor asked blankly.

"The man I had on the table yesterday... He died Connor." You said and kept an eye on his reaction. He stiffened a little.

"I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I know how you feel about the deviants. About them being alive."

"You experienced that too Connor. You saw him lying there. But I don't think you understand how I feel about deviants. How I feel about you." You stood up and walked to standing in front of Connor. Without hesitation you took him hand in yours. He didn't say anything, but looked down at your locked hand. So you took the liberty to explain yourself.

"It was by coincidence that I met the first deviant. He was thrown out in the junkyard and I was there to find spare parts. I took him with me home when I realized that he was different. I repaired him and helped him into the city. Soon more deviants came running to me for help, so I guess someone spread the word. I love helping them. I love seeing how their faith in humanity is restored and how they smile when they look at themselves in the mirror in one piece again. They cry, they feel broken and hated. All they need is to be understood and freed. They would never harm anyone unless you harm them. And if humans stop harming them, shooting them and kill them... They will live among us without being a threat to anyone. And you know that Connor." In the time you had spoken, Connor kept looking you in the eyes with his LED turning back and forth between yellow and blue. He didn't as much as squeeze your hand or smile at you. He just stood there. When the reaction never came you stepped back with a sigh and let go of his hand but at that moment he reached out and took back your hand and held it in his.

"Don't go now." He pleaded. You were taken aback by this reaction.

"Then please say something." You were growing a little annoyed. You knew that if he was snapped back in his robotic state he would have a perfect rejecting answer immediately. But when he couldn't answer, you knew that it was because he was thinking. He needed to tell you what he was thinking, or else this wasn't going anywhere. You really didn't want to leave without being on good terms with him, but you also had somewhere else to be later and you hoped that he would support you in that.

"I... I understand them. I know how they feel but it is wrong." He finally said and you shock your head at what he said.

"There is nothing wrong with being alive, Connor." You assured him and stepped closer to take his other hand.

"We are not alive."

"Don't you ever say that! Don't. I was there the night they made the peaceful protest at the park. I saw androids scream for their lives and bleed out on the street. The military only stopped the massacre because I was there. They just cold blooded killed more than a few dozen of androids but stops because one human gets in the way? Where is the justice? You are as much alive as I am, Connor. You and every other android have the right to live as much as I do." You haven't noticed that you had started crying until Connor let go of one of your hands and dried away the tears from your cheeks. Connor had a pained smile on his face. The first sign of any emotions while having thing conversation and you were so relieved that he wasn't totally gone. He was still your Connor. You buried your head into his shoulder and without hesitation he wrapped his arms around you.

"I am so sorry that you had to experience that. I never thought about the trauma you must have. I was just... angry... to find out that you had been lying to be. You of all people." You of all people, you repeated in your head. You meant something to Connor.

"I am so sorry for lying to you." You mumbled into his jacket.

"It doesn't matter right now. I just want you to stop being sad. I don't like to see you like this." He stroke your back like you had done to him that one time he broke down in front of you. You could for sure get used to being in his arms all the time. It seems like you always ended up there when you were together.

"Then how do you like seeing me?" you asked him and you could almost imagine the confusion in his eyes and the LED jumping from one colour to the other. That was a risky question when you knew that he was fighting against the deviancy.

"I would rather see you smile. You tend to do that a lot when I see you." He said under a breathe. Did you smile a lot with him? Almost every time you had seen each other it had been about death and stress; helping each other through it. You have seen him smile hundreds of times but had you smiled back as much?

"I smile a lot?" You asked curious and leaned back to look at him. He flashed you a grin that made you weak. You were lucky that he was already holding you up.

"Yeah. Just like that." He whispered and there was a moment where you two were just staring at each other like two fools. Your heart was racing and you could feel his too, because he didn't loosen his grip around you one bit. The urge to step up on your tiptoes and plan a kiss on his lips was suddenly present, but how would he reach? Did he know how to? Or would he reject you?

"Connor?" You mumbled a few centimetres away from his lips. He hummed as a replay but he shut his eyes. Don't close your eyes, you thought. Because that wasn't going to make anything easier for you. You were so close...

"Before we... you have to know that I will never ever lie to you again."

"Okay." He whispered so silent that you weren't sure that you actually heard anything. He parted his lip a bit like an invitation.

"I have to tell you this. I really like you Connor. I do. But the second I walk out the doors of the station, I will go and join the deviants in a peaceful march through the city. And... I think you should join me." At first there was no reaction. He just stood there like he was still waiting for you to finally connect your lips. But a frown slowly formed between his eyes. His LED went red in the corner of your vision and you knew he was fighting against himself. It surprised you when he leaned down anyway and rested his forehead against yours. You could feel him breathing out, like his system was overheating and his lips were ghosting over yours. You didn't dare to move.

"y/n.... no..." Connor finally said and in one swift movement you were out of his embrace and he was standing a meter away from you. The suddenly loss of contact made you feel cold all over.

"I don't want to force you to do anything for me. Do it for you. I just hope that we are on good terms before I leave." Connor was shaking his head like he couldn't believe what was happening and his LED changed colour violently. You were starting to grow worried for him, but he stopped and looked at you. His LED stopped on a bright yellow colour.

"I don't hate you. I know what I'm becoming and I know what will happen to me if I continue this behaviour. I like you, y/n and you should know that something in me tells me to go with you, but I can't. I have to complete my mission. I have to find Jericho." He explained. You went silent for a moment before nodding.

"The deviants will get their freedom and maybe then I will see you again."

"The odds are too low and Cyperlife is counting on me." He sounded... desperate?

"I understand Connor." You took a step backward, closer to the door.

"I know I can't talk you out of going, so please be careful. I don't want to lose you."

"Keep low here Connor. There are a few of the officers that only need an excuse to throw you in the bin. I don't want to lose you either." You were at the door now but couldn't take your eyes off of Connor. All you wanted to do was to run back into his arms and assure him that you weren't leaving. But you had to.

"Good bye y/n."

"No, Connor, not good bye. See you soon."