I Put A Spell On You

"I put a spell on you because your mine..." ~I Put a Spell on You - Nina Simone

New York, mid-July 1966

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" a doctor asked as Charli sat in a small chair in the room.

"What? I mean, yeah...I guess...I mean, I don't know" she said with tears in her eyes.

"Come on Charlotte," he said calmly "This is the third time this year you've come in because of your anxiety"

"I don't get it," she admitted.

"What don't you get, dear?" he asked.

"Why is it happening now?" She asked angrily "I left my parents home 5 years ago, why am I getting worse nightmares now? Why does it seem like everything is terrifying?"

"Well, Charlotte," he began "Anxiety and PTSD don't have a timer unfortunately, it can hit at any time. Given your history; an abusive childhood, heroin abuse-"

"I quit using 2 years ago!" Charli said angrily. He nodded and continued.

"Not to mention, self-harm and you once said you harboured suicidal thoughts. Given all that, I'm not surprised you have some latent anxiety"

"But I'm not afraid of him anymore," she said in almost a whisper.

"I know you're not, but that doesn't stop your mind from reminding you that you were," he said.

"So...what do I do?" Charli asked "There has to be some way to feel normal"

"Normality is relative" the doctor smiled "But, I think for you...I'm going to prescribe a round of anti-anxiety meds. Take one a day for the next month, then reduce it down to half a pill for the next 2. I don't want you to become dependant on them and I'm also giving you the card of my friend who is a psychiatrist. I really think, Charli...you need to start talking about your traumas with someone who can help you, keeping it inside isn't helping you. The cutting is only a temporary solution."He indicated the fresh bandage on Charli's arm just below her tattoo.  She instinctively covered it."Ta very much" she sighed feeling like she had hope again.

London, mid-July 1966

Paul sat, drinking a cup of coffee, looking out over the garden of his new home on Cavendish Avenue. Martha, his sheepdog, whom he adored chased after something she saw in the garden. He hadn't written Charli since his letter the previous year, he still thought about her but had forced himself to move on. He lost himself in thought over the disasters in the recent tour in Germany, Japan, and the Philippians. He was now worried at the impending tour of the states. John had made a comment about The Beatles being bigger than Jesus...at least that was the part the US media chose to focus on. He didn't feel they would be as welcome this time as the last 2 years.

"I feel like you just got back and you're leaving again," Jane said as she put her arms around his shoulders jarring him from his thoughts.  She smiled warmly, she was very pretty, his brother Mike made a point of reminding him he was incredibly jealous.

"I know luv," Paul smiled warmly "But it'll be over before you know."

"I start filming just before you return," she sighed.

"When are we going to have that talk?" Paul asked.

"Talk?" Jane asked knowing full well what he had meant.

"C'mon Jane," he said pulling her onto his lap "We've been together awhile now, all me mates are married, starting families....when is that going to happen for us?"

"Paul," she sighed "You know how important my career is to me"

Paul nodded sadly.

"It's not that I don't want to," she started, then hesitated "Life is just so busy for both of us"

"Yeah.." Paul said glancing into the distance, trying to see where Martha had run off to.

"Look," Jane said finally "When you're back from tour, I'll have a break in filming in late September, we can talk about it then."

Paul smiled brightly.

"It's a date," he said pressing his forehead against hers before kissing her.

New York, 12 August 1966

"It's been amazing having our own show," Eddie said as he sat at the kitchen counter, writing material to use as the emcee "But I have to say, it's really cutting into my dating life!"

"Oh quiet!" Charli laughed. She sat perched in her Lyra, she was resting after working on a routine. "You've had 3 dates with Philipe this week!"

"Yeah, but it could be 4 if I didn't have to come up with material!" Eddie laughed.

"Charli," Mina called as she entered the open area of the shared flat "When are we going to work on your new act?"

Charli groaned.

"A bet is a bet Charli," Mina laughed tossing her blond hair back.

"Mina luv," Charli said as she swung down from her Lyra "I am never drinking with you again!"

A few nights earlier, they had all been drinking. Charli and Mina made a bet on who could do more shots, which usually Charli was unbeaten, but had never gone up against Mina. If Charli lost, she had to perform a burlesque number in their next show.

"You may be from Liverpool, but my family is Scottish" Mina laughed throwing Charli what would be her costume. "You can borrow my fans as well"

"I can't wait to introduce your first ever burly performance Charli," Eddie laughed.

"Sod off!" Charli laughed as Mina showed her how to position a set of large, feather fans to tease. "I'm calling in sick!"

"Helen will kill you," Lily said entering the lounge causing Charli to jump.

"Relax!" Mina laughed "You're fully clothed"

"And it's not like it's anything new," Lily laughed.

"Pervy bastard" Charli laughed.

Lily shook his head "Honey, you wish" he said "I've been performing cabaret and burlesque for years, I've seen plenty of T&A...none of it does anything for me except give me new ideas for padding"

New York, 22 August 1966

"Ok, everyone," Helen said as she looked over a set list for the evening "Let's make this our best show yet! It's the end of summer, its hot and the city is packed! Charli, your Lyra act is closing the first act and we'll save your burlesque number for the second act"

"Or...not at all?" Charli laughed. Mina playfully smacked her shoulder.

"Hush! You have a knack for it, just wait Helen!" Mina said.

Helen smiled. "William, I want you as the show closer...and, Toni, I've got you in the first act. Do you mind also setting up at the bar for a bit of pre-show entertainment like last month?"

"Sure, Helen" Toni smiled "I've got a new song I've been working on"

"Great, Sophie you're opening the second act. Everyone else, the set list will be posted in the dressing room!" Helen said, "Don't be late for your acts!"

The performers made their way to the dressing room, carrying suitcases full of props, costumes, and other accessories.

"Eddie," Helen said quietly pulling him aside "Can I talk to you a moment?"

"Of course!" Eddie said happily.

"I didn't want to say anything to the group," she began "I don't want them to lose it, but I've just gotten a call from hotel management"

"Yeah..." Eddie said nervously, his heart was in his throat. The show the previous month had gotten a bit rowdy when a drunk man had tried to assault Mina while she was on stage and Lily promptly escorted him out roughly. He was sure, they were ending the contract with their show.

"It's nothing bad!" Helen laughed reading the worry on his face "We may have some famous visitors tonight is all, just be prepared"

"Famous?" Eddie asked raising an eyebrow.

"The Beatles are staying here before their show," she said quietly "Their manager has talked to the hotel management that they may see the show, but doesn't want word to get out before the show"

"Jesus, Helen!" Eddie said "That's huge news! And I can't tell the rest?"

"Not yet," Helen said "Plus, it'll be more fun once they figure it out"

She winked and was on her way to help arrange stage set up.

**

"I'm just glad we don't have to go through another press conference today," John sighed as he fell onto a large couch.

"I'm just glad we escaped Memphis alive," Rigo sighed recalling the drama from a few days before and secretly wishing he was back home in England.

"C'mon lads," Paul said, "We're on the last leg of our tour, we're in New York again!"

He was desperate to keep the band in good spirits, he knew the stress they were under, he felt it too and was excited to return home, but they loved New York the times they'd been before.

"I know," he said, "There's a show in the hotel, some cabaret or somethin'...grab a few bevvies..."

George sighed exasperatedly, he wasn't in the mood for Paul's pep talks and wasn't in the mood to party.

"A cabaret, ya' say Paulie?" John said with a smirk "We could see if the birds are any better than the ones back home"

"C'mon Geo, get out of yer sulk" John said nudging George who smiled slightly in return.

"Shall I inform Mr. Epstein?" Paul asked jokingly but also realising Brian would have to make special arrangements.

**

Toni sat on the bar tuning her guitar, she was dressed in men's trousers, a button-down shirt, suspenders, a bow tie and a newsboy cap.

"You are too adorable for words!" Mina said as she came out of the dressing room, her hair was still half in curlers and she wore a silk robe. Toni jumped but smiled warmly at Mina.

"My little Marlene Deitrich" Mina said hugging her warmly. Toni laughed before kissing her.

"I look nothing like Marlene Deitrich" she said.

"Course you do! Well...sort of" Mina giggled.

"Ginny! Jo Jo! The show is in 1 hour and you're only half made up" Helen said worriedly. It was an hour before showtime, which meant Helen began calling everyone by their stage names, Mina based her stage name off her favourite drink, "Ginny Tonic" while Toni opted simply for "Jo Jo"

"She's right," Toni said "You're opening the show"

"I know, I know...get the audience warmed up for me ok?" Mina said as she rushed back to the dressing room.

Toni shook her head laughing slightly as she rehearsed a new song she'd been working through.

The dressing room was buzzing with activity. Charli glanced around at her fellow performers, excited to be performing in a regular show. She smiled as she finished putting her fishnet stockings on, she bent down and picked out a small toy raccoon from the suitcase she'd packed with costumes for the show. The toy had seen better days, his fur dull and grey, one of his button eyes had long since gone missing and he slumped to one side where his stuffing had grown thin.

Charli smiled and set him at her dressing room mirror.

"Ginge," a castmate giggled "What's with the raccoon? You bring him to every show!"Those who knew Charli, "Ginger Snap" to those in the show, knew the little raccoon came to every show and had become a backstage mascot.

"His name is Rocky I'll have you know" Charli laughed back "And we're theatre people, everything has some bizarre superstition to it...he's my good luck charm."

She thought back on when she'd received Rocky, her face grew a bit melancholy.

"Gift from mumsy and daddy?" another teased as she put on her lipstick.

She scoffed "C'mon, you know the kind of gifts my parents would give me."

"A one-way ticket to a convent!" Eddie joked. She laughed slightly and looked at the raccoon again "no, he's just a gift from someone who's a memory now"

Meanwhile, patrons were starting to enter the bar, they were greeted by Lily who took the door payment and made sure those with reserved seats were taken care of and treated those without just as sweetly.

There was soft music playing in the bar as a background to when Jo Jo wasn't playing, Helen flitted about making sure everyone was taken care of and drinks ordered.

"Cor," Ringo said looking up at Lily "They make the birds a lot taller in America, don't they lads?"

Lily stopped for a moment and nearly lost his composure.

"Well aren't you adorable?" he cooed in a voice that was more feminine than masculine and had fooled many. "And as far as you're concerned, I must be an ostrich!"

John laughed loudly.

"Erm...I believe there's a table for us?" Paul said amiably.

"Of course there is," Lily said happily as Mal handed a rather large sum of bills his way. "Just let me get your change"

"Keep it" Mal smiled. Lily's eyes went wide.

"Yes, sir! I've always had a soft spot for the Brits" he winked at Mal, who in turn blushed "Helen will help you to your seats"

"Cheers," Paul said, "What was your name?"

"Pussy Control," Lily said with a wink. Both Paul and Ringo blushed.

George laughed this time "Don't think I can forget a name like that!"

"And you never will" Lily winked as Helen greeted the four lads from Liverpool.

As she guided them past the bar they recognised a familiar song, it was slowed down and sung by a female voice. The voice was slightly raspy but powerful.

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you

Tomorrow I'll miss you...

Jo Jo sang while playing her guitar, a few patrons stood and listened, she had been wrapped up in the song when she briefly glanced up.

All My Lovin', I will send to...

She stopped a moment realising there were 4 very familiar faces enjoying her song.

You...

She continued on nervously before finishing the song.

John and Ringo clapped wildly.

"That was amazing," Paul said warmly.

"Thanks.." she said "I worked on it all month...hopefully my version didn't butcher it too much"

"Of course not!" John said, "If we sounded that good, we'd be famous!"

Mal and Helen whisked them away before Helen turned to Toni  "Jo Jo, do you mind letting Ginny know she has 10 minutes?"

She nodded and made her way to the dressing room.

"Hey Charli," Sophie said as she stretched her arm behind her neck in a way that looked like something was broken "You've only told me a bit about the boy who gave you Rocky, what was he like?"

"God soph," Charli sighed as she stretched on the floor "It was a long time ago and pretty depressing! I try not to think on it too much anymore"

"Do you still miss him?" Sophie asked.

"...yes," Charli said softly "I'm trying not to though.."

"MINA!" Toni said bursting into the dressing room causing many of the girls to jump "10 minutes"

"Toni!" Mina yelled angrily "You almost made me smear my lipstick, what's up with you?"

"The Beatles!" Toni said finally "They're here!"

"You're joking!" another girl said.

Toni shook her head. "I'm not, they're really here!"

"Mina!" she grinned widely "They liked my song!"

"That's fantastic Toni!" Mina said excitedly "I told you it sounded amazing!"

Sophie and Charli looked up from their stretches at the news as the dressing room was now not only buzzing with excitement but swarming.

"Well, tonight just got interesting" Charli said stretching her shoulder.

"Everyone," Lily said entering the frenzied dressing room. No one heard him.

"HEY!" he said in a large booming voice that stopped all activity "Yes, we have important guests, but chill the fuck out! Some guests can hear you. Don't lose your cool, just put on a damn good show. Mina, backstage now!"

"I know, I know!" Mina said as she adjusted her corset.

"Thanks, Lily," Charli said holding a hand up to him for assistance off the ground.

"Christ," Lily said "That scene reminds me why I'm gay"

Charli laughed and helped Sophie up.

"You don't seem phased at all" Lily commented. Charli shrugged, in reality, her head was racing through every possible thought and memory.

"Its just another day," Charli winked "But let's give 'em hell tonight!"

"That's what I like to hear!" Eddie said entering the dressing room causing Sophie to jump.

"Soph," he said "You're on after Mina"

"How are they?!?" a petite blonde girl asked.

"The audience?" Eddie asked knowing full well who she meant "Fine....the fabs, eating. it. up!"

"Maybe one will go home with me" she giggled.

"Oh for fuck sakes, Lolly" Charli groaned "If that's all ya' bloody care about, fuck off!"

Charli stormed off making her way to the wings to watch Mina's number.

Lily looked at Eddie who nodded and made his way to the wings as well.

Charli stood alone watching Mina perform, Eddie approached her slowly.

"Hey Charli," he said quietly as Nancy Sinatra's These Boots Were Made For Walking played and Mina danced.

"Hey," Charli said not looking at her best friend.

"You alright?" he asked "You seemed pretty upset back there, Lily is worried...so is Sophie"

"I'm fine," Charli lied "It's just...why is everyone bloody falling over themselves? I don't want to hear it... it's our show...if the only reason anyone is performing is to--" she stopped.

"Hey, I know.." Eddie said putting an arm around her "I know what this show means to you, you just focus on your performance okay? You're going to knock 'em dead"

"Its not just that..." Charli said, she still hadn't told Eddie her full history and just who she knew in the audience. She stopped herself again "All this crazy shite I do...the aerial arts, circus...it saved my life"She said dodging telling her history with Paul yet again.

"I know," Eddie said "Believe me, I know. And you're going to kill it tonight"

The song ended and Mina happily made her way off stage.

"The audience is loving it tonight!" she said hugging Charli "You'll be fantastic, they're going to love you!"

Charli laughed "Mina! Get some bloody clothes on!"

Mina laughed hugging her harder "Aw! Come on...you love naked hugs!"

Soon, Mina left for the dressing room...Sophie snuck up behind Charli.

"You okay?" she asked.

"I'll be fine Soph," Charli smiled. "Kill the stage tonight"

She winked as Sophie stretched a few muscles before Eddie announced her.

The first act was nearly over, Lily had just finished her first number

"Let's give another hand for Pussy Control," Eddie said as Lily left the stage. The audience roared, none louder than the table of Liverpudlians at the front.

"She's an impossible act to follow, but if anyone can do it, it's our next performer" Eddie began "She comes to us all the way from merry England"

The audience oo'ed after Eddie made a face for them to do so.

"But we're happy she calls our stage home," he continued as the stagehands began lowering Charli's Lyra.

"As you can see behind me, she takes a bit of set up, she just can't seem to keep her feet on the ground and her head out of the clouds, I give you; Ginger Snap!" Eddie said as the audience clapped and he walked off stage.

"This should be interesting," John said leaning in to whisper to Paul as he pointed at the Lyra just as Booker T & the MG's Green Onions began playing. The next performer entered the stage, she wore a leather jacket which soon came off after a short dance before she grabbed the Lyra, and spun herself around a couple times with it before hoisting herself onto it. She also wore knee high socks with the toes cut off, hot pants and a singlet. As she hung upside down from the Lyra, Paul gasped. The face, it was the same face he'd known as a teenager, the same copper hair her friends knew her by. There were no freckles dotting her nose anymore, she still had the same curves he remembered from many nights studying them, but she was more muscular and tattooed.

"It can't be..." he said under his breath.

"I see it too," George said making him jump.

"What are ya' gits goin' on about?" John asked jokingly.

"Her!" Paul said under his breath "It's Charli!"

John frowned.

"Come off it lad, not again. I thought we moved on from that?" John said.

"Hey, keep it down, will ya's?" Ringo said finally annoyed at his mates "I want ta' watch!"

"John, look...I know it's her" Paul said near a whisper.

"Yeah, ya' can't deny it, Johnny," George said. John shot George a look, who rolled his eyes and went back to his drink.

"Not every bleeding redhead in America is Charli," John said "Let it go"

Paul ignored John and watched as the performer known only as "Ginger Snap" finished to a very enthusiastic audience.

"Ginger!" Helen said hugging Charli as she entered the dressing room "That was the best performance you've ever done! You've really mastered the Lyra and I'm so fucking proud of you! Just wait, you'll be showing off on silks soon enough!"

"Thanks, Helen," Charli smiled bashfully "I messed up the floorwork a little, I was a bit nervous...and I forgot armbands" she indicated the fresh bruises on the insides of her elbows.

Helen waved a dismissive hand "We're all nervous, its huge that we have the biggest names in the world in our audience...confidentially, one of them couldn't take his eyes off of you"

"Don't tell me that," Charli said before sitting at her mirror. The performers had a much needed rest as most began getting into their costumes for the next act.

"Charli, my dear" Lily said hugging her from behind as she smoked a cigarette. "You should hear the audience, they won't shut up about you"

"Bloody hell, Lily!" Charli laughed, realising she was in her underpants and singlet only"I'm half dressed"

"Naked hugs!" Mina said rushing over laughing.

The second act continued on, the crowd gasped at Sofie's feats of contortion. They sighed at Mina's sultry act and fell in love with Toni's voice all over again. Paul, while enjoying the show, anxiously waited for Ginger Snap's next performance.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, as your humble emcee, I am pleased to bring our show founder and director to the stage, Helen Wheels" Eddie announced.

"Thank you, Dante Inferno" Helen said taking the mic "Our next performer, I feel I need to introduce as it's her very first burlesque performance; she's been with our show from the beginning...Ginger Snap!"

The sounds of slinky strings before Nina Simone's sultry voice singing I put a spell on you began as Charli entered the stage, with a pair of ostrich feather fans covering most of her.

Paul watched anxiously as she performed, this performance showed more of her than before, she was clad in very little and every small glimpse he could catch until the final reveal confirmed what he had thought all night; it was her.

He leaned into Mal as the crowd wildly cheered and she grinned and blew a kiss to the crowd before going backstage. "Mal, I need you to get me backstage," he said.

Mal simply nodded. Mal never questioned the rules during tours with the boys, as far as anyone was concerned, on tour, they were single.

The final number received a loud round of applause and cheers as Lily made his way backstage, he wore a long black wig and was padded more than the girls who naturally had padding, he was sweaty after lipsyncing to Irma Thomas' Time is on my side.

"That was, AMAZING!" He laughed happily.

Charlie sat at her mirror smoking a cigarette happily, she wore a silk dressing gown and had been reflecting on the night happily.

"It was bloody brilliant!" She said finally.

"Charli, I'm so fucking proud of you!" Eddie said hugging her shoulders eagerly. "That did not look like a first-time burlesque number!"

The cast was chattering about the good moments of the show when Helen entered, Charli hadn't noticed as she talked excitedly with Eddie.

"Um, everyone...we have a guest," she said. There were audible gasps, Charli was oblivious as she continued laughing with Lily and Eddie.

"Um...excuse me, lovely show tonight" a soft voice spoke "I have to know..is there a girl named Charlotte McLeod in this group?"

Everyone had gone silent, Charli smirked to herself in disbelief as she turned to face him.

"Hey Paulie," She said simply.

"Oh my God," Paul said softly "It really is you"

Charli stood, she was pretty sure the room had collectively stopped breathing.

She walked to him, trying to hide the fact she was shaking. As she reached him, Paul caressed her face in disbelief at what was happening.

"I thought I'd never see you again" he said with tears in his eyes.

"Me too," Charli said trying to hold to her resolve.

"Ok!" Eddie said, "I think the rest of us are due some drinks, everyone grab your drink tickets and let's get to it before the bar closes!"

He said trying to clear the room, after a bit of prodding the cast began filing out for drinks. Eddie stopped as he reached Charli.

"And you," he whispered "have a LOT of explaining to do"

Once he was sure there was no one in the dressing room, aside from himself, Charli and Mal, he kissed her. Charli melted feeling his lips on hers again before pulling away.

"We have a lot to talk about," She said finally, she looked to Mal "I'm sorry luv, I haven't met you and hate to be rude, but could we have a few?"

Mal nodded "Its Mal and of course, Paul, I'll be just outside if ya' need anything"

Mal stepped outside leaving the two of them alone.

"I thought you'd forgotten me," Charli said before kissing him again, Paul ran his hands through her hair.

"How on earth could I forget you kitten?" he said kissing her harder. Much as every bit of her was screaming for him in that moment she stopped, "Wait...WAIT!" she said firmly "We can't do this...not now"

"What?" Paul said slightly confused and disappointed.

"I mean...you stopped writing, you have somebody new," she said trying to calm herself down, trying to stop herself.

"I had to stop writing!" he said, "I hadn't heard from you in years!"

"Wait? Years? It was years ago you stopped writing me!" she said angrily. Paul looked at her confused.

"I don't want to argue," he said "I stopped writing because I thought you had moved on"

"Moved on?!?" she said as tears spilled from her eyes "I was still madly in love with you then...I've convinced myself I'm not because it's fucking silly!"

"Silly?" Paul said angrily "Silly? Everything we had was silly? And what about you, I kept writing for years but only ever heard from you once in that time!"

Charli's head hurt, she didn't want to have this discussion, she knew something was wrong.

"Its probably your fucking parents" Paul said calming down. She thought a moment, he could be right, but she was still reeling from the night.

"Look, Paul," she said tiredly "I don't want to argue...I really don't...I was so heartbroken when I didn't hear from you, I've been through Hell and back since then...I miss you"

She said as her arms went around him for comfort. He embraced her back, all the coldness she'd built up began to melt.

"I missed you too," he said.

"What's going on with the scars luv?" Paul asked tracing a finger along her arm where a few faint white lines remained. They'd spent nearly an hour talking, she'd told him about her past with addiction, her parents beatings, her new friends and her new life.

Charli shrugged "Better than the alternative," she said "For a long time, I wanted to end it all....taking it out on myself was a way to not kill myself, but to dull the hurt"

Paul sighed. "I'm sorry luv," he said, "I wish I'd been there..."

She shrugged again.

"And the tattoos?" he asked. Charli smirked.

"Its pain, but the result makes me beautiful again," she said.

"You're always beautiful," Paul said pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You're saying you don't like them?" she said sarcastically.

"I never said that!" he laughed "I like magpies, but you need a second one..."

"Haven't found my second magpie yet," she said taking a drag from her cigarette. Eddie, Sophie, and Lily had come back into the dressing room.

"I need to see you again, Charli," Paul said finally, realising their time would be cut short.

"Well, tomorrow's me birthday...as you should know," Charli said hopping off the dressing room table she'd been perched on "If you want to continue this conversation, turn up at this address tomorrow night"

She wrote down her address on a small piece of paper.

"Our concert is tomorrow night," Paul said, "I think me manager would kill me if I tried"

"If you give a shite about anything we had," she said "You'll be there"

"Paul," Mal said "We really should be going, the others are already back in the room and Bri is pacing the floors wondering about ya's"

"I'll see you tomorrow" Charli said kissing him one last time "You owe me a few birthdays"

Paul stood dumbstruck as Mal said their goodbyes and led him out.

"Ok, Charli," Eddie said sitting on a chair nearby as Lily and Sophie gathered around "Talk."

"Get me a drink," she said "And I'll tell you everything"

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https://youtu.be/ua2k52n_Bvw

A/N: YAY!  They finally see each other again!  But will it be the last? no...that would be pretty shit of me ;)  

So, there are a few fun little music references in here (Pussy Control is my favourite Prince song, Toni's rendition of All My Lovin' is similar to Amy Winhouse's cover of the song in my mind and a few other bits and bobs).

Anyway, I was a bit excited to get this one written and it was a fun one, Charli seems a little cold but keep in mind, she had given up and moved on a year before.  Also, the anxiety at the beginning will obviously come into play more.  

Thanks as always for the comments, votes and love.  It really means the universe to me :D