Asleep

TRIGGER WARNING: Abuse

"Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep....there is another world, there is a better world" - Asleep ~ The Smiths

October/November 1959

It was late autumn in Liverpool. The weather had become much colder, school had been back in session for some time. There had been more shows at The Casbah Club, more nights out with Jenny, Claudia, and Neville. Charli had snuck out more and there had been many more nights she and Paul spent together. With Charli's growing rebellious spirit, there had also been more disagreements and violence in her family life.

"At least they're letting you wear makeup like a big girl now" Jenny teased as they walked through a park nearby their school.

"Yeah," Charli scoffed grabbing a cigarette from Jenny, "I think its just so they can make sure if I have any bruises they're covered. Can't possibly turn up to church with a beat up face"

Jenny had noticed Charli had recently become more jaded towards her parents, she wasn't as fearful as she'd been a couple years before.

"You don't seem to let it affect you anymore," Jenny said. Charli shrugged.

"It still hurts, it still upsets me, but it pisses me off," she said "I don't know if he thinks it's going to bring me closer to God or what...but it's not working"

Jenny shook her head. She couldn't wait until they were out of school, Paul and Charli often spoke about it, the 3 spoke at great length, they'd all move into a flat together working on music, art and enjoying life.

"Onto happier things, how many times have you and Paul slept together?" Jenny grinned.

"Do you mean actual sleep or..." Charli laughed exhaling her ciggie.

"Oh come off it, you know what I mean!" Jenny laughed.

"It's not like I'm keeping a bloody tally or anything, but at least after every Casbah night," she laughed. "I don't know how to describe it, Jen, even just sleeping next to him...I feel closer to him than ever." she continued and blushed as she said it.  She shook her head laughing at herself, she'd never been one to admit anything of the sort.

"Hey, what's happening with you and Neville??" Charli asked quickly changing the topic. Jenny blushed.

"What was that? You never blush over boys!" Charli laughed nearly falling off the swing she was sitting on.

"Sod off!" Jenny laughed "We like each other...a lot"

"Aw...wee Jen is growing up" Charli poked fun. "Oh! What time is it? I don't wanna' miss art..that's the one subject I actually excel at"

"Relax, we have plenty of time...besides weren't we meeting the lads?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah, but Paul knows if he doesn't bail before I leave for art class he doesn't get to see me until tonight" Charli explained. They heard the familiar voices of Paul and George laughing together no sooner than Charli had explained this.

"Speaking of the lads," Jenny said.

"'Ello girls," Paul said as they arrived. "Just me and George today...Neville couldn't make it out," he turned to Jenny "Sorry Jen"

"Its alright" Jenny said "George and I can chat...I don't always need a snog session, unlike some people"

"Sod off Jenny!" Charli laughed as Paul's arms went around her.

"Right, wanna' go for a walk, Jenny?" George asked "I can tell ya' the songs we're playing at the next Casbah show"

"Sure George!" Jenny said amiably "I can tell when we're not wanted"

They both laughed. Paul shook his head watching after them. Charli rolled her eyes.

He smiled at Charli "How's school today?"

"Boring.." she said rolling her eyes "You?""About the same really" he laughed. "You didn't get into too much trouble for this weekend did ya'?"

"Same amount as usual," she shrugged. Paul frowned.

"He didn't hit you, did he?" he asked. Charli sighed, she hated worrying Paul so much, but she couldn't hide from him. She rolled up the sleeve of her school uniform jacket revealing bruises across her arm, distinctly hand shaped, as if something large had grabbed her too tightly. Which was exactly what had happened.

"That's the worst of it," she said "the rest I think I covered with makeup"

She indicated a bruise at her jawline where her father had grabbed her face, it wasn't something she wanted to remember as he'd screamed at her, calling her things she didn't want to think on.

Paul held her close and that was all it took for her tough girl facade to crack, she cried into his coat softly.

"I'm just so tired Paul," she said softly.

"I know kitten," he said stroking her hair "It'll be alright someday, I promise."

"Sorry," she said wiping at her eyes carefully "I'll be okay, things will get better"

"No need to apologise luv, did you want to come over after class?" he asked "Just for a kip, or we could do other things" he added raising his eyebrows suggestively. Charli blushed and laughed.

"Yeah," she agreed "That would be nice, especially the sleep"

Charli hadn't been sleeping well and was prone to panic attacks at any sound during the night, the few times she did sleep were after school at Paul's home.

"Glad to know I tire you out" Paul laughed before kissing her.

Little did they know, they were being watched.

Jenny and Charli walked back to class, laughing at whatever they could."Hey Jen, you don't mind covering for me?" Charli asked "I feel bad, really"

"Stop it!" Jenny chided "As long as once in awhile, you remember me and we have our girl time, I don't care. 'Sides, you need the sleep this afternoon. I think Mr. Abernathy will murder ya' if you fall asleep in class one more time. I get my time with you this weekend though!"

"You're the best luv" Charli smiled.

"I know," Jenny grinned "Now, let's get a move on. I promised Claudia we'd catch up before class"

"You just want to ask her about Neville" Charli teased.

"I know about you Charlotte..." a voice came up behind them. Charli knew the voice instantly.

"What on earth are you talking about Sally?" she asked as the blonde came up next to them. Charli didn't even look at her.

"I saw you..." Sally said.

"Good to know your eyes are in perfect condition.." Charli said still not looking at her.

"I mean, I saw you and him together," she said.

Charli stopped and faced her, startling Sally. Much as Sally wanted to see Charli in trouble after she'd changed so much from their childhood, she was afraid of Charli.

"Oh really?" Charli said crossing her arms "That means you would have skipped and I'm sure that would sit really well with your parents"

"I followed you, to see why you keep leaving school," she said trying to justify herself. "And I will tell your parents you were together"

Charli moved in closer, cornering Sally.

"Do you have any idea what happens when you rat on me? Any idea what has been happening since childhood?" Charli said angrily.

"Maybe if you would just behave..." Sally started. Charli moved again ready for a fight. Jenny stopped her.

"C'mon Charli," she said placing a hand on her shoulder "It's not worth it, plus she'll never tell if she knows what's good for her"

Charli stared angrily at Sally again before listening to Jenny and moving on.

Later that afternoon, Paul and Charli walked home together. The air was crisp and cold, they talked about art and music mostly, Paul had avoided talking about her home life unless she brought it up most afternoons.

Soon they reached the McCartney house, noticing James McCartney's car parked outside.

"Da' must be home early, give me a mo luv" Paul smiled at her. Charli smiled and waited on the front step.

"Hi Da'," Paul greeted as he walked in the house "Home early from work?"

"Hi Paulie," James smiled from his chair in the front room "Yeah, wasn't feeling well this afternoon...must be catching cold"

Paul nodded. Normally, James was at work which gave Paul and Charli time alone. He knew she really needed sleep and wouldn't sleep in her own house very well.

"Hey da'," he started nervously "I've got Charli outside waiting"

"Well, bring her inside!" James said before Paul could finish "Far too cold to leave the poor girl outside!"

Paul approached his father "Da', she really needs sleep" he said sadly "We've been having a kip after school together"

James raised his eyebrows suspiciously "Really" he said eying his son "Paul, don't lie to me"

"I'm not!" he said shaking his head "She's been so exhausted and she can't sleep at home"

James noticed the sadness in his son's eyes.

"Is there a reason she isn't sleeping?" James asked. Paul nodded.

"Da'...Mr. McLeod hits her" he said finally. He didn't want to say anything, but he had to. "Not like the smack upside the head you give me and Mikey when we've done something stupid...and she won't admit it, but I think it's getting worse"

"Paul, why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I'm so afraid of what's going to happen to her dad," Paul said quietly. James regarded him a moment.

"Alright Paulie," he said "bring her inside, don't want her catching cold out there. I'll wake ya's before she needs to be home for dinner"

"Thanks Da'" Paul smiled weakly.

Soon, Charli was inside the warm house and they made their way upstairs to Paul's room.

"Obviously, we can't do anything fun since Dad's home" Paul laughed softly as he closed the door. His arms went around Charli almost immediately.

"That's okay luv," she said "I hate to say it, I'm too tired anyway"

She yawned suddenly.

"Let's get some sleep then, huh?" Paul said. The two crawled into Paul's bed, Charli rested her head on his chest. Just listening to him breathe started soothing her.

"Sing me to sleep luv," she said tiredly. Paul smiled, he'd been working on a song that he hadn't yet shown to the band.

I give her all my loveThat's all I do

And if you saw my love

You'd love her too

I love her

He looked to Charli to see she'd already fallen asleep.

"Sleep tight luv," he said stroking her hair.

A few days had gone by, Charli and Jenny walked the hallways of their school, talking about their weekend plans and classes.

"Slag!" they heard a voice call. Jenny knew exactly who it was, she turned to face the voice that had called out.

"Beg your pardon, Emily? Shouldn't be talking about yourself that way so loudly" Jenny said facing the strawberry blond haired girl who made the accusation. Emily Halliwell was a year ahead of Jenny and Charli, she was the most popular girl in the school a group of her friends giggled after she'd made the remark.

"You know full well I meant you, Jamison," she said to Jenny "How many guys have you fucked this year? At least 2 before school even began"

"Have you really got nothing better to do than keep track of others' sex lives?" Charli retorted.

"Shut it Charli!" She said angrily "Everyone knows the only reason McCartney is interested in you is because you've got tits and arse"

Charli tried covering, she wasn't the most endowed girl in school, but for her size, it showed. She then became bold again

"At least I grew some!" she said. Jenny laughed harder than she should have, a couple of Emily's friends stifled giggles. Charli then noticed Sally amongst her Emily's friends.

"Look at you Sally, moving up in the world" Charli laughed.

"We appreciate little Sally," Emily said "Plus...she told us all about you and Paul, snogging at the park"

Charli glared at Sally.

"Aw...poor Emily...seething with jealousy, that's why you're so nasty, isn't it?" Jenny said.

"At least I still have both my parents...unlike you and your whore mother," Emily said.

"Take that back!" Jenny yelled. She'd remained cool until that remark, her face went red with anger as she clenched her fists together, Charli tried holding her back."Jenny, don't." she whispered "you know it's not true"

"I don't think I will, maybe if your mum hadn't been such a slag...your little brother wouldn't be such a retard" Emily laughed.

"Don't worry, I'll pray for him" Sally laughed in turn. It was then, Charli lost her cool. Both she and Jenny lashed out at the girls.

"DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY LIKE THAT!!" Jenny screamed punching Emily in the eye. Charli slammed Sally against a wall and held her there.

"You really think anyone likes you? All you do is latch onto others who put up with your shite!" She yelled. She heard Jenny yelp in pain, she let go of Sally to help Jenny with the other girls.

The corridor became loud with the screams from the fight and those around, suddenly Claudia was there "Jenny! Charli! RUN!  We'll take care of this!" she said as more of the Teddy girls appeared to end the fight.Jenny and Charli ran out of the school. They stood by a tree just outside the school, both breathing heavy.

Both were bruised but looked far better than the other girls in the fight. Suddenly, Jenny began crying. She fell to her knees and sobbed. Charli crouched down next to her.

"It's just not fair!" Jenny sobbed "Nobody cares about us...my mum works so hard...she had to leave my da'....and my brother.." she cried harder.

Charli sat on the ground and held her best friend close, letting her cry.

"I don't understand it either Jen, I guess some people just are stupid when they don't know other peoples' situations," she said.

Jenny still crying, held onto Charli.

"Thank you for being my friend Charli," she sobbed again "You've never made me feel like I'm less of a person"

Jenny was known to be tough, this was the first time Charli had ever seen her cry. Not long after, Claudia and her friends came outside in good spirits until they found Jenny and Charli. Jenny tried stopping her tears, not wanting to appear weak in front of anyone, much less the older Teddy girls.

Claudia sat down with them, "Aw, Jen" she said "Its alright luv"

"Yeah, I know...its just...she said things 'bout me mum...and..and" Jenny stopped herself before she started crying again.

"They called Simon a retard," Charli said angrily.

"Bitches!" Claudia said.

"We set 'em straight for ya's" another girl said as she offered them ciggies.

"Yeah, 'sides..Emily is just an insecure rich brat...that's why she says those things" the biggest of the group added.

"Hey, I think what your mum did took a LOT of courage," Claudia said exhaling a cigarette "Not many women would leave their husband after all that"

When Jenny's mum was pregnant with Simon, they learned early on, he might have problems. Jenny's father accused her mother of sleeping around as it couldn't possibly be his and tried forcing her to abort the baby. Jenny's mum turned around and divorced him and never looked back. Jenny wanted nothing to do with her father after that. Jenny smiled weakly.

The door to the school opened, a large woman stepped outside and found the group of girls.

"Jenny, Charlotte," she said, "I think you had better come with me"

"Aw, miss..they didn't start it" the largest of the Teddy girls protested.

"That's all well and good April, I'll deal with you lot later," she said looking to Claudia and her friends.

They sat in a large office opposite Emily and Sally who were crying.

"I've called your parents here," the headmistress said. "I won't have fighting in my school, now I think before they get here you should tell me what happened."

"They started it ma'am" Emily sobbed into a monogrammed hanky "I just called out to say 'hello' and they lashed out"

"You're such a liar!" Jenny said angrily "If you think calling someone 'slag' is saying 'hello' you have a funny way of greeting people!"

"Watch your language Jennifer" the headmistress, Mrs. Pettigrew said.

"It's what she said!" Charli added.

"I would never!" Emily said giving fake puppy dog eyes. The door opened and Miss Jamison entered.

"I came as soon as I heard," She said looking disapprovingly at Jenny.

"Mum, where's Simon?" Jenny asked worriedly.

"He's with Mrs. O'Reilly...he's fine" she answered. Miss Jamison seemed upset.

"Thank you for joining us, Lucinda," Mrs. Pettigrew said "We're just waiting for the McLeods and the Prescotts, sorry Emily, but your parents said they couldn't make it"

Charli cringed at the mention of her parents, Jenny gripped her hand tight and mouthed "It'll be okay".

Once the McLeods and the Prescotts arrived, Mrs. Pettigrew began.

"Welcome all," she said from her desk "Thank you for coming. I do wish we were meeting under better circumstances...unfortunately, there was a fight this afternoon between your daughters. Now, as you will all be aware Liverpool Institute High School for Girls has a very strict no fighting policy, so I want to ensure this doesn't happen again"

"I can assure you, Mrs. Pettigrew, Charlotte won't ever cause this sort of thing again. Isn't that right?" Mr. McLeod said gripping her shoulder tight. Charli bit her lip, she knew what would happen when they got home. She then did something unexpected.

"But Da', Emily said horrible things about Jenny's mother and brother...and...and Sally, she added to it" Charli blurted out.

"I simply said I would pray for him," Sally said innocently.

"Don't play at that! You laughed as you said it" Charli bit.

"Our little Sally wouldn't be so mean, I'm sure she was sincere," Mr. Prescott said "And frankly, as of late Mr. McLeod, Charlotte has been behaving far from ladylike"

"I agree Mr. Prescott," her father said. Charli felt her heart drop, she looked to see Miss Jamison shake her head sadly.

"It's ever since she started dating that McCartney boy," Sally said. Charli went pale, Jenny jumped to her feet as Miss Jamison put a hand on her shoulder, gently guiding her back into her seat. Emily smirked wickedly at the events unfolding.

"She what??" Mrs. McLeod shouted.

"It's true!" Sally said "I saw them together, I'm sorry mummy and daddy, I snuck out of class...but I was worried about Charlotte"

"It's okay Sally dearie," her mother cooed "We know you meant well"

Sally sat down looking satisfied in herself, Charli was shaking.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" she whispered low. Sally simply smiled. Charli looked to Jenny helplessly, Jenny looked to the ground. Again, she grabbed Charli's hand and squeezed it tight. Tears formed in Charli's eyes, she knew this wasn't going to end well.

"I have never been so disappointed in my life" Mr. McLeod seethed as he closed the door to the house. Charli didn't cringe away from him even though she knew what was coming.

"Picking fights? I can't believe you!" Her mother shouted. "We raised you better than that"

"What they said about Jenny's family was horrible!" Charli said angrily.

"No excuses, Charlotte!" her father shouted, "The Jamisons are enough trouble as is!"

"If she'd just stayed with her husband and prayed, her son wouldn't be so..abnormal" Mrs. McLeod said angrily.

"HE'S NOT ABNORMAL! SIMON IS PERFECTLY FINE!" Charli screamed. Mr. McLeod grabbed Charli's neck

"You apologise to your mother right now!" he shouted angrily before dropping her to the ground. Charli gasped for air. "Never in my life have I seen so much disrespect".

Then, the revelation from earlier that afternoon hit him, he picked Charli up roughly by her arm...she felt something in her shoulder pop and winced in pain.

"What's this about you and McCartney's boy" he grabbed both her shoulders shaking her violently.

"What have we said about dating?" Her mother yelled

"Not only that, what have I told you about that boy?" Mr. McLeod demanded.

"You were fine with him when were kids," Charli said hoarsly.

"That was before you developed the body of a jezabel," he said angrily, His hand grabbed at her face again, over the already fresh bruises at her jaw "and if you're going to give it up so easily to be his whore.."

"I'M NOT A WHORE!" she screamed "I love him alright?!?"

He struck her face and threw her to the ground, then struck her over and over screaming at her.

"That's it!" he said as he got up "I'm going to have a chat with Mr. McCartney and his son"Charli remained on the floor in agony, "Dad..don't..." she said quietly.

"Go to your room!" he said as he walked to the door "Now! I don't want to see you when I get back"

Charli picked herself up, every movement caused pain. "Don't tell me to read me passages mum...I'm not going to anyway" she winced. Her mother shook her head "Lord have mercy on her soul" she sighed.

Charli eventually reached her room, she glanced at herself in her small vanity mirror. Her left eye was black, her nose was bleeding. She had bruises at her neck and jaw. Seeing herself like that, realising her father was on his way to confront Paul and his father she sobbed. For the first time since everything had happened, she sobbed.

Mr. McLeod angrily made his way to the McCartney house. Upon arriving, he pounded on the door.

Mr. McCartney answered the door "Joe! To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked warmly.

"Where is your son?" Mr. McLeod said barely looking at James.

"Well, Mikey is upstairs...if you're looking for Paul, he's out with his mates," James said calmly.

"Are you aware he's been dating my daughter?" Mr. McLeod said with clenched fists.

"Yes, sir. I'm quite aware, and if you've come here looking to discuss this with him with your fists" James said noting Mr. McLeod's fists "Then you'd best be on your way"

"He is forbidden from seeing her ever again," Mr. McLeod said angrily.

"I'll let him know, but I doubt that is going to help the situation," James said "The more you tell them they can't see each other, the more they'll find a way"

"Don't tell me how to raise my child James, and keep yours away from her," he said before storming off back home.

It was nearly 2am...Charli laid awake in bed. She couldn't sleep again, she'd already decided she wasn't going to school the next day. She sat up and began drawing. A half hour later, there was a light tap at her window. She knew it would be Paul, she opened the window but hid herself under her blanket.

"I don't want you to see me this way," she said sadly.

"Charli luv," he said leaning inside the window "I don't care. I want to see you. Dad told me your Da' stopped by..and what he said...I couldn't sleep, I had to see you luv"

She pulled back the blanket.

"I'm so sorry luv," he said upon seeing her face "You don't deserve this"

He climbed inside the window and sat with her on her bed holding her, she cried to him softly so to not wake her parents.

"Everything just aches Paul," she said finally "and I can't sleep. I don't want ta' lose you"

"You won't luv," he said with tears in his eyes. "Do you want me to stay with you until you're asleep?"

"If they find you..." she said worriedly.

"You always lock your door, and if he wants to confront me. I can manage" Paul said. She nodded finally. He tucked her in.

"I love you Charli," he said softly. She smiled finally.

Once she was asleep, Paul caught a glimpse of her sketchbook. She'd drawn a girl, trapped in a cage, hugging her knees to herself. The cage was hanging by a rope that was frayed and below were sharks swimming. Just outside the cage was a bird, that looked like it was trying to free the girl inside the cage. He wiped at his eyes before kissing her cheek "I promise, life will be better"

Paul walked the silent streets of Liverpool that night, he couldn't stop the tears in his eyes from falling nor did he try.

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A/N:  Right, so I'm back from holiday (we landed today) and jetlagged like mad, so if the editing is less than stellar...you'll know why ;), but wanted to update since people have been patient and awesome!

I actually, had to take a break after writing this chapter.  I'll hopefully have another update soon, once I'm recovered.

Thanks as always for the votes and commets!!

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