Chapter Sixty-Nine: Bullcrap

~~~SPOILER ALERT!!! SEASON 4 STARTS NOW~~~

Dear Riley,

Today is day 185. It feels more like ten years. Joyce says time is funny like that. Emotions can make it speed up or slow down. We are all time travelers if you think about it. For example, this week is going very fast. I think because I am so busy. I have to make something called a visual aid. We have to do a presentation about our hero, but I chose two.

 I'm doing mine about you and Dad, so I made a diorama of the cabin. I hope Mrs. Gracey will give me an A, and I hope you will get to see it one day. Some exciting news, Joyce got an amazing new job. She gets to work at home. She says she loves the 'freedom'. Will is painting a lot, but he won't show me what he's working on. Maybe it is for a girl. I think there is someone he likes, because he has been acting...weird.

Jonathan is acting weird also. I think he is just nervous about college. He is still waiting for his big letter. I hope he and Nancy get to go together. But I don't know how he'll ever get to college, because his car is still broken. He tried those maintenance tricks you told him about, but they didn't work. I don't think he is as good at fixing cars as you are. His funny friend, Argyle, has been taking us to school. His hair is longer than mine.

He and Jonathan like to smoke smelly plants together. Jonathan says the plants are super safe because they come from the earth, but to not tell Joyce. Me? I am twice as happy now. You and Mike were right. It just takes time. I think I have finally adapted. At first, I missed all the spring flowers, like the ones you used to pick for me on your way home. But now I find it pretty here too. I think they use flowers in weddings, so we should pick you some Hawkins spring flowers when you and Steve finally get married. 

 I even like school now. I am still best at Math, but my grammar is getting good now also. It helps that everyone is so nice here. I have made lots of friends. Even so, I am ready for spring break, mostly because I get to see Mike. I am so excited to see him, it is hard to breathe. I think he will love it here, like me. I think we will have the best spring break ever. 

I still miss you a lot. I wish you were coming with Mike over Spring Break, but I know that you have to work so that you and Steve can pay for your apartment. You're officially an adult now, which is really cool. I am hoping that Joyce will let me come and stay with you over the summer. Every time I ask, she says we'll see, which Will and Jonathan say means no, but I'm holding onto hope.

I hope my spelling was better this time. I love you. Tell Steve I said hello.

Love, El.

I smiled, folding the letter, which was written neatly on paper with little rainbows at the bottom, before slipping it back into its envelope and walking into the living room. I pulled a shoe box off of my bookshelf, putting El's letter with all of the others that she'd written me over the last several months. We talked on the phone sometimes, but I think she likes seeing her new grammatical skills written out on paper, so we've been exchanging letters instead. Plus, it means we both have something tangible, that the other person has touched, so it feels like we're still together, even though we're not. 

"Hey Steve!" I called, putting the box back and walking over to poke my head in our bedroom door. Steve was still laying in bed, shirtless as always, drooling on his pillow. I laughed at this, grabbing my polaroid camera from my nightstand and putting it close to his face before snapping a picture.

The flash caused him to wake up with a start, which I laughed at as I stood up on the bed and took the photo out of the slot, shaking it so that it would develop. 

"You're going to burn that." He said, pointing a finger at me as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"No, actually, I think I'll add it to the photo album," I told him, "Or maybe, I'll just send it to El with my response letter for safe keeping!" I went to run away, but he grabbed my ankle, pulling it out from under me so that I fell backwards on the bed. I laughed, fighting to get away from him, but he wrapped an arm around my waist and used his other hand to reach for the photo, which I was holding as far away from him as possible. 

"Give. Me. that!" He struggled. I managed to roll off of the bed, freeing myself from his grasp and running back into the living room.

"Come on! You have to get up anyway, we're driving Robin to school today, remember?" I quickly slipped the polaroid into the pocket of my Family Video vest before walking into the kitchen and scooping food onto a plate for Steve and myself. He came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and running his hands through his hair as I handed it to him. 

"I really want to be annoyed at you right now, but the idea that my fiancé made me breakfast, is crazy hot." I rolled my eyes, sitting down at the table with my own plate and beginning to eat. 

"Eleven says hi, by the way," I told him, "She says she's adjusting to school and making lots of new friends."

"Do you believe her?" He asked, though a mouthful of eggs. I shook my head.

"Nope. Not even a little bit, but...she has Will, Jonathan, and Joyce, so, I'm hoping that they're helping her through it. Plus she gets to see Mike soon, so, that'll help I'm sure." I sighed, resting my hand in my chin. "I just...ugh, its so frustrating, knowing that he'll be there with her while I'm stuck here at work. I miss her so much."

"I know you do," Steve said sympathetically, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand, "But we need all the hours we can get right now. Not only do we have to make rent, build up some savings so that El can come live with us, plus we're trying to afford a wedding, which, I don't know if you realized it, are pretty expensive."

"Its not that expensive, Steve. Its not like we have that many friends," I pointed out, "But you're right, and I know that you're right. And I love that we're building our life together, I really do, I just...it kills me that she's across the country, and if something happens I can't be there, at least not quickly. Its not right that we're not together."

"It'll happen before you know it, ok? We just have to keep working for it, and we'll make it happen. I promise." I smiled.

"You know how much this means to me, right? You working so hard for me and for Eleven...Its incredibly sweet."

"Well, what are future husbands for?" He smiled dopily and me and I laughed, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to his mouth. "Love you."

"Love you too." 

~~~

"No! No, we are not having this conversation again!" I shouted from behind the wheel of my truck. "Christopher Platten does not have a crush on me!"

"He so does, and you know it, Barbie. Robin, you've seen the guy, please inform me fiancé that this chucklehead is totally hitting on her." Steve tried. Robin didn't answer, as she was sitting on the other side of Steve, attempting to use my side mirror to apply her mascara. "Robin, are you listening to me?!"

"Yes, I'm listening to you!" She lied, putting the cap back on.

"What did I just say?"

"Something about hitting on Christopher."

"No! I'm talking about Riley and how Christopher is hitting on her all the time!" 

"Cut me some slack please!" She exclaimed.

"Well-"

"Your little lovers quarrels are of labyrinthine complexity for everyone except the two of you, it is 7:00 in the morning, we have to go to this stupid pep rally-"

"Oh-"

"And I woke up looking like a total corpse!"

"You don't look like a corpse." I assured her. 

"You're worried about a basketball pep rally? you expect us to believe that?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, so?"

"So, we all know what this is about."

"Oh for sure, no question." I agreed. 

"Ok? I'm not buying that bullcrap, this is about Vickie."

"Totally about Vickie."

"Absolutely not." She denied. 

"Yes it is! And you know what else i think?"

"I don't care-"

"I think you've gotta stop pretending to be someone else when you're around her, ok? You just gotta be yourself."

"You're literally quoting me to me, you do realize that." She shot back.

"Well, you give good advice, maybe you should take it!" I exclaimed, leaning over Steve to glance at her. 

"Yeah, you ever think about that smarty pants?" Steve questioned. "I listened to you and now look at me. Boom, back in business, Riley and I are going stronger than ever!"

"Ain't that the truth." I reached over and Steve high-fived me.

"That is not the same thing," Robin told us, "You two ask someone out, they say no. Big deal. Nothing happens. Maybe your egos are a little bruised, but bam, I ask out the wrong girl and bam, I am a town pariah!"

"You know, its really not that bad," I told her, "being the town pariah? You get used to it, you really do."

"I'd buy that," Steve said, ignoring me, "except that Vickie is definitely not the wrong girl."

"We just don't know that, do we?" 

"Oh, but we do." I said.

"She returned Fast Times paused at fifty-three minutes, five seconds. Do you know who pauses Fast Times at fifty-three minutes, 5 seconds?"

He asked this question, but despite the fact that Robin and I both knew the answer to this, neither of us was willing to actually say it.

"People who like boobies, Robin!"

"Ok..." I said.

"Ew, gross, don't say boobies."

"Boobies. Its not a big deal, ok? I like boobies, you like boobies, Christopher Platten definitely likes boobies, so long as their attached to my fiancé-"

"Oh my GOSH! Why?! Why do you need to go there?!" I shouted. 

"Because, I've looked at you Barbie, and I've looked at him looking at you, and I know where the male gaze tends to gravitate-"

"EW!"

"STEVE!" I scolded.

"VICKIE LIKES BOOBIES, OK?! That is the point I'm trying to make." I shook my head, looking out the window to try and hide the way my blush was creeping up the back of my neck. "Are you blushing, Barbie?"

"Shut up. Don't talk to me." I said, refusing to look at him. 

~~~

Once we pulled up to the school, Robin grabbed her stuff from the back seat and then ran to catch up with her school friends. I watched her go as Steve scooted over into the passenger's seat, but my attention was quickly pulled off of her as I spotted Max getting off of the bus. 

Things had been...difficult for Max over the past few months. She had broken up with Lucas permanently after everything that had happened with Billy, and from what the boys tell me, she's kind of...shut down. I'm sure it would help if El was here, being her only female friend, but since she isn't, I've been meaning to talk to her.

"Hey, one sec." I said, opening the door and climbing out of the truck.

"Wait, where are you going? We're gonna be late." Steve said.

"It'll be fine, just give me a minute." I closed my door behind me, jogging up to Max 

"Max! Hey, Max!" I grabbed her shoulder, causing her to whirl around and take her headphones off of her ears. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked dryly. 

"Steve and I were giving Robin a ride to school before we head to the store." I said, lightly pulling on my Family movie vest. "I've been calling your house, but you never pick-up."

"Yeah, well I don't like to be there if I can avoid it." She said, turning to walk towards the school building again. 

"Well then, maybe you should stop by the apartment sometime," I suggested, "I could make dinner, we could talk-"

"Oh my gosh, stop," She said, stopping and turning to look at me, "I get this enough from Lucas and the school Counseller, I do not need it from you. I am fine, everything is fine, so stop worrying about it. People grow up, people change-"

"Do not pull this bullcrap on me, Max." I said. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, I was trying to take the caring, sympathetic approach, and I do care and sympathize with your situation probably better than anyone, but I can be direct if that's what you want. Don't sit here and tell me that you're fine and you're just growing up, because I know that move, kid. I practically invented it. Its part of the reason I spent a year in silence after everything that went down, so I wouldn't have to explain to everyone why it felt like my life was falling apart, but you can't fix it if you lie to everyone and pretend your trauma doesn't exist."

"I'm not pretending," She shot back, "I'm sorry not all of us have a super-cop Dad or a doting boyfriend to dump all of our problems on."

"You did, actually, in case you forgot," I pointed out, "But you pushed him away, because you knew he'd force you to deal with your issues. I get it Max, I really do, and when it comes to loss like this, no one is going to understand how you feel better than I do, but I can't force you. I just wanted to give you the option, ok? Because I care? Because I'm your friend, and I see you as a sister just like El, and I don't want you to have to be alone in this. Because I was, for a long time, and it sucked so just...know that I'm here if you need me, ok?"

She sighed, grabbing her headphones to put them back into place.

"Duly  noted." She said, doing just that before turning around and stalking back towards the school. I sighed, feeling slightly guilty for talking to her the way I did, but Max is not the type for weepy compassion. The best approach for her is to tell it like it is and let her do with that information what she will. 

I stalked back to the car, climbing into the driver's seat again.

"What was that about?" Steve asked, glancing between me and the still retreating Max Mayfield. I shook my head.

"Nothing, just...an overly traumatized, big sister's job is never done." I said, starting up the truck again and pulling out of the parking lot. 

"Are you ok?" He asked. I nodded. "Is she?"

"I don't know," I answered, "But I can't force her to let people in. Its a decision she has to make for herself."

"Yeah, well, you certainly learned that the hard way." I shot him a look. "Oh come on Barbie. You of all people remember how long it took to get you to open up to me. Remember Halloween? You avoided me like the plague and then showed up at my house in the middle of the night and gave me an info dump on all the trauma you'd faced in your life."

Dump...there's that word again. I wonder if there's a reason for that...Maybe Max had a point.

Do I just run around dumping my problems on other people? Should I be more independent in that regard?

"Yeah, I recall," I said, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, "I was there, remember?"