Chapter Fifty-Eight: Morons

They injected me with the substance too, and I must have passed out, because when I opened my eyes, the guards were gone.

"Honestly, I don't really feel anything." Steve said suddenly. "Do you?"

"I feel fine. I feel the same, pretty much."

"Yeah, I feel fine. I kinda feel good." He said, his words slurring. This made both of us burst out laughing.

"You wanna know a secret?" I asked.

"What?"

"I like it too!" We both laughed and I leaned my head back against his.

"Morons, they messed up the drug!"

"They screwed up! They had one job and they could do that." Steve leaned his head forward, causing mine to fall back against his neck as we both laughed. "Morons!'

"Morons!'

"Hey Morons!"

"Whoa-oh!" I began giggling uncontrollably.

"There's definitely something up here. I think they've definitely drugged us with something." I giggled. "We are not ok."

"Something's wrong."

The door opened again and the soldiers came back in, along with the Doctor. I raised my eyebrows.

"Ooh, so serious. We didn't do it, I promise!" I said loopily.  I looked over at the Doctor, watching as he laid a bunch of scary instruments on the tray table, including a bone saw. "Would now be a good time to tell you that I don't like Doctors? Especially creepy bald ones in underground facilities, they're the worst."

"Lets try this again, yes?"

"Sure, go for it, if you think it'll help. But we're telling you the truth bucko."

"Who do you work for?" The man asked.

"Scoops," Steve said, causing us both to laugh, "Scoops Ahoy."

"How did you find us?"

"Totally by accident." He said something in Russian to the Doctor, and he picked up an instrument. "What is that shiny little toy?"

"Where are you going with that, Doc?" I looked over my shoulder as he grabbed Steve's hand, pinching his fingernail with it.

"Whoa, whoa, hey hey! Wait! No! Wait! Wait! 

"It was a code, there was a code, we heard a code!" I screamed, before they could pull Steve's fingernails out of his fingers.

"Code." The man repeated, walking around to me. "What code?"

"The week is long, the silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. Blah, blah, blah. You broadcast your cute little secret spy code all over town, and see, we're what you would call nerds, so we have a Cerebro, and we picked up on your little spy code and we cracked it in a day in our back room at Scoops Ahoy, with nothing but a marker board and a Russian-English Dictionary. You think you're so smart and sneaky, but a couple of kids who scoop ice cream for a living cracked your code in a day and now, people know you're here."

"Who knows we are here!?' He called me that same Russian word again.

"Well Dustin knows."

"Hey, Steve?" I asked, urging him to shut up.

"Yeah, Dustin Henderson, he knows."

"STEVE!" 

"Dustin Henderson." The man repeated, walking back over to Steve. "Is this your small curly haired friend?"

"Oh yeah, curly-haired. Great hair. Small, kind of like a 'fro, yeah."

"Where is he?"

"He's long gone you big douchehole." We laughed. "And he's probably calling Hopper-"

"Steve!"

"And Hopper's calling the US cavalry." He laughed.

"They're gonna come in here, commando style-guns a-blazin', and kick your sorry butts back to Russia, you're gonna be two pieces of toast." We both giggled.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah." We both burst out laughing, and the man laughed with us until the alarm started blaring. I smiled, turning around to look at him.

"Oh would you look at that! That's the alarm! That can't be a good sign!"  I mocked. The soldiers left, leaving us alone with the Doctor, but we were only alone with him for a few minutes before Robin, Dustin, and Erica came crashing into the room, Dustin thrusting what looked to be a giant cattle prod into his chest, knocking him to the ground.

"Hey! Henderson!" Steve exclaimed as he dropped the weapon and began undoing the straps. Robin crouched down in front of me and began undoing mine.

"Hey Rob! Long time no see, girly!" I slurred.

"That's crazy, I was just talking about you."

"Get ready to run!" Dustin shouted. 

~~~

Steve, Robin, and I were now crammed into the back of one of the transport trucks, being slammed into the gate every time it hit a bump.

"Jeez, slow down!" 

"Yeah, what is this, like, the Indy 500?" I asked.

"Its the Indy 300."

"No, Dingus, its 500." Robin said. I pointed at her, raising my eyebrows wildly it Steve.

"Its 300!" 

"Let's say a million." We both started cackling, and Steve fell back against the grate while I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"What is wrong with them!?" Erica exclaimed.

"I don't know."

"Clearly they were drugged!" Robin shouted.

"Dustin watch out!" The truck crashed into a row of oil drums on a sharp turn, Sending Steve and I's heads crashing into the grate. We both groaned in pain.

"You guys alright back there?" He asked. We simply groaned in response. "They're fine."

They got out, walking around the truck and opening the door. Robin climbed out while Steve and I struggled to get up.

"Come on, let's go, now." Dustin prompted. We continued to move very slowly. "Come on! Get out!"

"Let's go!" Erica shouted.

"Sometime today, Dingus!" Robin grabbed my arms while Dustin grabbed Steve's and they yanked us really hard out of the back.

"Ow! We're coming!" Steve groaned. "This sucks."

"Here goes nothing." Dustin walked over to the elevator, scanning a key card and opening the door. I pointed at it and smiled.

"Hey! You got the door open! Good, let's get out of this elevator before the Russians find us!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, you're about 48 hours too late there, Riles." Robin said, gently pushing me into the elevator.

"Riles. I like it when people call me Riles. You know my Dad calls me Riles. I love my Dad. Where is my Dad, is he here? Did you find him?"

"No, we didn't try to. We just bailed you out ourselves." Dustin explained as the elevator door closed and began moving downwards.

"I wonder where my sister is. She saw Billy doing scary things, I wonder what happened with that?" I questioned.

"Your sister?" Robin asked.

"Since when do you have a sister?" Erica added.

"She's talking about El." Dustin explained.

"Ah yes, the super powered lab experiment girl." I laughed, pointing at Robin.

"Hey! We know her!" I turned around, looking at Steve, who was now standing on a box cart. I rushed over, grabbing onto the handle as the elevator picked up speed. "Hey Steve, Robin knows Eleven!"

"Hey! We know her!" I laughed.

"Yeah, that's what I said!" I began pushing the cart around, and Steve began whooping excitedly, holding onto the bar and trying to keep his balance.

"Hey! You look like you're surfing!"

"Surfing! Yeah!" He agreed.

"They seem drunk." Erica pointed out.

"Why would they be drunk?"

"I'm telling you, they probably drugged them, trying to get information out of them." Robin explained.

"I'M A NATURAL, CHECK IT OUT!" I yanked on the cart, sending him flying forward, falling on his face into the boxes. I gasped, rushing over and dropping down beside him.

"Steve? Are you ok?"

"Whoa...Wipeout." I laughed, laying down and putting my head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around my waist before poking my cheek with his fingers. "You're really pretty, you know that?" I giggled.

"You're really pretty too." We both burst out laughing and Dustin crouched down, putting a hand on Steve and I's foreheads.

"They're burning up." He noted.

"You're burning up!" He reached over to look at his eyes, but Steve pushed him away.

"Wait, wait wait, check...check my eyes. Steve's eyes are hurt real bad." I said. Dustin sighed, reaching over and holding my eyelids open.

"Her pupils are super dilated." 

"I'm telling you, drugged." Robin said. Steve reached up, booping Dustin's nose.

"Boop."

"Are you guys drugged?" Dustin questioned.

"How many times, Dad? I don't do drugs. Its only Marijuana."  He booped his nose again.

"This isn't funny, ok? I need to know what they did to you."

"Drugs," I slurred, causing Dustin to look at me. I sat up. "Big needle, right here," I pressed my finger against the puncture wound in the space between my jaw and my neck, just below my ear.

"Are you gonna die on us?"

"How should I know?! I don't know what they injected us with!" I exclaimed.

"They're gonna be looking for us up there, so I need one of you to tell us where you parked your car."

"Ooh, can we make a pit stop at the food court?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, Dustin you still owe me lunch. You abandoned my lunch..." 

"Yes, yeah, food yes, you can have as much food as you want, but only if you tell me where your cars are parked." Dustin said.

"Uh oh." Steve said. "The car's off the board."

"What?"

"They took the keys. The Russians, they took the keys like, forever ago." He turned his pockets inside out and I laughed, clapping my hands together. Steve chuckled. "That's a bummer, right?"

The elevator came to a stop and I stood up, pulling Steve to his feet. Robin, Dustin, and Erica led the way out the door, Steve and I trailing behind them, letting out a sigh of relief when we got outside.

"Ooh, that tastes so good," I said, sticking my tongue out, "Steve can you taste the air?"

"I taste it! I taste it!" Suddenly, two more Russian guards dressed as Mall cops entered the gate, immediately running towards us. Erica, Dustin, and Robin grabbed us, pushing us towards the side door into the mall.

"Ok, ok, ok! Woo!" I exclaimed.

"Why are we running?!" Steve asked joyfully. They pushed us inside, Dustin immediately shutting the door behind him.