Chapter 17

"Swore that I never, be that girl holdin' your hand." I mouthed to the camera as my studio version of ' Crazy Stupid Love' was playing in the background. My director gave me a thumbs up to show I was doing good.I even got to do some twerking while a saxphone was playing! 😉💃🎷

I got a much needed break with hot chocolate and biscuits. Bliss. Lily came to sit with me and she looked worried. I'm not depressed again am I? Or aren't I? It looks pretty obvious, Cheryl! I told myself, trying not to cry because of my makeup. Come on Cheryl, you can do this!

After twenty hours (it takes forever for us to get a final video soldiers!), I finally went back to Kimberley's house.

"Chezzabelle!" Nicola cheered as she ran over to hug me."Why aye, Ginge!" I said, squashed in a circle of welcoming arms.

Kimberley, Sarah and Nadine came out to the hallway and they all joined us all squashed together. But it feels great to be loved by my old band mates.

"How was the video shoot today? Exhausting, annoying, fun?" Sarah asked."You just read my f****** mind Saz!" I exclaimed."I know, Chez! We all know you!" We all exploded into laughter.

I'm still pretty confused of myself. One minute I'm laughing and having a great time and then the next minute I'm crying my eyes out and become paranoid of anything and everyone around me. The bad memories would come back haunting me at night. Why am I like this? Help me be normal for god's sake! I just want to go home, curl up into a tight ball and hide forever.

But never in ten years of being a singer, have I not been grateful for the life I was given. I love my life but hate my f***** up head sometimes.........."Back home!" I sighed as I came in my house. I missed being with JB so much and just wanted to snog him. What? Wouldn't you if you were away from your sexy lover?

"Cheryl! Babe how was your stay at Kimberley's?" JB ran to me down the hallway. I giggled to myself."Hmm....ok, I guess except for the fact I was knocked out, taken to a stranger's house and was late for filming me music video." I said, with a meaningless laugh.

"What? Are you ok after all that?" JB asked."I don't know, babe. I'm tired." I mumbled.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and stroked my cheek. He twirled me around and then dropped me into a dip kiss. I felt like one of those tango dancers in a sparkling gown fit for a princess. "How was the video?" JB asked."Fun actually. You should've been there and you would've got to see a cheeky little something before anyone else." I flirted, watching my husband's eyes glint in content.

I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. He carried me to the sofa and we watched tv under a blanket, Buster and Coco accompanying us on the other sofa. "I can't wait till the X Factor is back on. So I can see my wife doing what she does best." JB says as the ad break comes on."And that is?" "Encouraging people to achieve their dreams and giving those people hope." "Aww, babe. You're so cute. Thanks." I cooed.

"Cheryl?" JB said."Yeah, babe?" I nodded."Did the stay at Kimberley's help?" He asked."I'm not sure. It's always does but this time, it felt...different." I went quiet."Oh. I will try my best to make you feel happy, princess Cheryl Ann. No matter what it takes." "You already do, prince Jean Bernard. No need to work harder just for little me. I can manage."

I can't manage. At all. I just want him to not worry about me. I will not be the victim again!

I went to bed early after an amazing goodnight kiss from my sexy husband.

Shadows were, lurking in the bedroom as I lay in bed alone. I felt the cold hit my face. It took effort to take all that makeup off. I was so tired.

Sleep...