30

Ex Factor - Lauryn Hill

I could feel her eyes on me again.

It was the second time that class, maybe the third. Michelle sat one row over and a seat behind, just close enough for me to feel the heat of her stare but not close enough to speak without it being weird. I hadn't looked back once. I didn't dare to.

Professor Harris—Kamala—was lecturing about policy formation, her voice smooth and controlled as always. But I wasn't listening. I could barely think. My pen tapped a steady rhythm against my notebook even though I hadn't written a single word since class started. My stomach was in knots, and my heart was somewhere between my throat and the edge of a breakdown.

Michelle cleared her throat softly behind me.

I stiffened.

I didn't want this to happen here. But it had to.

The bell rang like salvation and judgment all at once. Students started gathering their things, some already halfway to the door. Kamala paused in the middle of erasing the whiteboard and looked up briefly—her eyes scanning the room but skipping right over me. Like I was invisible. Like I didn't exist.

I stood up slowly, not even pretending to pack up. I turned toward Michelle.

"We need to talk," I said quietly.

Her brows lifted, lips parting slightly like she hadn't expected me to actually say anything.

"Here?" she asked.

I nodded. "Now."

Kamala glanced up again, her expression unreadable, but this time her eyes did meet mine. Just for a second. Then she turned away, grabbed her laptop, and left the room without a word.

That stung more than I was ready for.

Michelle moved to stand beside me, arms crossed as if bracing herself. "Okay... so talk."

I took a deep breath, the weight of everything pressing against my ribs.

"This," I said, gesturing between us, "whatever it was becoming, it has to stop."

Michelle's smile faltered. "Becoming?"

I looked at her, really looked at her. She had that same confident stance, the same bold eyes, the same soft scent of whatever cologne-perfume mix she always wore—but she didn't look as sure as usual.

"You're not a bad person," I said carefully. "But I made a mistake getting close to you. I wasn't thinking. I let my guard down when I should've known better."

Her jaw tensed. "So you're blaming me?"

"I'm not blaming you," I said. "I'm blaming myself—for not setting boundaries sooner. For letting something harmless turn into something that wasn't."

She didn't say anything. Just stared.

"I hurt someone I love," I added quietly. "Because of all this."

Michelle stepped back a little, blinking fast. "Damn," she said. "I didn't even know it was like that."

"It is," I said. "It was. And I have to fix it."

There was a long silence.

"I didn't mean to come between anything," she finally said, softer than I'd ever heard her speak. "I thought... I don't know. I thought we were just vibing."

"I know," I said. "That's the problem."

Michelle looked down and nodded slowly. "So what? We're done?"

"As friends?" I shrugged. "Yeah."

It wasn't said cruelly. Just honestly.

She pressed her lips together, nodded again, then turned to walk out the door.

I sat back down in the now-empty classroom and stared at the desk in front of me.

The silence hit hard.

I pulled out my phone, staring at the screen even though I didn't know what to do next. Kamala hadn't answered any of my texts. Not even the one I'd sent earlier with a simple I miss you. Not the one with a picture of her favorite flowers I'd left outside her office door.

Nothing.

And now I had nothing left to lose.

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I'm feeding yall bc I feel like ima ghost you guys again 😀😭