Farewell My Almost Lover

"Quasi fluvius profecto ad mare

Imago ita abscedit..."

The words spewed out of the monster wearing Gabriels face in a rhythmic chant, seeming more soothing than Dean would have thought. They mingled together in front of him and floating off into the moons light, appearing as if he could reach out and grab them if he wanted to, yet he dared not, afraid he would disrupt the ritual. The aching pain that he had felt a few moments prior was slowly fading away into his body like a distant memory and he actually felt, somewhat, himself again. It was a sensation he thought he would never feel unless he was holding the First Blade, slaughtering everyone in his wake. He smiled, a sincere almost nonchalant one that brought tears to his eyes just pondering about the matter.

"Quaedam enim sunt quae intelliguntur esse

tollamque manum meam, et totam vitam meam.."

The pain was completely gone now and he stared down at his arm in disbelief, wondering how such intense pain such as that could dissappear with mention of few words. Yet when he scanned his eyes to the place where he thought the Mark had been, it had vanished, leaving only a small pink patch. It was as if the Mark claimed its territory just in case it decided to climb back on and ride him for a couple more kills. He doubt it would ever come to that though, he thought, his legs giving out underneath him as they became weaker. He threw his arms out in front of him to catch his fall, taking in air like it was his first time breathing. Even then his arms couldn't hold him up for more than a few seconds before he tumbled to the ground, laying on his back and admiring the night. The very last thing he is able to see before the darkness fully overtakes him. But this darkness at least wouldn't involve any killing or suffering or pain. This darkness was free and silent. And Dean couldn't wait any longer for it to carry him away until he could finally close his eyes for the very last time in his life.

"Non possum quin tibi enim quod in.."

"STOP!" A booming voice was heard echoing throughout the barn walls in an all too familar fashion Dean knew like the back of his hand. A voice he never thought he would hear again, yet at the same time, he was glad that he would get to see those blue eyes before Deaths' cold hands took him to whatever other hell hole he could find. Whatever hell hole he deserved. At this point he would be grateful for Hell to let him back in, but at this point Purgatory seemed to be the best option for him.

The man looked up at him and shook his head, grabbing for the book in a frenzy and securing it in his arms. The ritual came to a halt and the pain returned, as did the Mark, popping back onto his skin like it never left, leaving a burning sensation coursing up to his shoulder. The Mark was picking up where it started and Dean knew he wouldn't have enough time before he would regain his strength and revert to his uncontrollable self. Something he thought he never would have to show in front of Cas. He groaned in pain, grabbing his arm and staying on the ground, trying to trick himself into thinking he was weak and not strong in the slightest. He could barely move his arms, let alone his legs sprawled out on the dirt of the barn.

"You need to cease this at once or I will be forced to use my angel grace on you."

"Castiel. I know you don't trust me and you won't take my words to heart but you need to listen. This ritual is going to help him in ways that you and Sam Winchester can not even think about doing. If you really feel for this man then you have to let me finish or he will just get worse."

"You are not helping him in the slightest! You are killing him!"

"Cas...I think that's the whole point of this."

"Dean.." He whispered, rushing to his side and putting his head on his lap in an attempt to at least try to make him comfortable. Whatever was happening to him, it wasn't easing his pain and Cas could tell just by merely glancing at him. His eyebrows were strewned together, the bags underneath his eyes seeming more prominent than they usually were. Even his green eyes that once shown brighter than any star in the heavenly night were beginning to dull, fading to the color of grass and dirt. He was dying and Cas could tell without Dean ever having to say one word to him.

Dean reaches a weak hand up to brush his cheek and Cas places a hand over his in a means to steady it. He had never seen him so vulnerable before and so full of hope it made him want to scream to the heavens until his voice could be heard no more. He shouldn't be greeting death like an old friend. He should be in fear or perhaps so filled with rage it would bring the Mark the power it needed to reach its true potential. Yet he seemed so at peace that it made him want to shed the tears he had been holding back since the time he found him missing again. Damn Cain. Damn Dean for thinking his life is not worth anything more than a pebble lying on the street, abandoned and alone. And most of all, damn himself for closing his eyes and thinking he could finally be happy for once in his life. He has been alive for millions of years but not as alive as Dean Winchester had made him feel in 8. He couldn't lose him now. He wouldn't.

"I knew you were going to find me and try to talk me out of doing this Cas. I could sense you from a mile away without even a seconds hesitiation. But..you have to let me do this. That man is going to save me and I will never hurt anyone ever again."

He tilts his head down and shakes it, a sort of anger growing inside him.

"You think that man over there is here to help you? To take away your pain and have you walk out of this place without the Mark and feeling like you old self again? If you think that is what he is trying to accomplish then you are far from the truth. I knew of men like him up in Heaven. Capio they called themselves. They may have guarded Heavens most sacred weapons and relics but if for one moment they thought something were to happen to any of them, they would snatch them up and leave. All they do is run, hide and take things without any regards for others. This ritual, if done properly, will kill you and who knows what will happen to your soul. To you."

"Castiel is right you know, Dean. My kind is not one to be written down in the glory books to be remembered by. We were exactly how he described us and it is not something I love to think back on to this day. But what he neglected to mention is that not every Capio had the same title or the same profession as others. My name is Capio Verum and I don't think I have to explain this ritual to you at all because I am positively sure you know exactly what it is and what it can do. I seem to not be the only one that has withheld some information over the past couple millenniums."

"Cas. What is he talking about?" His voice came out muffled like it was coming from a distant telephone line that had a bunch of static on the other end, breaking after a few syllables.

Castiel played idley with the sleeve of his trenchcoat, stealing glances at Capio and Dean who was growing weaker at each passing second.

Capio folded his arms across his chest, throwing the book on top of the alter and tapping his foot against a bundle of hay.

"Yes Castiel. Please do tell Dean Winchester here about the ritual. About how you knew exactly how to take the mark off of him the moment you seen that familiar pattern on him. Tell him you knew he was a walking time bomb the moment he killed his first victim with the blade. And tell him how he made it to this same stage in the ritual before, little less than 3 months ago. Tell him how he was so close to getting the Mark off that you could practically sense Death near. Tell him how you pulled him from that circle, his life leaking from him so fast that you were afraid you were going to lose him for good this time. And when you're at it, tell him how you looked him in the eyes and told him everything was going to be alright while you wiped his memory cleaned like this mess never happened."

He launches himself at Capio, reaching into his pocket and grabbing the angel blade he makes habit to never leave without. It was people like him that  generously remind him why he keeps it at such close range. Without hesitation, he edges the blade to his neck, placing it so he barely had any room to breathe, let alone talk. The less words coming out of his mouth this very moment, the better. 

"By all means Castiel, plunge the knife through my throat and watch the life force leave my body for good. You and I haven't seen eye to eye in the past and I know you have been itching to put an end to me. The only capable Capiot, may I mention, that is willing to help you with this deed and help Dean go in the best manner possible!"

The knife shook in his hand as his teeth clenched from rage. Or was it fear? Such emotions still confused Cas and, at a time like this, it just made it worse. Tears were welling in his eyes, ones that he couldn't even think about stopping because they were already falling down his cheeks in a stinging frenzy.

"Cas. Cas!" Arms enveloped him from all around and it took him a moment to realize that they were Deans, strong and freckled peering out from his ripped sleeves. Dean removed him from Capio and he got up, opening the book to the page he was on before the fight broke out. He buried himself into his neck, whispering apologies and words that lost its meaning with the amount of times he repeated them. Yet Dean wasn't one to care, so he sank to the floor and just let him continue until he lifted his head up to search his eyes.

"I apologize Dean fo..."

"It's alright. What you did is in the past and you of all people should know that I don't give two rats ass for the person you used to be. What matters is here and now."

"Dean you should know that this..."

"Ritual is going to result in the Mark being pulled away from me and being absorbed into the Moons energy source."

"You know what that means, right?"

"That my soul will be so damaged that no amount of fixing it will ever make it like the way it used to be. I already got the brochure and mints from my tour guide over there Cas. I know what I signed up for."

"You don't get it Dean! This could kill you! Have you any regards for your well being?!"

"I've made my peace with this a long time ago and you can't disuade me from this path."

"Well I haven't made my peace Dean Winchester and I am not going to any time soon!"

"Hey," Dean states, intertwining his hand with the angels, marveling at the way they always seem to fit perfectly together, "Everything is going to be okay. You and Sam can live your lives and be happy. You guys deserve that as much as anyone else in this world."

He swats away his hand and wipes away the tears forming again in his eyes. Stupid human emotions always clouding his vision. How do people tolerate this type of behavior? It makes Cas even more angry than he thought was humanly possible.

"I can't be happy Dean. Not without you in my life."

"You are going to have to find someone else to make you happy then."

"Damn you Dean Winchester! Damn you for coming into my life and stealing my heart and taking my breath away with it! Damn you for making me feel things I never thought I could feel in a million years! Damn you for every single moment you put a smile on my face when I felt I had no reason to have joy! Damn you..." He punched him along with the words that flung out of his mouth. Punched him to emphasize that hatred that could only come with loving someone as much as Cas loved Dean. Punching him until he couldn't take it anymore and buries his face into Deans' chest, a silent sob coursing through him. "Please don't go. Please don't leave me."

Dean leaned forward and took him into a hug that seemed to last for hours, brushing through his thick black hair.

"I won't leave you Cas. I will always be with you in here," he whispers, pointing to his head, leaving a tender kiss on his forehead. "And in here." He said, laying a hand on his steady beating heart.

"I don't want to forget," Cas said, reaching over to grab his hand in his, once last time.

A small half- smile curved its way up his lips and he looked into his blue eyes. The ones that he wanted to get lost in forever but he could deal with one last stroll.

"Then don't." He leaned in and placed his lips on top of Cas's, lingering in the state of things, wanting it to never end. This was timeless. This was forever. For every waking instant they were together, an eternity could fly by and merely feel like seconds. They say when you are at the verge of death, your life flashes before your very eyes but in this moment all he saw was Cas. His messy black hair that no matter the amount of brushing couldn't make it go down. His blue eyes that sparkled even if the sun was nowhere to be seen. His trenchcoat, red in some places, brown in others but still seemed to smell of his musk. All of it was him. He was his life.

A hand placed itself on his shoulder and they both looked up to see Capio, holding open the book to Castiel, his once steady hands shaking.

"We need to finish this ritual before the moon is replaced with the sun and the opportunity passes for another month. I think you should be the one to say the last words. It only seems fitting."

"I.." Cas looked over and studied Dean, and knew that he had to do this. For Dean. "I don't need the book. I know the words by heart."

He takes Deans hand and gripped it tightly, laying his head onto his lap. He wanted to cry and scream and throw whatever objects came into his path but he stayed composed. He had to.

He took a deep breath a let the last words pour from his mouth.

"Amorem incideris."

The ground started shaking and the circle around them broke in two. The candles that were once lite up, blew out immediately, tobbling over. The moons light shone onto Dean and he tilted his head up, the Mark completely dissappearing from his arm. Without warning, everything stopped and the world was silent. Tears were falling from Cas's eyes and he wasn't sure why. A man laid on top of him, whom he had never met before yet he appeared familiar, but he couldn't place his finger on it.

"It's done." A hand placed itself on his shoulder. Capio. Yes he had come here for Capio. He had requested something of him.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this Castiel. I know the memory is fading from your head and this is already feeling like a dream but you had faith in me. Something that not a lot of people can have for creatures like me. I can give you this. I know it isn't much but its a symbol of him or,at least, who he used to be. You'll feel drawn to it, perhaps like somewho you knew the person who used to wear it and in time a faint memory will come back. I don't know much about you but I know you won't give up especially over the likes of Dean Winchester. May you remember again." He hands over a simple necklace hanging on a black string. The moment his fingers brush it a vision of green eyes overtook his vision but vanished in an instant. 

Green eyes. It brought a ghost of a smile to his lips and he exited the barn, putting the necklace securely on his neck.

He knew those green eyes.

He could never forget.

Dean opened his eyes.

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Tell me what you guys think! I have 2 more chapters left! If this gets enough love I will post the next one soon!