Fifteen

Y'know when you go for something and have no idea whatsoever how it's going to turn out? You, like anyone else, go for the worst possible scenario as to what could happen? Last week, when I told Justin that I wanted to try our relationship, these were my thoughts. I thought there was no way possible we'd get away with it. Then again, here we are one week later, doing better than I could've imagined. Yes, I understand it sounds crazy. One week and we're doing well. That's typical but as someone who normally gives up before giving anything a chance and letting their thoughts get in the way of any happiness whatsoever, this is big for me.

We've gotten the hang of sneaking around by this point and have even come up with sort of a routine. Majority of the time, Justin will come over mid afternoon before going to work and then will sneak back in at night, laying with me until I fall asleep and then sneaking out without a trace.

During the time that I'm not with Justin, I've been spending a bunch of time with Caitlin and Rebecca. We've only included Chaz and Ryan a couple times but they seem like honest and cool guys. I like the relationships the couples have. They're carefree and loving. Childish yet mature and I love it. It's something I want. Hopefully something I can have with Justin. I know it's what we have so far. But who knows what'll change with time.

Maverick's been weirdly nice to me. It's almost as if now that he thinks Justin and I don't talk or associate whatsoever and he knows I have friends that he doesn't know he's happy with me being here. I guess that'll all change when he learns Justin and I have been sneaking behind his back the entire time. Which brings me to the fact that the longer we wait to tell him, the worse the reaction will be. But I can't help but keep it to myself for now. I don't want him ruining it when we don't even know how far this is going to go.

I sigh at the thought and almost as if on cue, a knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. "Come in."

The door opens and Justin slips in, closing and locking it behind himself before turning to me. "Hey baby."

"Hi." I smile, grinning as he leans down and kisses me. "You left kinda early last night. You usually stay later."

I woke up around eleven and noticed he was gone. He normally waits until about midnight, 1am to leave... just to make sure I'll sleep through the night.

He nods. "Yeah, there was a last minute mission we had to go on. They called and I had to go."

"Wait, there was a mission and you didn't tell me?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

He sighs. "I didn't really have a choice, Hads. I didn't wanna wake you."

"You could've. Or even if you had texted me so that I would've gotten it this morning." I stress, upset.

"I didn't think there was a point." he shrugs. "By then, the mission would've been over and I would've been back."

"We agreed on me knowing about every mission, Justin. Most of the time you guys are preparing or planning when this time you were actually doing something and you didn't bother to tell me about it. I doubt you were even gonna tell me unless I had asked where you went." I argue, shaking my head.

"Don't make a big deal out of this." he sighs.

"Justin, we made a deal. We- we have rules. And you know that one is extremely important to me!"

He nods. "Okay, but there was no point in telling you when it had already happened! If I had told you before I left you would've stayed up worrying which I didn't want and if I would've texted you for you to know when you woke up, you would've called non stop until I answered so you knew I was okay."

"And that's a bad thing?!"

"Well, when I'm trying to sleep." he shrugs.

I give him a 'I can't believe you' look before shutting my mouth and looking away from him.

"Hadlee." he says after a moment.

"Just go. I don't wanna be around you right now." I say, getting up and going to the bathroom before shutting the door and walking over to the sink.

I hear him scoff in disbelief before leaving the bedroom and shutting the door stiffly after leaving.

I open the door to the bathroom sink after a moment, letting out a sigh and sitting on my bed, defeated.

I stare at the floor, my thoughts taking over my brain now.

How could he not tell me that he went on a mission? It was the second rule I gave to him and he's already broken it. It's only been a week. If he's doing this and it's been such a short amount of time then how the hell do I know if he's not going to keep doing this? How am I supposed to trust him? It's not like I can just shrug it off and say it's okay. It's important to me. It may seem stupid to some but I want to be aware. I want to know whether he's okay or not. And hey, he's okay this time but what if next time he doesn't tell me and he gets hurt and I have to learn from Maverick and then pretend that I don't give a crap other than the fact that Justin's his friend? How am I supposed to do that? I don't want to be in the dark. I thought I make that clear. I thought we had an agreement. Why would he break the agreement we made. I wanted us to do this together. I want us to be a team. No secrets. All open and cooperative. That's how this is going to work. It's not going to work if he doesn't step up. And if he doesn't step up than I'm doing all of this for no reason. What if I'm doing this for no reason? What if I'm being stupif. Maybe I should just go ahead and break up with him now? No, Hadlee. He made one mistake. Okay but the mistake was within the first week that we've been together. Exactly. It's only been a week. I shouldn't be too hard on him. But it hurts that he didn't tell me when we had a agreement. But agreements take time to get used to when you don't normally have to do them. I'm sure he never has to tell anyone when he goes on missions so he's not used to someone caring enough to want to know.

A knock interrupts my thoughts and as I pray it's not Justin, I tell whoever it is to come in.

"Hey Lee." Maverick smiles, opening the door to my room.

"Mav, hey. I didn't know you were home."

"I just got here."

"Oh." I nod. "Okay. What's up?"

"Well, I was gonna take a nap but figured it would be a little more fun to ask you if you wanted to hang out." he grins.

"Seriously?" I ask, a grin playing at my lips.

He nods. "Yeah. Wanna go see a movie or something?" he asks.

I nod. "Yeah, sure. Just, um, let me get dressed."

He smiles. "I'll meet you downstairs in five."

After Maverick shuts the door, I hop off the bed and go over to the closet, dressing in a pair of distressed jeans and a comfortable yet cute top, I slide on a pair of white converse and make my way downstairs with my phone in my hand.

"Wow, quicker than expected." he chuckles.

I shrug. "I don't need more makeup than I already have on and I can just take my hair out of the ponytail."

He laughs, nodding. "Let's go."

We go out to his car and climb inside, buckling our seatbelts as I wipe the excess mascara that's moved under my eyes throughout the morning and letting my hair down.

Two hours later, Maverick and I get out of the car and make our way towards the front door, both walking in with smiles on our faces.

He's making an effort.

"Hey guys! Perfect timing for dinner." our dad says, grinning at us.

"Ahh, I'm starving." Mav says, rubbing his hands together and walking towards the dining room.

I laugh, shaking my head at his reaction to food and following him before sitting in my chair.

After dinner, I say goodnight to everyone as I plan to stay in my room for the rest of the night, and walk up to my room before plopping on my bed as my phone goes off.

I grin at the name on the screen before answering. "Hey Cami."

"Bitch! I haven't talked to you in three days!" she exclaims.

I laugh. "I know! You've been busy and actually for once I kinda have too."

"Oh, yeah! With the girls you met there?!"

I nod although she can't see me. "Yeah, they're great. But I still miss you guys."

"Well, no one can replace us so I'm not surprised." she giggles.

I roll my eyes. "You're a mess. What have you guys been doing?"

"We went to a waterpark today. Took my little sister since she was dying to get out of the house."

"Awe!" I coo, grinning at the information.

"What about you?"

"Oh I just hung out today and then went to see a movie with Mav." I grin.

She gasps. "Oh my gosh! He's making an effort?!"

"I know right." I laugh. "I was actually about to go out again. There's this place I go to sometimes when I need to think or just want some peace outside the house."

She giggles. "Which is it tonight?"

"A little of both." I shrug.

She laughs. "Well, then I'll let you go so you can go to your place. I love you chica."

"Love you too babe." I tell her, hanging up and standing up before jogging down my stairs again. "Hey guys, I'm actually gonna go out and meet the girls at our spot."

"Okay, honey. Don't be home too late."

"I won't. Love you guys." I inform them.

After walking for a good forty five minutes, I finally arrive at my destination, overlooking Stratford in the best way. I smile peacefully and sit on the ground, licking my lips and gazing over the view.

I still can't figure out whether or not to let this thing with Justin go. But I suppose I do need to figure it out, right? I don't want to break up with him. He's genuinely a good guy who made a mistake. But at the same time he's gotta put in some extra effort to make it up to me. I need him to stay with the rules I made so that we can make something of ourselves as a couple. Maybe I should just explain that to him. I need to. If not, this argument is going to keep happening and that I won't be able to handle.

"I knew I'd find you here."

I turn immediately, gasping for air as the sight of Justin catches my eye. "What?"

He licks his lips. "I snuck into your room so we could talk and you weren't there. I figured this was the only other place you'd be." he shrugs.

I sigh, looking forward again. "You wanna talk."

He walks over, sitting next to me and nodding. "If you'll talk to me, yes."

I look ahead before nodding. "Okay."

He sighs. "So,"

I bite my lip, sighing as well. "I overreacted a bit."

He shakes his head. "No. I think you were right. You made that rule for a reason and I didn't respect it."

I look over at him, surprised by his words.

He chuckles as he notices my gaze. "What? Didn't expect me to realize I was wrong?"

I shrug before shaking my head. "Honestly, no. You just seem too headstrong."

He nods. "I am. But there are times where I actually do realize I was wrong."

I grin over at him before my frown reappears. "I don't want you to think I'm making all these unnecessary rules. I don't want it to be too much."

He shakes his head. "No. None of the rules are unnecessary. They're all actually reasonable. I just... I'm just not used to them yet. I've gotta push myself into it."

I nod, my lips sucked into my mouth. "Okay."

He smiles, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. "Okay."

***

thank you all so much for reading! 

I know I've been kinda behind and slow with updating and for that I apologize. I'm trying to get back on track. 

tune in for the next chapter soon!

much love, 

shan:)