9

I woke up a few times tonight, and not for the right reasons. Jungkook kept moving by my side, pulling the sheets to him every single time he rolled on the bed. Not to mention the snores, it was as if I had an English bulldog breathing right next to my ear. I begged him to shut up, I kicked him under the covers, but he didn't even flinch when I hit him with the pillow on the face. I tried my best to turn on my right and focus on falling asleep, until a loud knock sounded and the snores suddenly disappeared. 

I turned around concerned, leaning up just to find him getting up from the floor and going back to bed with his eyes still closed.

—Why did you do that? —he mumbled with a whine.

I'm left there, looking at him with shock when he threw himself on his side of the bed, and in a matter of seconds, he was snoring again.

That's how I knew why nobody wanted to sleep with him, and were fast on picking a rommate.

And now that I'm waking up with painful and burning eyelids, and my body feeling heavier than ever, I confirm he's a pain in the ass even when he's asleep. My head also rewinds to hours back, when we were both wide awake and conscious when I joined him in the bed. And how I allowed him to touch me that way. My eyes are lost in the ceiling while I think about it, and how thankful I am that he's not here right now and waking up by myself.

The new question is: How will I dare to look at him with a straight face after what happened?

Although that question remains answerless when I go downstairs and he's not here. Only Melanie, Soo and Tammy are here. They look at one another with a smile as soon as they're aware of my presence, and they look back to me. I see nothing good coming.

—Did you sleep well? —Soo asks when I get closer to the kitchen table.

—Uhh —I nod—, I guess.

I rather not give out way too much information, and just let them ask whatever they might be curious about. I highly doubt Jungkook rolled his tongue and told everybody what happened last night. It's better, for the both of us, to keep that moment to ourselves and bury it in a dark place, two meters underground.

—Did something happen last night? —Melanie arches her eyebrows, while she waits for a juicy answer.

—No.

It's right now that I'm thankful of my strict parents who taught me, indirectly, how to lie properly when you're being interrogated. Short answers are the key for ambiguous questions that could get me in trouble.

—But... —Tammy continues—. I saw you talking with him.

That makes me frown again, because I don't remember crossing any type of word or sound with Jungkook last night, not in front of everybody. And I highly doubt they were able to listen to that conversation we had while lying in bed. Or maybe, they did hear us and that's why this interrogation is going on. 

—You were staring at each other almost all night —Soo pinches my arm playfully.

That makes more sense now. Every single time my eyes went from Seokwoo to the group of friends, my gaze found his, and we'd try to keep the visual contact until I broke it up every single time. Anyway, I keep myself together and give a small sip to the orange juice Melanie has just served me.

—C'mon, it was obvious you were drooling for Seokwoo —Tammy insists—. And he told us this morning he thought you were cute.

I try to digest everything my friends have said. First, I sigh in relief when I'm finally able to confirm they weren't talking about Jungkook nor anything that happened after the party. And then I look at them surprised, unbelieving of what they've said. But yeah, even if he had said he thought I was cute, it means nothing. Actually "You're cute, but..." is something I'm done listening to every single time they're about to reject me. Somebody calling you cute or adorable is just an introduction of the kick-ass they're about to give you.

The conversation switches topics quite fast, when Melanie starts talking about one of her clients and the case she's working on. I'm honest, and I admit I paid no attention with whatever they were talking about right now.

Morning goes on, and it's not like it's any different to how it was three hours ago. All the boys come back after walking around the place, and convince us to do the same and take a walk near the lake. 

And honestly, I'm thankful to have pushed my doubts aside and join them on this trip. Not only because I love how beautiful this place is, but because I ended up meeting a lot of new people I get on well with. Tammy was right when she said meeting new people does make you feel good with yourself.

More than once I find myself looking for Jungkook, and I don't really understand why. After what happened last night, I should be avoiding him and be grateful he's nowhere around me right now. Contrary to what happened yesterday, my eyes meet with Seokwoo's more than once. And he dedicates a tiny smile, before he moves his eyes away and goes back to the conversation he's having with Namjoon. Although it doesn't really have an effect on me, and I'm wondering if it should have. 

For some reason, my head keeps being busy thinking about Jungkook. I try to convince myself I don't care about where he is, and I don't care. But I can't help but ask myself if he might be avoiding me after what he said. Maybe he was drunk, maybe it was the heat of the moment and now he's feeling weirded out about it. Whatever it is, I'm sure he regrets it enough to sneak out of the room earlier and leave as soon as Melanie, Tammy, Soo and I decided to join the boys' plan.

Our hide and seek game doesn't last much anyway. We meet again at lunch time, when we all are sitting on the big table to eat. And, while we're both placed as far from each other as possible, I feel his eyes drilling my temple. Not the staring contest again. I know I'm not in the mood for that, so I try as much as possible not lifting my eyes from the plate -or, at least, not turning my head to the left. I know if my eyes connect with his, I won't be able to keep the staring. And moving my glance away -whether it's because I feel intimidated, or annoyed- is giving him a victory for free.

Shortly after that, we decide it's time to go back home -since most of us are working the day after. Unlike when we arrived, Soo and Mark leave with Steve and Carl, Seokwoo leaves with Namjoon, Hobi and Yoongi (seems like they got on pretty well last night), and I'm left with Tammy, Melanie and Jungkook. 

I should've hopped on Steve's car. It's my fault though. That's what happens when you wait for the only person you know to pick a car.

I try to keep the focus on the landscape. Honestly, I attempt hard to keep my eyes everywhere but the front. If I thought the trip yesterday was long, coming back home will be eternal.

✸ ✸ ✸

We all look at him confused when he drives to Tammy's home first. Mine was closer from the highway, and it'd have made sense for it to be the first stop -that's exactly why they picked me up last yesterday. But Jungkook finds an excuse fast, saying he has something to do near my neighborhood. The next one to hop off is Melanie, saying goodbye with a big smile and thanking us for having such a good time on her birthday. She sets her eyes on me, giving me a hug and wishing I join them again, whenever they decide to hang out again. 

—Will you pull a Miss Daisy or will you move to the front?

I roll my eyes, getting out of the car just to sit next to him in the front. And, as soon as I buckle up, he starts the car again, driving a route I already know. It's exactly the same one we took when we brought Melanie everything we bought for her birthday.

Surprisingly, the silence surrounding us today is more uncomfortable than the one we had to go through last week. I feel forced to open my mouth, maybe tell him to leave me here and let me walk the rest of the way back home, but Jungkook interrupts my breathing, speaking first while he gives me one fast look.

—Did you think about what I told you? 

I swallow my spit hard, almost choking myself with it when he lets out the question I never thought he'd ask. He does remember, and doesn't seem like he regrets asking it.

—No —I lie.

I thought about it, but not on the answer, or what I thought about it. Ironically, my full focus was on what he really thought about it and how he was feeling that night, after asking that.

He chuckles, and tilts his head. That deep laugh attracts my eyes instantly, and god, doesn't he look good as fuck right now. His left hand holds the wheel, while the tattooed fingers of his right hand rest on the gear.

I was chill in the backseat, why did he make me move?

—You didn't think about it because you didn't like it or because you don't want to do it? —he asks without looking at me.

—I'm not really sure of what you want to do —i squint—. And I'm sure there must be a trap somewhere.

The car stops suddenly. And when I look to my right, I see the same poor, old and neglected building I've been living in for the past seven years. My eyes go back to him instantly, and I find Jungkook waiting calmly to get my eyes back to him before he goes on:

—I told you —he shrugs—: no trap.

—And you only get "me" out of all of this? —I'm feeling tempted to laugh right on his face— You don't even like me.

And now is when Jungkook tilts his head again, smiling big and showing all of his teeth.

—I don't think I ever said I don't like you —he bends over a little, just centimeters away from me—. Did I?

I swallow hard again. What?

—There's something about you... it caught my attention —he shrugs before he moves back again—. I know you're too difficult to win you the way I would, and the way we started will only make it harder. This is the easy route: we both win. I will teach you everything you need to know and help you be more comfortable, and I'll be able to cross you out of my pending list.

I could've punched him as soon as he said that, and I'm way too tempted to do it. But, I'd be lying if I said I don't agree with him. He got my attention the very first day, and we both were to blame by how the situation unfolded. Neither of us can deny the attraction. I dislike his guts, but he makes me feel small and empowered, at the same time, whenever my eyes meet his. 

It's complicated. Jungkook is complicated.

Like he said, it's just a deal. And it's the perfect excuse to be able to give in to my deeper thoughts, without feeling like I'm disappointing myself. Well, "fake excuse". But it works for me right now.

—If we do it, we need to set some rules.

Jungkook nods, most probably he already thought about that or was expecting me to come up with something at some point.

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