Congratulations: You've Unlocked Kugui's Interlude!

[Congratulations: You've Unlocked Kugui's Interlude!]

Warning: Some things may be triggering to others so please go with caution!

"Carolyn— don't look at that!" My mother dragged me away harshly, covering my eyes with her hand.

"Why?" Little me questioned, tilting my head. Pushing her away, I peered at what I saw. In front of us were two grown women laughing together, holding hands as they then shared a kiss. What was wrong with that?

My mother let out an annoyed huff. "Those two— being despicable." Crouching down, my footing stumbled when she poked my chest with a stern look. "Remember honey— never be like those... people."

"Why?" I was too naive to push my question further.

"Don't talk back to me!" I flinched at the harsh tone she gave me. Signing, she stroked the top of my head with a small smile. "Just do as I please and you'll be safe."

"...Yes, mother."

.-

"Hey, hey! Carolyn, are you going to join our club?"

Despite my thoughts, I reassured them with a smile. "Of course! If... if that's what you want." My hands hid away my stuff from my desk. I noticed how they never bothered to look at what it was.

"Nice!" They smiled, they always did whenever I did something right. That made me happy. "Oh, I've always wondered, what did you want to be when you grew up?" The person asked, never looking directly at me.

My breath hitched. They... wondered about me? I averted my gaze, feeling sheepish as I pursued my lips. "Ah... well, I don't know." I settled for that. I knew it wasn't an actual answer, yet I already knew that was enough for them.

True to my thoughts, the person in front of me didn't push further, not like they wanted to know in the first place, and turned away. "That's ok, I know you won't disappoint anyone with your decision!"

"I... I see." I pushed down the lump in my throat. Is that true? How can you be so certain? I held the urge to ask them.

Raising a hand, they waved at me, stepping away. "Well, I'll see you later!"

With a strained smile, it was an automatic response to do the same.

I never told them I wasn't interested in their club.

I never told them I already knew what I wanted to be.

I never told them anything.

And yet... I wanted to reach out.

-.-- --- ..- -. --.

Growing up, I never, no matter how I tried, was able to make a bond with anyone. I never knew why— did they hate me? Was there something in me that they didn't like?

So, I changed.

Whatever they liked, I liked. Whatever they disliked, I disliked. Whatever talent they enjoyed, I enjoyed as well. I had to change for them to care about me. I had to show them that I was good enough to love.

Yet it wasn't enough. I still felt alone-- no, I was still alone. They didn't like me for me, I knew deep inside. Yet, I couldn't stop-- I didn't care at that point. I—

No, that wasn't right. I did care.

I was just too much of a coward to do anything about it.

And so, every night, before I went to bed, I would pray. Pray for that one day— that one day I would finally have the courage.

--. .. .-. .-..

Oh no. I held the fabric of my shirt as I heaved a breath— only to choke on it. Oh no no no no no no. This is the worst, I shouldn't have done this. Now everyone will—

I didn't realize it, I never got the chance to— and now, everything I've worked for, it'll go to dust.

No. I can't let that happen! I cried to myself, huddling my knees tucked together. "Haah..." I tried to calm my heart beating so erratically. I don't want that— I don't want them to know, I don't want them to see I don't want them to—

I don't want them to know how much of a pathetic person I am.

What should I do? I stared at my phone, showing the evidence. I don't know— should I report it? Is it too late? I— how should I—

"Carolyn?" My breath hitched, whipping my head at my mother, who stood at the doorway of my room. I didn't hear her come in! I screamed internally. "Is something wrong?"

Panicking, I stood up from my bed, tossing my phone away. "No— no! Nothing's wrong!" I stammered on my words, my hands rose in defense. Oh no, she's going to find out! I scrambled out of my bed, my feet almost making me lose balance. I pressed my hands together and gave her a push. "Now, do— do you not have things to do?"

"Sweetie, stop." My body froze at her tone, stepping back with my hands covering my mouth. Oh no, I did it. "There's something wrong with you, right?" I sucked in a breath as she stepped closer and grabbed my wrist. "Why don't you just say it?"

I— "Hey, what's going on?" A more masculine voice popped in, my father's head poking out of the doorway.

My mother craned her head to look at him. "Carolyn has something she wants to say." My lips pushed together as my body suddenly felt like it was being pierced by multiple tiny needles. I never said—

"Oh? Well then," With not even a hint of hesitance, he walked in, pushing me onto the bed. Never had I ever felt this cornered in my life. It was as if I was a zoo animal with them looking down on me with wide smiles. "Tell us already."

I pressed my body together, scooting back onto my bed. I— I need to leave. I need to find a way out of this situation. They can't know they'll hate me they'll leave me alone alone alone alonealonealone—

"Come on, aren't we family?"

It was then that everything stilled.

Family? I thought. Yeah, that's right— we're family. Family helps each other— they care for each other, no matter what.

So... it's okay, right? It's okay to say the truth, right? I won't be hated right?

I won't be alone, right?

My eyes caught sight of them again: their big and welcoming smile. I felt like running, I felt like breaking down.

Yet I was tired— so tired.

With a deep breath, I pushed away my doubts for the first time. It's... ok to be myself, right?

.-- .... ---

🎶 Now Playing: Doki Doki Literature Club OST - Sayonara 🎶

I... I thought... I truly believed— believed that they would accept me. I could finally be happy!

Looks like I was wrong.

After that, everything went to hell. Nobody wanted to be with me. Nobody looked at me. Nobody even cared—

God, why does this happen to me?

Every night that I prayed, was that all in vain? Did that do nothing?

Please, God, if you truly exist, tell me: what sins have I done? What heinous crimes have I committed to deserve this?

Perhaps I was the crime myself.

Never have I once received a reply, no matter how much I pleaded.

The only reassurance I had in this life had finally been crushed to dust, giving way to the pain I tried so desperately to run away from.

I just... I just wanted people to care. I tried so hard and yet...!

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares. Nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobodynobodynobodynobodynobodyCARES—

The rope around my neck tightened.

..-. .-. . . ...

My memories of my next parents were vague— I only saw them a few times after they died, after all.

The next thing I knew, I was in the arms of an elderly woman. For the time I was being carried around, my bleary eyes couldn't help but make me feel confused. Why does she look familiar, I wondered. Yet, all I could do was say gibberish.

It wasn't until I fearfully stared at large grayish-brown eyes that it clicked: this was Sasori Akasuna.

So there I was, lying in my crib (do I even deserve this?) as the infamous S-rank criminal worked on the other side of the room. Why? Why am I still alive? I asked myself.

Is this god's way of making me suffer? Did I have any more sins I had to pay for?

Or was I doomed for eternal suffering?

Waving my hands up, I felt my eyes water. "Aah..." I wailed, watching as everything went blurry. No, don't cry— please don't— don't bother him anymore!

"Kugui, be quiet." Sasori suddenly appeared in front of me, a blank expression on my face. I choked on a small sob at the sight of him, trying my best to shush myself. The boy let out a sigh, reaching his hand in. Oh no, he's going to kill me— "I don't know why grandma Chiyo can't just take care of you herself." Feeling the warmth of his fingers on my cheek, I couldn't help but stop.

Ah, that's right. I had to remind myself. He's not a war criminal right now. Hesitantly, I pushed my body to lean in, relishing how... what's the word again? "Uwah..." I accidentally let out, yet for once, I didn't get any bad looks. Getting another glance at him, I found myself in awe.

His eyes were wide yet glistening— so full of life, despite the small scowl he had. They reminded me of the comforting and warmth of hot chocolate. He was alive. I concluded. Not a puppet— but human. My hands reached out. "Ubaba..."

"Hm? You want to get up?" The Akasuna spoke in a soft murmur. The boy narrowed his eyes, averting his gaze before reverting. Raising a lax hand as he leaned against the crib, he cupped his cheek with his other hand.

And before I knew it, I was airborne. Eh? Eh? My tiny, weak body wiggled around, what's going on? "Stop struggling." Moving his fingers (Were those strings attached to them?), I felt myself being pushed closer to the boy. Feeling the embrace of warm hands, I landed on Sasori's shoulders.

Is... is this happening? I felt like crying— no, I already was crying. "Wahhh..." I'm sorry, I wanted to say, feeling the soon-to-be-murderer pat my back gently (When was the last time someone did that in my past life?) I'm so sorry, you probably hate me. I'm sorry.

He's so kind... is this the Sasori I know from the manga? I thought to myself. Does God hate him as well? Do they wish for him to suffer?

If so... I felt so weak when I tried pushing myself up. Then, as thanks for treating me so kindly, a mere sinner... Smacking my gums together, I pursued my lips. "Sa..." I felt him tense.

"Kugui?"

"Sss... Sa!" I cried out. "Sas... Saso!"

Feeling him shift his weight, he brought my small body to eye level, eyes wide with wonder. "...yeah, that's right. That's my name." I could barely see it but, there was the tiniest of smiles on his face.

I want to make his life just a little bit happier.

.... . .-. ... . .-.. ..-.

My body fidgeted as Chiyo guided me to the dinner table. "Grand... Grandmother Chiyo?" I asked her with my hands fiddling with the fabric of my shirt. "What are we doing...?" My mouth instantly shut. No! You aren't supposed to question adults! Oh no, she's going to—

"You're around that age, Kugui," Her hoarse voice broke my thoughts, looking down at me with an unfazed expression. I stumbled a little at the sight. Around that age...? "So choose: do you want to learn puppetry or fuinjutsu?"

Huh? I blanked out. Puppetry? Fuinjutsu? It was then that it hit me: I was in a world full of ninjas— ninjas that would kill each other. Without knowing it, I averted my eyes. Do I have to be that?! I don't— I don't want to...

Ah, but, I don't want to disappoint her. I concluded, steeling my will. "Ah, um, fuinjutsu...?" I decided on. Sasori already does puppetry, he'll probably get mad if I copy him.

"Hm, interesting choice," The old lady commented. She then featured to a chair. "Now, come along, I'll teach you the basics."And that was, despite my silent protest, was how I began training as a ninja.

..-. .-. --- --

"Grandma Chiyo, when will mother and father come back?"

Whenever Sasori asked that question, I always had to look away. I knew that they were long dead, and yet, I couldn't help but feel pain deep down.

My relative (family...?) was holding on to such small hope. I knew it was wrong, Grandma Chiyo knew it was wrong— but we didn't say anything.

"Doll, come here." He motioned me over one time. 'Doll', that was the nickname he gave me after some time. At first, I was puzzled at it yet I soon became accustomed to it.

It was better than all the other ones I got.

Staring at the hand reaching out to me, I was skeptical, knowing exactly what was going to happen. On both sides, two puppets were sitting. If it weren't for the hard body structures and artificial hair, I wouldn't have thought that these were Sasori's parents.

...Parents. That left a sour taste whenever I thought of it. But, pushing them away, I came forward.

That's what I had to do, for that he called for it.

Nearing closer to the older one, I let him guide my body onto his lap, leaning on my back with a soft hum. Never would I have ever thought that I would sit with a fictional character. I thought to myself, watching as Sasori then crossed his arms around my body. Attaching his chakra threads to the puppets, they made clanking sounds as they huddled closer to us.

I felt myself shrink, shutting my eyes. Sasori... You miss them so much, don't you? I wanted to say, yet I knew it wouldn't change much. In the end, he would become a rogue ninja, a missionary, and later on— dead.

I didn't like the thought of it.

"Khi...!" Hearing the sharp intake of my relative, my eyes snapped open. Did Grandma Chiyo see us? The puppets that were once hugging us were now on the ground limp and cold. Just like a puppet.

I tilted my head up to see the frustrated expression of the redhead. "Sasori-san..." I couldn't find the words.

"It's fine." He spoke. Whether he was convincing me or himself, I didn't know. Wrapping his arms around my waist tightly, his chin propped against my head. "I only need you."

"I... I don't thi—think that's possible...!" I retorted back uncertainly, my eyes shifting to the ground. After all, I'm not good. I can't do much. I can only do things when people want me to.

I lie.

Just like what I'm doing right now. My chest felt so tight and heavy. I don't like it but— I don't want him to hate me, at how useless and terrible I am.

"Can you sing for me, doll?"

"Of course, Sasori-kun."

I'd rather be sent to hell than have those dear to me hate me.

- .... .

"Sasori-kun?" I knocked three times. No answer. "Sasori-kun, are you there?" Still no answer. I let out a sigh. Grandmother Chiyo needed something from him but I guess he's busy. I placed my hand on the flat surface of the door, only to want to walk away. Well, I shouldn't be here anyway—

I heard a creek. "Huh?" Darting my eyes back, the door had moved, giving just the smallest crack. It's unlocked? Peering closer, I saw that the other side was empty. Sasori's not here?I gulped nervously as the curiosity in me grew. I know I shouldn't but... I weakly pushed forward. I want to see what he has made.

Stepping in, I had to take in all the stationary. The workplace had supplies neatly stacked on a desk with many... um... I tried my very best to not look at the puppets hung on the walls. (It reminded me of—) So... this is where Sasori works. It's... pretty. I thought to myself, walking over to the desk.

There was a large paper that had large sketches and notes scribbled on it. Could this be another project? It looks familiar. I wondered, tracing my fingers on its outlines. The drawing had a long head with two long horns and six arms. Based on the notes on the sides, it's purpose is to capture its opponents.

I furrowed my brows. A puppet that only has one purpose? "It seems good but..."

"But?"

My breath hitched, whipping my head from behind. No no no! Pushing myself back, I felt my heart pound so much. It hurts... "Sa— Sasori-kun! I, um, I just—" The lump in my throat became unbearable as the tightness in my chest made me want to cry. "I was just— um, I," I bowed my head. "I'm sorry!"

Please don't hate me please don't hate me please don't hate me pleasepleasepleasedonthatemelikeevERYONE—

"It's fine." I almost choked at the sound of that.

"Huh...?" My head perked up.

What...?

The boy looked unfazed, yet he seemed... happy? Maybe even proud? "If it's you, doll," Stepping at my side, I had to crane my head to look at him. "I don't mind."

'I don't mind', those words repeated on and on in my head like a mantra. He doesn't... care? Does that mean... he's okay with me? I flinched at the touch of his thumb pressing lightly at my cheek. "Don't cry, it doesn't suit you." He ordered bluntly, yet there was a sort of softness to it.

It felt... nice.

My head bobbed downwards as my eyes landed on the ground. My heart... I can feel it but, it doesn't feel bad. "Mmn." I let out.

"Anyways," Sasori tore away his attention to the blueprints. "What was that you said about this?"

"A-Ah!" I stammered, raising my hands frantically. It just slipped out! "I, well— I," I hung my head. "I just think that it... seems impractical."

The redhead tilted his head, expression never changing— like he wasn't capable of doing so. "Care to explain?"

My lips pushed together. "I mean," My words paused, forming my thoughts out slowly. "For it to only capture... it seems less versatile and more— more of a hassle." I suddenly just realized what I just said. "Uh— well," I fumbled on my words with shakey hands. "I mean— it can be used efficiently as support! I just," I swallowed the lump in my throat sheepishly. "Feel like something can be changed."

From the corners of my eyes, the redhead placed a hand over his mouth in thought. "I see," Before I could apologize, I felt a hand on mine. I gasped, focusing my attention on him— he was smiling. "Thank you."

'Thank you'. When was the last time someone said that to me? Everything slowed to a stop right there and then.

I couldn't believe it: I was thanked. For something that wasn't even that good! Or— or even that important.

I... liked it.

"Thank you..." I felt compelled to say. "Thank you..."

"Stop repeating it."

"Sorry."

"Stop that as well." 

... .... .- -.-. -.- .-.. . ...

"Doll, is there something wrong?" I dreaded that line.

Tilting my head up at my relative who stared back at me with the same half-lidded eyes, I forced a smile. "I'm— I'm fine," I said.

"That doesn't sound like it." Standing up from his desk, he approached me. His messy red hair swayed as his head cocked to the side. "You know I hate waiting, say it." I flinched at the harsh tone, causing the boy to blink. I watched him sigh (I can't believe I bothered him— again.), "I mean, can you tell me?"

I'm sorry, I don't— I don't want to. I thought. But... he doesn't want that, does he? And the last time I didn't say anything, I... (the hateful stares, the pain they threw at me, it hurTS—) "I..." I took a deep breath. "My team will be set out on the battlefield." And it's wartime too...

"On the battlefield," He repeated to himself, narrowing his eyes. "You'll be fine. You are well-trained for this."

No, not at all. I wanted to say, yet I felt no power to do so. "But, I..." I hesitated. I don't want him to know— he doesn't need to know. He doesn't need to know the bad parts of me—

He doesn't need to know the fear I have inside.

"But what?" Sasori insisted, leaning closer. I instinctively reeled back but that only made things worse. Furrowing his brows, I couldn't help but feel the uneasiness prick my skin like needles. "What is it you are so worried about?"

"I... um, I—!"

"Why are you hesitating, doll?" He asked. "Aren't we family?"

...what...?

Fam... il... ly...?

"Aren't we family?"

I didn't even know I was screaming until I hit the ground. "NO!!!" My heartbeat— it hurts so much. I tried to breathe and breathe and breathe and breathe and— why can't I breathe?! Everything became blurry. I didn't know what was going— what is going on?!

I felt like I was falling into an abyss of dread. Falling falling falling fallingfallingfallingfallinGLIKEWHEN—

Everything was hot— but also so cold. "I— I so— am sorry!" I yelled, frantically with hands slapped over my mouth. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" I kept saying— it was the only thing I was good at. Tears fell out— not that I felt it over the dizziness. I don't— I—

He hates me now, doesn't he? Everyone's like that, everyone just leaves me whenever I did something wrong.

And I was none the wiser to not do anything about that.

--- ..-.

🎶 Now Playing: "Dies Irae" by Thomas of Celano 🎶

Everything hurt. Everything hurt so much. I— I can't do anything!

It hurts.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to hijack a transportation port. We were supposed to be protected by our sensei.

My team wasn't supposed to be brutally beaten up by one person.

"Kyahahahaha!!!" I vaguely heard the maniacal laughter as I struggled to get up. My throat tightened— so much I had to cough. Red dropped from my mouth, did I break something? My eyes darted around, everyone... they're all dead.

I couldn't do anything...!

"Oh? This one's still alive!" My blood ran cold as I heard footsteps approaching me. No— I have to— I have to run! I cried, crawling with my fingers dragging the dirt on the ground. "Now now,"

A sudden force on my stomach caused me to drop harshly. I couldn't help the scream coming out. "Augh—!"

"Don't think you can just leave, Suna shit."

When my vision got better, I felt so much pain at the huge grin on their face. My body felt so weak, all I could do was wince as they then pressed their foot on me. "Man, this war is so fun~!" The enemy ninja gushed with glee dripping off of their voice. Why? Why are they smiling? Do they think this is fun?! "But to think they'd send little kids like you— but then again, this place is just one big hell hole!"

They cackled more, the pressure on me becoming unbearable. Something wet streaked off of my face, blood or tears, I couldn't tell from the sheer fear in me. "Auu..." I hiccuped, feeling so powerless. "I— I'm so— hic! I'm sorry...!" I didn't know what else to do. Could I even do anything?

No. I couldn't. I could never do anything right.

"You're sorry?" The ninja hummed— was it in amusement? "Then, for being sorry," From my vision, I saw them raise they— they have a weapon. They have a weapon. Why? Why? Why?! "Die!!!"

It was as if everything went in slow motion.

Ah, God, is this my punishment? I couldn't help but wonder. Even after all I've done, I still meet a terrible end.

But, I just can't make anyone happy. Nobody loves me, I knew that very well. I just can't do anything right— and I paid the price.

Ah... I can't even try to fight back.

If... if only... I could just do one good thing— and had just done what mother said then...!

For once, I stopped myself.

...Mother?

Why am I thinking of her?

Everything stilled. My thoughts... were clear. Cleared than ever before.

Everything that I've done... was for everyone else's pleasure.

Did I... did I even get anything in return?

For once in my life, my chest didn't tighten in fear or pain or even despair. No, it was much more than that: deeper, deeper, more authentic— more boiling.

It was rage.

Why? All of my lives— why did I let myself get pushed around by others?! Why didn't I care about what I wanted?! Why didn't I let myself be happy?!

Why did I listen to them?!

🎶 Now Playing: "This is Me" by Keala Settle 🎶

"Fuinjutsu..." With all the power I had, my fingers lightly grasped my shirt. "Release." Feeling the rush of chakra coursing through my veins, I paid no second to punch them back.

"What the—?!" The ninja fell to the ground with a loud crunch, their weapon falling as well.

Coughing, I blinked as I wiped my face. "I..." My voice trembled as my fists tightened at my sides. My feet ached so much from standing but I didn't care anymore. "I am so— so tired." I huffed out, feeling myself full of chakra around. Pushing one of my legs to the back, I readied myself into a fighting position. "Goddamn it, I am done! I am done with letting people tramble over me! I am done with feeling like utter trash!"

I released a deep breath, steeling my resolve. "And I am not going to die today!"

I barely won. I was living off of pure will— I would've died if it weren't for nearby Suna teams coming in.

But for once, I was happy.

I was finally free.

- .... .

"Doll, what would you do if... I did something bad?" I rose a brow at Sasori's sudden and also strangely hesitant question.

Noticing how frustrated he looked, I approached him carefully. "What do you mean?"

"If I went against the village." My eyes widened. It's that time, isn't it? "Would you still care for me?"

"Of course," Came my immediate response, holding his hands. I pursued my lips. He's... really leaving. I never thought that it would be a hard decision and yet, I felt stumped. I didn't want him to leave, I really didn't but... I looked up to meet his caramel-like eyes, I don't want to get in the way of his life goal. "Even if you do anything bad, or curse this village, you're Sasori-kun. And that's all I care about."

His hands, were warm when they curled and mine. I'll... miss this warmth. I couldn't help but think, my eyes watering. Aah... why am I crying? I should have known this was inevitable.

Feeling a hand behind my head, I didn't object when the boy pulled me into a hug. "Thank you." I heard him whisper.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his body. "Thank you for accepting me."

--- .--. .. -. .. --- -. ...

I couldn't help but feel confused by what I saw. Is she... sleeping? Glancing around me, nobody was around in the middle of the night, only us two. Looking back at the woman, I felt apprehensive at the sight of her. How is she even sleeping when standing?

Placing a hand on her shoulder, all it took was a few hesitant yet weak shakes to make her lashes flutter.

"Mmn..." I blinked. Her eyes... they were like bright crystals. The sleepy girl rubbed her eyes, only to then look at me. I tensed on reflex. "Ah. Did I sleep again?"

Again? I pushed away those thoughts and pressed my hands together in front of me. "Um, do you need any help? It's quite dark outside."

"I... see." Her long hair swayed to the side as her head cocked to the side. "Mmn, yeah, thanks. Can I... ask for your name?"

I held a sheepish smile as I averted my eyes. "My name is Kugui, nice to meet you."

"Ah, my name's Suzume."

--- ..-.

"Run away!" I heard the voices of children as I headed home. It was the usual, I did live near a neighborhood filled with children. Minding none of it, I strolled briskly, aah... I have a date with Suzume!

I only stopped when I heard sniffles. Spinning the balls of my feet, I couldn't help but feel concerned. Who is crying? Walking towards the sound of it, I turned around a corner— only to widen my eyes.

On the ground was a small boy, hands rubbing his face with a white ball nearby. I noticed how the sand around us shifted everything so slightly. But the most noticeable able thing was his red hair and— and his huge eye bags.

That's... that's Gaara. I realized, placing a hand over my mouth. I knew he was born but, I didn't think I'd ever meet him! Ah. I cleared my throat sheepishly, making him dart his head at me.

"Hu— huh?" The boy whispered, throat slightly hoarse as his eyes were red. How pretty, I thought, they're like sea foam. "Who are you?"

I averted my eyes. I didn't think this through. Well, I placed my hand over my chest, forming a small smile. I might as well introduce myself. "My name is Kugui. May I ask for yours?"

The boy's eyes widened. He... reminded me a bit of myself. "Ga... Gaara." It sounded more of a question than a statement.

Walking closer, I crouched down just a few feet away from him. "Are you ok? You were crying a lot." I then realized what I just said. "A— ah, I don't mean to intrude!" I backtracked, waving my hands in embarrassment.

"... yeah," Gaara replied, seeming calmer than before.

I let out a deep breath of relief. "That's good!" I exclaimed. "So, are you going to do anything?"

"Why?" My lips tugged for a frown at his sudden question. "Why aren't you running away? Like everyone else?"

"I see why not to."

"I'm— I'm a monster!"

"Who told you that?" He fell silent, breaking eye contact. Letting out a sigh (Was I too harsh?), I pushed back a hair strand. "Hey, did you know?" The young child looked back at me. "People think I'm a monster too."

His eyes widened. "Wh— what?!" Gaara didn't understand. "But— but you're so nice!"

I pushed back at the memories of the villagers— of how distant everyone became after Sasori left, how everyone was scared, it hurt. But, I knew I didn't need them. "Yes. So, if you are a monster then," I let out a laugh. "Then I guess we'll be monsters together!"

--- - .... . .-. ... .-.-.-

"Gaara-kun, are you going to sleep?" I waited outside the door frame. On the other side of the room was Gaara, who didn't meet my eyes.

"You know I can't sleep."

I resisted the urge to sigh. It's been a few months since Gaara moved into our house, after the... incident with Yashamaru. It was the decision made by the Kazekage, knowing full knowledge of my fuinjutsu skills and my relationship with him. I didn't like the fact that they only did this because they wanted to control him.

When I told Suzume, I honestly thought that she would panic. Yet, one look and she gave the okay. Aah... I still can't believe I'm able to be with her. I thought to myself with a smile.

Bringing myself back to the present, I stepped close, hugging the boy. His sand had long forgotten to reach out and try to kill me— I was very happy when I learned I wasn't considered a threat to him. "You know, I can adjust the seal for you—"

"No!" He pushed me away, yet I knew he didn't mean any harm. "I just... what if that monster came out and killed you?" It sounded more of a statement than a question. As if he knew that was the answer.

I felt the warmth in my chest as I smiled. "It's okay, it won't happen." He didn't budge. Narrowing my eyes, I thought of a solution— only for it to hit me. "Gaara-kun, if you do not want me to change it then, can you promise me something?"

"What is it."

I felt a little uncertain about the idea. I don't want to scare him but... "I want you to be nice to them."

"What?!" He exclaimed, craning his head at me with wide eyes. "What do you—"

I cut him off. "Do you think they also wanted this situation? To be trapped." I asked, watching as the boy then stopped. "I don't expect you to be friends but, would it be bad to try to understand them?"

Gaara fell silent. "...No." His head bobbed in thought before he concluded. "If it's you then... then I can do it."

Releasing a sigh, I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Gaara-kun."

"Kugui, why do you smile?"

🎶 Now Playing: "Koukai no Uta" by Sayuri 🎶

With a blink, I glanced down at the child as I tilted my head in confusion. "What do you mean, Gaara-kun?"

The boy pursued his lips before averting my gaze. Is something the matter? "The villagers, they're all scared of you and yet," Ah, I see where he's going with this. "You still smile brightly."

My lips curled upwards as I let out a small exhale. I don't think it's all that bright but... Crouching to reach his height, I patted a hand on his head. The boy flinched yet his sand never came forward, not anymore. "That is true, I have to admit. And I do get hurt by it sometimes."

"Then why—"

"But you see, Gaara-kun," I held the boy close. "I know that I deserve better. So I won't let them get to me. For that, I only demand the love and respect I deserve." Letting him go, I stifled a laugh at his wide yet confused eyes. "What I mean is that," I gently pointed at where his heart should be.

"Know that you are worth more than what they think— prove them wrong."

A/N: More notes on my Ninjas are Wack book (on Quotev)!

Sorry if you got uncomfortable reading some stuff... but I did have a poll.

Anyways, thank you so much for the birthday wishes! The day wasn't much overall I appreciate every single one of it!

Sadly, exams are coming so if I don't update, I'm sorry! Let's just hope I can actually pass...

Tell me what you think of this chapter and I'll see you in the next update!

Extra:

"Hello, team," I placed a hand over my heart, one that was beating faster than usual. "My name is Kugui, I'll be your sensei from now on!" Despite everything, I was fiddling with the hem of my dress before I knew it. Haah... I'm so nervous!

To be honest, when I applied to be a Jonin teacher, I did not expect to be replacing Baki! Well, it made sense, being a fuinjutsu master and having a good relationship with Gaara, but still. My lips pushed together as my students (oh wow) stared at me with skepticism.

I almost laughed at Gaara's seemingly blank expression— he was definitely shocked. "My name is Temari Subaku, the oldest." The only blonde spoke up, placing a hand over her chest. She held her head high, yet I knew that she was hesitant being around... I'll need to fix that.

An unexpected gaps came out of my lips as she then slapped the back of Kankuro's head with a harsh glare. "Ow!" The hooded ninja yelped, clutching his head. "What the hell was that for?!"

"Introduce yourself!" My eyes went dry from how much I stared. Wha— do all siblings do this?!

Due to my concerned thoughts, I only vaguely noted how the boy then pulled his hood downwards, shooting his sister an annoyed look. "I'm Kankuro, nice to meet cha. Or whatever."

I smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Nice to meet you both, Temari-san, Kankuro-san." 

"Kugui."

My eyes blinked at the call of my name. Ignoring the way how the students stiffened, my attention turned to the youngest. "Yes?" With clenched fists at his sides, the petite boy strolled up to me. Ah. He's mad.

(Oh no. They both thought immediately, staring with utter horror. She's going to die. That monster is going to kill her. That monster is going to ki—)

"Why didn't you tell me this?" He stared up at me with annoyed eyes. His cheeks were slightly sucked in with his brow bones furrowing.

Oh my... "Gaara-kun... are you pouting?" I couldn't help but laugh when I caught him red-handed. The redhead flinched, eyes widening before averting away.

"You didn't answer my question." My smile widened at his softer response, despite it sounding blunt.

"Sorry," I bent my knees slightly as I reached out to pet his head. "I was planning for it to be a surprise." I answered truthfully, enjoying myself as he (unconsciously or not) leaned against my touch. Never would I thought that I would be able to do this until now. I tilted my head for a better angle. "In fact, as the first day of being a team, why don't we some food, shall we?"

The boy crossed his arms after a moment, stepping back. "...Alright." Well, he was satisfied for now.

Clasping my hands together, I darted my vision to the other siblings, who stood dumbfounded. "Come along now, we have so many things to talk about." I then blinked, hands raised up. "A— ah, only if you want to, of course!"

It took a whole minute for them to respond back.