Chapter 29 - Crush

"Get up." Aizawa's voice rang through your ears as you recovered from Todoroki's hit. You'd managed to pick yourself up after being released from your ice prison, but only achieved one feeble uppercut before Todoroki sent a half-assed kick to your side, knocking you back to the ground. Your limbs felt like lead as you pushed yourself to your feet once again.

It was your third session with Todoroki and Aizawa. The last few days had been full of tired muscles and blue tinted skin. You almost forgot what it felt like to be truly warm.

"Freeze her." Aizawa's tone was emotionless as he called for your continued torture. A thick venom coated your throat. While you knew your teacher was trying to help develop your quirk, you hated him in that moment.

Your eyes flashed red as you braced for impact. The ice hit your body like a tidal wave, enveloping you in an instant. You wiggled your fingertips.

Wait! I can wiggle my fingertips!

You looked down your nose, not being able to fully tilt your head and saw a red pulsing light within the ice. You wiggled some more. The ice felt softer, weaker. The light began to move, further and further up the column. You could bend your wrist, your elbow.

You stared up at Todoroki. His eyes were wide as he watched you glow. You tensed the muscles in your arm and punched forward. The ice cracked at your contact and you released your arm. It was covered in a bright dancing flame. You blinked. [e/c]. The fire went out.

"Again." Todoroki covered your free arm in fresh crystals. You tried to focus on the feeling. What had you been feeling? Fear? Hatred? Exhaustion? You longed for the flame to ignite on your skin, to feel the melting ice slide between your fingertips. But nothing happened. You just stood frozen, your teeth beginning to chatter once more.

"Release her," Aizawa finally said after another minute. Todoroki melted the ice quickly and threw a fresh towel over your shaking frame. You were proud you hadn't dropped to your knees again. "What happened?" your teacher asked after some color returned to your cheeks.

"Well, if I'm being honest, I was pissed that you would have him freeze me again." Your teacher hummed.

"Anger," he said almost to himself.

"Yeah, I guess anger. Is that important?" You twitched your fingers and toes, trying to regain feeling. Todoroki rested a hand on your back, sending calming waves of warmth through your body.

"It's the first time you've set fire without being in mortal danger. Instead, you channeled your power into a feeling. A strong feeling. Anger."

"So now I have to be angry all the time for this stupid thing to work? Who do you think I am, Bakugou?" you almost said it as a joke, but then recoiled, suddenly feeling that familiar pang in your chest. He still hadn't spoken to you. He hadn't returned to the lunch table. You didn't know where he went to eat or train.

"I don't think you'll always need to be angry," Aizawa ignored your comment. "But I think it's a big step toward controlling your fire, if you can direct it into something other than survival. You called it a stress response. Feelings of anger can cause a rush of adrenaline just as much as fear of death."

"So, you think it's adrenaline?" You started to pace, your legs feeling less shaky.

"Adrenaline can be caused by things as simple as exercise or watching a horror movie. If we can link your power to these more mundane adrenaline sources, you should be able to control your fire at a near subconscious level," Aizawa stated, looking thoughtful.

"So, we'll watch scary movies and work out together [y/n]," Todoroki finally spoke. You stared at him like he had three heads. "I'm your partner and we want to get this under control, right? And if you can make flame while doing something mundane, I'll be the right person to help you control it." You couldn't help but feel shocked at his offer.

"Good," Aizawa said before you could comment. "I think we're done for the day. [l/n] I need you trying to release your flames constantly. It's not just about these trainings anymore."

You thought of what your day would feel like if you were always on edge, always trying to chase an adrenaline rush, focused solely on setting your body on fire. You shivered, and not from the cold.

"Yes sensei," you answered anyway. You did need to master this.

***

You walked with Todoroki back to the dorms. It finally hadn't taken you fifteen extra minutes to regain feeling in your legs to walk back on your own. While you and Todoroki appeared to be on good enough terms to train and walk together, you still hadn't apologized for the gala. The awkward tension hung between you like a curtain. You opened your mouth to speak.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened after the gala," Todoroki said before you could get your own words out. Your head snapped up to look at him. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he stared off at the horizon.

"Why would you need to apologize? I'm the one who pushed you away."

"If I'd known that you were with Kirishima I wouldn't have invited you in the first place. That was unfair of me." Your mind was racing.

"I'm not with Kiri!" you nearly shouted, a baffled expression on your face. You stopped walking and Todoroki finally looked at you.

"Then why was Bakugou screaming in the dorms about you kissing Kirishima the other day?" Oh, dear God. You were sure your eyes bulged from your head.

"That was a misunderstanding! We're not together. We're friends. Honest." You started swatting around your arms, trying to push away the words. You could feel fresh sweat drip down the back of your neck, mingled with the melted ice water trickling from your hair.

"Oh," Todoroki said quietly. He started walking again and you tentatively followed. "Then if it wasn't someone else, was I reading the whole situation wrong?" The curtain drew up between you two again.

"I like you Shouto. I just don't like you like you," you said, twisting the end of your damp braid between your fingers.

"What?" The boy looked genuinely confused.

"I like you as a friend. I like hanging out with you and studying with you. And I liked going to the gala and dancing with you. But I don't like you... romantically," you explained awkwardly. The boy hummed in understanding.

"If I can ask Shouto, why did you ask me to the gala anyway? Why not ask one of the other girls? You've known them all so much longer." You tilted your head, trying to catch his downcast eyes.

"You're new." Your stride faltered. You weren't expecting that.

"So?"

"I think I've grown a lot since last year. I... I had a lot of issues with my family. I thought I couldn't use my fire side. I was distant to everyone in the class." You listened intently at his honesty. "I've been slowly building relationships and trust with everyone, but sometimes I still think they see me as I was at the beginning of last year. You came in and saw me as I am now, and you were kind and open. I liked that about you. I liked who I was in your eyes." You smiled at his words.

You placed a gentle hand on his back and he stopped walking. You stepped in front of him so he could look into your eyes and took his shoulders in both your hands, the way Bakugou had on your first day as partners, ensuring he really listened.

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit. Don't you think your friends in the class know how hard you've worked to break out of your shell? I didn't know you before, but they did. Don't you think they're proud of how you've grown?"

***

Bakugou had made up his mind to talk to you. It was eating away at his focus. Every training, every homework assignment, he thought of how you'd worked together. Hell, he'd had a bag of Kara Mucho chips on the roof, where he'd been eating his lunch alone all week, and ended up throwing them from the building at the memory of your stupid high heel bet.

He still couldn't grasp this feeling. He'd never felt like this about anyone. He tolerated Shitty Hair and the other idiots who hung around him. He'd even learned to put up with Deku and IcyHot to some extent during their internship together last winter. But he didn't just endure your presence. He craved it.

You were the one who came without warning. Months of fighting and bickering had turned into laughter and respect and trust. You broke down every defense effortlessly and now all he wanted to do was to make you smile, to hold you, to maybe even get the chance to kiss you. You had his heart before he could think to fight it.

Until he'd been called out by Kirishima, he could push down his feelings, but now...

But now he'd gone and ignored you for days, pouting and sulking about what to do. He couldn't look at your bright smile or shiny [h/c] hair without feeling a blush creep up his neck and a ball of guilt build in his gut.

"I'm such a dumbass," he whispered to himself as he left the gym, kicking pebbles with his boots.

A mark of [h/c] hair caught his eye as he rounded the main glass building. His pulse raised just a hair until he realized you were with Todoroki. More than that, you were holding his shoulders and staring up at him with your earnest [e/c] eyes. He brushed his own shoulders subconsciously remembering how you'd sat on his bedroom floor and promised to get stronger together. He shook the memory away.

She doesn't need me anymore.

He kicked another pebble, now even more unsure about talking to you. He took the long way back to the dorms, opting not to cross paths.

***

"You think they're proud of me?" Todoroki's eyes went wide.

"I really do." You moved out of Todoroki's way and started to walk beside him once more. "Do you want anyone in particular to be proud of you?" you prodded, a coyness in your tone. Todoroki's ears went pink.

"I thought... last year... she was nice to me too." His tone was quiet, but a small smile danced at the corners of his lips, as if reliving a memory.

"Who?" you pried. You couldn't help but smile at his shyness.

"Yaoyorozu," his blush deepened as he said her name. You bit your lip, remembering all the times she'd mentioned him, how dejected she looked when you'd gotten ready for the gala. She clearly liked him too.

"Did you ever tell her? Did you ever ask her out?" you said brighter.

"No. I can't believe I'm even telling you."

"Shouto." He turned his flushed face toward you. "I'm really flattered that you liked me or thought you liked me, but if you still have any feelings toward Yaomomo, I think you should tell her, or at the very least ask her to, oh, I don't know, study, go for ice cream, something." You put more conviction in your tone. "I'm pretty sure she'll be more receptive than you think." You saw his eyes brighten.

"Really?"

"Really." You walked the rest of the way to the dorm discussing his crush.