Chapter 21 - Exhale

"You what?" The explosive blond was taken aback.

"I wasn't sure. But now I am," you responded. Your tone was flat and unsettling.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you are going to explain to me what you did today. I wanted to give you space, but I guess I'm just that selfish. What the fuck was that quirk?" You finally turned to face him. His figure was silhouetted on the door. You looked into his questioning eyes. He wasn't here to yell at you. He was here to understand. You took a deep breath and stared at the wall once more.

"Last year..." you began, your voice soft and pained. "Last year I went for a run over winter break. I had gone five, maybe six miles and was listening to a book through my headphones. I had run that circuit dozens of times. I was no more than a mile from my campus when I felt arms wrap around my shoulders and neck. Then a cloth was pressed over my mouth and nose." Your breath hitched as you recalled the sensation. Bakugou took a tentative step further into the room.

"I woke up in some kind of warehouse. My hands were covered with shackles. They must have known my quirk. There were no candles, no fireplaces. No one even smoked a cigarette for me to pull from."

"There were four of them. In my mind I named them - Scar, Slash, Knuckles and Riddle." You spoke slowly, remembering each of their faces. "Riddle would come into my little room and ask me over and over and over where to find the Misfits. I didn't know what he was talking about. I still don't."

"Every time I didn't answer, one of the others would come in. Slash used a whip. Knuckles used his fists. And Scar... Scar used a knife." Bakugou's face was that of pure horror. "I was there for three days. Every night they would drug me and every morning they would begin the questioning and torture again..." You wrapped your arms around your body, limited by the bandages. You realized you were shaking. Bakugou came closer, finally daring to sit on the bed next to you. He watched your foggy eyes relive every horrifying moment.

"On the fourth morning I woke up to a dagger cutting into my arm. I watched my own blood pour onto the floor. I had lost so much blood it almost didn't faze me anymore."

"Riddle came in. He told me if I didn't tell him about the Misfits this time, he would kill me. I was always taught, never let them see your fear, but I was passed that. I cried, and I begged but he just scowled at me, disgusted that I would choose death over answers. But I had none to give. Riddle left, but Scar stayed." You shifted on the bed, pushing your back against the wall and staring up at the ceiling. You shook your head in disbelief.

"The next thing I remember, I was in the woods. The ground was snowy, and I was barefoot. My arms and back were bare and stinging from the cuts, the whippings, and what I didn't realize were fresh burns." Bakugou looked at your bandaged arms, his eyes going wide in understanding.

"I smelled smoke and I walked toward it, not feeling the cold leaves or the snapping twigs under my feet. A building was on fire. I could hear sirens and people yelling. As I got closer, I saw someone pumping water onto the roof and through windows."

"I found my way to the street and stood next to a police car. Not that I even realized it was there at the time. I felt a hand touch my elbow, and I snapped, releasing my tendrils and pinning a man to the ground. Another man, I'm guessing a police officer, pulled me off him and I dissolved my ropes."

"I sat on the ground shivering as someone draped me in a blanket and asked if I was alright, if I had been in the fire. I couldn't speak. I just rocked back and forth until I saw an ambulance pull up, my focus only on the red and blue spinning lights. Someone said they thought I was in shock. I guess I must have been."

"But then I saw them. There were two black bags on the ground. Body bags. Two other unconscious bodies were sent into the ambulance. Their skin was covered in deep burns and ash and they had oxygen masks strapped to their faces. I learned later that they died of asphyxiation on the way too the hospital. There was too much soot in their lungs." Bakugou draped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you gently toward his warmth. You didn't resist and felt tears well up in your eyes.

"I was taken to the hospital. And when the doctors and police asked me what happened I tried to explain. But I couldn't remember the fire. All I knew was that I had been cut and beaten to within an inch of my life, but somehow they were the ones who were dead." The tears fell.

"I killed them. I killed them." Bakugou held you as you sobbed into his shoulder, shaking and sniffling.

"I'm not here because my mom got a new job. I'm here because I couldn't stay at Blackstone anymore. I couldn't walk those halls. I couldn't run those streets. I couldn't have everyone look at me with pity and only see my scars." You sniffed in, clearing your nose.

"They couldn't prove I had started the fire. Even if they could, they said they'd mark it down as self-defense. But there's a file somewhere with my name on it and it's linked to a body count." You roughly wiped the tears from your eyes.

"Principal Nezu was at a conference and heard about my case. He offered me a spot here. He offered me a second chance to be a hero even though I don't deserve it."

"You deserve it," Bakugou finally spoke, pulling you from your horrific memory. "You deserve it more than anyone. When no one came to save you, you saved yourself. You were a hero." You finally looked up at the boy. His features were softer than you'd ever seen.

"If I hadn't hurt you like that today your body wouldn't have released those flames. You wouldn't have gone into survival mode and I..."

"Stop," you cut him off and pulled on the collar of his shirt, staring into his face. He instinctively reached up to toss your hand aside, but he paused, his hand resting gently against your wrist, mesmerized by your broken eyes. The remnants of tears in the darkness made them glisten. "Don't apologize for something you couldn't have possibly known."

"No, you don't understand [y/n]. I could have killed you." While his voice was still quiet, his tone held more command. "I panicked and I hurt you. When I saw your body lying still on the ground..."

"Let's not talk about it anymore." You released his collar and snuggled back into his embrace, hearing his heartbeat through his shirt. "Will you just stay with me?"

Bakugou didn't answer, just rested his chin on top of your head, breathing in the scent of your hair. He held you until you fell asleep in his arms.

***

You stirred a few hours later, feeling warmer than you normally did under your blanket. A fresh sheet of rain pounded against your window and the faint smell of caramel wafted around you. You blinked your eyes open and saw white bandages and a white skull. You were suddenly wide awake. You pulled back slowly, only to hear a faint grumble against your hair.

He was... still here. You had been sleeping against Bakugou's signature black skull T-shirt. As you pulled back more and more your arms and chest ached terribly.

Finally free you looked at the sleeping boy. He was so soft, so peaceful. Something in you dared to reach out and brush his hair but you shook away the thought, newly preoccupied by the darkness spreading across your shirt.

You stood from the bed and shuffled to your bathroom, grabbing the small stack of dressings from the nightstand, careful not to wake Bakugou. You needed to check on your bandages. After closing the door, you turned on the bathroom light. It took your eyes a moment to adjust before you took in the bloody scene on your torso. You'd bled through your night shirt and your dressings needed changing. You bit your lip as you raised your arms high enough to pull the shirt over your head, holding in a cry. Then you tugged on the edge of an adhered bandage. A small whimper left your lips as you fought through the pain of unraveling the gauze covering your chest.

"[y/n]?" Bakugou's sleepy voice called from outside the door.

"I'm fine," you lied, gritting your teeth and pulling another strand.

"I can hear you wincing and moaning," he said it like it was normal.

"I just need to redo my bandages. It's bleeding through. I got it." You let out a small yelp as you raised your arms higher.

"Bullshit Ashtray. I'm coming in."

"No. No. Really it's fine." The door clicked open. Bakugou could see the half-removed strips of gauze hanging from underneath your right armpit. Your face was flushed from the exertion of such a small task.

"You're pathetic, you know that?"

"Very funny. Now get out."

"No. Let me do it." Bakugou delicately pulled the bandage around your body. You held your hands in front of your chest. Your face flushed harder as his hands ran up and down your sides and back, unraveling the bandages without venturing to your front. Within a minute the bandages were gone, and you stood effectively topless with your back to him.

It was painfully intimate. Not just your current state of undress, but the way you'd opened up about your past. But every touch of his fingers felt like he understood, like he was still keeping his promise to not judge you. For the first time in a long time you felt truly safe with someone.

"Is this where?" His fingertips trailed across your back. The whippings. You knew you had crisscrossed scars on your back, some deeper and wider than others. Even with the healers they never fully went away.

"Yes," you said quietly.

"They're-" unsightly, disgusting, horrible- "badass," he said, still skimming the soft skin. You almost smiled but your breath hitched, and he stopped.

"Can you hand me the ointment on the dresser?" Bakugou returned a moment later with the green tube. He uncapped it and handed it to you. You painfully rubbed some to the large wound above your left breast. The surrounding skin was purple and bruised, and the cut itself was weeping. Blood flowed as you added the moisture of the balm. "And a towel?" He handed you a small hand towel from the rack to your left. You dabbed the towel across the wound, removing any fresh blood.

"I... I can do the rest." You heard a 'tsk'.

"Hold the bandage in front of you and I'll pull it back," he spoke with kind authority. While you thought better of it, you still pressed the new dressing to the wound and held it in place. Bakugou pulled the edges along your sides, sending goosebumps along the flesh. You held another and he repeated the motion until the wound was well covered and you were no longer exposed.

"Can you grab me a new shirt? Second drawer on the left?" You heard a drawer slide open and closed. He handed you a dark purple band tee.

"You need help with this too?" he said in a mocking tone.

"Well, it you hadn't gone and fucked up my chest..." You softened as the cotton flowed past your face. Bakugou gently pulled your arms through each sleeve. You quickly washed your hands and finally turned around. "Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever." He scratched the back of his neck as he headed to the door. You snapped off the bathroom light and headed into the main space, now back in shadows.

"Thank you... for everything." He stopped. "... I've never told anyone," you added after a pause.

Suddenly he was in front of you, his frame towering several inches over yours. He leaned closer, ever so slightly. You looked at his eyes, his lips, the way the hazy moonlight through the window bounced off his strong jaw, further chiseling his features. He brushed a fallen hair behind your ear. You held your breath.

It was different than it had been in the tunnel, but you felt your pulse quicken just the same. This wasn't an adrenaline rush. It was something different. Something real. Something that mattered. You tilted your chin.

"Thank you for telling me." He pulled away just as suddenly and left the room before you could exhale.