Part 4

TW: (allusion to/jokes about) sex, injuries, (flashbacks to) physical torture, (allusion to) sexual assault, panic attack, swearing (including f*g)

When the others had caught on that Lloyd and Kai were going to sleep together that night, they very lightly made fun of them.

"HAHAHAHA YOU'RE GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER, THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY, HAHAHAHA!!!" Jay burst into laughter.

"JAY!!" Cole hit him round the head but started laughing as well. "He isn't wrong though,"

"Aghhhh, guysss," Lloyd groaned, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment. Kai crossed his arms and shook his head in sarcastic disapproval. Nya giggled despite her attempts at not joining in with Cole and Jay.

"Don't be... too loud, if you know what I mean," Nya winked, and couldn't hold back her laughter when Lloyd started buzzing with embarrassment, Cole and Jay fell to the floor wheezing. Even Kai had to blush at that one.

"Oh come on you guys, you're so immature," Kai rolled his eyes, patting Lloyd's head trying to calm him down.

"I don't understand, how could they be loud if they are sleeping?" Zane's innocence made all of them laugh harder, even Kai joined in, but Lloyd shrunk back even further.

"Oh man, Zane, buddy, we're not talking about sleeping," Jay finally managed to say after regaining his breath. Cole was still bent on the floor, half-coughing, half-laughing. Zane stood in thought for a moment, the others all waiting for him to understand in an expecting silence. Lloyd was gently tugging at Kai's sleeve, having recovered from his head-throbbing embarrassment.

"Oh, wait," Zane looked over at Kai and Lloyd. "Are you going to have--" Zane wasn't able to finish his sentence as Jay and Cole burst into more fits of laughter.

"Zane!! Not you too!!!!" Lloyd was so hot with embarrassment his voice came out in a squeal, making Nya, Zane, and even Kai laugh too. Lloyd pouted and turned away. "Well then forget about your cuddles, Kai," Lloyd remarked sarcastically.

"Wait what!? Noooo! I'm sorry Greenbean!" Kai stifled his laughter and hugged Lloyd from behind.

Lloyd waved him off.

"No no, too late for apologies, good night." Lloyd walked off making a show.

"Lloyd!" Kai played along and ran after him, the others all still laughing.

"Seriously though, make sure you go easy on Lloyd!" Cole called after them.

"GOODNIGHT TO YOU TOO!" Kai yelled back, more laughter ensuing. Lloyd took Kai's sleeve and dragged them to Kai's door.

They stood for a moment calming down, giggling together at the mess of the teasing, and finally sighed, getting their breath back.

"Ok, I'm going to go get changed in my room, and you should take a shower," Lloyd was the first to break their silence.

"I would say I'm insulted but I actually want to rinse off, so I'm not arguing," Kai chuckled and kissed Lloyd on the cheek before going into his room. Lloyd smiled.

"Good, I'll be waiting in your bed."

When Kai got out of the shower, he noticed his face in the mirror and stared. From all the fuss with the nurses, he knew that his scar and bruise were pretty bad, but... maybe it was just the heat from the shower, but he looked terrible. No wonder his scar had stung so badly. Along with his eye bags and empty eyes, it all made him feel like he wasn't staring at himself.

"Kai? You good?" Lloyd spoke from the other side of the door. Kai quickly put on his pyjamas.

"Uh, yeah, I'm-- I'm fine I just..." He zoned out again, about to put on his shirt, when he noticed his chest now that the mirror was clearer.

The marks.

The cuts.

The bruises.

"AGH! STOP IT!! PLEASE!! AGHHH!!!" Kai screamed but he kept flicking the whip back. He'd done it so much, blood had started to seep through his skin. Kai sobbed from the pain, he just wanted the warmth of home, the pain to stop, to see his friends again.

As he sobbed louder, the man stopped. Shaking his head in disgust at Kai's agony.

"Listen here, fag, keep screaming like that and I'll have to tie your mouth shut, got it?" He grabbed Kai by his hair and forced his head up to look him in the eyes.

Kai shook with panic and pain. He held in his sobs and nodded gingerly.

The man inspected Kai's face, nearing closer to him.

"Your next punishment will be more... fun..." He gave Kai a dirty smile and dropped him to the floor. Kai held his breath in shock and dread. He looked to the floor and flinched at the sound of the door slamming.

"Kai!?" Lloyd whispered to him, gently tucking Kai's hair out of the way. Kai gasped for air as if he had been drowning. He leaned back, against the bathtub, breathing heavily and holding his chest.

Tears welled in both of their eyes, though Kai tried to cover his, squeezing his eyes shut, while Lloyd let his tears fall. His heart ached seeing Kai so panicked and hurt.

Kai gulped down in his emotions, trying to calm his breath, making it seem like he wasn't on the verge of a panic attack, but when he opened his eyes he only found Lloyd looking at him with a disappointed look, disapproving him for hiding his emotions. He nudged closer to Kai and took his hand that was on his chest.

"C'mon, let's get into bed and you can cry it out, no filter, no covering up emotions, no suppressed feelings, ok?" Lloyd said shakily. Kai closed his eyes again. He was so tired. He wanted to leave his mind, or for it to shut up, everything was just too much, all of these thoughts, and reminders, and memories, and flashbacks--

He, again, gulped down his new tears and nodded slowly, opening his eyes and giving a weak smile to Lloyd.

When Lloyd got into bed after Kai, they first just lay there, looking at each other, before Kai turned to lie on his back, trying to shake off his thoughts.

"Can..." Lloyd hesitated, biting his cheek. Kai turned his head to look at Lloyd. "...can you tell me what happened? Just now in the bathroom?" He finished. Kai thought.

"It... it was just a flashback..." He murmured, closing his eyes and placing his hands on his chest.

"A flashback...?" Lloyd prompted. Kai felt his eyes sting again.

"I saw the marks-- the marks on my chest... and I guess it triggered the memory of receiving them..." Kai answered, his voice unsteady from holding in his cries. Lloyd saw pain written all over Kai's scrunched-up face, trying to stop himself from crying again.

"Do you... want to talk? About what happened to you?" Lloyd asked cautiously. Kai wasn't able to keep his tears in, and despite what Lloyd had told him, he really didn't want to cry in front of him again. He turned away and sighed shakily as his tears fell.

"I... I don't know, Lloyd... what do you want me to tell you?" Kai asked back in a whisper. Lloyd tried to think but his tears messed with his thoughts.

"I don't know... I just... I-- I wish that you were able to just tell me that nothing happened to you and that that could be true, I--" Lloyd sobbed, wiping his tears with his sleeve. Hearing Lloyd cry broke Kai's heart. "I wish that you could tell me that all that I think happened to you, didn't happen, but I know it did and-- and I just--" Lloyd covered his face with his arm, trying to regain control of his cries. Kai turned over and placed his hand on Lloyd's arm, moving it back down onto the mattress. Lloyd opened his eyes and they lay there gazing into each other's teary eyes.

Kai attempted to think about where he would start with telling Lloyd about all that had happened, but the more he thought about it, the more he just wanted to sob into Lloyd's shoulder like back on the roof.

And Lloyd could see that.

He moved his hand on top of Kai's, refocusing him back to real life. Lloyd gave Kai a comforting smile and Kai let him wiggle his other arm underneath his head. He moved closer to Lloyd. Lloyd put a leg onto Kai's and pulled him closer with a hug, bringing Kai's head down. Kai snuggled his face into Lloyd's neck and wrapped his arm around Lloyd.

All of a sudden, all of the sobs Kai had spent the night shoving down, came up all at once, and he cried into Lloyd. He sobbed and sniffled and hiccoughed until he fell asleep to Lloyd's quiet shushing.

"Thank you, Lloyd," Kai breathed, half-conscious. Lloyd played with Kai's hair with a small smile, still holding him tightly.

"Of course,"