cries

Jaebum POV

I never expected this.

It's so heartbreaking.

May Mark Rest in Peace.

I'm taking it well even though it hurts. But I can't say the same for everyone else.

Youngjae can't believe it. His condition has gotten worse. He won't be released anytime soon. Erica fortunately said he could go to Mark's funeral.

Youngjae cries almost everyday. He wishes he could've said goodbye. Don't we all wish we could've.

Jongin took it pretty hard. Once Ping told us his never-ending smile dropped.

He took off from work. I don't blame him.

It's hard to work in the place were you met such a great young man. And then to learn he passed.

It hurts.

Jimin is no better. He hasn't left his house since I told him. I called him earlier.

He couldn't even say two words. He already started to cry.

But no one has it worst than Jackson.

He held Mark as he died.

He had his blood on him.

Mark's last words were to Jackson.

Their wedding was supposed to be this Saturday.

Shit.

This must be really hard for Jackson.

I know it is.

Now we're at the wake service. The funeral is tommorrow.

Youngjae cries into my arm.

We stare at Mark in the casket.

"At least he looks peaceful." I try to lighten the mood.

It just makes Youngjae cry more.

I have a grim look on my face.

Jimin comes up.

"Damn you Mark. Why'd you have to leave us?" Jimin cries into his handkerchief.

"I can't believe there's so many people here." I turn to Jinyoung.

"I'm surprised you came."

"We didn't have the best history but he's still a human being. I should show my respect."

"Good man." Jongin's deep voice rumbles behind us.

I give him a hug.

"It's okay man. Save the hugs for Jackson." Jongin wipes his tears.

I look around the room.

Many people are here.

"See Mark? Many people did love you." Chanyeol smiles at Mark in the coffin.

"You flew here?" I ask.

"How else would I get from one country to another." Chanyeol shakes his head.

He's been studying abroad in America to become a lawyer. Haven't seen him in a while.

I haven't seen Jackson in a while.

"I wonder were Jackson is?" Jinyoung looks around the room.

"I want to give him a thousand hugs." Youngjae whispers.

I smile.

So sweet.

Soon the funeral home's door swings open.

Ping walks in.

"Hi you guys." She gulps when she sees Mark in the coffin.

"Where's Jackson?"

"He's coming. Give him some space. He's not doing too good." She rubs her arms.

The funeral home doors creak open.

Jackson walks in.

His eyes are lifeless.

His hair hangs over his eyes.

His tie hangs low.

His suit jacket is open.

He looks miserable.

Everyone stops what they're doing.

We all watch Jackson.

He walks slowly to Mark's coffin.

We all step out of his way.

He stares at Mark.

I see his body shake.

His face contorts.

"Mark!" He bellows in agony.

He grabs Mark's hand and sobs.

I see the agony on his face.

Ping rubs his back.

"Please come back. You know what today is Mark? Our wedding day. They day we become one. The day when you become a Wang. The day when we live happily ever after."

He pulls out a velvet box from his pocket.

He takes the ring out and slides it on Mark's finger.

"It's beautiful isn't it? You would say it's beautiful right? But-but I can't hear it. I stared at the stars last night. I told myself that you're one of those stars. You're a star Mark. You light everyone's darkness even when you're not here." Jackson weeps.

A tear rolls down my cheek. We all cry at Jackson's words.

The undertaker tells us that it's time to take Mark back to the Morgue.

Jackson screams.

They're powerful.

I've never seen a person in so much agony.

He grabs for the coffin.

We have to hold him back.

As I hold him I can feel him trembling.

"Mark." Jackson mumbles and falls on the floor crying and shaking.

"Mark!" He repeatedly calls Mark's name out.

Just like how Mark repeatedly called us doctors liars.

They really are soulmates. When they're hurt the most. They repeat what hurts them the most.

Mark repeated liars because all the people who've hurt him were all liars.

Jackson repeats Mark's name because he lost him. The love of his life. He lost him. It's the worst pain he's ever felt.

The wake ends.

Now today is the funeral.

Jackson looks worst than yesterday. His eyes are already puffy.

His hair a mess.

His eyes more lifeless than before.

"Jackson?" I finally get the courage to talk to him.

He turns his head slowly to me.

My eyes meet his lifeless eyes.

Their just brown dots sitting in a pool of white.

I pull him into a hug.

He doesn't need any words. What good will they do?

I hug him tight.

He wails.

He shakes and cries.

I comfort him with all my efforts.

Jongin, Jimin, Chanyeol, Youngjae, Jinyoung, Ping, even Erica, give him a hug.

Our hugs bring a little bit of life back into his eyes.

Us hugging him is our way of telling him we're here for him without using words.

The funeral service begins.

I take a seat with Youngjae and Jongin.

Jackson walks in with Ping.

He stares at Mark in the coffin.

He sits with Ping. His eyes never leave Mark.

The minister starts to speak. He says that this had been an agonizing tragedy. He says some other stuff but all I notice is Jackson crying.

It's time for the speeches.

Youngjae goes first. I pat his back before he walks to the podium.

"Mark hyung was an amazing man. We might not have known each other that well. But I know that he was amazing. When we shared the same cell he made me feel less depressed. He tried to lift my spirits no matter what. Even though he himself was suffering. Suffering more than anyone. He fought and fought. He is strong. Stronger than any of us. And I hope he's staying strong in heaven." Youngjae bows and walks of the stage.

Everyone claps. Even Jackson.

Next is Jongin. He looks at me before he walks on stage.

He clears his throat.

"Mark. He was my favorite patient at Platnium. Even though he caused many disturbances, he made my job more enjoyable. When he had good days he would make all the doctors laugh. Nobody knew how much character Mark had. He's someone that your heart can just attach to. I'll always remember how straightforward he was. I'll always remember how fun he was. I'll always remember how happy he was with Jackson. I'll always remember him." Jongin's voice cracks and his tears silently fall.

He bows and leaves the stage.

Everyone claps. Jongin goes to Jackson and hugs him.

Jackson cries into his shoulder.

"Thank you. That was beautiful." Jackson whispers to Jongin.

But the church is so silent you can hear everyword.

Jongin smiles and once again everyone in the church claps.

Next speech is mine.

Jackson watches me as I get up.

We nod at each other.

I make my way to the podium. I look at all the eyes on me.

A bit nerve racking.

I gulp.

"Before I begin I want to thank all of you for coming. It makes me happy to know that Mark was loved by other people more than myself and his close friends. Thank you for coming to this service. All he wanted was love and look what we have here. So many people showing him love." I clap and everyone else follows suit.

Jackson smiles grimly as he claps.

Jongin smiles proudly while looking around the room.

Once the clapping dies down I continue with my speech.

"I'm not going to lie to you. When I first met Mark I was scared. His mind wasn't stable at the time we met. I thought to myself, "This kid is a lost cause." I proved myself wrong. The day that I talked to Jackson Wang was the day that Mark's whole life took a change. For the first time since I known Mark I never seen him smile. Not until Jackson came. He even made Mark laugh for the first time in a long time. It warmed my heart to see Mark so happy. But then Jackson and Mark had an accident. It may sound horrible but I made Jackson fake his death." The church fills with gasps.

"It was for Mark. To help him. To teach him that people do care about him. While Mark thought he was dead, Jackson worked to put the people who've hurt Mark the most in jail. It worked. Mark felt safe. And once he felt safe the more he opened up. The more time I spent with him and Jackson, the more I loved them. We had great laughs and jokes together. We had a friendship that no one could compare to. But now." I pause.

Tears threaten to fall from my eyes.

"But now that he's gone I realise how much of an impact he's made on my life. Not only his life became merrier mine did too. And so many other people's lives became merrier because of him." I look at Jongin and Youngjae.

I look at Jimin.

I look at Jackson and Ping.

"Mark was an outstanding man. A man never to be forgotten. He's left his imprint in this world. A man that never fell into the trap that's called his mind. I'll never forget you Mark. None of us will. Please Rest in Peace. Thank you." I bow and I wipe my eyes.

Dammit.

I can't control my tears.

Jackson stands up and walks to the podium.

He hugs me.

I comforted him. Now he comforts me.

I haven't cried since I heard the news but now it's all hitting me.

He's really fucking gone.

I cry into Jackson's shoulder.

"Thank you Jaebum. Your words really touched me. I'm sure Mark loved your speech. Because I know I did." I feel his tears on my shoulder.

We cry together.

Everyone claps.

Me and Jackson pull away.

We smile at each other.

I ruffle his hair.

We walk down the stage.

We go back to our seats.

I wipe my eyes.

"That was beautiful." Youngjae rubs my back and kisses my cheek.

I smile at him.

The next speech is Jimin.

Jimin looks at me before he walks up the stage.

"Mark was my best friend. We both had rough times during school. He was the first person to ever talk to me. He was the first person to understand me. He showed me that there's always hope. He helped me when my boyfriend became abusive. He helped me when I did lethal drugs. He helped me so much. I feel like I haven't repayed him enough. He always told me, "Your happiness makes me happy enough." He's so great. He didn't care about anything else but my happiness. Even when I acted so shitty he still knew that the Jimin that he knows and loves is still in here." Jimin points to his chest.

"Why did such a caring strong man have to go? He was so passionate about helping people. He cared for people more than he did himself. His heart is as warm as the Sahara desert." Everyone chuckles.

"Mark. You will be missed. I'll never forget you. Thank you for being the best friend anyone could ever have." Jimin bows and walks off the stage while crying into his arm.

I pat his back when he sits back down.

The next speech is Jinyoung.

He rubs his hands as he walks up the stage.

"Mark Tuan. A man I barely knew. But a man who's brought me so much pain. Mark was the reason I lost my beloved girlfriend. But no matter how hard I try to hate him I never can. Even though I've been gone for a while. The month I've been back has been splendid. I got to see a side of Mark I've never seen before. His smile could kill you. It was so bright. Just like his future. But he can't live his future anymore. I wish, I wish so badly that I could've spent more time with him. I wish I could've known more of him. He was such a wonderful man. May he rest in peace." Jinyoung looks at Mark in the coffin.

"Say hi to Mina for me Mark." He bows and walks off the stage.

Everyone claps.

Jinyoung hugs Jackson. Then he goes back to his seat.

Chanyeol says his speech.

It's not as touching because he's been away but it's still nice.

Others say their speeches.

Mark's family members who abandoned him.

Mark's dad's wife and their children.

Jackson's family.

Ping did her speech.

Now it's the final speech.

Jackson's.

Jackson walks to the stage. Once again his eyes are lifeless.

But, there is an itsy bit of life there.

He looks around the room. He bows.

He goes to the podium.

"Thank you all for coming." His voice is raspy and husky. It's deeper than usual.

He closes his eyes than opens them again.

"Mark Tuan. The greatest human to ever step on this Earth. His beauty blinds you. Even now in this coffin. He's the most beautiful human I've ever seen." He stares at Mark.

"Everyone who gave their speeches, thank you. They were truly beautiful. I don't even think mine can compare to the others." He pauses.

"People say that I saved Mark but Mark was the one that really saved me. He saved so many people. When I first met Mark I thought he was strange. He would look at me weird and he would never stop watching me. I thought that he was crazy. Later on I found out that he has obsessive love. I thought it was so stupid. I don't think it's stupid at all anymore. If it wasn't for his disorder we would've never been here today." Jackson takes a deep breath.

"The years I've spent with Mark have been the best years of my life. I've learned about Mark's past, his pain, his suffering, his never ending nightmare. I've felt his pain. I've taken away his pain. In my arms he told me, "Thank you for showing me there really is happiness in the world." He smiled as he said that. He smiled as he told me all of his favorite memories. He smiled as he told me these stories because he knew he was dying.  The last word I heard from Mark was "Goodbye." It's too soon to say goodbye." Jackson bites his lip as he tries to hold back his tears.

"There were so many more memories to make. I wanted him to live the life he never had. I worked slave hours just to have money for Mark to spend. I spent a year in the hospital just to see Mark smile. I took away my whole career and reputation to just be with Mark. It was damn well worth it. Would I change anything that happened during these years? Hell yes I would. Would I take all these memories back to make better ones? Hell no. Everything happens for a reason right? Mark was murdered but did he frown while he died? Did he tell me how scared he was? Did he tell me how I was too late? No he didn't. He said all the happiest moments he experienced in life. His heart puts Cupid's love spell to shame." The church fills with chuckles.

"Mark was the most kindest person. He always found a way to raise your spirit. He was my everything. I love him to death. I'll never stop loving him. Nobody can replace him. No one can have the heart, the strength, the compassion like Mark had. Nobody can compare to him. I don't want to say goodbye. I wish this was all a dream. I wish he would pop up from that coffin and say "Surprise bitches!" Everyone laughs.

Jongin laughs.

Youngjae laughs.

Jimin laughs.

Jinyoung laughs.

Ping laughs.

Even I laugh.

"Unfortunately that can't happen. He-he's gone. And I miss him. I woke up this morning alone in bed. No warmth. I can't smell his strawberry scent anymore. I can't hear his laugh. I can't see his beautiful smile. And I never got to see him walk down the aisle." Jackson lets out a pained moan.

Jackson walks down the stage to Mark.

He takes his hand in his.

"Mark I will always love you. I know you told me to not let this ruin my life but you're my everything. I lost you. I-I don't want to let you go. I love you so much. You must be a beautiful angel now. You did so well. Don't ever think you didn't. I love you my darling. And I never got the chance to tell you this."

Jackson leans to Mark's forehead and kisses it.

He puts his forehead against Mark's forehead.

"Goodbye."

I stand and clap my hands.

Everyone watches me for a moment but then they all stand and clap.

Everyone claps loudly just for Jackson.

His speech was beautiful.

Jackson cries into his hands.

Ping has to lead him away from Mark's coffin.

The minister comes on the stage and announces that the hearse is one it's way.

Jackson shouts in pain hearing those words.

If this is hard for him I don't he can take Mark being buried 6 feet under.

Shit. I don't think I can either.

Everybody goes into the lobby room to get some air. Jackson and Jimin stay in the room with Mark.

"Damn. This is too much." Jinyoung rubs his face.

"Of course it is." I respond.

"I've never seen Jackson like this. I didn't even know he could cry that much." Jinyoung's eyes shake.

"He needs some water. If he keeps crying like that without water he'll become dehydrated." Chanyeol muses.

We all smile at Chanyeol.

He's such a nerd.

The door to the church opens. Police officers line in.

Mark's mother walks in with cuffs on her wrists and hands. An orange jumpsuit fits her well.

Then Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jungkook walk in as well. Same attire. Different expressions.

Mark's mother has a smirk on her face.

Yoongi looks so sad it hurts to look at him.

Taehyung looks pained and confused.

Jungkook keeps his head hanging low.

The police officers drag them along and they walk up to me.

"Mr. Im. Can they see Mark?"

"Yeah sure. Well actually I don't know about her." I look at Dorine Tuan.

She's smiling.

"She's just covering up her pain with a smile." Yoongi speaks.

"Shut the hell up kid." She nudges Yoongi in his side.

I sigh.

"Come on." I lead them into the dim lit room.

Jimin rubs Jackson's back.

Jimin is the first to turn around.

He's shocked.

Yoongi asks the officer if he can get unlinked.

All four of them are chained together.

The officers unlinks him and takes off his ankle cuffs and his hand cuffs.

"I trust you." The officer says.

Yoongi nods.

He walks towards Jackson and Jimin.

Jimin doesn't take his eyes off of Yoongi.

Tears roll down Jimin's face.

He runs to Yoongi and they collide into a hug.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or him. I'm so sorry." Yoongi cries into Jimin's neck and runs his hand through his hair.

Jimin cries into his neck.

Jungkook and Taehyung hang their heads and hold each other's hands.

Dorine clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes.

"Gosh Yoongi. Why are so soft?" Dorine huffs.

I can't believe this woman gave birth to Mark. They are nothing alike.

"Shut up woman." Yoongi turns and glares at Dorine.

He turns his head back to Jimin.

Jimin turns his head to Jackson.  

Yoongi nods and looks at the police officer.

The police officer leads the 3 still chained down the aisle to Mark's coffin.

Yoongi follows.

All four of them stare at Mark in the coffin.

Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jungkook drop to their knees.

They put their hands together.

"We're so sorry Mark. We were stupid teenagers. Bullies are people who take their pain out on other people. I took my pain out on you. You were so close to Jimin I became jealous. Don't blame these guys. They just followed my orders." Yoongi talks with tears.

Jungkook and Taehyung cry silently and nod their heads.

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I'm so sorry for what I made them do to you. You don't have to forgive me. I just want you to know that we're truly sorry." The 3 of them bow their heads.

"You guys are pathetic." Dorine shakes her head. She stares at Mark.

"You finally died huh? About time you little punk." She covers her face.

She cries into her hands.

I rub her back.

She's a bitch. A terrible woman. But that's still her son.

Jackson looks at the 4 of them. He smiles weakly.

"Thank you." He whispers.

His voice is hoarse.

They all look at him.

Dorine cries more seeing his face.

Yoongi cries more seeing his face.

Taehyung cries more seeing his face.

Jungkook cries more seeing his face.

Jackson looks so broken. It's like he's a ghost.

I walk to him and rub his shoulders.

He moans lowly.

It's a pained moan.

The doors swing open.

Ping comes in with other men.

"It's time to go to the burial." Ping says lowly.

The men close Mark's coffin.

Jackson screams.

"No! No! Mark needs to breath! Open it! Open it dammit!" Jackson thrashes in our hold.

He screams. It rings throughout the church.

Erica gives me a sedative.

"Give it to him. He needs to calm down. He's going to hurt himself."

I stick the needle in Jackson's neck. He slowly falls to the ground.

"No. No. Mark." Jackson slowly falls down.

Chanyeol forces him to drink water.

Jackson keeps spitting the water out.

As doctors we check Jackson's vitals as the men board the coffin in the hearse.

His blood pressure is 180.

He's dehydrated.

He hasn't eaten all day.

We see bags under eyes indicating he hasn't slept.

He looks thinner.

Shit.

He's practically killing himself.

Jackson lays limply on the floor.

Jongin carries him to the car.

The drive to the burial wasn't peaceful.

Jackson's whimpers and tears never subside as he's sedated.

We arrive at the burial.

Jackson wakes up.

We all listen to the minister as he blesses the coffin and the ground.

They never open the coffin again.

It's time to bury Mark.

Jackson screams more and more.

The coffin lowers into the ground.

"No! No! Please no! Mark!" Jackson almost falls into the hole.

"Jackson! Please calm down! Mark's gone and he has to rest! Please baby stop. Mark wouldn't want you to act like this. Please Jackson. Calm down. Please Sweetie." Ping holds her son.

He stops thrashing.

He just screams and cries as he watches the coffin go further into the hole.

The coffin is set.

We all place roses and other varieties of flowers on the coffin.

Jackson kisses a rose and hugs it to his chest.

His rose is the last to touch the coffin.

Jackson pulls an envelope out of his suit.

His letter he wrote for Mark.

Jackson smiles and places the letter on top the flowers.

A bulldozer dumps dirt on the coffin.

Jackson shakes and wobbles.

Jongin and I run to him to catch him.

He watches the dirt get thrown on the coffin.

He looks up to the sky.

It's night now.

The dirt is placed.

More flowers get placed by his grave.

The service ends.

Everyone is in tears.

People leave.

Chanyeol says goodbye and hugs Jackson.

Jinyoung says goodbye and hugs Jackson.

"I'm here for you." Jinyoung tells Jackson.

Jackson nods blankly.

Jimin hugs Jackson.

"Stay strong Jackson." Jimin pats his hair.

Jackson faintly smiles.

Jimin says goodbye to me. And he runs to Yoongi.

"Thank you Yoongi. Thanks for coming. Thanks for your apology. I wish you and Jimin the best." Jackson smiles.

His voice is so cracky and shaky.

Jimin and Yoongi smile.

Yoongi hugs Jackson.

The 4 inmates and Jimin walk away.

Jongin and Youngjae hug Jackson.

"We'll always be here for you Jackson hyung." Youngjae smiles.

"Always. We love you man." Jongin rubs Jackson's back.

Jackson smiles.

"Thanks." Jackson whispers.

I ask Jongin to take Youngjae back to Platnium for me.

Jackson needs someone with him besides his mother.

I walk to Ping. She looks exhausted.

"I got him. Go home. Get some rest." I hug Ping.

"Bless you Jaebum. Take good care of him okay?"

"I will." I watch Ping walk to her car.

It's only Jackson and I.

Jackson looks up at the night sky.

"He's a star right?" Jackson's voice trembles.

I look up at the sky.

"Of course he is. He's lighting our nights."

"Damn right he is."

"He's resting now. He has no more worries. He's an angel now." I say to reassure Jackson.

"He is." Jackson raises his hand to the sky.

"I love you Mark." Tears roll down his cheeks.

He shakes.

I hug him tightly.

I'm tired of seeing him cry.

It pains me.

He cries in my arms.

"Why? Why? Why!" He grips my suit jacket tightly as he cries.

I squeeze him tightly.

I comfort him as much as I can.

The cool air of the night and the smell of dirt surrounds my senses.

All through the night the only thing that is heard is Jackson's screams.

And there's only one thing I can think of as I hold Jackson.

Rest in Peace Mark.

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever. The goal is to create something that will."