bastard

Mark POV

Our new house is beautiful.

It's even more beautiful knowing that I get to live here with Jackson.

I can't wait to make memories here.

I look out at the sunset. So beautiful.

We're far from home.

It took 5 hours to get here.

I'm glad.

It's so empty here and free.

I love it.

The wind blows on my face. It's crisp and cold.

Today is the day.

I've left everything behind.

I've told all my stories.

I don't want to keep this pent up inside of me forever.

I need to tell Jackson about the bastard.

He needs to know how much he hurt me.

I close my eyes. I hear the crickets chirping. I feel the wind attacking my face. I smell the fresh air.

"It's nice right?" I open my eyes.

Jackson stands by the door.

"Yes it is." I nod.

I pat the chair next to me.

"Come sit."

Jackson sits down. We stare into each other's eyes.

His brown hair sticks up in all directions because of the wind.

He has a goofy smile on his face.

I take his hand in mine.

"I love you." I say wholeheartedly.

"I love you too." He squeezes my hand.

We smile at each other and we both look at the sunset.

"Jackson. I have to tell you something."

He hums in response.

He's still staring at the sunset.

"I know you listened to me talk about my past. And I'm glad that you know about it but, there's one story that I've never told anyone. I'm scared to tell it. It hurt me the most. I want to tell you about it because you need to know. Know one knows. Not even mom. Know one knows how the scars got on my body. Know one knows why I became so insane and broken."

Jackson's attention is all on me. It looks like he wants to say something.

"Don't say anything. Just let me talk."

He nods.

I look down at my hands.

"When mom made me do those things I became mentally unstable. Depression and trauma isn't a good mix. Mom made me go to Platnium to get help. She didn't like how I screamed everytime she brought someone home with her."

"At Platnium they assigned me to a doctor. Dr. Kang Wook. The bastard. I hate him. It's all his fault. He lied to me." Jackson pulls me into a hug.

"It's okay Mark. Take your time. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No. I need to tell you. I've held it in for too long."

Jackson nods.

"Dr. Wook was really nice to me at first. He gave me medicine for my depression. He told me funny stories. He made my life better for the time being. But all of that was just a hoax." I take a deep breath.

I don't want to remember this.

I don't want to talk about it.

But I need to.

"One-one day when I came for my appointment Dr. Wook had a weird smile on his face. Mom had to go fill some paperwork out so I was left alone with him. I didn't mind it because he was nice. He was probably the only person besides Jimin that I trusted."

I look at Jackson. His eyebrows are furrowed.

He puts his hand on my knee and squeezes it. I put my hand over his. He nods for me to continue.

His gester made me feel better.

Less scared.

So I continue.

"Dr. Wook did the usual. My check up. He checked my blood pressure. My heartbeat. Doctor stuff. When he was finished he told me something that I never wanted to hear in my life." I pause.

"What'd he tell you Mark?" Jackson squeezes my hand again.

"He-he said, "You know you're a little slut, Mark". I didn't know why he said that. He said that mom told him about the things she used to make me do. He said "For a 9 year old that's pretty disgusting." He acted like I wanted to do those things! I didn't! I wanted to leave the room."

I can practically feel Jackson's anger boiling.

"He kept taunting me. I really wanted to leave and run away. When I attempted to escape he grabbed me by my hair and he dragged me into his office. He threw me on the floor. And he said." I pause once again.

Tears start to descend down my cheeks.

I can't do this. I can still feel my screams piercing through my throat. I can still see him.

"What'd he say?" Jackson's voice was surprisingly soft.

"He said, "If you can do it for them, you can do it for me." I didn't understand at first but then it clicked. I tried to run away but he grabbed me again. I wondered what took mom so long. Maybe she planned it? I don't think it took that long to sign papers."

"He made me do the same things that mom made me do for those other people. But. But." I choke up on my sob.

Jackson embraces me.

He caresses my hair.

Jackson stays silent and he holds me as I cry.

He doesn't tell me it's okay.

He doesn't ask me to continue.

He just embraces me.

Comforts me.

He understands me.

This is why I can tell him.

"But he d-did more than the others did. He um. He." My body quivers.

I look at the sunset.

"He raped you." Jackson's cold voice breaks through the silence.

We make eye contact.

I silently nod.

Jackson takes a deep breath and stares off into space.

He looks pained. He slowly brings his eyes back to my face.

"Once?" He asks.

"No."

"Twice?"

"No." I shiver and hug my body.

The body I'm disgusted with. The body that so many people found pleasure with. The body that holds the memories of my past.

"How many times?"

"Y-you don't want to know."

"Yes I do. Please tell me. How many times?"

"12." My tears fall uncontrollably now.

Jackson gets out of his seat. He walks to the rail on the patio.

He grips the railing until his knuckles turn white.

"You said you have scars?"

"Yes."

"From what?" Jackson turns his head and his expression scares me.

I've never seen him so angry.

"He w-was aggressive and he used to e-experiment on me."

"Experiment?"

"He-he liked to see how much pain I could endure. And he gave me weird substances to drink that made my body feel funny. And he. He. He wanted to s-s-see if I c-could g-get p-pregnant." Another sob erupts through my throat.

Jackson turns around so quick.

"What!" Jackson's breathing is erratic.

"Isn't he a doctor! He damn well knows that a fucking boy can't get pregnant!"

"I didn't know that when I was younger. I thought I was because my tummy would hurt."

"Jesus." Jackson sighs of frustration.

"It's disgusting right? I know it-"

"No Mark! Don't say that shit!" Jackson slams his hand against the table.

"I'm not disgusted with you. I'm never disgusted with you. There are terrible people in this world. And you had to meet the most terrible of them all. They did horrendous things to you."

"But I'm so helpless that I couldn't even protect myself!"

"You're not helpless! People manipulate you because you're so open and they take advantage of your openness."

"See? I'm open and pathetic! I'm a worthless joke for a human! I let people do these things to me! Abuse me, hit me, rape me! I'm pathetic." I stand up and begin to walk away but Jackson grabs me.

"No Mark! You're not fucking pathetic!"

"Yes I am!"

"No! You're a fighter dammit! You're not pathetic. You went through all that shit and guess what? You're still standing. When they hurt you the most you were the most vulnerable. You're not pathetic Mark. You didn't let them do those things. They did it to you. They wanted to see you suffer. I don't want you to suffer." Something wet hits my cheek.

Jackson.

He's crying.

We embrace each other.

"Mark. You're my everything. I'm glad you told me about that bastard. But to hear you say the things that he did to you. It hurts. I don't want you to be in pain. I don't want you to suffer anymore. I just want you to smile and laugh. I want you to not be scared. I want you to glow like a star. Whenever someone sees you they'll become jealous because they want to smile like you." I cry into Jackson's shirt.

"Please Mark. I don't want to see these pained tears." He lifts my chin.

"I only want to see you cry tears of joy."

Jackson. He's honestly wonderful.

"Thank you Jackson." I smile and wipe my tears.

"Promise me this Mark. Promise me that you won't cry unless you're happy." He sticks his pinky finger out.

"Promise me you won't stop loving me." I stick my pinky finger out.

"I promise." We both say in unison.

We hug.

"I will never stop loving you. Promise or not."

His words warm me from my head to my toes.

I'm so glad to have Jackson.

I thank the doctors from Platnium that wanted me to get better. My obsession for Jackson turned into real love.

"Mark? You're crying again." Jackson pouts.

"Don't worry. These are tears of joy. I'm so happy. You care for me so much. I care for you so much. I never knew that I would have someone to love me like you do. Thank you so much Jackson."

"You deserve a thanks too. Thank you Mark. Thank you for showing me that love is real. And thank you for letting me into your life. Thank you for letting me see your journey. Thank you for letting me save you. Thank you." He hugs me tighter.

We stay in each other's warmth until we feel the cool breeze of the night.

"I think we should go to bed." Jackson suggests.

I've changed my whole life.

I've told my stories.

I'm still healing from my past.

"Jackson?"

"Yes my love?" I nearly scream.

"Can you help me get rid of the memories the bastard created?"

"Huh?"

"I want to get rid of all my past. You put mom, Yoongi, Jungkook, and Taehyung in jail. You'll probably try to put the bastard in jail too."

"I sure will." Jackson says matter of factly.

I chuckle.

"Even if you do put him in jail, I still remember that the first person who-who touched me in that kind of way was-" Jackson places his finger on my lips.

"I understand Mark. I don't want him to be the first person you think of either."

"Come." He takes my hand and leads me back into the house. He stops once we reach the stairs.

"What are you going to do Jackson?" I fiddle with my fingers.

"I'm going to help you forget the memories that the bastard created.  And the memories of what your mom made you do. And the memories of what the 3 dumbasses did to you."

"How do I forget?"

"When you think of your mom think of how I brought your childhood back. When you think of Yoongi and his 2 bitches, think of me, Jaebum, and Jimin. The people who have helped you the most in life." Tears brim my eyes.

"And when you think of that bastard, I want you to remember this night. This night that you told me all about him. This night that you saw how deeply I love you. This night that I touch you for the first time. You'll forget all the other memories and you'll have brand new memories ready to warm your heart."

"Jackson!" I jump into his arms and kiss him.

His words are enough to warm my heart.

He doesn't know how beautiful his speech was. It's the best thing I've heard in my life.

"You're so kind Jackson. Sometimes I feel like you're too good to be true."

His smile brightens his face.

My feet suddenly lift of the ground.

I wrap my arms around Jackson's neck and I wrap my legs around his waist.

Our faces are dangerously close.

My face burns because of the close proximity.

"Why-why are you so close?" I avert my eyes.

"In a few minutes we're going to be even closer." He squeezes my thighs.

My face burns even more.

I bury my face in his neck.

He starts to walk up the stairs and he stops outside of our bedroom.

"You ready Mark?" Jackson's voice is soft as dust.

Am I ready?

I think I am.

Me and Jackson will become one tonight.

I'll no longer remember the touch of the bastard. His touch will be replaced by Jackson's.

"I'm ready."

(:What happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors ;)We finally know about the bastard:( He's a bitch. I don't like him. Will Jackson get him arrested? We're getting closer and closer to the end!Thanks for reading!Baaaaaaayyyyyyyiiiiiieeeeee