gone

Mark POV

Snow.

It's so beautiful.

I watch the snowflakes fall at my feet.

Jackson probably would've loved this snow.

Another Christmas without him.

It's been 2 years since his death.

I'm 19 now.

I graduated from hell.

I'm a freshman in a new hell.

Everything's just peachy.

I shiver. It's cold.

I should go home.

Since his death, Mrs. Wang banned me from their house.

She told me it was my fault that she lost her only son.

She's right. I don't blame her for banning me.

Now I stay with my mom.

The evil wench.

I hate home. I hate her. I miss dad.

I miss Jackson.

Why'd he have to go?

All of my doctors tell me that his death is what saved me.

I take my medicine now.

I talk to the doctors.

I'm not that violent anymore.

I guess they are right.

His death has saved me.

One thing they haven't lied about.

The wind blows.

I remember that night. The wind blew and Jackson pulled me towards him.

He was warm.

So were his lips.

I regret kissing him.

He probably was so confused and disgusted.

He probably wasn't even gay.

I'm sorry Jackson.

I was so stupid that night.

You died because of my stupid decision to kill myself.

You protected me. You didn't want me to get hurt.

But I did get hurt.

Because you're gone.

I feel warm tears run down my cheek.

"I'm so stupid." I look up to the sky.

Even though it's snowing the stars gleam through the night.

I bet one of those stars is Jackson.

My pocket vibrates.

My phone.

It's mom.

What time is it?

Shit. 

It's 10:12.

She's gonna be mad.

I don't care.

I wonder.

If Jackson were still here would I have been the same as before?

I don't know.

I do know that he would've been glad about how well I've been doing.

I haven't cried since his funeral. I wasn't even invited to his funeral. I watched from afar.

Everyone blames me for his death.

I don't deny it.

I accept it.

I killed him.

Damn.

I hate this neighborhood.

All these people give me weird looks.

"Hey cutie. You Dorine's kid right?" I ignore him.

He smells like alcohol and cigarettes.

"Ah. He is. She always tells me about how rude he is." It's another man.

There's probably 6 men surrounding me.

I don't like this.

I try to get away from the men but someone steps in my way.

"Where you going cutie?" The man that reeks of alcohol and cigarettes reaches for me.

His mistake.

"Ah! Damn you kid!"

I kicked him in the balls.

Now I'm running from those creepy fuckers.

Why are they out at this time on Christmas Eve?

I run up the stairs to her house.

I don't consider her house as mine.

It stinks in here.

She keeps making messes.

I walk into the kitchen and she's there.

"Where the fuck have you been?" She glares at me.

"I got your shit right?" I throw the bag on the table.

"Who the fuck do you think you're cursing at? I am your mother. You don't fucking talk back to me."

"I just did." I turn to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

"To my room."

"What room?"

God I can't stand her.

"My room."

"You don't have a room anymore."

"What?" I turn around.

"Did you not understand. You. Don't. Have. A. Room. Any-fucking-more."

"Why not." Now I'm angry

"Because you can't do shit. I tell you to pick up so fucking shit for me since 8:00 and it's fucking 10:52! It doesn't take that fucking long to pick up some damn tampons!"

"I thought you would bleed to death."

She lungs for me. She smashes her beer bottle on my head.

I scream and push her off of me.

"You ungrateful bitch. I should've kept your ass in Platnium. You don't benefit me at all! You just take all my money away!"

"You could've had money if you weren't such a slut and made dad leave us!"

"Shut the fuck up! Your piece of shit father has nothing to fucking do with this! It's your crazy psycho ass that has me in debt!"

"I'm not fucking crazy!"

"Yes the fuck you are! You killed that boy! You made him jump off the cliff! He tried to save your bitch ass but guess what? He didn't save you. You're still fucking alive."

I punch her.

She punches me.

We're fighting.

She just admitted that she wants me dead.

She can die.

I yank her hair and throw her across the kitchen. Her back slams against the stove.

"You can die bitch!" I growl through my teeth.

She screams and stands up.

She runs towards me.

She has my neck.

She's choking me.

"G-get off of me." I wheeze out.

"You can die. Just like your father. And just like that boy." Her grip around my neck tightens.

I can't breath.

I kick her in her vagina.

She screams.

I push her off me.

She staggers and looks at the counter.

She looks at me.

She continues to stare.

As she stares she picks up something

A knife.

I run.

"No your not getting away! Get back here Mark!" I'm at the door.

I open the door.

She slams it back closed.

She pushes me on the door.

She aims the knife.

"No!"

I catch the knife in my hand.

My hand is bleeding.

I use my other hand to push her off of me.

"No! Stop!" She pushes the knife deeper into my hands and closer to my chest.

"Die bitch." Her face is close.

I bite her.

I bit her nose.

She yelps in pain and staggers back.

That's my cue.

I run.

Down the stairs.

On the street.

"Mark! You can run bitch! But you're gonna come back. And when you do you'll have this fucking knife in you're throat. And farewell to Yi Eun Tuan!"

Fuck her.

I'm not going back.

"Go to hell bitch!" I yell.

I'm never going back.

I run and run.

Before I know it I'm here.

Jackson's grave.

It still has flowers on it.

I see the flowers I brought thrown to the side.

No one likes me.

I killed the greatest man alive.

I don't like myself either.

There's some nights I just sit with a knife debating if I should do it.

But I know that Jackson wouldn't want me to do it.

He died trying to save me. No not trying.

He did save me.

I have to stay alive or his death would be in vain.

I dust the snow off of his grave.

I smile.

"Thank you Jacks. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you. For everything." Something runs down my cheek.

A tear

No. I told myself I wasn't going to cry anymore.

I've cried enough.

But no matter what the tears continue to form in my eyes.

"No. Stop. I'm not going to cry." I wipe my eyes.

I won't let my tears fall.

The snow gets heavier.

It's colder now.

I hiss. My hand stopped bleeding but it's still a fresh wound.

This cold doesn't feel the best.

I only have on a gray hoodie and some jeans.

I'm not going back home.

I have no where to go.

Guess I'll just stay here.

With Jackson.

"I guess it's just me and you tonight Jackson."

I check my phone for the time.

12:48am

I shiver.

My teeth chatter.

It's late and cold.

I hug my body.

I'm cold and alone.

Like always.

I hear a crunch in the snow.

I twirl around.

"Is someone there?" I yell into the dark snowy night.

Nothing.

I turn back to Jackson's grave.

The wind whistles.

It's really cold.

The wind is violent.

I can't feel my toes.

Or my ears.

Or my hands.

I'm so cold.

"Merry Christmas Jackson."

If I do freeze to death, I at least want Jackson to know that I wish him the happiest Christmas.

I smile.

Another crunch in the snow.

It's right behind me.

My body is so cold I can't even turn around.

I shiver from the cold and I shiver in fear.

I can't fight right now.

I can't stop this person.

Whatever happens, happens.

I can't stop it.

But then I fell something warm.

A jacket.

A big cozy jacket.

The snow crunches again from behind me.

Warm breath on my neck.

I close my eyes.

I'm scared.

But then I hear it.

Right by my ear.

My fear goes away.

Just hearing it warms my whole body.

"Merry Christmas Mark."

It's him.

I turn around and there he is.

"Jackson!"

He smiles a toothy smile and he opens his arms.

I hug him so tight he grunts.

I don't know if I'm delirious because of the cold but this seems very real.

No.

It is real.

It's his strong arms.

And his cologne.

And his leather jacket.

I fight my tears.

"I-I-I-"

"You thought I was dead? Right?"

I look up.

His beautiful face.

No bruises nor blood.

No purple lips.

"Aren't you?"

"No Mark. Jackson Wang ain't going nowhere."

He's here. And he's back.

"I promised you didn't I? I'm not going to leave you."

"But but you-" I look at the grave.

"It's fake. I'll explain it to you later. For now let's get you some where warm." Jackson stands up.

I'm still in shock.

He's not dead. But I saw him.

"But-"

"I told you I'll explain it later. Your health is more important right now. "

I smile.

I'm so happy.

Jackson's not dead.

I'm so glad.

He picks me up.

"Ah Mark. You're too light. Have you been eating enough."

"Nope. She doesn't give me food sometimes."

"Oh. Yeah I know."

"How do you know?" How does he know?

I only told the doctors at Platinum about her.

"Again. I'll explain it later."

The tears form in my eyes again.

"You're really here. I thought I'd never-"

"It's okay. I'm here. It's okay to cry Mark. You can cry when your happy." Jackson holds me tighter.

I can cry when I'm happy.

My tears fall uncontrollably.

I'm happy. I'm really really happy.

I feel something warm and cushioned on my back.

It's a car.

"Here you use this jacket too." Jackson takes off his leather Jacket and hands it to me.

"You need it too." I try to give it back to him but he refuses.

He wraps me up in his jackets.

"There you go. You're freezing. You need to be warm." He chuckles. "You look like a burrito."

I stare at him.

It's still hard to believe.

He's not dead.

He's here.

Jackson smiles and pats my hair.

He climbs out the backseat of the car and shuts the door.

Then he runs away.

It's cold outside. Where is he going? Why is he running away.

Is he leaving me?

Is he not coming back?

He doesn't have on a jacket.

He's going to be cold.

The car door suddenly bursts open.

I jump.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Here. It's hot chocolate." Jackson has a smirk on his face.

"Thank you." I take a sip of the hot chocolate.

Yummy.

It's warm and delicious.

Jackson gets in the car and starts the engine.

Heat fills the car.

The heat.

The jackets.

The hot chocolate.

Jackson.

It feels like a big blanket has warmed my heart.

My heart has been cold for 2 years.

But now Jackson's here to warm my heart.

"I missed you." I curl into a ball. My eyes begin to droop.

Just before I doze off I hear the greatest words:

"I miss you too Mark."

Another update! Yay! Jackson is alive!But how does he know about Mark's mom? And where has he been these past 2 years?Thanks for reading!Baaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiieeee