26: Sirius Black - Fangirls

Note: (y/n) doesn't know Sirius is an animagus.

House: Ravenclaw

Requested by: bookfangirl2008

 His bad-boy personality was one of the many reasons I was drawn to Sirius Black. He was definitely attractive, knew how to have a good laugh and was troublesome which were things I were attracted to. I wasn't the sappy romantic kind of person, but I did admit that his flirting made my heart beat a couple times faster.

It wasn't long before I had actually fallen for him but I refused to admit it to anyone, not even my closest friend who had guessed my feelings. I decided to get away from all her teasing by returning a book to the library, the walk allowing me to clear my thoughts as well. To my surprise however, when I entered the library Sirius came rushing in straight after me. "Thanks (y/n)," he panted, hunching over to catch his breath.

"What the hell are you doing in the library?" I scoffed and he laughed.

"Hiding from Filch," he said, the doors to the library opening again. "Ah! Come with me," Sirius grabbed my wrist and pulled me along with him, the pair of us hiding behind a bookshelf just in time as we saw between the gaps on the shelf that Filch had entered.

"Why're you dragging me into this?" I hissed, trying not to get too flustered at our close proximity.

"Just fancied some company, that's all," he whispered with a smirk. We were hiding in quite a cramped area and I had to look away from him, hoping I wouldn't embarrass myself. "Since I got you here there's something I wanna tell you."

"Filch is gonna catch you if you keep on whispering," I hissed.

"Then let me show you instead," he said smoothly, leaning in and pressing his lips against mine. My heart missed several beats as he kissed me, and I instinctively kissed back. His arms wrapped around my body as I clutched onto his shirt, our lips barely parting from each others. His kiss felt so heavenly, so perfect and it took my breath away - not that I'd admit it.

He pressed me against the bookshelf, and lifted my leg up by my thigh, squeezing it tightly. I let out a gasp into his mouth which caused him to smirk against my lips, and I couldn't stop myself from running my hands through his luscious hair. Annoyingly for us, seconds later we were caught. "Black! Found ya! Detention for both of ya!" Filch's voice caused us to break apart, me looking away from the horrid man sharpish whilst Sirius challenged him.

"You can't give out detentions, caretaker," he said with a scoff.

"But I can take ya to Professor McGonagall! Both of ya, hurry up!" He shouted, pointing in the way of the door. Sirius wiped my chapstick from his lips and grinned, taking my hand and pulling me along with him. We followed Filch through the castle, him still holding my hand. He caught my attention by squeezing it, making me look up at him.

"You alright?" He asked and I nodded, but I wasn't sure I was, not after what had just happened between he and I.

Filch knocked on McGonagall's office door and she called for us to come in. "Professor McGonagall ma'am," Filch said as he walked in.

"What is it now?" She asked with a heavy sigh.

"I caught Black after he and Potter played a prank, then found him and (l/n) doing inappropriate things in the library!" He said, trying to sound authoritative, and McGonagall sighed.

"Is this true?" She looked at Sirius.

"Well, the truth has many faces," Sirius tapped his chin and she rolled her eyes.

"Miss (l/n)?" Her dagger-like eyes landed on means I felt like, as I was a prefect, it was my duty to tell the truth.

"Yes, it's true," I said.

"Mr Black, I expected this kind of behaviour from you but Miss (l/n), you're a school prefect. If you step out of line again I will speak to Professor Flitwick in regards of revoking that status," she said firmly and my heart sank.

"Yes professor," I mumbled, looking down at the ground.

"You will both be cleaning cauldrons this evening, in the potions classroom. Now I suggest you go back to your dormitories," she said and I nodded, Sirius and I heading out of the room. I was just to walk in the direction of the Ravenclaw tower when he took ahold of my wrist.

"Wait, (y/n), sorry I had no idea she could do that... take away your prefect badge I mean," he said but I just shrugged.

"I'll see you later," I said simply, pulling my hand away from his and heading to the dorms to think about my feelings for Sirius Black, especially after what had just happened.

- Timeskip -

It was just Sirius and I in the potions classroom, Slughorn trusting me to stay for the whole two hours and from stopping Sirius if he tried to leave before our sentence had been served. We sat in silence at first, the only sound that could be heard was the bristles of the brushes against the cauldrons. "(y/n)?" Sirius broke the silence.

"Hm?" I mumbled, not taking my eyes off of my cauldron.

"Sorry for getting you in trouble," he laughed.

"It's okay."

"It doesn't sound like you mean that," he said and I huffed, standing up.

"You're right, I don't mean it. I want an explanation as to why you did what you did earlier, because being a prefect is important to me and you kissing me so randomly almost had that taken away from me. So tell me why, why did you even kiss me in the first place? Had it just been a long time since you had some action?" I challenged him, folding my arms.

"No of course not!" He stood up too. "I was gonna tell you earlier, but I like your as more than a friend," he said confidently.

"What?"

"I like you, and I'd love for you to be my girlfriend," he said, stepping closer to me. My heart was beating erratically but I didn't let it show on my face.

"Wow, Sirius Black wanting a girlfriend? I thought you just played around and be damned with the consequences," I put my hand on my hip.

"I was, until I fell for you," he said, winking and I rolled my eyes. "So, what do you say? Are you gonna give me a chance?" He asked, a hopeful look upon his face.

"Sure Sirius, I'd like that," I said honestly, sending him a smile. He immediately latched his lips onto mine, shocking me a little but I melted into it, kissing him back before pulling away sharply. "But don't you dare get me into trouble like that again," I pointed my finger at him and he raised his hands in defence.

"I won't I swear it," he pulled me in for another kiss but I pushed him away.

"After we finish detention," I said, despite really wanting to kiss him. He chuckled and together we got back to work, however I really enjoyed it as it gave us a chance to be alone, just the two of us.

- Timeskip -

Four months had passed and I had learnt from the Marauders that I was Sirius' first solid girlfriend. According to them he had had feelings for me for months, unlike any other feelings he'd had for other girls. This satisfied me, knowing that the schools troublesome bad-boy truly had feelings for me, and wanted me to be his one and only - or so I thought.

The beginning of our relationship was amazing; the two of us went on dates to Hogsmeade, we hung out together as much as we could before curfew at 22:00, and despite me telling him not to he'd buy me treats he knew I liked. That was until I witnessed him flirting with a girl from the year below, angering me a little. I decided not to judge a book by its cover, and thought that perhaps he was helping her and just being kind to her, but as time went on he seemed to return to his old flirtatious habits.

Multiple times I had seen him with other girls, laughing and walking them round the castle for no apparent reason. I even caught him winking at a girl who blushed profusely, apparently believing she had a chance with him. The most irritating thing was that he'd act completely normal around me, like he hadn't just spent all morning flirting with other girls.

There was one particular girl, Mei Watson, who got under my skin. She was the other beater on the Gryffindor quidditch team and the pair of them would often practice together, batting the bludger back and forth between the pair of them. There was nothing wrong with that, they were on the same team after all and needed to practice but what was frustrating was that he often had his arm around her shoulders, and she so obviously idolised him. She'd stare at him all the time with a bright blush on her cheeks and either Sirius was ignorant to the fact or he revelled in it, it satisfying him that he knew girls still had crushes on him. I had a feeling it was the latter.

Sirius and I were sat on a rock overlooking the grounds of Hogwarts. Despite being with Sirius I felt so alone, probably due to his recent behaviour. It was bringing me down more than I showed, hence why Sirius never caught on. I hoped he'd do the right thing himself and realise how much of a jerk he was being, but he still embraced all the girls attention, welcoming it with open arms. "I'll never get tired of this view," he said, wrapping his arm around me but I shrugged him off, irritated.

"Mm," was all I said, not looking up and keeping my attention on my book. He let out a deep sigh.

"Okay, what's up? You've been acting weird for a while now," he said.

"Oh, you've noticed then?" I said in a sarcastic shocked voice, although inside I was actually surprised.

"Of course I noticed, you've been grumpy for ages," he scoffed, the words hitting my chest brutally.

"I'm surprised you noticed given the fact other girls have seemed to hold your attention a lot recently," I said loudly, standing up.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He stood up as well.

"What do you mean 'what the hell are you talking about'?! You've been busy flirting with other girls to notice me!" I clenched my fists.

"You're overreacting, I've not been flirting with anyone," he scoffed sparking anger and hurt inside of me.

"Sirius!" The familiar voice of Mei Watson called out as she approached the pair of us. "You promised to practice with me, remember?"

"Yeah I remember," Sirius continued to stare at me angrily. "I'm gonna leave, give you some time to clear the extra air in your head," he said bitterly, my heart breaking in two as he followed a starstruck Mei towards the quidditch pitch. I immediately left the scene, trying my hardest not to cry as the words he had said played on repeat in my mind. I headed straight for Ravenclaw tower, up to my dorm room where I found myself trying to alleviate the anger and upset I felt inside. I knew Sirius was the troublesome bad-boy, that was one of the reasons I fell for him, but I imagined that his flirty attitude would be targeted directly towards me and no one else as soon as we became a couple. Apparently I was wrong.

I spent all night thinking what to do. It was painful to even think about it but I wondered if breaking up was the best option. I couldn't stay in a relationship where he'd constantly flirt with other people as though it was okay, it hurt too much as it seemed he was interested in others and not just me. I came to the conclusion that if he was going to be this way and act all ignorant, pretending he didn't know he was getting all this attention from other girls and pretending that he didn't enjoy it then the best thing to do was to break it off, despite the thought of not being with him making me sad.

- Timeskip -

We spent a few days not talking to each other and avoiding each other after the argument, which gave me time to think. When I saw him sitting rather close to a Gryffindor girl at their table during breakfast, the two of them talking and laughing as she playfully shoved him. This sparked enough anger in me to storm out of the Great Hall and plan what I was going to say to him that evening when I ended it.

Oddly enough Sirius started talking to me again that day. When we were lining up for class he approached me with a smile on his lips, before having the audacity to call me 'baby'.

"Hey baby," he said, leaning in for a kiss. I couldn't back away so I pecked him before turning my head away.

"Hello," I said simply, with no pleasantness in my tone.

"You had breakfast? I thought I saw you leave the Great Hall," he said so nonchalantly.

"How observant you are," I said. Before he could say anything else McGonagall opened the classroom door and ushered everyone inside. Thankfully this was a class where I didn't sit next to Sirius, so I simply got on with my work which was also a distraction as to what I had to do later. It was eating me up inside, my heart already feeling a bit broken but it hadn't been whole since Sirius had started flirting with girls again.

The day went annoyingly quickly, and Sirius had noticed something was upsetting me. He had asked me repeatedly what was wrong, so I eventually cracked and told him to meet me at the top of the Astronomy Tower at 19:00. "Okay babe, I'll be there for you no matter what," he said lovingly as soon as I told him to meet me there, him brushing a loose thread of hair behind my ear before leaning in and kissing me, it probably being our last kiss. The soft side I had for him found me latching on, never wanting to forget the passion. "I'll see you later then," he winked and walked away with his three friends.

All throughout dinner I kept my head down, thinking of what words to say but now the time had come and I was pacing back and forth at the top of the Astronomy Tower. "(y/n)? Hey, what's up babe?" He asked, coming up the stairs and walking towards me. I whirled round to face him as he quickly approached with open arms but I pushed him away.

"D-don't," I swore internally for stuttering. I was determined to be strong, and to not break down despite my heart hurting. "Don't touch me, don't hug me, don't kiss me," I sad quickly.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"You! That's what's wrong, you have no idea the pain I've been going through and it's all because of you!" I said and he actually took a step back in shock. "All you care about is getting a girls attention! All you care about is how many eyes are on you, how many girls swoon for you, how many girls you can wrap around your finger. It's humiliating, Sirius, being called your 'girlfriend' but you seemingly loving the attention of others over me!"

"(y-y/n), that's not true! I love you!" He shouted, trying to reach out for my hands but I pulled them away.

"Stop lying!"

"I'm not lying! I love you and only you (y/n)! I don't care about anyone else, at least not like that, I only love you!"

"Yeah? Well tell that to your other beater. Tell that to the countless girls you've been flirting with, the girls who follow you around like lost puppies because you lead each of them on despite having a girlfriend. You know I thought you actually cared for me, actually loved me... but you were just looking for someone to pass the time-,"

"That's not true!" Sirius exclaimed coming right up to me and putting his hands on my hips. "I love you (y/n), with all my damn heart and I'm so sorry I've made you feel this way, please I'll do anything I can to make it up to you, please," he begged, but I shook my head, trying desperately to fight the tears that were welling up in my eyes.

"No, I can't do this anymore Sirius," I whispered, trying to stop my quivering lip.

"No, no (y/n) please don't do this," he whispered, cupping my cheeks and drying my eyes as the tears fell. There were tears lingering in his eyes too as he stared at me lovingly.

"I'm sorry Sirius, but I think it's clear you'll still be happy with the attention of other girls whether I'm there or not. I can't go on feeling this humiliated, so I'm leaving you," I said and Sirius shock his head.

"No, (y/n) please I'm begging you-,"

"I'm sorry Sirius," I whispered, pulling away from him and heading down the stairs, going straight to the Ravenclaw common room.

- Timeskip -

About a week had passed, and it had been the most painful of my life. I had barely seen him around, and according to his friends he was often hauled up in their dorm room with a bottle of whiskey. They told me repeatedly about how much Sirius loves me, and how depressed he was now that I had broken up with him. Apparently he'd been drinking himself into a drunken stupor, constantly confessing his love to me. They told me I was his first proper girlfriend, so a part of his troublesome flirtatious behaviour still seemed to linger within him but that wasn't much of an excuse as to why he'd been acting the way he had.

The truth was though, that I was feeling just as bad. My heart was broken, and hearing the way Sirius currently was made me upset. I even witnessed Sirius shouting at a few girls who attempted to come over and talk to him at breakfast before storming out of the Great Hall, leaving the girls looking terrified. Later that same day I was heading outside to get some fresh air and just as I was about to turn the corner I heard familiar voices. "You have to kick her off of the team Prongs!" Sirius' voice shouted, it sounding shaky.

"Look Pads, I know what you're feeling but she's a good beater and we need her on our team-,"

"She's the reason (y/n) broke up with me! I know I'm the one to blame but- but just seeing her makes me so angry!" Sirius bellowed. "If I had just been a better boyfriend..." Sirius sobbed and I peeked round the corner to see him slumped against James, bawling. Immediately I turned back and walked the way I came, subtly wiping my eyes as tears formed within them. I definitely didn't expect for him to be this worked up - I assumed he was going to go off with one of the many girls who seemed obsessed with him.

That evening I found myself wandering the grounds, dabbing my eyes with the tissue I held in my hands. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him, and seeing the state he was in made me realise that he did love me - but if he loved me, why would he risk throwing it all away by flirting with other random girls?

The wind was cold against my cheeks but still I sat down on a rock and simply thought about my feelings and whether we could've sorted it out instead of me deciding to break it off with him. Suddenly the sound of light footsteps caught my attention and I looked up to see a black dog staring at me. I smiled a little as he looked adorable.

He ran up to me quicker than lightening and snuggled his head against my body, barking and seemingly desperate for attention. "You're a friendly dog aren't you?" I chuckled, ruffling his head. "Aw, you're so gorgeous," I hugged him and he snuggled against my body tightly. I was surprised at how affectionate a random dog could be, and I couldn't see anyone else around who could pass for being his owner. "Are you out here on your own?" I asked him rhetorically but to my surprise he nodded. "Can you understand me?" I asked and he nodded again. "Then maybe you can help me..."

I went off and spoke about my situation with Sirius. I told the dog about how much I was in love with the troublesome boy but how much pain I was in seeing him act like that with other girls. I told him of how humiliated and upset I felt all the time, seeing Sirius winking and wrapping his arm around another girls shoulders. Somehow the dog looked sad, and he whimpered from time to time as though in pain. I ended up crying, curling into a ball and apologising to the dog, explaining that I wasn't usually this sensitive but when it came to the man I loved, I couldn't help but let my emotions out.

"(y/n)," Sirius' voice suddenly said and my head shot up, seeing him standing where the dog was merely seconds ago.

"S-Sirius- what- huh?" I was confused, looking around frantically and wondering where the dog could've gone. I stepped away from my ex but he was quicker and wrapped his arms around me, preventing me from going anywhere.

"(y/n), I love you with all my heart and I swear I never meant to put you through any of that pain, I'm sorry I was so ignorant, I was pathetic and horrible to the only girl I've ever truly cared about and I- I can't even begin to say how sorry I am and you deserve so much better than me but I still love you (y/n) and I swear I always will, you're the only girl for me," he cried into my shoulder. I was still confused, trying to take in the situation. "I'm so ashamed of myself, for doing all those things and I'm sorry I humiliated you."

"S-Sirius... were you... were you the dog?!" I exclaimed, pushing him back. He looked at the ground and nodded. "How- why-,"

"I'm an unregistered animagus," he said quietly and my mouth dropped open.

"Since when?!"

"Since fourth year... sorry I didn't tell you sooner," he mumbled, but that was least of my current worries.

"And you just think it's okay to let me pour my heart out to you not knowing it was you?!" I clenched my fists.

"I know, but (y/n) please listen to me. Don't you know how much I love you? I've not been able to think straight, I've not been able to do anything right since you broke it off and I- I don't deserve a second chance because you're right, I was behaving terribly but you did admit that you still love me just like I love you," he said, wrapping his arms around me again only this time I didn't push him away. I hid my head in his chest and grasped his shirt, trying my hardest not to cry.

The feeling of being back in his arms again was so warming, and despite it only having been a week I realised just how much I missed him. I needed him. "I love you too," I mumbled into his chest and I felt his hold on me tighten. "You hurt me though..."

"I'll do anything I can to make it up to you, I swear it," he said. "I want to be with you..."

"Okay," I whispered under my breath.

"Really?" He asked eagerly, taking ahold of my shoulders and pushing me away, looking into my eyes with desperation.

"Yes," I said simply with a small smile.

"Yes!" He cried cheerfully, pulling me in for another tight hug making me chuckle. "I swear I'll never talk to another girl-,"

"Sirius if we're going to be together then you need to know that I don't give a damn if you're friends with girls, if you talk to girls, I'm not some obsessive girlfriend who has to keep track of her boyfriend twenty-four seven. It's when you flirt with other girls, wrapping your arms around them, winking at them, purposefully thinking they have a chance with you that gets me upset," I said and he nodded.

"I'll be a better boyfriend, I'll do whatever it takes to eventually be someone that you deserve," he said and I couldn't help but smile.

"Okay Black, you're on," I teased, leaning up and kissing him. It felt like heaven, being able to kiss him again, and warmth filled me completely as we held each other tightly, lovingly, it being the restart of a glorious everlasting love.