18: Remus Lupin - A Christmas Moon

Note: This is a Christmas special, as made obvious by the title.

House: Ravenclaw

 During the staff meeting that occurred at the end of August, before the academic year began, was when we were told of various changes the school was going through and this year there were many what with the Azkaban escapee, Sirius Black. I was shocked when Dumbledore informed us that Dementors were to be guarding the school, them being horrifying creatures that frightened me quite a lot.

Not only was there a change in Hogwarts security, but there was a few changes in staff. I congratulated Hagrid who had finally become the professor of Care of Magical Creatures, a job I knew he was keen to have. Not only that but Dumbledore told us of another new member of staff who would be arriving at the school on September first, and would be replacing the indisposed Lockhart as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. His name was Remus Lupin, and at the mention of this man, Snape seemed to kick off, shouting and wailing like a child.

"Severus, I think it's time you put your petty rivalry behind you, don't you think?" McGonagall raised an eyebrow at him and he sat down with a dramatic huff, making me snicker at his childish behaviour.

"There is something very important that needs to be known amongst the staff however, about Professor Lupin, and I have been given permission by him to tell you all but this is a subject that must not be discussed with any student under risk of being banished from the school," Dumbledore said and my eyes raised at the severity of what he was about to say. "Professor Lupin is a werewolf."

There was silence at the table before suddenly Snape stood up again and started throwing another hissy fit. "I-I have to agree with Severus, is it a good idea to employ a werewolf?" Flitwick asked.

"He was a werewolf when he attended Hogwarts as a child, and we built him a special cottage on the outskirts of Hogsmeade for him to transform in and spend the night in. He knows what he's doing, and he's a more than capable Defence Against the Dark Arts professor," McGonagall said. I silently wondered whether it was a good idea, but I trusted McGonagall's judgement.

"And we shall request that Severus make him the Wolfsbane potion," Dumbledore said with a kind smile and Snape scoffed, folding his arms. The entire faculty looked at him with raised eyebrows until he finally muttered a disgruntled 'fine', then sitting down once more. I wondered what this Professor Lupin was going to be like, as I had never to my knowledge met a werewolf before. I wondered how intimidating he'd be, how intense and possibly scary he'd be. However when September first came, I realised I couldn't be more wrong.

When he came to the school, I realised just how wrong I was. He was a kind and gentle man, with many scars upon his face undoubtedly from where he's had to transform. He was surprisingly good-looking, and I found myself wanting to chat with him quite a lot. I was lucky enough to be seated next to him at the start of the year feast, us getting to know each other pretty well throughout the course of the meal as on the other side of him sat Snape, who apparently refused to talk to him.

- Timeskip -

I looked through the telescope at the top of the astronomy tower, noting down the positioning of Jupiter in my notebook and comparing it to last night. I tapped my chin as I pulled away from the telescope, when suddenly I heard a creak. Quickly I turned around, and was surprised to see Remus standing there with a small smile on his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you," he said, stepping towards me.

"No, that's okay. If you don't mind me asking though, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came here a lot when I was at Hogwarts... whenever I needed some alone time. Plus I liked to think I was quite good at astronomy, charting the planets," he said.

"And the moon?" I questioned before I realised what I had said. "S-sorry, I shouldn't of said that," I said quickly, seeing his slightly uncomfortable expression.

"No, you're right," he said softly, approaching me. "I guess I had to be good at astronomy for that particular reason," he said and I nodded, understandably. "Don't suppose you've got this years moons charted, do you?"

"I do as a matter of fact," I said, pulling a sheet of parchment from my notebook and handing it to him. "It's something I do at the beginning of every year," I added, that being true but this year, as I was charting the moon cycle I couldn't help but think about how useful it'd be for him.

"Thanks, this'll help me prepare," he nodded.

"Happy to help. And if you... if you need anything else, don't be afraid to ask," I said in the most comforting voice I could and we smiled sweetly at each other, his worn and weathered face still being incredibly attractive. We spent a lot of the night together up in the tower until we realised it had gotten late, or rather early, so we quickly parted ways and headed to our respective quarters.

From that evening we spent many nights at the top of the astronomy tower together, either charting the stars and constellations or simply chatting away about anything that came to mind. We'd talk about our Hogwarts years and realised that when I started Hogwarts, he would've been in his final year but our paths never seemed to cross given the age gap and the fact we were in different houses.

He spoke of his old friends, and I was particularly surprised when he told me he used to be friends with Sirius Black. He didn't go into too much detail about him, but he said how he, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew all helped him with what he called his 'furry little problem'. I remembered that when he told me about them he seemed sad and quite quiet, so I put my hand on top of his. A small pink tint came to his cheek and he smiled at my ability to calm him down and comfort him.

From that point on I found myself falling for the new professor, which was terribly inconvenient. I had subtly asked him whether he had a partner waiting for him back in his hometown, but to this question he just laughed, then asking "Who'd want me?"

"Plenty!" I said without thinking, my throat then drying up.

"What about you... do you have anyone...?" He asked carefully and I shook my head.

"I feel as though being a professor here doesn't give you much of a chance to meet and start a life with someone," I sighed. We quickly changed the topic of conversation, and thankfully things didn't turn awkward between us. Day by day, night by night my feelings for Remus were getting stronger, and with each full moon I did everything I could to help him the next morning. I'd look out from the astronomy tower on the full moons, knowing he was out there somewhere all alone, and it made my heart hurt.

I had noticed that Decembers full moon fell on Christmas Eve, meaning he'd wake up on Christmas morning alone and in a cold, damp shack undoubtedly too tired to get up and head back to the castle. He told me he was planning on staying for the Christmas holidays, and when I realised the moons cycle I too decided to stay.

I hadn't told him this until he saw me on the first day of the Christmas holidays, heading into the Great Hall. "(y/n)? What're you doing here?" He asked, surprise laced in his tone.

"Nice to see you too," I teased. "I fancied staying at Hogwarts this Christmas."

"But what about your family? I thought you were looking forward to seeing them?" He asked.

"I was, but I've never spent a Christmas at Hogwarts not even when I was a kid, so I'd like to experience one," I used as an excuse and he looked at me skeptically.

"Well, let's get some breakfast then," he said after a moment and I nodded, the two of us sitting close at the head table in the hall.

The castle was incredibly quiet over the Christmas period, what with most of the students having gone home. Remus and I ended up having quite a lot of fun messing around and heading to Hogsmeade for mulled wine. We'd mess around the castle like we were students again, take midnight strolls and of course spend time in the astronomy tower.

It was a few days before Christmas when I decided to bring up the transformation. We were walking around the grounds, wrapped up tightly in our coats as the snow crunched under our feet. "Remus?" I said after a while of calm silence.

"Hm?"

"Your transformation's on Christmas Eve this month..." I mumbled and he sighed.

"Yeah, inconvenient timing," he chuckled.

"I want to be there with you," I said quickly, stopping in my tracks. He turned back to me, apparently surprised by my words.

"(y/n), I-,"

"Please Remus, the idea of you waking up on Christmas morning alone in that place just... makes me sad," I admitted my true feelings and he sighed.

"I don't want to hurt you (y/n). Although I'm taking the Wolfsbane potion there's still a chance I could injure you, and I'd never forgive myself if I did," he said, resting a hand on my shoulder. "Just wait for me at the castle. I'll be fine, I promise."

I looked into his chocolate brown eyes, there being reassurance written all over them. I sighed and nodded, but was still unsure.

- Timeskip -

It was Christmas Eve and I was in the Shrieking Shack, waiting for Remus. I had no doubt he'd be angry when he saw me here but I didn't want him to be alone, especially at a time like this. I had even spent the day decorating the interior to make it look more festive. I was surprised at just how beat up the interior was, but then I remembered that when he was at Hogwarts the Wolfsbane potion hadn't been invented, so the scratches on the walls and furniture were all from him in his pure werewolf state.

I tried not to let it intimidate me, and instead focussed on making this place a little cheerier. It was dark now so I knew that Remus was going to be here any second, and as I put the last bauble on the Christmas tree I heard the trapdoor open. "What the-," Remus' voice echoed throughout the house, him having obviously seen the decorations in the hallway. "Oh no... (y/n)?"

"Hey Remus," I stepped out of the living room, with a smile on my face.

"What are you doing?! I told you not to come!" He shouted, anger evident on his face.

"I couldn't stand the thought of you being alone this evening," I said, folding my arms and Remus sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "Please, let me take care of you Remus-,"

"I don't need taking care of!" He shouted, the moonlight then creeping into the windows. "I don't want you to see me like this," he growled, the transformation beginning. There was a loud crack as he was forced to hunch over, the bones in his body growing and changing. I stepped back a little as he gripped onto the wall, his fingers growing into claws and tearing the wallpaper. His clothes tore a little and his legs grew, his body transforming into a canines.

When the transformation was complete he was hunched over, apparently refusing to look up. He was whimpering and was probably still in pain. "Remus?" I mumbled quietly, and the werewolf flinched again. "Remus, please look at me."

He turned his head towards me, a look of sadness etched on his dog-like face. I however smiled, and knelt down in front of him. I couldn't stop myself from petting his head, asking him if he was okay. What looked like a smile appeared in his face, and he nodded. "C'mon, I've got something I want to show you."

I led him through the the living room I had just finished decorating, and with a wave of my wand the whole room lit up with the fairy lights I had wrapped around the tree. There was also sparkling tinsel hanging around the large fireplace, where I had started a fire when I first arrived. There were various Christmas ornaments lining the mantle piece and windowsills, as well as there being stars I had stuck to the ceiling. Remus' eyes were wide with wonder, and I couldn't help but smile seeing that all of my hard work had paid off. He immediately sat by the fire, snuggling against the rug that I had laid just before it. I sat beside him and was slightly surprised when he rested his head on my lap, but my heart was beating like crazy.

It was definitely an odd situation to be in, and one I never thought I'd be in given the fact we had constantly been told at Hogwarts that when a werewolf turned into its beastly state that it'd be a blood-thirsty, murderous predator but here I was with one who was laid by the fire with his head on my lap, as casually as a normal dog.

"Hey Remus, I've decorated the rest of the house too if you want to see?" I nudged his head playfully and he looked up at me, nodding. I led the way through the Shrieking Shack, showing him the kitchen, hallway and lastly the bedroom which had streamers hanging from the ceiling, tinsel wrapped around the beds posts and another tree in the corner. "What do you think?" I asked and he howled in response which I took to be a good sign.

He may have said that he rather me not be here, but I knew him well enough to tell that even in his werewolf form, he was enjoying the company. As it was almost midnight we sat by the fire, counting down the seconds until the hands on the clock hit twelve. "Merry Christmas, Remus," I said with a smile and he howled back, which I assumed meant 'merry Christmas' too. I saw a sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes, something which I didn't doubt was rare whenever he transformed. I hoped that if he was in his human state he'd be smiling from ear to ear.

It had gotten quite late and I had become very tired, due to the fact I was not a nocturnal animal. Remus noticed and nudged his head against me, nodding towards the door and I knew what he was hinting at. He led the way through the house back up to the bedroom, nodding at the bed as though telling me to go to sleep. I just chuckled and ruffled his head before settling down on the surprisingly comfortable bed. "Goodnight Remus," I whispered as he came and laid beside me. He let out a low moan before closing his eyes too.

- Timeskip -

Gently I fluttered my eyes open, it taking me a moment to realise where I was. I rolled over in the bed to see Remus fast asleep beside me, the duvet over his body. He looked somewhat at peace which surprised me a little, as he often looked completely worn down whenever he came back to the castle after a transformation. I looked over to the clock in the room and saw it was 10:00, but we had a decent excuse to have a lie-in.

I found myself staring at the man I had feelings for, my heart beating faster than it perhaps should. His eyes slowly opened and he looked straight at me, a calming look on his face. "Morning," his voice was groggy and definitely worn out, but it was of course understandable.

"Good morning," I couldn't help but smile, before remembering something important. I fished from my pocket a small wrapped up present I had for him. "Merry Christmas," I handed it to him, his eyebrows raised slightly. Using the little amount of energy he had he leant up onto his elbow, the duvet falling down a little to reveal some of his naked chest. I felt my cheeks heat up as I tried not to look.

"Thanks (y/n)," he whispered with a lazy smile as he pulled open the box to reveal a pendant with the Lupus constellation on it. I was relieved when a smile came to his face, him pulling it out of the box to get a better look at it. "This is beautiful," he said, examining the intricacy of the constellation on the pendant, it displaying each of the key stars that shaped it. "I do have a present for you too, it's back at the castle," he said and I chuckled.

"Don't worry about it Remus," I waved it off.

"Could you put it on for me?" He asked, handing me the pendant and I nodded, unhooking it and etching closer to him. Without thinking I wrapped my arms around his neck and peered over his shoulder, clipping the necklace back together.

It was then that I realised just how close we were to one another, me slowly etching back so that we were face to face. Neither of us moved as we looked into each other's eyes, and merely a second later our lips were connected.

My heart felt as though it had stopped and my lungs were drained of air as we moved our lips against each other's, warmth flooding my body. It was a sensual kiss but not sexualised, it was intimate but not heated. He cupped my cheek and I ran my hand up his arm, when he suddenly pulled away. My eyes opened quickly, wondering what was wrong.

"I'm suddenly very conscious about the fact I'm naked," he said and I let out a small laugh.

"Do you want me to leave you whilst you change?" I asked and he let out a light laugh.

"I have a rucksack downstairs with spare clothes it," he said and I nodded, getting up and going to find it, the smile never leaving my face as the kiss played on repeat in my head. I could still feel the warmth of his against mine, it sending rapid excitement through me. I knew spending the evening with him in the Shrieking Shack was a good idea.