VIII: Twenty Dollar Nose Bleed

"As you know, madness is like gravity...all it takes is a little push." ― The Joker, The Dark Knight

•••

Hearing the door open to her room, Bird blew out a sigh and kept the blankets up over her head as she turned further onto her side and smashed her face into the pillow.

It had been a nearly a week since she'd called Oswald to pick her up from the police station and he'd talked her into staying at the mansion he'd claimed when he took his post of the King of Gotham.

Her days since had been an alcohol fueled blur in which she was either too drunk to care about anything or slept for over eighteen hours a day to keep from thinking about the shambles her life had fallen into.

Aside from Oswald making it abundantly clear that her heartbreak was inconvenient and growing evermore annoying to him –she hadn't had much contact with anyone.

Which is why when someone came into her room, she'd just assumed it was him.

Despite not being able to see out into the room and being hidden from sight herself with the blankets; she could feel eyes on her.

"Oswald..." She groaned, with her voice muffled by the pillow.It was just a night or two ago that she'd woken up to find him sitting in a chair at the foot of her bed, where he'd been watching her sleep for God only knows how long.

"He's not here."

Her eyebrows furrowed at the familiar voice and she pulled the blanket off of her head as she greeted in question, "Victor?"

"Bird." He returned the greeting as he glanced around the mess of a bedroom she'd been living in.

Up until Oswald had brought her back there with him, he'd kept the room locked up tight and hadn't allowed anyone to even step a foot inside.

When his gaze finally landed back on Bird and she grew tired under the weight of his stare, she sighed, "What?"

"Come." He nodded towards the door, "We've got work to do."

"I don't have anything to do." Bird argued with him, "Falcone is gone and we don't work together anymore."

"You're just going to keep laying there?" He questioned through squinted eyes.

"Yes." She stubbornly closed her eyes and tried to pretend he wasn't there.

It was a few minutes later that Victor offered, "We could kill him."

"Kill who?" Bird's confusion grew as she lazily managed to sit up in the large bed and leaned against the pillows.

"Harvey Dent."

Upon hearing the name of her ex-fiancé, Bird's head whipped around to face him and she opened her mouth at the ready to threaten if he laid a finger on Harvey that she'd kill him –but she didn't get the chance when Victor gave an apathetic shrug and reasoned, "You'd probably be better off. After all, your relationship with him keeps reducing you to this pathetic state."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Bird nearly hissed at him.

"Don't I?" Victor questioned, not even pausing for a breath before adding, "I saw you like this before. Remember?"

"Yes, I remember Falcone forcing me to work with you –right around the time he had Harvey beaten to a bloody pulp. Not exactly the best memories from last year." She let the irritation she was feeling flood into every word spoken.

"Is that how you remember it?" Victor smiled his signature predatory smile as he took a few slow steps forward, he reminded her, "Because I remember you coming to me –talking about how you used to be great and blah blah blah." He motioned with his hands while he spoke, "What happened to that?"

"I don't know." Bird shrugged as if she couldn't bother to care about anything anymore.

"Thought you were sick of living in a haze?" He pushed, eyeing all the empty bottles on the nightstand and the floor next to her bed; mentally noting that the scene strongly resembled the few times he'd seen the inside of her apartment.

"Did Oswald send you in here?" She complained.Reaching down she grabbed onto the shirt she'd been wearing for several days and brought it to her nose to sniff.Her expression immediately wrinkled and Bird realized that the bad smell she'd thought was coming from somewhere in her room was actually emanating from her.Apparently self-care had taken a back seat to the drinking and trying to sleep the pain away.

"I already told you he's not here."

"Where is he?"

"Off to kill Janice Caulfield." Victor truthfully answered.

"Isn't she on city council?" Bird rubbed her face as she spoke and tried to make sense of what she was being told.

"And in the running for mayor." He nodded.

"Why..." She breathed, "What reason could he have to want her dead?"

"I'm not paid to ask questions." Victor stated, "I am being paid to kill Randall Hobbs though..." Looking down at his watch he added, "So, tick-tock. Come on."

Knowing that Oswald didn't do anything with a reason behind it, Bird wondered why the hell he was going after mayoral candidates and if she was in a better state of mind probably would have gotten up and found him to get the entire story.But that would require more energy than she currently possessed.

Just having a conversation with Victor Zsasz was far more draining then she remembered.

"I can't help you." The defeated tone in her voice sounded alien to both of them. A vacant look took over her brown hues and she slid back down in the bed and turned onto her side facing away from him.

Walking up to the bed, Victor reached down and grabbed onto the side of the mattress and without hesitation flipped it off of the bedframe; causing Bird to land on the floor with a painful thud.

"We leave in twenty minutes." He called over his shoulder before he left the room, "You're driving."

Crawling out from under where the mattress had landed on top of her, she angrily blew the hair out from her face and pulled herself up to her feet.

As much as she currently hated him for literally throwing her out of that bed, deep down she knew if he hadn't then she'd probably have still been lying in that same spot a week from now.

It had always been so easy for her to get caught up in the heartache inside of her and let it completely take over her life, even though that wasn't who she wanted to be.

There had been some truth to what Victor had said –her relationship with Harvey Dent, or more so, the dissolution of the relationship had reduced her to some pathetic sliver of whom she'd been.

The night she'd walked out of their house and said goodbye to Harvey; it felt like she'd broken her own heart.It was a deep hurt, more painful then she remembered it being the last time they'd broken up. It felt like someone had cut her open with a dull blade and pulled a piece of her out.

The truth was that she wasn't sure if she went into the relationship as an entire person, but she was agonizingly aware that she wasn't whole when she left it.

It didn't matter that her heart was broken; birds still sang in the beginning of each new day outside of her window.

It was such a strange feeling.Feeling like the world had stopped all the while watching life go on.

Sooner or later she was going to have to get back out there and face the world again.

She'd just been holding onto hope that it would be the latter option.

Blowing out another breath, she quickly gathered a clean change of clothes and headed into her bathroom. Maybe, just maybe, a hot -albeit quick shower, would be enough to make her start to feel human again.

•••

"This is the building." Victor directed as Bird pulled the car to a stop near a tall office building.

"I don't even like you that much." Bird stated, as she looked over him, "So how is it that you're the one who managed to get me through my last breakup and apparently this one too?"

"It's a gift." Victor smiled, the red lighting off the side of the building casting an eerie glow over his face and teeth.

Again, Bird swore to herself that if sharks could smile –they'd look exactly like Victor Zsasz whenever he smiled at her.

It was unsettling, but strangely enough there was a degree of comfort between them.

The last time she and Harvey had broken up – she'd found the strength to get through the worst of it through focusing on working for Falcone and training alongside Zsasz.

Maybe it had something to do with how he didn't seem to ever show any emotion and she never felt the need to hide how she was feeling with him.She could be visibly upset and he'd never ask what was wrong, he'd just let her be and sometimes that was the best gift anyone could give –to just let her be.

"Hobbs' campaign office is the entire second floor." Victor explained, leaning down some to get a better through the windshield.

"I'll wait here." Bird shrugged, before copping an attitude as she questioned, "Or are you planning to drag me out of the car by my hair?"

Without another word to her, Victor got out of the car and headed for the entrance.

Letting out a breath, Bird leaned her head back against the headrest of the driver's seat and took her phone out of her pocket, intending to call Oswald and find out why he was killing off mayoral candidates.

But just before she could select his name in her contact list, she heard sirens from nearby begin to grow closer and closer.

Getting out of the car she jogged up to the building and looked around the corner to see a large vehicle barreling down the street with red and blue flashing lights.She'd heard on the radio just a few days before that a new strike force was starting up at the GCPD to combat crime and make the streets safer –but she hadn't thought much of it at the time.

The department had been trying different tactics for years to clean the city up and nothing they did ever made much of a difference.

"Damn it." She muttered under breath, as she pulled the black bandana from her coat pocket and hurried to fold it before tying it behind her head to help shield her face from being recognized and then quickly pulled the hood of her jacket up before slipping on a pair of gloves and running into the building.

She'd worked with and fought alongside Victor for far too long to just abandon him in good conscience.

Bird took the stairs at least two at time on her way up to the second floor.

"Well, run back to whoever hired you. Tell them I'm not going anywhere. This city needs me." Hobbs declared as he and his guards stared Victor down.

"Nice speech, really." Bird huffed as she ran into the room, before looking at Victor and saying, "We've got a problem; and I'm talking GCPD strike force sized one."

With a single nod, he let her know he understood this was now a problem they needed to take care of in haste.

Looking between them Hobbs directed his attention back to Victor and pointed out, "Count idiot; there's five of us."

"I know." Victor nodded, as he straightened his stance from where he'd been leaned against a desk, "Hardly seems fair."

Almost immediately the atmosphere in the room changed to one of complete unease; of hunter and prey.

All of Hobbs' men went to draw their guns but they couldn't beat Victor's speed as he withdrew the guns from his underarm holster and started firing round after round at them.

"Let's go!" One of the men yelled, trying to shield his boss from the danger, "Move, move, move!"

Kicking one of the rolling desk chairs out into the path of where they men were trying to flee, Bird held back a laugh as one of the guards ran right into it and fell down nearly taking down the man beside him.

The rest of them fled the room and Victor rolled over the conference table, before doing a flip off the end of it and landing square on his feet –where he didn't even pause before racing after the fleeing men.

Bird started to run after him, but the guy who'd fallen victim to the chair she'd put in the way swung a leg out and brought her down.

Landing with a thud, it didn't take her long to spring back into action as she jumped back up to her feet –but he was nearly as fast as she was. Using the butt of the gun he was holding, he hit her on the side of the face hard enough it should have brought someone twice her size down.

"Son of a bitch!" She hissed, doubling over in pain and blinking rapidly as her eyesight wavered for a few seconds after the initial impact.

Startled and shocked by the lack of effect such a powerful blow had on her, the man took a step back with his eyes growing wide.

She was seeing fire red by the time she looked back at him, and in one swift move she lunged forward, putting her entire body behind the force of her arm as she caught him right under the chin with the heel of her hand.

His head snapped backwards and he was instantly out cold.

Bird swooped up his dropped weapon and even though he was unconscious, she didn't hesitate to pull the trigger and fired a single shot between his eyes to ensure that he'd never get back up again.

With that, she turned and ran out of the room, she could hear rapid rounds of gunfire from the stairwell she'd came up, but figuring the GCPD would probably have the door covered. She darted towards a door leading to a different stairwell and made her way outside.

Only she'd misjudged where the emergency exit would lead and as soon as she opened the door and ran outside she found herself behind enemy lines.

She'd ended up on the sidewalk right beside where the task-force vehicle was parked.

Hearing a clank behind him, Jim turned and took aim at the threat that had somehow gotten behind him while everyone had been focusing on Victor Zsasz, who'd been returning gunfire from just down the street, after the strike force had managed to get Hobbs to safety

"Drop your weapon!" He ordered when he found himself also staring down the barrel of a gun.He watched as the hooded figure slowly lowered the gun, but seemed hesitant to actually let it go.

"Drop it, now!" Jim yelled.

With a groan Bird dropped weapon to the sidewalk and kicked it over towards him before he even had the chance to give the instruction.

"On the ground!" He ordered, keeping his gun on the assailant whose face was hidden under the shadow of the hood and behind a dark bandana.

Bird reached up and pulled her hood off, letting her brunette waves spill out onto her shoulders just before she removed the bandana and watched Jim's angry expression change to one of shock as they stared at one another.

Not aware of what was happening behind them and still focused on Zsasz, one of the strike force members called out, "Fan out! Flank him from both sides, catch him in our crossfire."

Raising up from where he'd been taking cover behind an open car door, Bullock called out to them, "Yeah, do that."

Seeing that Jim no longer had his finger over the trigger of the gun, Bird pulled her hood back up and raced off down the sidewalk towards Victor when she saw him be brought down by what appeared to be shot to the shoulder.

With a groan of pain, he complained, "Unexpected."

Using his good arm, he fired a shot at the fire hydrant and just like he'd planned; the high pressured release of water shielded him from sight enough that with Bird's help –he was able to get back on his feet and they raced for the safety of their getaway car.

•••

"Hey." Bird greeted as she opened the backdoor of the car that Butch and Oswald were sitting in.

"Where's Victor?" Oswald questioned, turning in the passenger seat to look into the backseat before commenting, "It's good to see you among the living, Bird."

"He's injured." She explained, as her fingers fumbled to get the bottle of over the counter pain pills open. Ever since she'd gotten hit in the head, it felt like her skull had been split open. "He's going to be okay. I got him back to the house and called in one of our doctors. So I'm here in his place."

"And Hobbs?" Butch questioned, eyeing her in the rearview mirror.

"We ran into a problem." She admitted, glancing down to the dosage listing on the bottle before pouring several pills out into her hand and asking, "You got anything to drink?"

Not giving them time to answer, she leaned forward and plucked up one of the cups from the console between the front seats and took a drink before popping the pills in her mouth and downing them all in one swallow.

"Focus!" Oswald snapped at her, jerking the cup out of her hand and demanding to know, "What happened with Hobbs?"

"We took out all of his guards, but before we could get to him..." Her tone grew heavy, "Jim Gordon and his shiny new strike force intervened."

"Oh, yeah?" Butch hummed, "Hmm, didn't know Gordon was the one heading that up."

She nodded, but turned her attention to Oswald, "You know they probably put him straight into protective custody. He's going to be hard to get too."

"Yes, I'd imagine so." Oswald nodded, adjusting the bowler hat he was wearing and thinking out loud, "But he'll drop out of the race."

"Why are you killing off the candidates?" Bird questioned.

When Oswald didn't immediately offer up an answer, Butch agreed, "You gotta tell us what the hell's going on. I know I gotta do whatever you say, but at least tell me why the hell we're doing it?"

Oswald looked over at him and back to where Bird was sitting.

He'd been holding what was happening in for much too long, it had been eating away at his insides.He'd barely been able to keep food down.

"They have my mother." He admitted, his voice quiet as he spoke to the two people he trusted most in the world. Butch's brain was still programmed to follow Oswald's orders and Bird had always proved to be his truest friend.

"Who?" She gasped, leaning forward between the front seats to get a better look at him.

"Galavan and his sister." He answered, "They're making me do this."

"Oh my god..." Bird breathed with the feeling of her heart falling straight through the floorboard of the car and landing somewhere in the flames of Hell.

"Holy smokes..." Butch breathed, "We gotta find your mom."

Oswald's voice trembled, "If they find out we're looking, they'll hurt her... maybe even worse."

"Don't worry. We'll find her." Butch assured him, but the sentiment brought little comfort to Oswald who'd been living under the soul crushing threat of losing him mother for over a week now.

"We'll find her." Bird said, reaching forward and giving his still shaking hand a supportive squeeze, "We'll bring her home."

Oswald managed a nod, but even the sound of her voice could only ease his troubles a minuscule amount.

Leaning back in the seat, Bird raised her hand and felt where the skin had broken open above her eyebrow from the impact of the gun and thought to herself that she knew something was off with Galavan from the beginning.She'd tried to tell Harvey that there were red flags with how Jerome had died –but he never wanted to listen to her.

Though, now having more facts and looking back; in hindsight it was probably for the best that he brushed it off and didn't go digging into anything. He'd probably have gotten himself killed.

"That's why you sent guys to watch me, isn't it?" She voiced as it dawned on her why Oswald had sent men to guard her.

"Yes." He admitted, "Galavan taking my mother is terrible... but if he got you too..." His chin quivered and he couldn't finish his sentence, "With you both gone..."

"I get it." She softly said.

"If you ask me-" Butch started to say as he looked between them, "I think he about did. That mess about you being kidnapped and drugged and all that."

"Yeah." Bird managed to choke out her words, "When I saw him and his sister that night at the children's hospital fundraiser, it was like it jogged something in my memory. I knew them from somewhere but I couldn't quite place it. I still can't..."

"Galavan is behind the Arkham breakout too." Oswald filled in more pieces.

Looking down to her lap, she whispered, "I knew something was off... I could feel it, but no one believed me."

•••

Bird sat with her legs crossed underneath her on the bed as she stared down to her plate of white cheddar macaroni and absentmindedly stabbed the now cold noodles.

The drive back to the mansion had been very sobering for her.

It was a nightmare to begin with –learning everything about what Galavan had done, but the real terror hadn't come until after she'd fully processed exactly how much pull someone would have to have to pull everything off like he'd done.

They were truly facing an enemy with unlimited means; a threat she'd hadn't been faced with before.

Everyone she'd ever gone up against before had a weak point –a chink in their armor that if hit in the right way could bring them to their knees.Even Falcone had weaknesses to exploit.

But even if Theo Galavan had a weak spot –it would be too risky to strike while he had Oswald's mother. The cards were already stacked against them.

Galavan hadn't even been on their radar the entire time he'd been watching and plotting against them.

As much as she tried to push the thoughts from her mind, she couldn't stop herself from going to those dark places and imagining how scared Gertrud must be.

It wasn't just the fact that they'd taken her best friend's mother that left her stomach churning, though that was part of it.

Even living in Gotham; surrounded by crime and corruption, Gertrud somehow maintained an air of innocence around her.There were times when Bird wondered if the older woman somehow partially existed on some other plane of consciousness that someone as damaged as her could never reach –where one could achieve an almost whimsical sort of happiness.

There was something deeply wrong with mistreating someone that benevolent and innocent; like hurting a child or even a defenseless animal –it was simply unforgivable.

She, herself, had committed too many amoral acts to count -but even she had lines that she refused to cross.Theo Galavan, apparently, didn't have any lines.

Finally giving up on trying to force down another bite of food with her stomach tied up in tight knots, Bird pushed the tray off to the side and slid off the bed to go and check on Oswald.

Just as she neared the dining room door, she slowed when she saw Jim coming from the hallway of the main entrance.He stopped to give her a thoroughly disappointed look before charging into the dining room.

"You killed Caulfield. We have a witness. And the attempt on Galavan... was that you, too?" Jim's voice bellowed out into the hallway as he found Oswald sitting alone at the head of the table.

"Not now-" Oswald tried to say, as he stared to wine glass containing water and seltzer.

"And Hobbs? You sent Zsasz and Bird there?" He continued to yell at him.

"It's complicated, okay?" Oswald bit his tongue to keep from saying anything else.He had far too much already on his mind to deal with the wrath of a self-righteous Jim Gordon.

Bird lingered in the doorway of the room and watched as Jim walked right up to where her friend was sitting and tried to work through the facts.

"What does it profit you to mess with the election? You have your own sordid empire to rule over."

"Walk away, Jim. Let me be."

"The GCPD has new leadership. No more deals, no more favors. If they find out you're behind these attacks, we will come after you with every..." He started to threaten.

"Rousing speech! Really! Goosebumps." Oswald called out, his voice nasally as he stood up to get on the detectives eye level, "But you came here alone, Jim. With no warrant, no cuffs, no backup, and why? Because you would hate for your new captain to find out about how you gunned down Ogden Barker in cold blood. Over a debt!" A maniacal laugh slid between his teeth as he clarified, "A debt to me."

"He was trying to kill me." Jim defended, his nostrils flaring.

"Where are your witnesses? And just that day before, I suppose you did not ask me to run Commissioner Loeb out of town so that you could get your old job back?" Oswald furthered his line of reasoning and logic, growing long since tired of Jim talking down to him after all the favors he'd done him.

"I'll face whatever's coming to me." Jim's voice lowered back to a normal talking range.

"As will I. Goodbye, Jim." Oswald dismissed, motioning with his hand for him to vacate the room and leave him to his thoughts.

Jim slowed to a stop as he neared the doorway where Bird had been watching them and their eyes met.

"Detective." Bird softly said with an arched brow as she stepped to the side to let him through.

"Bird." He nodded, glancing over his shoulder at Oswald before looking back to her and quietly asking, "Walk me out?"

Gradually she nodded and they walked together in silence down the hallway until they were outside in the cool night air. Turning to face her, he placed a hand on her arm when he saw her start to head back to the house, "What in the hell is going on here?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She stubbornly shrugged, "And even if something was... it doesn't really concern you."

"Really?" Jim asked, moving to try and catch her line of sight, "If you didn't want me involved in this then why'd you take your mask off in front of me?"

"Shock factor?" She shrugged, "I was counting on you being surprised to see me there and the fact that you weren't going to pull that trigger if you knew it was me."

"Guess your plan worked." His jaw tensed as he stared her down. She'd put him in a position he didn't want to be in by revealing her identity earlier that night.If anyone else had seen the exchange between them, Barnes would have found out he simply let her leave.

"Why are you so mad, Jim?" She tossed her arms out to the sides as if she truly couldn't see his side on the matter, "Hobbs lived, your guys saved him. Gold star for you. You get to wear the hero title for another day."

"Why are you doing this?" His voice lowered but the tone was full of gravel as he stepped closer until his face nearly in hers and he repeated, "Why are acting like this?"

"Walk away, Jim." Her whisper of words hung in the night air around them.Air that was steadily growing thicker –weighed down with words left unspoken on both sides.

"After everything..." He shook his head, "Everything that you've been through this past year and putting this part of your life and these people behind you... why go back?"

"I tried, you know?" She pulled in a harsh breath with the honest tone she'd taken, "I tried to walk away from this. I gave up my friends and everything I'd worked for to become an easier pill for the people I loved to swallow and it was all for nothing, Jim." A bitter tasting smile curved her lips, "I got arrested and ended up in Arkham for something I didn't even do."

"And the truth came out." He argued with her.

"It did." Bird nodded, "All the truths came out, didn't they? The media had a field day with the leaked information of my being Falcone's biological daughter and my other ties to Gotham's crimes circles. All of that just ended up being the final nail in the coffin of mine and Harvey's relationship."

"So, yeah, after everything I'm right back where I started because I had nowhere else to go. I am who I am and the truth is –is that it doesn't matter how hard I fight it because I was always going to end up right back here." Bird continued.

"That's such a cop out." Jim called her reasoning out, "It's so easy to recuse yourself of responsibly when you tell yourself that you didn't have a choice in the matter. But you had a choice; you always have a choice."

"Why does it matter so much to you anyways?" Bird pushed.

His eyes moved across her features in the streetlights and the glow of the moonlight before he slowly said, "You know why."

"Yeah?" Bird's eyebrows raised, "Then say it."

Jim's jaw tensed with his breath caught in his throat as he stared at her with their faces just inches apart.

When he held his silence, Bird spun on her heels and started back for the house but he stopped her as he admitted, "Because I care about you."

He waited until she turned back around before adding, "And I meant what I said in there. GCPD is under Captain Barnes' leadership now and it's only a matter of time until they're going to come after Penguin with everything they've got. I don't want to see you get caught in the crosshairs."

"Well, if that happens at least I'll be going down for something I actually did this time." Bird said, not seeming to take what he said seriously as she helplessly let out an unsteady laugh.

"I'm not kidding here." His tone switched back to urgency verging on heated as she continued to laugh. The one thing that always got under his skin was her refusal to take anything seriously, "If the GCPD comes after you, I can't help you. There is nothing I could do to protect you-"

"I've never asked you too, Jim!" Her voice cracked as she yelled at him over the sounds of a car driving past the house.

She meant what she'd said to Oswald, that they'd get his mother back –but she also knew that going up against Galavan would put anyone they were close to in danger.

She could feel a storm brewing in the distance –much like how atmosphere of the city changed so drastically after her parents' murders.

A darkness was closing in –so heavy and viscous that it clung to her flesh and couldn't be rinsed away.

"The only thing I'm asking from you now is to just leave me alone." She finally added, swallowing hard as she spoke.

The confusion on his face grew, "What?"

"There's nothing here for you. Not anymore." Bird said.

"I don't believe that-"He started to argue, but she didn't give him much of an opportunity to.

"It wasn't just Zsasz." She cut him off, "I killed someone tonight."

"Bird-"

"After I'd knocked him out, mind you. It wasn't some heat of the moment thing –it wasn't self-defense. He was unconscious on the floor-"

"Stop it!" Jim ordered, but she didn't listen as she stepped closer and coldly added, "He was defenseless and I put a bullet straight through his brain."

Stepping even closer until there was barely any open space between them as they stood on the sidewalk, their eyes locked and a wide smile spread over her lips and she added, "And I liked it."

Even with as much effort as she was putting into pushing him away –deep down there was still a part of her that wanted him to push back.

To use his detective skills and pick up on the clues around them that something was off.

Like how Oswald was drinking seltzer instead of wine or how he'd been unable to stop his hands from trembling.

She hoped that Jim had gotten to know Oswald well enough that it would eat away at him how his going after the people in the running for mayor made no sense at all.

That he might somehow put two and two together and manage to land at four.

Or maybe he'd even be able to see it in her eyes that she was scared too.That knowing who'd framed her for murder didn't bring her any peace or solace –only more fear of facing down something far bigger than she'd ever expected.

Jim's eyes bore into hers before he finally pulled his gaze away; angry and disappointed –upset even as he said out loud, "You're really that far gone, aren't you?"

"Goodbye, Jim." Bird said in an eerily calm voice without looking him in the eyes, before she turned and headed back into the house and closed the door behind her.

Her eyes pinned shut and she finally let out the breath she felt like she'd been holding for an eternity.She'd pushed hard and said all the right things for him to give up on her –but he'd always been someone who'd push right back.But people can only take so much and apparently it was easier for him to look at her and just see a criminal instead of what was driving the situation.

"Well?" Oswald asked.

Opening her eyes she saw him standing down the hallway watching her.

"What did you tell him?" He furthered his line of questioning.

"Nothing." She admitted with a small shrug, before clearing her throat and asking, "If we bring anyone else into this... they're as good as dead, aren't they?"Though it was worded as a question; it was spoken as a statement –she already knew the answer.

Oswald gave a single nod in response.His gaze lingered on her for a while longer before swallowed hard and questioned, "And you're worried about Jim Gordon?"

"No." Bird lied, shaking her head from side-to-side. "I'm worried about your mom and I'm worried because if Galavan was behind what happened at the children's hospital benefit –then he's trying really hard to look like a hero... not just to the city as a whole; but also to my brother."

Walking towards him down the hallway she thought out loud, "Clearly, he's wanting to be mayor, but no one goes to this much trouble just to be mayor. What's his endgame?"

"I don't know and I don't care!"Oswald's sudden outburst stopped Bird in her tracks and left his entire body trembling uncontrollably.

Pinning his eyes shut, he pulled in a shallow and shuddering breath as he leaned his head forward.He hadn't meant to snap at her. Out of everyone, she was the one he knew would stand by him –she always had.

"We have to find her, Bird." He finally found enough strength to be able to speak again.

"We will." She vowed, quickening her pack to get to where he was standing, "Theo Galavan has already made one giant mistake."

When he finally looked at her, Bird did her best to smile as she continued, "He's underestimated you. Just like Fish did, same with Maroni and even Falcone. Everyone who's made that mistake is gone and you're still standing."

She could see his chin starting to quiver and the tears welling up in his eyes; she fought against the burning sensation stinging at her own eyes, "He's not going to win, Oswald. We won't let him. We're going to get your mom back and then we're going to kill Galavan and anyone who's helping him."

With that she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him and for the first time since everything had started to crash and burn in his world –he could see a tiny glimmer of hope on the horizon.

••• The next day •••

"Feeling better, are we?" Alfred questioned as he approached Bird, who'd just came in the main entrance of Wayne Manor.

"You mean since you called Jim on me outside of the corner store that night?" Bird shot back without missing a beat.

"Lady Wayne..." Alfred sighed with a slight shake of the head. Deciding to skip the lecture he was sure would do neither of them any good, he then guessed, "Here to see Master Bruce?"

"I'll be in the study." She replied, breezing past him.

"Right, well, I'll just go and fetch him then." Alfred called after her.Once she was out of sight, he tilted his head back and stared up at the ceiling finally allowing the irritated sigh he'd been holding back to escape.

Ever since she'd learned he'd known the truth about her birthmother, Bird had been giving him the cold shoulder –freezing him out.He hadn't seen such behavior from her since she'd been a teenager.

Bird walked into the study and glanced around before plopping down onto one of the sofas and waiting to speak to her little brother.Something that she knew should have been done several days ago, but she hadn't been in the right state of mind to see him.

An unbalanced laugh slid from between her teeth as she considered that she probably still wasn't, but part of being an adult was stepping up and doing things that you didn't want to; like apologizing to someone you've wronged.

Closing her eyes, she slid down in her seat some and rested her head against the back of the couch hoping to rest her eyes and mind, even if only just for minute.Only rest never seemed to come easy to her anymore. Even when she slept days away, she never actually felt rested.

Instead of the darkness behind her eyelids, she could see Jim's face –that day in the kitchen when he'd told her he didn't recognize her anymore. That the person he'd believed her to be wouldn't have ever involved Bruce in illicit activities.

Letting out a groan, she roughly rubbed her hands over her face trying to shake the memories free.

"Starling."

Slowly her hands fell from her face and her posture straightened when she'd heard her name whispered in a child's voice.

She looked around the room, but didn't see anyone else there and nothing appeared to be out of place.

Just as she was about to dismiss it, she saw a small shadowed figure from behind the long curtains covering the windows against the far well.

"Hello?" Bird asked, as she stood up and started towards the windows.As she got closer she could see a pair of socked feet just barely visible from where the curtains nearly touched the floor.

She reached out and grasped onto the curtain, but hesitated to pull it aside.

It was clear someone was hiding there –but the shadow was too small to be her brother, plus he'd never been the type to hide and jump out at someone. That was something she'd done as a young child, but not her brother.

Aside from Alfred, there shouldn't have been anyone else in the house.

This is crazy.She thought to herself. The late evening lighting had her eyes playing tricks on her; seemed to be the only logical explanation.

Having nearly convinced herself of just that, she counted to three inside her head and jerked the curtain open in one swift movement.

"Boo!"

Bird watched state of shock that cut so deep it was paralyzing as a little girl with a mess of long brown waves yelled at her before giggling and running out of the room, leaving the sounds of laughter bouncing off of the walls well after she was out of sight.

Blinking rapidly, Bird was finally able to move again and she rubbed her eyes as if that could somehow erase what she'd just witnessed.It wasn't until she was finally able to pull in deep breath that she'd realized she knew that little girl, she'd seen that face looking back at her in so many family pictures filling the albums in Wayne Manor.

It was her, her face –from many years ago.

Darting out of the room, Bird looked around trying to catch another glimpse of her younger self, all the while desperately hoping she wouldn't.

Off to the right she saw the mess of brown waves disappear around the corner and she jogged after her, following her all the way down the other hallway and into the bathroom, her pace slowed as she stepped onto the tile floor and no longer could see the young girl.

Her eyes cut over to where the white shower curtain was pulled closed and before she had the chance to talk herself out of it, she reached over and jerked it open.

Only this time there was no surprise waiting for her; just an empty shower.

Shaking her head, Bird pulled the curtain back closed and started to walk back out of the room, her mind racing and trying desperately to come up excuses for what she'd just seen.

It was then that she came to a dead stop in the center of the room, out of the corner of her eye she'd noticed that her reflection in the mirror wasn't mirroring her movements.Swallowing hard, Bird ever so slowly turned her head and looked straight into the mirror –as her reflection smiled sinisterly back at her, a chill prickled down her spine.

This isn't real, she told herself, this couldn't be real.

Though, losing her mind didn't sound like the best alternative either.Especially not now.Not when her best friend's mom had been kidnapped by the same people who had framed her for murder months before.

No, going crazy right now wasn't an option.

"It's not real." She breathed as she pinned her eyes shut and wished the hallucinations away.

"It's not real." She repeated again, her hands opening and clenching closed into fists repeatedly at her sides.

"This isn't real."Chanting it one last time with more conviction, as if she were sending up a prayer –Bird finally opened her eyes and let out a sigh of relief when her reflection was mimicking her actions again.

She turned her head from side to side and twisted her face up in various expressions for good measure before she got the nerve to step up to the sink.

Reaching up she pushed on the corner of the glass to open the medicine cabinet behind it. She was just about to close it up when the light glimmered off the blade of a pair of scissors.

Picking them up, she closed the cabinet and stared at her reflection again and before her brain had even fully caught up with her actions she was cutting inches off of her long hair.

Dark waves fell onto the counter, in the sink and down onto the tile floor around her shoes.

Snip

Snip

Snip

Each time the blades moved against each other and more of her hair littered the bathroom; the freer she felt.With every inch gone it was as if she was cutting away something bad that had happened.

She didn't stop until her hair was long enough to hang just past her chin.

The scissors fell with a clank to the tile and she let out the breath she'd hadn't even realized she'd been holding.

Without giving much attention to the mess she'd made, she turned and simply walked out of the room, making her way back to the study to find her brother there waiting on her.

"Starling, I thought-" Bruce started to say, but his sentence abruptly came to a stop when he got a look at her.

"You, uh, you cut your hair." He pointed out the obvious. Seeing all the uneven chunks and slanted, jagged edges he cleared his throat and did his best to smile, "It looks nice."

"It feels nice." Bird replied, as she walked further into the room and back over to the windows where she'd seen her younger self just minutes before. Leaning against the wall she glanced over her shoulder and said, "Tell Alfred sorry about the mess."

Shifting his stance, Bruce continued to watch her.

"I'm sorry." He softly said, "That it didn't work out with you and Harvey."

"He told you?" Bird asked, finally turning back around to face him.

"Not exactly." Bruce explained, "I called your house when you weren't picking up your cellphone. He didn't say much...but you're not wearing your engagement ring anymore."

"Huh." She exclaimed, eyes squinting at him, "Very perceptive of you."

"You never got around to packing up your room last year." He pointed out, "You're welcome to move back home-"

"No, thank you." Bird didn't even let him finish the invitation.

"Where are you staying?" He pushed for more information from her.Something was wrong, something was off with her –he could sense it; made his skin feel like there were microscopic bugs all over him.

"With a friend." Bird answered, "Oswald Cobblepot."

Bruce's eyebrows immediately furrowed, "The Penguin?"

When she nodded, his forehead lines deepened, "But... but he's a criminal."

"And what exactly do you think I am, little brother?" She questioned, taking a few steps forward and even though he was growing more uncomfortable by the second –he didn't back away.

"What do you think I stopped here for?" She continued.

"To apologize." He freely admitted.

Lowing her head, Bird let out a laugh before she quickly stepped forward and took his face in her hands with her admission, "That's right! You're exactly right. The entire drive over here I was planning on apologizing to you –for involving you when I saw those guys following me. Tell you how sorry I was for drunk dialing you the other night and how I wished you hadn't had to see me like that-"

"Let go!" Bruce complained, trying her pull her hands off the sides of his face and back away from her.

"Why?" Bird asked, her eyes taking on a wild hue and her voice growing higher as she asked, "Are you afraid of me?"

Finally knocking her hands away from him, Bruce stepped back away from her and glanced back at the doorway as he called out, "Alfred!"

"What do you think he's going to do?" Bird's voice bellowed through the room.It only took Alfred mere seconds to rush to sound of Bruce's distressed voice, he entered the room and didn't slow down until he was next to him –ready to defend him if he had to.

"I mean really..." Bird tried to hold it back, but another unstable laugh erupted from somewhere inside of her and she took a couple steps away from them, "What are either of you going to do? What? Call Jim Gordon on me again?"

When neither of them seemed able to find an answer for her, Bird commented, "Go ahead. Call him –but I'll bet he's not so willing to run to my rescue now."

"Lady Wayne-" Alfred began.

"No, you see, Bruce –I really did come here to say sorry but it just occurred to me that I don't owe you an apology." Bird cut Alfred's attempt to get through to her short and directed all of her attention to her brother, "I don't owe anyone a damn thing."

"I am so sick and tired of apologizing for who I am to all of you!" She yelled, throwing her arms dramatically out to the sides, "I'm not the bad guy. He's out there, somewhere, but it's not me, okay?"

Her whole head moved as she looked impatiently back and forth between them, "Okay?" She repeated twice as loud.

At a complete loss as to what he should do or say to her, Bruce gradually nodded his head.

"Good." Bird nodded back at him.

"I think it's best if you called it a night, Lady Wayne." Alfred sternly said, taking a step closer to her and moving to shield Bruce from seeing her like that any further.

"No, he needs to hear this." Bird argued, but stayed where she was standing as she spoke, "Rule number one of surviving in Gotham; you don't snitch. You don't rat out your enemies... and you sure as hell don't call the police on your own family, little brother."

"Yeah?" Alfred's eyebrows raised, "And what would you have had him do, hm? You knocked two men unconscious in an alley and had your bother help you load them into your car!"

"I called Detective Gordon, not the police." Bruce tried to defend his actions, "He's a friend."

"Snitches get stitches, Bruce." Bird called out in a sing-song voice and even Alfred felt like he had no idea who this person standing in front of them was.

Stepping out from where Alfred had him partially shielded, Bruce raised his voice to get through to her, "I don't understand." He admitted with his entire face contorted with emotion and confusion, "Why are you acting like this?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm not acting like anything." Bird argued with him, her own face twisted up as if she honestly didn't see a single thing wrong with what she was saying or how she was acting."You wanted this, right? You wanted to know the things I kept hidden from you and then you got a glimpse behind the curtain and didn't like what you saw. So, really, this is on you." She jotted a finger in his direction.

"Maybe you shouldn't be hunting down the answers to questions you're not ready to have answered." She shrugged, the lively look leaving her eyes just as fast it had emerged.Suddenly looking rather exhausted she shrugged again, "You saw all that crap dad was hiding under the house. What if you start uncovering things about him that you never wanted to know?"

"That's enough!" Alfred yelled, motioning to the doorway he questioned, "I trust you can find your own way out?"

Bird looked at her brother one last time before she brushed past and purposely bumped into Alfred on her way out of the room.She kept her brisk walking pace right out of the front door, which she left standing wide open behind her, until she reached her car and sped off of the property.

•••