Chapter 21 - Two & Two

When I came back to the office, Mon asked if I was okay.

She told me about the email that I read but didn't get to answer because what do I tell her?

The truth?

That was not an option so I said what I needed to hear.

I was fine and there was no need to worry.

There was one thing I noticed with her and it bothered me.

She seemed distracted.

Since my return, she was not her usual bubbly self.

I often caught her staring off in the distance when I pass by her desk.

There were also times when I would ask a question and she didn't hear it.

I even joked if she was turning deaf.

That didn't get a laugh.

It worried me.

We were still writing the stories separately but with the amount of inattentiveness she was showing, I had to call her to my office so we could talk in private.

The Mon who came in had red-rimmed eyes and a pink nose.

"Are you alright?" I asked the moment she sat down.

"Yes," She avoided looking at me.

"Are you getting sick?"

"I don't know. Maybe," Even the answers were vague.

"Why don't you take the afternoon off? You did most of the work on the story while I was away. Take a break."

"It's fine. I'll make it till 4pm," She sneezed.

"Mon, it's obvious that you're not fine. Now go home so you can rest." I gave her the box of tissue.

She pulled multiple sheets and blew her nose.

"Are you sure it's okay, Sam? We still have a lot to do."

"It's fine, Mon. In your condition, there wouldn't be much you can do anyway. Now, go home. It's Friday anyway. You have the whole weekend to get better."

"Okay," She stood up.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I just don't feel so good." Her eyes were wet I thought she was crying but it must be from whatever virus she caught.

"Don't be sorry. Now go before I change my mind." I waved her off.

She thanked me and closed the door behind her.

The Mon I knew was never like this.

In high school, she never complained and pushed through with exams even when she had a fever.

The only time she acted odd was when we would fight.

She still attended class but the ebullient energy was gone until we made up.

Could that be the reason why she was behaving differently?

Did she and Nita had a fight?

When I was home, I had plenty of time to think about what I should do with my situation.

After talking to the doctor and deciding on a strict regimen of medications and a new diet, I thought of how to deal with Mon and Nita dating.

Kate was right when she said that Mon looked truly happy.

I saw in that short video how she reveled in Nita's touch.

It hurts to see that.

I used to be the one who made Mon feel that way.

Now someone else was doing it and she willingly allowed another person to touch her in places that made her feel good.

How cruel would be if I take that away by pursuing Mon and forcing what I want?

I don't want to do that to her.

I shouldn't.

Mon had been through so much when we were together.

She hid what we had, covered up for me, made up lies and went to all these secret places so we could not be seen by anybody who might know us or my grandmother.

Now that we are together, I still aggravated her by being selfish with my feelings.

If I really love her, I should do the right thing.

Even if it wasn't the right one for me.

When the doctor advised that I should avoid stress, I laugh so loud that she asked if I was okay.

I said that if I wanted to do that, then I should pack up my stuff and leave everything behind.

I was surprised when she actually agreed.

"It doesn't have to be a major life change, Sam. Make small changes here and there. Perhaps taking a break and not working 14-16 hours a day would help with your migraines."

She sounded like she was talking about her own schedule.

If she only knew how often I was tempted to go somewhere far and start over.

Hell.

I even thought of changing my name, my hair and my identity.

But that was just me thinking of the easy way out.

Leaving everything behind and turning my back on what was expected of me will hurt my grandmother.

Nueng did that when she left home.

It destroyed her.

I could never let her go through the same thing again.

Not when I was the only one left.

The doctor brought up surgery.

I refused to do it.

It was a risky procedure and I was scared of not making it out alive.

The effect of medication would not be as fast but it will reduce the pain and it everything goes according to plan, completely alleviate the problem.

With Mon gone for the day and Nita away on vacation, I thought of leaving early too.

But I have to write my part of the story.

The draft was ready so I opened the file and started reading but I kept getting stuck on the same paragraph.

I massaged the back of my neck, stretched my arms and blinked countless time to get rid of the blurry vision but that only help a little.

Maybe I need a little reinforcement to keep my eyes open.

I stood up and went to the break room to get coffee.

I was almost at the door when I heard Noi, Yha and Auntie Mhee talking to each other.

Their voices were loud so it was not hard to miss the conversation.

What I heard confirmed my initial thought about Mon's behavior.

I peeked from behind the door and saw them watching something on a cellphone.

After about five minutes of eavesdropping, I cleared my throat.

The talking stopped when they saw me come through the door.

"Don't you have work to do?" I asked in a stern tone.

"Yes, yes." Their heads bobbed as they scrambled to get out of the break room.

Once I was alone, I poured myself a cup of very, very hot coffee.

Holding the scalding mug, I stood with my back against the sink counter and processed everything I heard.

Noi took a video of Mon and Nita arguing at a restaurant washroom.

She was in one of the stalls when she heard them come in.

They all confirmed that they were dating.

The argument had something to do with Mon not being completely honest with Nita.

Kirk's name was also mentioned.

That part puzzled me but then was it really a big mystery?

He told my grandmother about Mon and I.

I stopped drinking my coffee.

Did he do something similar?

I wouldn't put it past him if he did.

There was only one way to find out.

I called his number when I came back to my office.

"We have to talk," I said as soon as he sat down.

"What's so important that you invited me to come over? Your office is nice by the way," His eyed roamed the big space.

"Where were you on a Wednesday night?"

Kirk's lips curled into a smile but I quickly cut if off by speaking.

"If you think I'm jealous, you're mistaken."

"What is this about, Sam?"

"Just answer my question."

"Let me think," He clasped his hands then pressed his forefingers together towards the tip of his straight nose.

"Ah. I was in a meeting with the board members. Why?"

"Where was the meeting?"

He frowned.

"Why does it matter?"

"Just answer the question, Kirk.""It was at the Italian restaurant in that fancy mall we went to before."

"Did you talk to Nita?"

The creases on his forehead deepened.

"Is that why you called me here?"

"Just answer the goddamn question, Kirk."

"Is this about Mon?"

I didn't say anything.

"Answer the goddamn question, Sam." He shot back.

"Yes, it is. Are you happy now?"

"I knew it. You had the gall to be mad at me when you never told me that you were working with her. If I didn't see Nita, I wouldn't know that you are together again."

"We're not together. Don't twist the story."

"Yet you're still protecting her."

"Because you did the same thing years ago. Why, Kirk? Why do you have to make other people miserable so you can be happy?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on, Kirk. Don't tell me you're still denying that you were the one who told grandmother about my relationship with Mon."

If smoke could come out of his nostrils, it would have billowed and activated the fire alarm.

"Is it not enough that I'm marrying you? Why do you have to say something to Nita? Mon is happy now. Is that not enough for you?"

"But you're not happy, Sam."

"Being happy with each other was not part of this arrangement. I told you that from the very beginning."

"When will you tell me about Mon, huh?"

"I wasn't."

"See? This is what I was talking about. Even after all this years, it was always about her."

"Can you blame me if I still love her?"

"You're still in love with her? Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes, Kirk. Nothing has change. I still love Mon and it will always stay that way. But she doesn't feel the same way about me. Is that not enough to make you happy?" I curled my hands into a fist to stop it from trembling.

"You're going to get what you want soon. You and grandmother won."

"I did what I had to do to make sure you don't stray, Sam.""Bullshit," I slammed my fist on the desk.

He wasn't even startled.

"You did what you had to do to make sure I would never be happy." A tear fell.

I didn't brush it away.

Kirk gritted his teeth, his jaws tightened with every passing second.

He didn't say anything so I broke the silence.

"I love my grandmother and I will not do anything to break her heart. You'll get the wedding you wanted but don't expect anything else from me. Just leave Mon alone. At least one of us deserves to be happy."