Chapter 26

Everyone say hey to Denny! (;^^^^

Lilly's POV

The drive to the party is short and sweet, Jo and I belting out tunes to songs we don't even know the words to. Sutter had a contemplative look on his face almost the whole drive, and looked out the window instead of at us. I'm not sure what was on his mind, but it must have been something heavy, because as soon as we pulled up in the driveway and got out of the car, he instantly pulled me in for a hug and kissed me on the cheek.

I'm not complaining, but I'm curious to know what was weighing on him. But I held off on asking, because I didn't want to ruin the night before it even got started.

    We had been at the party for close to twenty minutes now, and if people thought it was weird that I showed up with Sutter and Jo, they didn't say anything in front of us.

     Jo wanted to play a drinking game, and I told her I would, but she was drinking for both of us. I really was going to try to make it through the night without downing ten red solo cups, of God knows what.

     It didn't help that I was thinking about what happened between Sutter and I in his room before we left. I couldn't get that kiss, or the frantic gropes, and touches, out of my head. I kept catching myself rubbing my fingers over my lips, still feeling the tingling sensation he left there.

     He was on the other side of the party talking to Jesse and some other football guys, but every few minutes I would catch him looking over here at me. He had to be thinking what I was too, I know I wasn't the only one affected by what we did.

     "Lil, focus!" Jo gripes at me, noticing I'm paying attention to anything but this damn game.

     It must be my turn to try and get my quarter in the cup. I'm good at this game, and just about make it every time. I grab the quarter in between my two fingers, drop it to the table, and watched it sail into the cup. Everyone on my team started cheering, and Jo downed the drink that was really made for me.

     I watched her finish the cup in five gulps, knowing I would have finished it in two or less. The thought of the alcohol on my tongue made my mouth water, and I knew if I didn't focus on something else soon, I wasn't going to make it through the party without drinking.

     Drinking and drugs had been my life for over the past two years, and cutting that off was going to be a lot harder than I initially realized. Even though I was the one who wanted to stop, who wanted to make the change to be a better person.

     I didn't think I was an alcoholic, but I did know I became dependent on the alcohol as an escape, to get out of my head for a while and forget all the turmoil I had inside of me, and what was going on in my everyday life. It was almost a defense mechanism to the reality around me that I wished wasn't mine.

     That wasn't the case anymore, and I needed to let myself remember what it felt like to be strong, and deal with my issues without a buffer or numbness.

      "Let's go dance!" I told Jo, and was thankful she let me pull her away from the game without any complaints.

     An upbeat pop song was playing over the surround sound, and we started jumping and throwing our arms up like the other people around us. When it changed to a slow r&b song, we bumped and grinded all over each other, and I noticed plenty of boys giving Jo an appreciative look.

     After dancing to at least six songs in a row, Jo finally stopped and leaned into my ear. "Let's go to the bathroom!" She had consumed at least five solo cups of some punch since the time we had arrived, and I was surprised she made it this long.

     We weaved our way through the crowded house, and I looked for Sutter in every face we passed but never noticed him. We climbed the stairs to find the bathroom that Fuller always told guest to use, and saw that there was a line of three girls in front of us.

     "Ugh! I don't know if I'm going to make it!" Jo exclaimed.

     "You'll be fine, hold it a little bit longer you toddler." I teased her.

     "Toddler? I can hold my pee like a champ."

     I rolled my eyes playfully. "Says the one who can't wait an extra five minutes to use the bathroom."

      "Let's stop worrying about my urination process, and worry about what went on in that bedroom between you and my brother." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

     When Sutter and I had finally exited his room, ready to leave for the party, Jo was leaning on the wall outside of his room. She, of course, quickly observed our disheveled state of hair and clothes. She didn't say anything out loud then, but sent a look my way that told me I would spilling my guts to her later.

     "Do you really want to know all the gory details between your brother and I?" I asked her, and leaned up against the wall of the stairwell.

     "Oddly enough, yes and no. Don't tell me anything gross about his penis that I don't want to know, but I do want to know if you guys have a had sex again yet."

     As soon as she said the word penis, the image of Sutter dropping his towel in front of my flashes in my mind, and I feel my cheeks heat up.  

      "We almost had sex, but he stopped us first because he said he didn't want us to start something on a night like tonight, when everyone is home and we had plans to go out." I try to be discreet as possible with what I tell her.

     "Well, I guess that's sweet in a weird way. I'll have to come up with something to get mom and Dad out of the house some for you guys." Her face depicts that she's already scheming.

      "Don't you find it strange that you're trying to help your brother out with having sex with his ex girlfriend?"

     She bumps her shoulder into mine. "One, you're not his ex girlfriend. You two will be back together before you know it, and I mean officially and exclusively. And two, it's not strange, it's awesome. Because I'm awesome."

     This time I bump her with my shoulder. "You are pretty awesome."

     "Ohhhh, say it again sista!" She pinches my side and makes me laugh.

     "I heard you were here with them, but I had to see it to believe it for myself." A voice says behind me, causing Jo and I to both freeze.

    I turn around and come face to face with Denny, whose standing on a stair lower than mine, so our faces are almost on equal level. I automatically take step up next to Jo.

     "What are you doing here?" I ask him.

     "Shouldn't I be asking you that? I haven't seen you since you stormed out of my bedroom. I've called and texted you countless times, and you haven't had the decency to reply. I don't even know why you have the fucking thing, you never use it." Denny's voice is cold and void, a voice he's never used with me before.

     "I use my phone plenty, but only with the people who deserve a response from me." I tell him, speaking just as cooly to him.

     He eyes me up and down, before his eyes slide over to Jo and then back to me. "So what, they move into town and you're just gonna forget everything else and be a fucking bitch to me?"

     "Maybe you should walk away." Jo says in a hard voice.

     "And maybe you should shut the hell up." Denny snaps back at her.

     I go back down the step I was on before and get in his face. "Don't speak to her like that."

     He wants to say something, but he's looking over my shoulder. I turn to see a group of girls exiting the bathroom, and the next thing I know, Denny's grabbing my arm and yanking me into the bathroom.

     I try to resist and grab Jo at the same time she's grabbing me, but Denny's too strong and slams the door behind us.

     Banging instantly starts on the door, and I hear Jo yelling at him. He's not paying any attention to her though, he's facing me with a look on his face that I can't decipher. The banging stops and I hear her yelling for Sutter and Jesse.

     "What are you doing, Denny?" I ask, trying to make my voice sound neutral, when in reality I feel like my whole body is shaking out of fear.

     "You didn't have to do this, you didn't have to show up here with him just because we had a fight."

    "I didn't do this because we had a fight."

     "Yes you did. You wanted to piss me off and make me jealous by being around him, well mission accomplished, but you can fucking stop now."

     "This isn't about making you jealous or pissing you off. We're broke up, I can hang out with whoever I want." I'm trying to back away from him slowly so he doesn't notice, but there's only so much space in this bathroom.

    "Then what is this about? You just done with me now that he's back, and you're gonna be a little slut and bounce from guy to guy." His voice is filled with hatred.

     I wince at the term 'slut', hating for anyone to ever be called that. "I'm not a slut." I tell him with gritted teeth.

     "No, you're just a user Lilly. You used me to forget the shit that happened with Sutter, and then forget about how much I was there for you after he left you!" He shouts the last part, and while he was talking he was walking closer into my space.

     I notice that his dark eyes are so blown out, that I can't even tell apart his irises and pupils. They're bloodshot as hell too, and I notice the fast up and down movements of his shoulders, from breathing so fast.

     "Are you coked our right now?" I ask.

     He smiles at me, almost looking evil. "Yeah, I sure am. Want some? You used to love doing a bump with me every now and then." He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a small bag full of white powder.

     "Denny, stop. This isn't you." I try to reason with him, when I realize I'm not sure what he's capable of doing when he's this messed up.

     Banging on the bathroom door makes me jump, and I hear a group of male voices yelling at Denny to open the door and let me out. I try to walk around him to open the door, thinking he'll stop now that people are trying to get in here.

    But he pushes me back and cages me in the way with his hands on either side of my head. "I don't think so, bitch. It's my turn to use you." 

    "What are you talking ab-" But I don't finish, because Denny is plastering his lips of mine and grabbing my face roughly.

     I'm instantly pushing back on his chest and protesting into his mouth. He keeps trying to stick his tongue in my mouth, but I have my lips clamped shut so tight that he can't.

     I finally turn my head away, and start trying to use my hands and legs to kick him off of me. My attempts are futile though, and not even affecting him. He starts using his hands and trying to stick them down my shirt, and down my pants. At this point, I'm scared as hell he's going to try and start raping me.

     I start screaming as loud as I can, and fighting with everything I have in me. Anytime I get any leverage though, he just throws me back against the wall with his body weight.

     Finally, I hear the sound of wood cracking, and then a tumble of male bodies fall into the bathroom with us.

     Jesse is the first one up, and he grabs Denny by the back of his shirt, swings him around, and then slams his face into the granite top of the sink. Blood spurts out of his nose, but no one cares.

    Sutter gets up next and rights him up on his feet, before delivering another blow to his nose, and knocking him into the bathtub, and pulling the shower curtain down with him. All the other boys jump in then too and start yanking him out of the tub by his legs.

     Sutter comes over to me at the wall and grabs my face with his hands. "Are you okay? Did he touch you? What happened?" He's firing off question after question.

     "Please just get me out of here." I tell him, not wanting to see what they do to Denny next.

     He wastes no time then, grabbing my hand and rushing me out of the bathroom. Everyone in the party is crowded around the bathroom watching the scene go down, and audible gasps are heard the whole time Sutter is leading me down the stairs.

     Jo is all of the sudden behind me, clasping onto my hand and running with us through the house. "I can't drive Sutter, I drank too much."

    "I only had three beers, we'll be fine."

    We get to the car, and he helps me in the backseat, and Jo slides in next to me. As soon as the door slams shuts behind me, I let out a sob that I had been holding in, not wanting to break down in front of everyone in that party.

     Jo gently takes my shoulder and pulls me across her lap, rubbing her hand along my hair.

     Sutter cranks the car up and we drive home, no other sound in the car except my tears.

  ••••

    We get back their house without trouble, and Sutter helps me up the stairs to his room. He leaves me to get changed and says he's going to grab an ice pack.

     I change into one of his T-shirt's, and then crawl under his sheets, letting my body absorb the feeling of safety. I haven't stopped shaking since we left that house.

     He comes back in the room, and immediately changes too, climbing under the sheets next to me. "Can I hold you?"

     I nod my head, and roll my body into his, loving the way it feels when his arms wrap around me.

     "I'm sorry, I should have been there. I should have stopped it."

     "You couldn't have known he was going to do that." My voice is hoarse from all the crying.      "Still, I saw him come into the party. I should have been watching for you, I should have known he would sought you out like that." I can hear in his words just how much he's beating himself up over this.

     "You can't blame yourself for this. The only person who is to blame is him."

     "Please tell me what happened, it's killing me not to know if he hurt you."

     Not ready to talk about it yet, I give him the best version I can. "He was just talking at first, pissed off that I came with you. He started accusing me of stuff and calling me names. Then he tried to kiss me, and started touching me. You guys busted the door down seconds later."

     I hear Sutter let out a deep breath, and when I look over at him, he has his eyes closed, his face red with anger. "I could literally kill him and not blink a fucking eye right now."

     "He was messed up on coke."

    He turns to look at me. "That doesn't excuse what he did."

     "I know it doesn't, I'm just saying. He wasn't in his right mind. The person I saw tonight wasn't the Denny I've always known. Something is really wrong with him."

     "His dads sick." Sutter says after a couple minutes of heavy silence.

    "What do you mean?" I ask, not understanding what he's saying.

     "His Dad has cancer that's spread everywhere in his body, according to his doctor he has less than two months to live from now."

     I gasp and feel my heart drop. "How could I not know this?"

     "He's not telling anyone. His mom is the one who told me the night I came looking for you. But even with that, that doesn't mean he should get away with what he did to you, Lilly. It's really not okay."

     "I can't even think about doing anything about it right now. I just need to sleep and forget everything, shut my brain off." I can't deny the sick feeling in my heart at knowing that Denny's Dad will more than likely me dead soon.

     I don't have parents that love me enough to understand what it would be like to lose one, but I lost Annie, and if it's anything like that pain, I can't even begin to imagine it happening to someone like Denny.

    Someone who used to be really smart, and fun. Someone who used to smile all the time.

    "Let's go to sleep, baby." Sutter says, and I'm happy he doesn't say anything about me going to the room that's supposed to be mine.

     I can't sleep in their guest room, because it used to be Annie's old nursery. The thought of going in there makes me physically sick. I've slept in Sutter and Jo's rooms only, and will sleep in the bonus room if that ever becomes an issue.

     Before I close my eyes though, Sutter's door cracks open with a soft knock. I'm worried it's his mom at first, but see that it's just Jo when she walks through the threshold.

     "Can I sleep with y'all?" She asks softly.

     "Yes." I tell her.

    She climbs over Sutter, and comes to lay on the other side of me, closest to the wall.

     And laying in the middle of this bed, with these amazing siblings on either side of me who have loved me more than I ever deserved, I realize just how hard it would be to lose either of them too.

    It would be like losing a limb, losing something that's a part of you. And I can't help but sympathize with Denny, and hope he made it out of that party okay tonight.

     I scooch down the mattress a little, feeling myself being engulfed on each side by Sutter and Jo. And feeling safer and more whole, even after the night we experienced together.