Part Twenty

Nathan and I stumbled through the door, our lips locked and fingers entwined. He slammed the door shut behind him and moved us back towards the sofa. I stopped him by lifting a hand to his chest and gently pushing him back;

"Take it slow, okay?"

"Yeah, sorry" He smiled, biting down on his lip.

I sat down on the sofa, still holding on to his hand and pulling him down next to me. He smiled, liking the fact that i was taking control. He crashed his lips to mine. Suddenly everything else was blocked out, all i could feel was this lust for him. The graze of his hand on my thigh was quickly becoming unbearable and his kisses more urgent.

We were soon slumped against the cushions. My heart pounded with nerves, although i could barely believe this was happening. I hadn't thought of Nathan in that way, not for a long time and i suppose it was a surprise that this would ever happen. He broke away and asked;

"You alright? You seem a bit tense"

"No, i'm fine" I smiled back, nodding. Though i wasn't especially sure out of the two of us who i was trying to convince the most.

"You're not. We can wait, i don't mind"

"Really?"

"Of course" He leant back on his knees and pulled me up with him. He laughed at the sight of my messed up hair and the flush that was quickly growing from the neck upwards. "Better sort yourself out before you go to Max's"

"I suppose" I got up and fluffed my hair and straightened out my top. 

I looked around the room, it was hard to not just stand and stare at Nathan. His hair was a mess, his lips a little red from the kisses and i could see him busily fiddling with his hands for a distraction.

"Wanna go for a walk?" I suggested. Being in his apartment would never work. It was too easy to fall into something we wouldn't be able to return from.

"Um, sure" He smiled.

"Come on then" I furrowed my brow, confused as to why he wasn't getting up.

His face turned a beetroot red and he gave me a knowing look. 

"Oh... I see" I winked. "I'll go make us a cup of tea each and we should be able to go in like 20 minutes. Right?"

"Yeah, course. I'll just um, go to the toilet" He excused himself. I  stifled a giggle as he awkwardly walked off.

I felt like a fool to have got in so deep so quickly but then again, it was Nathan. He'd never do anything to hurt me. Not intentionally anyway. I chuckled to myself as i threw two tea bags into two mugs and added the boiling water. I caught a glimpse of myself in the kettle's mirror-like metal. I looked different. Like the old me had disappeared.

Now and then i'd catch myself in the mirror looking scared, young and worried. I'd see it everytime, in my eyes. They were the give away. No matter how big the smile on my face, the sadness in my eyes said something different. Now, it was gone. Completely. And i felt 100% happy with my happiness.

I took the teas over to the sofa and put them on the table then sat back on the sofa, staring at the lounge door willing for Nathan to come back and kiss me again.