fifteen. rotten

fifteen˚༺⋆♱⋆༻˚↳ rotten ↲

─── ❝ 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡 ❞ ───

I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE FEELING of being immersed in water, hovering only inches beneath the surface, in which I could still sense beams of light shining through the colored glass windows. My fingers pinched my nose together as a firm, roughened hand clasped around mine, pulling me back to the surface.

I took in a breath of air, blinking away the water droplets blocking my vision near the bases of my eyelashes. I could then clearly see my family with wide smiles. My little brothers, my proud parents.

This was the day I had surrendered my faith, giving my all to the Lord, just as my parents had wished upon me. My commitment had been sealed this day, and I was happy. So, so happy to just belong.

God had a plan for me, I was told of this all those years I had withstood sitting uncomfortably on wooden pews, a bible in my lap. My whole life was created in the name of his plan, which is why I now wonder why he abandons me after everything. I wasn't sculpted from his very hands only to be made with countless flaws; a leg that could barely hold me upwards without pain, and a sense of cowardliness that had gotten people I cared about hurt, and worse, killed.

My dad had fallen victim to being one of these people, as he was left behind by the officers to keep me alive. And now, Cyn. I watched that rotter take her down.

'God's Plan', it was laughable now.

The city was a ways back by now, the girl I had left behind now belonging to the unrested, too. I felt a layer of acid ease down my throat each time I thought back to the way she'd been brought down. The rotter hunched over her body, its teeth sinking down into what must have been her face. There wasn't enough time for me to save her. It was coming up the steps behind her when I called out, but I was unable to do anything else, as the other rotters had come up on me. I was forced to enter the building without her.

The man beside me tapped his pointer finger on the wheel. "She really dead?" His gruff voice spoke, breaking the prolonged silence at last, with his quiet tone.

Daryl. He was intense, to say the least. My first impression had been brutal. I had taken his and the woman, Carol's, weapons leaving them to fend off a group of rotters on their own. I had felt really awful about it, but they both had two working legs, and I didn't. I needed weapons to face the dead. They could outrun them.

Even after Daryl had caught up to me and taken the weapons back — he'd chosen to help me. I mentioned the hospital, and he'd asked about a blonde and brunette. It was then that I learned not only Beth, but Cyn had also known these people. Though, at different times, since the two girls didn't know one another until Grady.

The image of being in that building, telling them that Cyn was dead, flashed back into my mind. I relayed that Beth was alive, but it didn't exactly brighten their expressions over the loss of the dark haired girl. They seemed to mourn this greatly.

"Beths' still out there." I remember Daryl saying, changing the topic before he dwelled on it for too long. "Let's get her."

In the city, we went through with his command. Carol led us out of the building, Daryl helping me walk. My leg was getting worse as time went on. Without pain meds, I'd been unable to move. It was only getting worse as time went on.

The Carol had opened the door and ran out.

In an instant, the cars I had just escaped from, pulled up without warning. Hitting the breaks too late, the vehicle collided with Carol. Officer O'Donnell and Alvarado lifted her into the car.

Daryl tried to run out of the building, but i'd begged him not to. I'd told him that they were going to take her and fix her up at the same place Beth was at, and that we'd be able to get them both back. After that, the car began reversing, and we'd taken off towards the other exits.

After this, both him and I rigged up an abandoned U-Haul to drive back to his camp. He said we'd need the others help. The same camp we pulled into, this very second. It was a church, something I hadn't seen since the outbreak.

Churches like this once meant so much to me. Now—it only looked like a soulless building.

"I'm sorry." I replied, with nothing better to say. My fingers rested on the bridge of my nose, placing pressure on the sensitive bone. "She's gone."

He mumbled out a grunt, putting the large truck into park. He just sat there, digesting reality. "She was just a kid. Grew on us real quick. We've been keeping hope she'd return. A boy and I have been out searching for her. He's going to be crushed."

There it was again: The twinge of guilt climbing in my chest. It ate away at my throat. It burned an awful amount. I thought I might cry in front of this man if I heard another word about how loved she was.

I'd only know her for about two days, and she'd become something of a friend. Maybe even one of the best I'd ever had. She wanted me to find my family. She wanted to best for me. Not many people these days had that kindness left.

He looked to me now, most likely noticing the water lining my eyes. "We got things to do. Get a move on."

Climbing out, he shut his door, slinging the crossbow over his shoulder before spitting a wad of chew onto the grass. I watched him walk off towards the church, where others waited outside for his arrival.

I leaned against the seat, rubbing the nape of my neck and releasing the air my lungs had been withholding. The car felt hot, the air sticky and wet. Perhaps it was my own temperature. It felt like I could burst from the insides. Like a piece of squished, rotten fruit.

I wiped my forehead, then unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the vehicle. God—the air smelled so different than Grady, or the city. No bleached aroma, or decay. I could smell pine and wood. Birds chirped in the trees like they didn't know a thing about death. A few whizzed down through the branches, singing a quiet song.

The immediate sound of pounding took me away from this scenery as I looked to the holy building, many busybodies installing reinforcements. Wooden planks had been hammered across the windows. Pipe organs usually used for pianos, stood upright near the doors as spike traps for rotters.

It was a sight I hadn't seen before, but had no effect on my religious side. The remains of my beliefs had faded long since, leaving me to feel nothing but deceived. My whole life I had believed in something so strongly, only for it to quickly be torn away in the years to come. It made me wonder, deep down, who I really was without 'God'. More importantly, I questioned if he really ever did change me, or I only envisioned the outcome I wished to have.

"Rick Grimes." A man spoke to me as he walked close, extending a hand forward.

I took it. "Noah."

"Daryl tells me Beth is alive in Atlanta, Carol too. Grady Memorial?"

I nodded in conformation, "She's alive. I think I know how we can get them back."

Rick looked from the radiating sun, to Daryl, then me again. "How do you know it's gonna' work? We cant be loosing more people than we already have."

That was a good question. One I didn't have the answer to.

"I don't." I cleared my throat. "But if you care about these people like I care about Beth, the least we can do is try."

The leader nodded, thinking quietly to himself before turning sideways. "I need to think." He stopped. "What about a younger girl with long dark hair, you seen her?"

"She's the reason I'm alive." I found the courage to speak. "Saved me in more ways than one."

He bowed his head slightly, attempting to understand my words.

"She's dead." Daryl made it clear to him. "She was at Grady, now she's dead."

Rick breathed out. He angled his body away, looking down at the ground, and nodding before heading back into the church. Without so much as another word.

The word spread around. . .and fast. I heard her name, and Beth's, being lowly spoken between almost every individual. All I could do was bide my time, and help with their reinforcements. If I stopped for a moment, I feared I'd think too hard about the deceased girl. About how her face must look, all torn apart and bloodied. About how I didn't even have the chance to put her down the honorable way, and that she'd be walking the streets forever.

Rick eventually made a final decision to bring the members Sasha, Tyresse, Daryl, and I with him. He wanted the others to stay here, in safety.

I stood near a younger boy who was more hostile with his movements, swearing under his breath each time he made a slight mistake. He would pound heavily on his plank with the hammer, before throwing the few that he had broken, onto the ground with a clatter. He never once looked at me, up until Rick was loading the truck, when I was called over.

The boy then came to a stop with the hammer. He spoke my name and I turned to face him. I couldn't tell what he was feeling. Anger? Disappointment? Sadness? Maybe all of it. I gathered this was the boy Daryl had mentioned went out looking for Cyn with him. They must have been good friends.

His eyes held so much loss. "You saw it happen? Watched her go down?"

He stepped away from the board he was previously nailing against, looking me in the face.  He held his hammer lowly in his hand, like his spirit was too crushed to lift the thing any higher.

"Was it quick?" He said before my answer, flicking his hat back from completely shading his eyes. "Don't lie."

He had to have known it wasn't. He knew exactly what it was like, as I was sure he'd seen one of his own meet the same fate, right in front of him. He had to have seen the horrors at least once before, to understand the weight of his question. It's why I couldn't tell him something he would believe, because it wasn't what he was seeking. He needed me to lie to him. He couldn't handle the truth of it all.

"Painless." I assured him, my voice weak with sadness. "She didn't suffer. It happened too fast."

His head went down, and he shook it just like his father had. He then turned and began walking back to the window, and I started towards the truck. And it was then when I felt the weight in my pocket. My hand reached into the opening, pulling out the silver ring that had been stored in her bag of personal items upon admittance.

I had a habit of taking important confiscated tokens and returning them to their rightful owners. It was the easiest way to make friends, at Grady.

I had kept it, all this time. I never got the chance to give it back. She should have at least had the right to die with it on. Now, it was just a token of her death. I didn't want it anymore. I couldn't be reminded of it anymore.

I thought about throwing it into the woods, before I briefly looked behind me.

I walked back to the boy, holding it between my fingers. He took it, studying the shiny metal. It reflected back into his eyes as he twisted it back and forth. An expression of slight hurt came across him—then emptiness. He hesitantly nodded at me, before carefully putting it in his own pocket.

At the time, I wasn't aware of how long he would come to hold that object, keeping it safe. I didn't think that he would later find a piece of twine, and secure it in a double knot to his belt loop, only where he could see it.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·2,207 words • 12:39 am

as a lil refresher, the last noah saw of her was when the walker came up behind her and knocked her down. he had to enter the building without her, as there were dozens after them. he thought she was dead but that bitch ain't.

also real quick tytytyty SO much for 11k veiws? that's completely insane???? mwa mwa mwa! i'm baking myself a cake.

sincerely yours,𝓜 ᥫ᭡.