Chapter 20

I Love You Brey... Don't ever let me go.

That was the last thing she had said to him. They last thing she had managed to say before she left him for good. It hurt. It hurt so much that words couldnt even explain. It was now the day after and he had never felt so lost in his life. He hadn't slept, eaten or talked to anyone since it happened, but worse of all he hadn't stopped crying. Everything around him reminded him of her, but he knew she was in a better place. As much as he didnt want to let he go he knew he had to.

Right now he sat alone in the park on one of the swings as his tears streamed his face. He looked next to him at the empty swing and imagined her sat there smiling back at him. He put his head in his hands just cried more. No one, but her would know how to deal with him at this point, but she wasn't with him anymore. He got off the swing and just sat on the floor. The cold December weather surroundong him. He felt the presence of someone so he looked up to find Ashley stood there. She reached her hand out and he took it. She helped him to his feet where she bought him into an embrace.

Drake: Why her Ashley. Why her.

She just held him in the embrace as he cried on her shoulder.

Ashley: I don't know drake, I really don't and I wish all this wasn't true I really do but we're gonna have to accept the fact that shes gone now. She finally at ease. She doesn't have to fight anymore

He started crying even more before detaching himself from her and wiping his tears. She wiped her own before proceeding with the message she had originally come to tell him.

Ashley: We're having her memorial tonight, at the beach. Just like she wanted. And I'm sure out of all of us, she would've wanted you there the most.

He nodded.

Drake: what time

Ashley: we're gonna be there around 6 so whenever you're ready

He nodded again. She bought him into another hug of which he accepted before they parted and went their separate ways. He continued his walk around the city until he made it to carols. She was also rejecting visitors, but he knew she wouldn't turn him down. He used the spare key to get in and found her sat in the living room also drowning in her tears. He walked over to her and bought her into an embrace and just sat beside her.

Carol: She's gone Aubrey. She's actually gone

He just held her as they cried together.

Drake: its okay. She's in a better place now. She didn't deserve to fight anymore. She had held on for so long

Carol: I know. But I just can't deal with it. I can't bare the pain I'm feeling right now. Nothing has ever felt worse.

Drake: Shhhh, We're gonna be fine. We have to be, for her. She made us promise that we'd be okay

-

Drake was sat on the floor in nickis room. Hen just took in all of his surroundings. Everything was neatly where it belonged. Just like she had left it the day he had last taken her out. Her bed was made up with all the stuffed toys he had got her lined up in height order. He chuckled to himself at hers little OCD ways. His eyes trailed up and looked a over her bed where he found the canvas he had got her for their 8 years of friendship. The picture of them printed clearly onto it. He could still remember the day perfectly and all of the events that had taken place. He found one of her cardigans on the floor next to him. He picked it up and just held it in his hands letting the material glide through his fingers. He held it close to him as the tears started again. He inhaled deeply to try and stop himself before he stood and folded the cardigan. He placed in in her wardrobe among all her other clothing. He took another look around and just broke down in tears. As much as he tried to convince himself that he was okay, he knew he wasn't. He wanted her back so bad, but nothing could be done about it. She was gone.

She lay in his arms feeling weaker than she had ever felt before. He kissed her forehead and ran his hands through her hair.

Drake: I love you Nicki. I love you so much. Always remember that. If I could give you my life right now I would. You don't deserve to be leaving us all like this.

Nicki: its okay. I love you Brey... Don't ever let me go

The memory replayed in his head like on of his worst nightmares. It had happened less than 24 hours ago but he felt like it had been haunting him for years. There was nothing anyone could have said or done to him that would've given him the mental or physical preparation for that one moment. He pulled himself together before walking out of her room and heading back downstairs.

-

Drake arrived at the beach and found everyone else there. As well as his normal crew, they had been joined by Lauren, Candi, Sherika, Calum and Jay.  He found an empty spot in the circle which had clearly been awaiting him. He sat down and crossed his legs before putting his elbows on his knees and sitting like everyone else to await the first one to speak.

Noah: Well We're all here now, and we all know why we're here. I could go on to give a massive speech about how great of a person she was but we all know she was better than that. There are no words to explain the type of person she was, but we all still hold it in our hearts. If anyone would like to say anything then go ahead, don't let me stop you

It was silent for a little while before drake broke the silence.

Drake: You know, they say when you loose someone you love, its like they take a part of you with them, You don't known how to breath without them, or how to even conjure up the energy to wake up with the morning. See I had always wondered what they meant by that. I never quite understood what they meant by that little phrase, but right now...right now I understand exactly what is meant. Not only can I not function without her but I can't even go anywhere or do anything without thinking what if. What if it wasn't her. Why did it have to be her. What had she done that made her deserve to leave us all so soon.

By this point he was in tears again.

Drake: She was such a good person. There was not one person that you could name me that would tell you that she wasn't a nice person. She was so friendly, so sociable but it had to be her. There would not be a day that would go by that her smile wouldn't make someones day and I know this because everyday her smile would make my day. Her laugh her voice her smile was everything I woke up in the morning for. There'd be days where I would wake up to find her already sat at the edge of my bed waiting for me to wake up so we could get on with the course of her day. Even just her charisma was such an inspiration to me.

He took a second to pull himself together so he could continue.

Drake: I loved her more than words can let you explain and right now I feel so lost that its unexplainable. Like the world has just stopped annum stuck in a nightmare that I have no way out of, no matter what I do. Its been just over 24 hours and it hurts. It hurts soo much

He broke down in tears as he put his head in his hands. Ashley and Courtne both got up and went and gave him a hug. By this point everyone was crying. No one was strong enough to hold it in anymore. Drake had always been the strongest of them all, but now he felt worthless. He felt beyond weak and there was nothing he could do about it.

-

Everyone was still sat around the campfire. They had stayed up the whole night, telling stories and reminiscing on the times they had had with Nicki; All sharing laughs and joke, just like she had want. There had been a few tears here and there but they were expected.

Drake stood up and brushed the sand from his jeans. He walked to the shore as everyone watched him. He just looked out at the waves and watxhed as tgey crashed a little infront of him. He stood there and thought of the last time he had stood there with Nicki.

Nicki: I love you brey

Drake: I love you too nic

He placed a kiss on her forehead before tightening the grip on her hand as she did the same.

Drake: come on. one last thing for the night

He was drawn out of his daydream by someone putting their arm around his waist. He looked round to find it was Lauren. He gave her a small smile before they shared an embrace and just looked out at the sea. Not long later everyone else joined them and they all watched the sunrise on the early winters morning...

Don't Cry Because Its Over... Smile Because It Happened.

-

I've never cried so much... Not even at the fault in our stars. But anyway. We're done. I might give you a little epilogue, but I'll see...

Much Appreciated

_PaintedPyramids