III

It's dark now. My favorite time of the day. The world comes alive after dark. During the day everyone mills about, but at night people live. At least I do.

I slide a pair of black skinny jeans up my legs and put a Fall Out Boy tank top on. I don't care how I look, I'm not going to a party to meet or impress people, I'm going to distract myself, even if it's only temporary.

I text Ashton and ask for the address. Apparently it's a rager which I don't mind - the more the merrier. The more people, the more I blend in and fall into the background.

After almost getting into a few accidents and about 15 minutes later I pull onto the street of the address Ashton gave me. I really shouldn't drive in LA. I'm a public hazard. I search without avail for a parking spot. I can't find one and end up parking about three blocks away.

There's a shit load of people here. And the house is the picture perfect California home - huge and beautiful. I can't even begin to imagine how much it must've cost.

Before I get out of the car I try to smooth my hair with my hands. I give up because it's not cooperating, it'll be an even bigger mess by the end of the night, guaranteed. 

My chuck taylors smack against the sidewalk as I walk to the house, my attention focused on my phone as I text Ashton.

Jackie (22:00):*I'm here.*

Ashton (22:01):*Ok, I'll come to the front.*

Jackie (22:01):*Ok.*

I reach the front door and wait for Ashton to emerge. He does eventually and I follow him through the house. He knows his way around and I vaguely wonder if I've ever been to this house before and just don't remember it.

He leads me to the kitchen and shoves a red solo cup into my hand as he takes one for himself as well.

I take a sip of the liquid - beer. I hate beer. But does it really matter? Now is not the time to be picky, my subconscious snaps.

I tip the cup up and chug.

"Whoa, slow down there." I hear Ashton say as I grab another cup from the counter.

"You can't control me." I say jokingly and wink at him.

He rolls his eyes and giggles "You're gonna have fun tonight, aren't you?"

I nod, but the truth is I won't have fun. I'll just be content instead of miserable. I try to remember a time when I was able to have fun doing stuff like this but I can't remember any period of time in my life.

Even though I know it's completely unhealthy and probably dangerous, in this moment I do what I'm doing to escape reality. It's worked for me before.

About two hours and four solo cups later the world seems to be tilting and Ashton's face is blurring as he sits across from me in the backyard. We're sitting in lawn chairs and I'm staring down into my cup, swishing the yellowish liquid around while Ashton's talking to another girl.

I've been in my own world all night, thinking about the boy from school. I never think about people like this. I usually forget about them, dismissing them as more of a nuisance than an asset in my life which I know is stupid but I can't help it.

But not Calum.

Calum's different.

I lean my head back onto the chair and drift in and out of sleep despite the constant thump of blaring music radiating from the house.

I wake to wetness on my leg and Ashton chuckling at me. Then I look down to see my cup on the ground and realize I spilled what was left of my beer all over myself. "Damn it." I say under my breath then look up to Ashton who's stifling a laugh. "Shut up, Ash." I say to him as I stand and start toward the kitchen to wash myself.

I would go to the bathroom but I don't know where it is and I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm too drunk to talk to anyone right now. My brain-to-mouth filter disappears in the presence of liquor. Not that I really have a filter any other time, I suppose.

The kitchen's still jam packed. In my drunken stupor the people remind me of pigeons, flocking toward bread crumbs. But in this case the bread crumbs were substituted for beer. Same, same, I think to myself. I finally make it to the sink and grab a stray napkin from the counter top.

So here I am, standing in the middle of a random kitchen, trying to wash excess beer from my jeans.

What am I doing with my life?

I give up trying to wash it out because I'm just making a bigger mess by adding water to the mix. When I toss the paper towel into the trash bin I look up and lock eyes with someone. But not just anyone - him.

Calum.

Everyone else seems to fall away once I see him. We hold each other's gaze as he walks over to me casually.

I lean back against the counter to stabilize myself. I really shoudn't have drank as much as I did. My head's all fuzzy but I need to think clearly, just for a little bit. Just while he's around me.

"Hey." he says loudly so as to be heard over the noise of music as he stands close to me. He towers over me and I suddenly feel small.

"Hi." I respond, not knowing what to say to him. It briefly crosses my mind that I could tell him how I haven't been able to forget about him. But ultimately decide against it because I don't trust myself with the alcohol running through my body right now.

"What brings you here?" he asks.

I raise my eyebrows and hold up my now empty cup in response and he chuckles.

A/N: Is anybody reading this? I hope so! I'll be posting the next chapter soon. Please vote and comment! It'd mean the world to me!