I

I walk down the stairs in my house to get to the kitchen taking two steps at a time.

As I walk I mentally curse myself for what is probably the fifth time today alone about how I never seem to fit in anywhere anymore. I also praise myself for having the willpower to even get out of bed this morning.

My mom's in the kitchen making what smells like bacon but I'm not sure, my senses are all screwed up. I don't see my dad in his usual spot so I guess he already left for the day.

"What are you doing today?" my mom asks. She's slurring and her eyelids are far too heavy and slow. I groan because I've told her so, so, so many times before but she refuses to memorize my schedule, simple as it may be.

"College then home. I'll be back later." See? It's really not that complicated. At all.

I pass by her as I take long strides out the back door of our small house. My hair's a mess, fresh from sleep. I don't have any makeup on, and I'm suddenly not hungry, not that I was to begin with, really. I guess my desire to escape my mom's inquisition about today's activities outweighs my primary needs like eating.

Since I left out the back I have to walk around the house, luckily I grabbed my keys on my way to the kitchen. I learned a long time ago to always keep my keys with me - never know when you might need to leave in a hurry. I slide into my car and put it in reverse, backing out of the driveway in a less than safe manner. I failed my driving test twice for a reason, I suppose.

The drive is a blur comprised of cars weaving in and out of freeway lanes, commercial buildings whizzing by and the loud blare of music playing from the radio.

I get to school and sit where I always do in class - second row from the front, middle table then listen to the teacher rant on about momentum and light waves. About five minutes into class I zone out. My eyes move back and forth across the room, following the teacher as he paces in front of the blackboard, droning on, but I don't hear a word he says. Even if I paid attention I would have no idea what he's even talking about but I don't feel bad, I'm not the only one. No one else understands it either, the only difference is that some people act like they do. I'm not one of those people because I couldn't care less about physics to be honest.

Class ends and I get into my car but I don't leave yet. The tears start without warrant, but on their routine schedule regardless of reason. So I sit and I cry like a kid, but not because my mom won't let me watch cartoons or because I can't have candy from the pharmacy, but because my life is so screwed up and I figure its better to cry around people I don't know than around those that I do, so I don't care if teachers or other students see me, just as long as my parents don't.

I stay like that for longer than I should, longer than is probably healthy. My eyes are starting to burn and my nose is running uncontrollably.

Just as I put the car into reverse somebody taps on my window and I feel like such a complete idiot for crying like this.

I may not care if people see me, but I absolutely hate confrontation of any sort which is kind of ironic given my blunt nature.

Maybe I'm not blunt, maybe I'm just mean, I think to myself.

I reluctantly begin to roll it down, not wanting to be asked "Are you okay?" or "Can I do anything for you?" ever again, I've heard enough of that to last a lifetime from teachers, school counselors, or just passerby's, all of which are obviously only asking to ease their own guilt.

But I shift the car back into park and roll it down, and its the old kind that you have to crank the lever, so its awkward and takes longer than it should since my body is still shaking from what are now dry sobs.

I finally get the window down then lift my eyes to see who's bothering me, and I think my jaw drops, but I'm not sure. What I do know is that if I had a mental jaw, it definitely would've dropped.

The boy standing in front of me is quite possibly the most beautiful human being I've ever seen. Then I quickly wonder if I just had some sort of inner revelation that boys are amazing or if he's actually as beautiful as he seems to me, but I ultimately decide on the latter. 

"Do, uh, do you know where the science building is by any chance?" he asks as I sniffle. Stupid tears.

"Yeah, if you follow that path then turn left its the building at the end." I say pointing.

Then he leans down so he's eye level with me and says "Can you walk me? I hate asking strangers for directions when I get lost." at which point my inner bitch makes her not-so-long-awaited debut and I say "So what the hell did you just ask my blubbering self for directions for, then? I've never met you, so I'd say I fall under the stranger category, wouldn't you?"  

He seems unaffected by my attitude as he replies with "Meh, you looked approachable enough." and a smirk graces his lips as he shrugs his shoulders.

So I slowly open my door to walk with him to the science building. 

But why? I hate people, I remind myself as I force my feet to touch the asphalt. I get out of my car and try my best to make my legs strong and to limit their shaking.

Damn sobs.

Damn kneecaps - stop shaking and be still!

He offers me his hand to shake and I do, which makes me uncomfortable because I'm still completely bewildered by how unfathomably beautiful he is.

"I'm Calum, but everybody just calls me Cal." he says, but I just nod without responding so he pushes further saying "And you are?"

Oh, God - stupid, stupid, stupid, I'm so stupid.

"Uh, um, uh, I'm uh, I'm Jackie." Yep, definitely stupid.

He laughs and my cheeks warm, I must be blushing bad. I never blush. Not anymore, anyway.

A/N: Comment and vote, please! Thank you so, so, so, so (is that enough 'so's? I don't think so, so here's another so. So many 'so's.) much for reading, you don't know how much I appreciate it.