Darkness beneath the surface

Thor had once again returned back to Asgard hoping to find out more about your legacy. You still remained in the tower. It was extremely uncomfortable to say the least. Tony ignoring you completely, Steve visited some times, but nothing truly felt like it used to, it was hard to fall right back where you left things, you loved him, lost him, mourned him, finally got close to moving on, and now he's back. Loki wouldn't even look you in the eyes let alone say a word to you. It was complicated.

You walk down the hallway to the kitchen, it's awfully quiet this morning, which means it's probably just you and Tony around. And as long as you're alone together he stays down in his lab all day.

"Jarvis is Tony here?" You ask as you sit down.

"He's in the laboratory, do you want me to give him a message miss Jones?"

You consider it for a moment but he would probably ignore your attempts.

"No that's okay" you say quietly as you walk to the fridge looking for something to eat, then finally you get an idea.

"Jarvis has he eaten anything today?" You ask.

"Not that I'm aware of"

You grab some ingredients, growing together a bowl of pancake batter, scrambling it until it looks cooked. You plate it with strawberries, and some syrup. Then you head down the lab, he's blasting back in black on the speakers. Still working on improving his suit. You enter the passcode as the door opens.

Tony turns his head to look at you, he sighs heavily before turning down the music.

"I made breakfast" you smile awkwardly. As you clear out some space, setting his breakfast down.

"Not hungry" Tony scoffs, continuing to work on his suit, barely looking at you.

"You should really eat something" you say quietly.

"You should really learn to respect my privacy, but clearly both are not happening, go make yourself useful somewhere you're wanted" Tony says firmly, slamming his fist against the table. You flinch dropping your cup of tea. His expression softens as he realizes.

"I'm Sorry.. I'll clean it up" you stammer, as you rush to the sink grabbing some paper towels.

"Don't you'll just make a bigger mess by cutting yourself" Tony sighs, grabbing the paper from your hand.

You stand in silence looking down as he cleans another mess up after you. "It looks good" you say looking over at the suit.

"Thanks" he mutters coldly.

"Have you thought about making it accessible to other people?" You ask, mostly to fill out the awkward pause, but you also missed working with him on projects.

"What do you mean?" Tony questions.

"What if you could manipulate it remotely with subcutaneous chips implanted on your arms so that you could control the individual parts that assemble, one by one, around you body. This feature would also allow you to lock the suit onto another person" you explain studying the bracelet he has made for himself. Tony looks at you shockingly. "What I know stuff" you smirk subtly.

"That's actually not a horrible idea" he says, as he stands beside you looking down at the paper as you sketch a prototype. You try to hide your smile, but this is exactly what you missed about him, the constant inspiration you gave to one another.

"And over time you could possibly have a whole army of suits, all controlled by you. Just by the use of a simple headset. That way you wouldn't even have to be there to fight" you say enthusiastically.

"It's brilliant" Tony scoffs as he takes the paper, adding it to his board of ideas. Writing in bold red letters MARK XLII : JONES. you smile softly looking down at the ground. "You're not completely useless"

"Guess not" you say quietly. "Can I ask you something?" You ask hesitantly.

Tony exhales deeply, before he sits down in front of you. "Sure"

"What happened to you?" You ask softly. Tony grins lightly, leaning towards the back of the chair. "One day I was watching the news and bang you're a superhero"

"Well that's not how I remember it.." Tony sighs. "I remember getting kidnapped by the only family I had left, building a suit, watching a man and millions of Americans die by the weapons i had created to keep them safe" As he explains you sit quietly, not daring to look him in the eyes. "I had lost everything first the love of.." he trails off. "First you, then everything else. And now I'm just trying to do better, create a future worth living for" He adds.

"I'm so sorry I had no idea" you mutter softly.

"How would you... you left me remember" Tony sighs deeply.

"Right"

There's a small pause where you just look at each other. Tony reaches out his hand placing a piece of hair behind your air. It sends shivers down you spine. His fingers lightly gracing over you chin.

"I should get back to work" Tony says, standing up quickly.

"Yeah and I should get back to Loki" you say trying to shake his touch of you. But it stained like a shattered glass of wine on a white cloth. "Eat something" you say quietly before walking away. You turn around just before you walk up the stairs catching a glimpse of his eyes lingering into yours.

You feel a sharp pain in your chest as you walk to Lokis room. It was like you were strangers all over again. And out of the few you let into your heart, he was the hardest one to let go. You turned him into the one thing he didn't want to be, just because you couldn't dare to get Hurt again.

You open the door to Lokis room, he's reading one of the books you've brought him. That's progress. He was resting his head against the soft cushions behind him. He looks up at you, and the room fills with silence.

"Can I come sit?" You ask nervously.

Loki simply nods his head softly, retuning his attention back on his book. Pride and prejudice. It was one of the first books you read when you came to Midgard. Mr. Darcy reminded you slightly of Loki. You lean you head closer towards him, reading with him.

You study his face closely, he looks better.. His eyes almost back to his deep emerald green color, the dark shadows fading slowly. Yet he still looked tired. Sorrowful.

"You look better" you finally say. "How are you feeling?" You ask.

Loki closes his book, but his eyes still looking away. "I'm fine" he says firmly.

"Are you sure?" You ask once more.

"You ask to many questions, ones you already know the answer to I presume" Loki sates. You had almost forgotten how well he knew you, and you him.

"I'm sorry" you stutter.

"What for?" Loki sighs. "Leaving or not coming back?"

"That's not fair you know it was your fathers doing, not my will" you blurt out, frustrated he would ever put the blame on you for leaving. Loki cringes at the word farther, if only he just opened up to you about him..

"I've always been able to tell what's on your mind, I could cast one look at you and expose all your darkest desires" he says. As he finally turns to look at you.

"And now?"

"Nothing, i don't know you anymore.. you're not my y/n" Loki sighs.

"I'm not trying to keep you out, I think we've both changed. It is simply not fair of you to buy the blame all on my shoulders alone" you say firmly. His words were like a sharp knife to the chest.

"I did nothing of that sort, I simply accepted what I truly am." Loki says coldly.

"And that is?"

"A king, born to rule" loki growls.

"Is that so?" You scoff. You honestly can't believe him right now.

"It is my birthright" Loki spits as he gets up.

"So that's what you want, to rule over us like we're nothing but servants to you?" You ask frustrated.

"Look at you.. so full of sentiment for people who don't even accept you for what you truly are.." Lokis voice grows darker and more eerie as he speak. With each step he takes you back away. Until you collide with the wall. "It's pathetic.. you are pathetic"

"Whatever happened to you that made you so cold?" You ask quietly, trying to hold back the tears forming in your eyes.

"I lost everything, now I'm taking everything"

You reach out your hand, resting it against his cheek. "You didn't loose me" you whisper softly.

"I did" Loki says coldly, stepping away from you. "You're not the woman I lost. She's at the bottom of that river"

You take a big step back, he's never talked to you like this before, the way he looks at you with nothing but anger and disgust makes you sick to your stomach. You feel afraid.

"Don't say things like that Loki" you plead him.

"Can't handle the truth anymore?" Loki snarls. "You're nothing to me, now get out of my face" Loki yells as he pushes you down to the floor. "Now that you're so fond of the midgardians, I'll make sure to treat you as one" Loki smirks darkly.!

You look up at him trying your best to hold back your cries, as you stumble outside the door. Leaning against the door frame. So much for progress...

You can't comprehend what's gotten over him, you had always been aware Loki had a dark side, but the side you saw today that wasn't dark, that was gruesome. He knew exactly what to say to hit you. As soon as you're alone t he tears fine streaming down your face. It's almost like you can't breathe. You want to believe he's in there so badly, he's not the same. If he only just let you in, showed you his pain. You would listen, perhaps even understand him. But he has closed himself off. There's nothing to do but let him be, hopefully he'll come around. You can't stand the thought of sending him back to Asgard, heaven knows what The king will do as soon as he hears about the ravage he's truly caused here on earth. You made a promise to Frigga once, keep the boys out of trouble. Guess you failed pretty miserably at that, but you can be sure you'll do anything in your power to fix whatever troubles he may have caused.

"You alright there miss?"