14. The Truth

Nikki's P.O.V.

1989

"Nikki, that little white boy is on the phone for you again," my grandmother grumbles walking into my room.

I look up and her and frantically shake my head.

"I don't wanna talk to him!! Tell him I'm not home, grandma!!"

"I have, but he keeps persisting."

"Ugh!!" I exclaim.

Marshall has been trying to call me for a whole week straight now and I've been blowing him off because I honestly can't stand even the thought of ever speaking to him ever.

I've been going to such great lengths to avoid him actually, that I've been straight up skipping going to school for a whole week now just so I wouldn't have to face him. And let me tell you, cutting class is very uncharacteristic of me, plus my grandparents would probably murder me once they realize I've been hanging at the mall instead of going to school for days now, but it's just that...

He hurt me so bad and I feel so stupid for ever believing him, I hate that he played me like that and I feel like everybody at school are probably laughing at me now too.

However, at this moment I realize also that I can't keep avoiding him forever, plus I can't let him and Kim straight up run me out of school, so I make a split decision right then and there.

"Okay you know what, hold on grandma, I will talk to him," I mumble, slowly crawling out of bed where I was literally laid up crying all day. I smooth down my sweatshirt and fix my hair as though Marshall could actually see me over the phone, because I refuse to be looking a hot mess when I talk to him, won't give him the satisfaction that he was able to do that to me.

"You young people these days," my grandmother continues grumbling at my back as I'm heading towards the living room where I snatch up the phone from it's hook. "Don't know why you ever thought it was a good idea to run around with some white kid, Nikki. Especially that one, he's clearly trouble."

I ignore her and press the phone to my ear. I wait for my grandmother to move out of earshot though because I don't need her all in my business like that.

"What do you want, Marshall?!" I then whisper yell into the receiver.

Only to then almost break down crying when I hear him sounding all pitiful at the other end of the line.

"Yo Nikki, thank you so much for finally talking to me and..."

"I don't need your sorry, Marshall," I cut him off. "What you calling me for, aren't you all laid up with Kim right now at y'all house?"

"What?! Nah Nikki, it's not even like that, I swear!! Me and Kim are done, I promise you baby!"

I almost cut off the circulation on my own fingers then from how furiously I begin to wrap the phone cord around my then in anger.

"Oh, you mean like how you were done with her the whole time you and I were together, but the whole time you were screwing her every night, Marshall?!"

There's a brief pause then he starts talking rapidly.

"Shit Nikki, I'm so sorry for bullshitting you like that, but I swear to fuck girl, that was only at the beginning when we first started going out!! I had cut her off eventually and that was why she was so mad and decided to tell you the truth. She's just fucking jealous baby, she can't stand to see me happy with another girl, and I was so happy with you!"

"Well obviously not happy enough, Marshall!!"

"Nah baby, trust me, I was happy with you. Wasn't you happy with me?"

Again, he sounds so pitiful that I almost feel bad for him. I almost feel like the bad guy for not giving him a second chance actually, because it looks like he's really genuinely so so sorry.

"Please let me make it up to you, Nikki, aight?"

Then I remembered once again the smug look on Kim's face when she told me how he continued to sleep with her even while he and I were together. And that he told her he was going to dump me for her, and that he was apparently bitching to her about me not being ready to have sex with him yet. Like, why would he tell her that?! It somehow makes me feel like he had betrayed me in more ways than one, and I feel so stupid for trusting him once again.

And I feel both sad and angry all over again.

I realize that I don't want anything to do with him.

But it doesn't seem like he would leave me alone though, because he keeps calling my house asking to speak to me and he is being so persistent that it dawns on me that maybe I need to show him just how DONE with him I really am.

So, I'm starting to think some really petty and messed-up thoughts in my head then and then I suddenly know what I have to do.

***

Marshall's P.O.V.

2003

Shit feels like déjà vu when me and the fellas all pile up inside of the studio in New York where they about to film the 106 & Park interview.

Well, technically we ain't the ones that are gonna be interviewed today, Nikki is.

Me and the guys all go to our dressing room before the show starts and we just sit there talking shit and passing around the blunt. Nikki is there with us too, but she keeps to herself, and Paul is currently talking to the producers.

Not long before we are all supposed to go in for the live taping of the interview, Free picks her head inside the dressing room and she greets us all. She eyes Nikki kind of curious like and then she gives me a weird look also and she leaves for her own dressing room where they are about to I guess put makeup on her face or whatever.

Eventually, this other makeup person or stylist or whatever is it they are called comes and gets Nikki as well, and she gives me a dirty look before walking out with him.

And weirdly enough, all I can think of at that moment is that she is looking good as hell. Fuck me, but she's fine as fuck.

It's crazy to me that I'm this fucking infatuated with her. I haven't seen her in years, and ain't even gonna front, I don't think I've ever thought about her once after the end of that school year when she had graduated and I got held back yet again in the 9th grade, causing me to drop out. My mother was practically kicking both me and Kim out of the house at that point, and Kim and I were left basically on some us against the world shit. Then a whole bunch of other shit happened, so yeah, it ain't like my mind was all on Nikki at all in those days.

And yet, from the moment she had walked back into my life a few months ago, she's all that I fucking think about. And you know what else, Paul is a fucking dick for saying all that shit about her on the plane. I'm a dick too though cause I should've just shut him down the moment he began talking reckless about her, don't know why I haven't.

Now I'm looking at her and all I want is another chance with her.

Oh, and also for her to not fuck me over during this interview.

I'm about to find out though that at least one of those things ain't meant to be at all...

Right before the show starts, we all get led up backstage while Nikki gets seated at the front of the stage with Free.

Nikki gets instructed by the producers how to act, where to look, where the light would be and shit like that.

I watch her closely and it honestly kind of amazes me that she is so calm right now. I mean, being a regular ass person and not a celebrity, I know damn well she ain't used to cameras being all stuck in her face like that, and yet she seems completely unfazed by it, and I find that impressive cause even I to this day feel somw type of way about having to be all up on display like that in front of a whole bunch of random ass people.

The show then starts and Nikki gets introduced to the public. Pictures get put up on screen of me and her hanging out caught by paps, and it makes me uncomfortable I ain't never tried to get caught up by them motherfuckers on purpose before.

Nikki is asked if she is the new lady in Eminem's life, to which she smirks and shakes her head, explaining to Free and to the audience that her and I are old aquientances that have recently got back in touch.

Free then pretends to speculate, coincidentally hitting the nail right on the head, and just like that it comes out that Nikki is the girl I used to date back in school.

"Oh so then you do exist," Free raises her eyebrows at Nikki then, checking her cue cards. "You see Nikki, the reason I say it like that is because a lot of people believed that Eminem had made up this whole story about him dating a black girl back when he was 16 years old to justify him making a certain song he was recently exposed for."

"Well, here I am, I'm as real as it gets, I guess," Nikki shrugs, smiling a deceptively sweet smile.

I start to feel like my palms are getting sweaty and I hate that feeling. I hate how much power she actually holds over me just now.

"Okay, so then I have a couple more questions for you. First of all, have you heard the song in question?"

"I have," Nikki replies coldly and her face is suddenly emotionless.

"Did you know that the song is supposedly about you?"

"Um... honestly? It's kind of hard to tell if it's about a specific person. He pretty much generalized all of us black women in it," Nikki replies, frowning.

I notice from the corner of my eye, Paul beginning to shift uncomfortably besides me cause this wasn't what Nikki was supposed to say at all.

"Were you shocked when you had heard it though?" Free then asks her.

"Oh, I was very shocked," Nikki replies, raising her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "Because to be fair, I've never seen that side of Marshall before."

"So, do you think he's really a racist or was he just hurt by how your guys relationship had turned out? Oh, and elaborate on that by the way if you can?"

"Well, no, I don't think Marshall is a racist at all," Nikki then sighs. "However," he face turns emotionlessly at all and she stares right at me standing back stage with a stone cold look on my face.

"I do find it rather odd that he's out here telling lies," she then suddenly concludes with a smirk playing against her lips, and I immediately feel Paul face palm himself.

Just then, the audience explodes, everybody is talking all at once and Free leans forward with a curious expression on her face.

"What is he lying about, Nikki?" She smiles, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, he's out here telling this story about how I had cheated on him back in those days, right?" Nikki smiles. "When in reality, I had started going out with another guy AFTER he and I were already broken up. And the reason WHY we had broken up in the first place, was because HE was actually the one that had cheated on ME," she points at herself all undignified like. "But then again listen, I do kind of see why he was so salty. Because I mean, the guy that I had dumped him for, it was well... D'Angelo Bailey."

The whole audience now goes even more wild and I slowly drag my hand down my face staring at Nikki with murder in my eyes.

"As in Brain Damage D'Angelo Bailey?" Free kind of giggles.

"Yep, that's the one. So I guess I can see why he was so butthurt, oh I'm sorry, can I use that word on TV? But yes, I can see why Marshall was upset with me, but then again, I really can't because we weren't even together anymore back then. I broke it off with him after I found out about his cheating ways. So you see, Free, Marshall really has no excuse for this Foolish Pride song or whatever it is called. Not that he ever had, really. But if anything, he had been the one to break MY heart, and not the other way around. But then, who even cares about that now, right? We were only 16 back then and it's some old high-school drama that we both should just put behind us at this point. Problem is, Marshall is way too petty for that. But then again, so am I," Nikki says as she smiles and winkes at me.

And I could honestly kill her ass right now!!

She did NOT need to put me on blast like that on national TV and now she's so fucking dead.

***

1989

After I had practically begged Nikki to speak to me for weeks now, she finally said she would see me.

She even said I could come to her house when her grandparents won't be there this afternoon.

I have no idea what that even means, maybe she not only forgave me but she wants to finally give me some since we are making up?

I ain't gonna lie, I make my way over there real fucking quick yo.

Only for fucking D'Angelo to step out on the front porch, fixing his clothes.

Nikki walks out behind him in some short ass shirts and a tight little t-shirt on, barefooted, her hair is a mess and is all over head head, leaving me no doubt about what she and D'Angelo had been doing before I had showed up, immediately infuriating me.

D'Angelo stares at me from the top of the front step of the porch.

"Fuck you doing at my girls house, cracker?" He asks me, cracking his knuckles.

"Your fucking girl?!" I ask kinda dumbfounded cause I ain't about to lie, they caught me off guard with this shit.

I know Nikki was oissed at me because of the whole Kim bullshit but I didn't think she would go so far to get back at me.

D'Angelo of all people?!

"Hi, Marshall," she smiles at me as she goes to stand by D'Angelo. "Just so you know, me and him, every night," she says, rubbing it in my face that she's out here fucking the same damn dude that fucking almost killed me before. "Oh, and also," she now continues. "D'Angelo is like 10 times finer than you, Marshall, his rhymes are better than yours, and he ain't no broke ass trailer park trash momma's boy!!" She says the last sentence spitefully and sounding exactly like a stuck-up whore she is and always was.

"Yo Nikki, you are a fucking bitch for real!" I blurt out immediately. "And a fucking slut!!"

"Oh, just like you?" She crosses her arms over her chest.

And I feel so much anger and rage building up inside of me then, I swear to fuck it ain't never used to hurt that bad even when Kim cheated.

Maybe it's cause I've always expected it from Kim, but I ain't expect it from Nikki.

Nikki was always a good girl after all, or so I had thought. She was so good in fact that she wouldn't even have sex with me, even if we had been going out for months.

Come to find out though, she really is just a hoe. But why does it hurt so bad, and why am I so fucking mad, I don't even give a fuck that I have cheated on her first.

Yo fuck that bitch!!

***

2003

Nikki's P.O.V.

Some hours after the interview, I'm sitting by myself in my hotel room here in New York, drinking some wine.

I know very well now that since I wasn't able to control my emotions that I had felt ever since that time I've overheard Marshall and Paul Rosenberg talk crap about me on the plane, that my deal with Paul is obviously off, since I didn't uphold my part of the bargain after all.

I seriously doubt that I would even be getting a ride back to LA now, but it's all good, I'll just fly out there by myself in a few days.

Honestly, maybe I should have sucked it up and got with the program, but the thing is the angry ass look on Marshall's face when I had exposed him for the liar that he is on national television, it was fucking worth it as far as I'm concerned.

That's what he gets for almost making a fool of me once again, because damn this fucking white boy, but he was almost getting to me again, just like back when we were teenagers, until that time on the plane.

I realized then that he and Paul were just intending to use me all along, and I am not the one to be used ever.

Just as I'm rewatching the interview on TV now, laughing my ass off to all of the Ooooooos and Aaaaaas the audience on screen let's out whenever I reveal something about Marshall, I suddenly hear a loud ass knock on my door. More like a pounding actually.

I put my wine glass aside and go open it.

Only to reveal Marshall standing behind the door, with that same angry ass stone cold look on his face.

Welp, I guess he came to kill me. Bring it on white boy...