16

Alyssa's P.O.V.

"Alyssa."

"Dennise."

Sabay na naging pagtawag namin sa isa't isa nang makaupo ako sa pwesto kanina nina Ella and Bea, kaso pagdating ko ay siya namang pag alis noong dalawa. Tsk tsk. Iniwan pa talaga ko rito sa isa.

"You go first.", mabilis kong sagot rito.

"Oh, okay. I was just gonna ask- "

"- Ly! May bisita ka!", Ella shouted from the front gate.

Nilingon ko lamang ito to see kung sino iyon and when I have that confirmed ay ibinalik ko agad ang tingin kay Dennise.

"Ian, iho. Tuloy ka.", mom welcomed him.

Yes, that was Ian Umali. President of Quantum golf where Beatriz, MG and I sometimes play.

He has been trying to court me for awhile now, but I wouldn't say yes.

Bakit?

Because I could never bring myself to loving someone who's not Dennise.

I'd rather get old and die alone than to let somebody else into my life. It just does not feel right.

Anyway, no matter how bitter and nasty my life has been for the past five years- the view in front of me makes me forget all of it, even for a moment.

It was Dennise looking sharply kay Ian habang kausap ni mom. Nakataas pa ang isang kilay nito.

This makes my heart jump up and down sa saya.

If I didn't know any better at kung kami pa ngayon ay malamang this attitude only explains that she's freaking jealous right now.

Wow. Again, Alyssa, let's not get our hopes high.

She has her own family now.

Snap out of it!

And no matter how painful the reality is, I just can't stop smiling.

Even if she has caught me red handedly staring at her, I couldn't care less. I miss her so much.

I just smiled at her bago ibinaling ang tingin kay Ian na ngayon ay nakalapit na sa aming lamesa.

"Hi, Aly! Happy birthday! Ito may kaunting regalo akong dala for you. Pasensya na, wala na kasi akong enough time to buy something more special. Pero sana magustuhan mo."

Tumayo ako para kunin ang bulaklak at paper bag na dala nito.

"Thanks Ian, you know you really didn't have to. But thank you for dropping by alam kong sobrang busy mo."

"I know you'd say that. But anything for you, love."

Love?!

What the f-

"Love???"

Kung nagulat ako sa itinawag sa akin ni Ian, mas nagulat ako sa naging reaksiyon ni Dennise.

Bigla akong nataranta.

Huh? Teka, bakit ba ako natataranta?

"Ah- eh ano sorry sorry, Den. Uhm this is Ian. Ian, this is Dennise, Mommy Arlene's daughter.", kabadong pagpapakilala ko sa kaniya kay Ian.

"Hi, Mrs. Revilla. Of course I know you. LA is a good friend of mine. I am, well- Alyssa's boyfriend.", nakangiting pagbati nito kay Dennise.

Boyfriend?! Shit. Ano bang pinagsasasabi nito?

Napansin kong hindi inabot ni Dennise ang kamay noong huli kaya magsasalita na sana ako kaso...

She did not let me finish.

"Den, uhm he's ac-".

"- If you'll excuse me, I don't want to interrupt you guys or something. But hey, happy birthday, Alyssa. Enjoy your party.", pagpapaalam nito at tuluyang pumasok sa loob ng bahay nila.

"Oops. Did I say something wrong?", inosenteng tanong naman nitong isa na naiwan kasama ko.

I don't want to be rude so nginitian ko lamang ito bago sinagot, "Must be the jetlag, kakauwi lang kasi nila.".

Dahil sa totoo lamang ay hindi ko rin alam kung bakit biglang umalis iyong isa.

"I see. But Aly, I'm really sorry I couldn't stay any longer. I just really wanted to greet you in person. Happy birthday again, okay? Enjoy your party."

"Yeah, thank you Ian. But Ian, please. You know we've talked about this. I can't let you go any further with what you are trying to do. I'm really sorry. I can't let you be wasting your time like this. Okay? But I really appreciate these.", sabi ko sa kaniya while lifting the flower and his gift.

Huminga pa ito nang malalim bago sumagot, "Well, I would still like to stick around. Maybe even just as your friend? Can you atleast let me do that? I just really wanna be there for you.".

"That's only if you can stop saying you are my 'boyfriend' and stuff. Ikaw talaga.", pabiro kong sagot rito.

Natawa siya and gave me a nod.

"Alright. Okay, then. I'll see you around, Ian. Take care!", sabi ko at saka ko siya niyakap.

"Okay, love.", pang aasar pa nito at napailing na lamang ako.

Nagpaalam na rin siya sa mommy ni Dennise at mga kaibigan naming naroroon.

"Wow, ang haba ng hair! Jia, baka maapakan niyo ang buhok niyan.", mapang asar na sambit ni Ella habang pumapalakpak nang mabagal at naglalakad papalapit sa akin.

Here we go.

Mabilis ring lumapit ang iba pa noong makaalis na si Ian.

"Ano, ate Ly? Kayo na ba?", Julia asked.

"Oo nga ate, parang two years ka nang nililigawan noon ah? Wala pa rin ba? Sayang libre pa naman lagi maglaro sa Quantum pagkasama ka namin, 'di ba ate MG?", that was Beatriz.

"Oo nga, Ly. What's the real score between you two? And bakit may nagwalk out?", nakangising tanong ni Michelle.

"Malamang, nagseselos.", mabilis na banat ni Ella.

"Selos? Hello? Bakit? Tingin mo ba mahal pa niya itong si Alyssa? Duh, ang laki na ng anak nila ni LA. She must have moved on with what she has now. Huwag mo na ngang bigyan ng false hope iyang kaibigan natin.", mataray na sagot sa kaniya ni Bea.

"Aray naman, Bea.", pabiro kong sabi pero sa totoo lang ay tumagos lahat ng sinabi ni Bea sa akin.

She really must have moved on.

"Grabe ka naman, Bea! Malay mo naman.", sigaw ni Synj rito.

"Isa ka pa, Synjin! Tigilan niyo na si Alyssa. Wala pa nga tayong nakukuhang sagot doon sa isa eh. For now, why don't we just celebrate Ly's birthday?", pagsasaway muli noong isa.

Tahimik namang nakikinig lang si Jessica at ang iba pa habang nagtatalo iyong tatlo.

"Whatever Bea, you know what? Iinom na lang natin iyan, Ly! Let's partyyy!", sigaw ni Ella.

Nagsigawan rin naman ang bawat isa at nagsikuha ng kani-kanilang alak from the bar that they had set up.

Naiwan naman akong nakaupo sa lamesa.

It's slowly sinking in.

She's already got her own family.

Nakauwi na siya, yes. And she was even allowed na makipagkita or makipag usap sa'yo dahil she has finally accepted her fate.

She has accepted the life that she was once forced into.

Who would wanna let go of something so precious? Of that adorable five year old kid?

Even I, wouldn't let go.

I'd choose the kid. I'd live for him no matter how difficult life is.

"What do you think you're doing, huh? Ni hindi ka pa kumakain lalaklak ka na naman niyang alak. Here, eat.", panenermon ni mom when I was about to drink a glass of vodka na binigay nila Ella kani-kanina lang.

"Hey, mom.", bati ko rito at pinaupo siya sa upuang katabi ng akin.

"Anak, this is supposed to be a happy day for you. For all of us."

"Because she's back?"

"No, I mean not just that, but because it is your birthday. Anak, maligaya akong nakauwi na si Dennise at totoong walang mapagsidlang ang saya ko- pero my heart is continuously breaking para sa inyong dalawa. Iha, we love you so much. You know that, right? And kung ano mang kalabasan nitong pag uwi niya rito sa Pinas, parati kaming nakasuporta sa iyong dalawa. If this would be the final closure that you'll need, then so be it. But if this is about to start something else, we will have to be ready for it. You'll have to embrace whatever the outcome would be. Okay? Come here.", mom said as she pulls me in for a hug at hindi ko naman napigilang maiyak.

"Mom, it hurts, so much. But I am grateful to see her doing well. I am happy to see her and her beloved son. They have raised him well. I'm so proud of her.", umiiyak kong sabi kay mommy habang patuloy na nakayakap sa kaniya.

She started to run her hand up and down sa aking likod to soothe me.

And it works, everytime.

Mother's love, indeed.

She wiped my tears and nang mapakalma na niya ako, she asked me to eat my food before anything else bago pumasok sa loob ng bahay para tawagin raw sina dad at ang mga bata.

-

After kong makakain ay nagsilabasan na rin sina mom, dad at dalawang bata.

I was somehow hoping Dennise and the kid would join us, pero wala sila.

Nasa gitna na ako ngayon ng mini stage na pinaset up nila for me dahil bigayan na raw muna ng presents bago blowing of candle.

Pakulo talaga ni Ella eh.

"Happy birthday, anak! Here, dad and mom has prepared a lil' something for you.", masayang bati ni dad as he hands me a little box.

"Dad, you didn't have to. Nag abala pa kayo ni mom."

"Come on, Ly. Open it up. Your dad and I had a hard time finding it.", kantiyaw naman ni mom.

"Alright, alright, mom."

"Oh my gosh, are you guys serious? I can't take this. It's too much. Mom, dad. No, please."

"What's that, Alyssa?", curious na tanong ni Ella.

"Patingin kami, ate Ly!"

At nagsipuntahan naman ang mga ito sa likuran ko.

"Whaaaat?!"

"Grabe naman, tito, tita! Pwede po ba magpaampon sa inyo?"

"Ang swerte mo talaga ate Ly, both sides. Super love ka ng family mo!"

"Tanggapin mo na, Ly. Kapag nakapag asawa ka, diyan mo na dalhin.", hirit naman ni Bea.

Sinamaan ko lamang ito ng tingin.

Sisikuhin sana siya ni Ella kaso tinignan rin siya nito ng masama kaya hindi na niya tinuloy.

"Anak, that's our gift to you. You can't just say no accepting it. Okay? You always wanted that, right? Alam naman namin na you can definitely buy one on your own, pero iba pa rin if we give it to you as your present, right?"

"But mom-"

"No buts, Ly. And you're welcome, anak. We love you."

I bit my lower lip para hindi ako mapahagulgol tapos ay niyakap ko sina mom and dad, sinuklian naman nila ako ng yakap at halik.

Sa loob ng box ay isang susi at picture ng isang beachfront house.

There's a little note pa saying, "For your new beginnings.".

"Mom, dad. Thank you so much. I love you both so much.", hindi ko na rin napigilang mapaiyak.

"Shh. Such a cry baby. Sweetie, we've talked to your parents regarding this. They said they'd buy you everything you'll need for your new house. Happy birthday, anak. You deserve it. Okay?", dad said.

"We love you, iha. Huwag ka nang umiyak. Okay? Enjoy your day, anak. Happy birthday!", pinunasan naman ni mom ang luha ko at pinaupo nang muli.

-

We've moved forward with blowing of the candle after they have presented their gifts which I genuinely appreciate.

"Happy birthday to youuuuu! Yay! Happy birthday, Alyssa! Make a wish and blow the candle!"

Pinikit ko ang aking mga mata and uttered a simple prayer.

Lord, please. Just let me know if I really have to let her go. If not, give me a sign and I will do everything to get her back, if you'd allow me to.

And again, it is as if God wants to give me His answer right away.

Yes, I did get an answer. I wasn't just sure if this is to let her go, or to get her back.

Air has been sucked out of my lungs when I saw her the moment I opened my eyes.

Dennise and her kid are walking towards my direction.

Parang nawala lahat ng tao sa paligid and my heart started to beat fast.

"Uhm, the kid wanted to greet you so, if you don't mind us crashing into your party."

I'm sure I heard her pero bakit parang hindi ako makapagsalita.

Or I just simply couldn't find my words.

I'm so mesmerized by her beauty and I know I am staring too much, I can't help it.

I felt a soft nudge on my side, it was Ella.

"Agua, kinakausap ka ni Den.", bulong nito.

Nakatitig lamang kami sa isa't isa.

If not for the kid, I might have actually kissed her.

Dang, I miss her so much, it hurts.

I clicked my tongue and shook my head to remove the thought circling inside.

"Sorry, Dennise. No, I don't mind you and this little man right here crashing my party. You're both very welcome."

She just nodded at me and sumenyas na naghihintay iyong bata.

"Oh! Hey, buddy. I heard you wanted to greet me a happy birthday?", I knelt on one knee to talk to the kid.

"Yes! Actually, I have been wanting to introduce myself to you first, if that's okay?"

Natawa naman ang mga tao sa paligid namin because of how cute the kid is.

"Well, alright, let's hear it, bud."

He clears his throat first bago nagsalita, "Hi, so uhm, okay. My name is Alyson Michael, I am four but will turn five on December 29th, which is six months from today. And I just wanted to greet you a happy, happy, happy birthday Alyssa!"

I heard gasps and murmuring from the people around us.

"His name is Alyson Michael? Come on, doesn't that ring a bell?", bulong ni Julia sa mga ito.

"I know right. Oh my gosh, what does it mean? Was he named after her?"

Hindi ko na pinansin ang mga ito at sinagot na lamang ang bata, "Wow, you've got a great name, bud. I love it. But hey, how did you know mine?", bigla na naman akong na-curious sa batang ito.

"Mommy said-", he was cut off by his mom.

"- Uhm, of course, it's your birthday. And it's written up there, look.", sabi nito at hinawakan sa balikat ang kaniyang anak.

Itinuro niya iyong name ko na nakalagay sa may stage.

"Oh. Right. I see.", natawa naman ako dahil ang laki laki nga naman ng pangalan kong nakabalandra sa likod.

"Well, buddy- Alyson Michael, thank you so much for your greeting and I appreciate you being here, celebrating my birthday with us."

"You're most welcome, AV! I can call you AV, right? As in short for your name, Alyssa Valdez?"

"That's how Den calls her lalo na kapag binabati niya tuwing birthday si Ly, 'di ba?"

"Oo, lalo na sa mga posts niya sa social media. Something's so fishy."

"Maybe the kid was indeed named after Ly? But why???"

Ayan na naman ang mga marites sa likod ko pero again, hinayaan ko na lang sila.

"AV?", tumingala ako kay Dennise pero tinaasan lang niya ako ng kilay.

Grabe, ang suplada pa rin talaga. Pero na-miss ko pati iyan.

Lahat lahat sa'yo, Dennise. Araw araw kong na-mimiss.

Nginitian ko na lang siya at tumingin sa kaniyang anak.

"Bud, you can call me anything you want. You're the boss, okay?"

"Yay! Thank you, AV! Mom, mom! I get to call her AV! I get to call her AV!!!", pagbibida pa nito sa kaniyang mommy.

Natawa naman si Dennise sa kaniyang anak at hinalikan ito, "I hear you, hon. Good job.".

"AV, I hope to spend more time with you later on. But for now... I think my tummy would like to spend time with food!"

I chuckled at him and ginulo ang buhok nito, "Okay, bud. Would you like to eat first?".

"Yes!"

"I got you, kid. Uhm, Dennise? May I assist 'Alyson' to get his food?", sinadya ko talagang bigyang diin iyong name ng bata.

Whaaat? I'm curious, just as the rest of the people here.

"Okay. He loves adobo. I'm sure they have that for you, just let him have that too."

"Adobo? Sure. I'll take care of him, don't worry."

Kinarga ko ang bata at nang papunta na sana kami sa buffet table, bigla ulit nagsalita si Dennise.

"Hey, love!"

Biglang kumabog ang puso ko.

Like shit. What do I do?

Ako ba iyong tinawag niya?

Shit.

Wala naman akong nagawa kung hindi lumingon.

I tried my best not to act weird.

"H-Huh?", tanong ko na tila ay hindi ko siya narinig.

I don't know, but I thought I saw a smirk on her face.

Damn it!

Shit. Dang it, dang it, dang it!

Nakakahiya.

Alam kong napatingin silang lahat dahil malakas ang pagkakatawag ni Dennise ng 'love'.

Bakit naman niya ako tatawaging 'love'? Malamang iyong anak niya ang tinawag niya.

Shit! O lupa, kainin mo na ako.

NAKAKAHIYA!

I kept my straight face on habang nag iisip ng sunod na sasabihin.

Okay!

"Hey, bud. I think your mom needs to say something to you.", YES! NICE BRAIN, LY! GOOD WORK.

Phew.

"What? Are you calling for me, mom?", tanong nito sa kaniyang mommy.

Natatawa at umiiling itong sumagot sa kaniyang anak, "No, baby. Enjoy your food, okay? I'll be there on the other table with our friends. Call me if you need anything.", tapos ay tuminging muli ito sa akin at umiling pa ng isa habang nakangiti ng nakakaloko.

What just happened?

"I thought I heard her calling me 'love' , then now she's saying she didn't call for me. *Sighs* I so love her even if sometimes she really is so weird.", he said while giggling.

"And I love weird. There's nothing wrong about it, bud. I am weird too, sometimes."

"Oh, really? I am, too! That's so cool! We're all weirdos!"

Natawa na lang ako at sinimulan na siyang asikasuhin.

-

Nang makahanap ng upuan ay tinulungan ko lamang siyang mag himay ng ulam at sabi niya ay kaya na raw niya kumain mag isa.

"Look at you, you're all grown up, Alyson Michael. You make me so proud just looking at you like this. Your mom did a great job raising you, bud."

Naubo bigla ito kaya mabilis akong nag alala. I gently gave him some tap sa likod niya at pina-sip ng water.

Mabilis ring lumapit ang mommy niya when she heard him coughing.

"Bud, are you okay now? Let me see you.", tanong ko rito.

"Baby, what happened? Are you okay?", alalang tanong ng mommy niya.

"Mom, AV, you should've seen the look on your faces. Why so tensed? I am okay, weird parents."

Parang nagpantig ang tenga ko sa huli niyang sinabi.

"What?", I immediately asked because I thought I heard him say 'parents'.

For goodness' sake, Alyssa! Nahihibang ka na ba?

Parents? Really?

Ikaw ba si Luis Alfonso Revilla?

No! But if this is really his life now, I'd trade everything to be him.

To be in his place. Even just for a day.

"Son, chew your food well. Okay? Don't rush it. Eat slowly, alright?", paalala ng kaniyang mommy.

"Okay, mom. Sorry, I just got too excited."

"Huh? With what?"

"Because AV said she's proud of me."

Napatingin naman sa akin si Dennise.

Her look, it was not the same way she's looked at me.

Hindi na ito iyong walang ekspresiyon niyang mga mata.

She looks at me na parang gusto niyang... umiyak?

Or, baka nagalit siya sa akin dahil I said I'm proud of her son? Like why, what's wrong about saying that?

I don't know.

Naguguluhan ako.

"What?", and hindi ko na nga napigilang magtanong.

She just smiled at me at then to her son.

"Really? Well, we are all proud of you, son. Alright, finish your food, bubba. T-Thanks, Ly."

I smiled and nodded at her.

"Are you okay, AV?"

"I am, how about you?"

"I'm fantastic! This adobo (he said that as 'adowbow'), I love it very much. This is well, mom can only cook pasta and this dish. But it's my favorite! I know this one's your favorite too, am I right?"

"You sure do know a lot about me, kid. I'm starting to get curious."

He giggled and it was music to my ears.

I'm getting too attached to this kid. I can't do that to him, and- and to myself.

"It's okay, AV. You'll get all your questions answered in no time. Just hang in there.", he said and gave me a tap on my shoulder.

"I believe you, bud."

-

It's already 7:45 in the evening, everybody's still having a good time.

Oo nga pala, my parents and Kian arrived around 5PM.

Well, bros are probably busy with their lives and bukas pa babawi ang mga iyon to make up for today.

Nanay became so emotional when she's seen Dennise and her kid.

They didn't even bother to greet me or anything.

I understand. They've missed her so much.

They were worried sick day and night for the past five years.

Kahit hindi nila ipaalam sa akin, I know they purposely avoided talking about her when I am around. They didn't even dare to speak of her name.

I know they tried their best, to help me cope with everything that's happened.

But it breaks me even more to hear nanay cry every night kaya kahit nasasaktan ako, I tried acting as if I am doing okay.

I stopped crying every night. I never allowed them to see me sad. I never really told them how much I was still struggling.

I just can't. So, we all pretended to be okay.

We pretended to be okay, thinking that it will make things a little bit better for everyone.

But it didn't work that's when I decided to move out from our house again, and bumalik muli mag isa sa dorm.

Thankfully, they didn't ask. They just allowed me to do whatever I wanna do.

"Anak, happy birthday.", tatay said and gave me a bottle of beer.

"Thank you, tay. Nga pala tay, I didn't know about the beach house. You got really sneaky about it, huh? I never had a clue."

"Anak, paano pa magiging surprise iyon if ipinaalam namin sa iyo? Ikaw talaga."

"Pero tay, anyway, I'm sorry. Thank you, tay. I heard you and nanay will buy everything I'd need sa bahay? I would really love that.", pabiro kong sabi rito.

"Aba'y oo naman anak. Bakit? Ayaw mo ga? Ay siya edi ikaw na ang bahala sa mga gamit mo ha."

"Tatay naman, hindi na ho. Kayo na ang bahala ng nanay roon. Nag iipon pa ako ng pera eh."

"Para saan naman?"

"I don't know, savings lang tay. Tumatanda na ako and I couldn't keep playing all my life. So habang kaya pa tumalon at pumalo, might as well save as much as I could."

"Ay naku naman areng si ineng. Imbis na ubusin mo ang panahon sa pagiipon ng pera, bakit hindi ka muna maghanap ng makakasama sa buhay tutal may bahay ka ng sarili? Hindi ka na pabata ineng, ikaw na nga rin ang nagsabi."

"Tatay, come on. Alam niyo naman ho kung bakit."

"Pero anak, narito na siya. Kasama na niya ang kaniyang asawa at anak. Alam kong masakit pa rin lahat ng ito sa iyo pero kailangan mo na ring isipin ang sarili mo."

"Mahal ko pa siya, tay."

Hindi ko alam kung tulak na ba ng alak itong mga lumalabas sa bibig ko pero I will just let it out, tutal lasing na rin naman yata ako.

"Sobrang mahal ko pa rin siya hanggang ngayon, tay. Masaya akong makita siyang muli. Masaya ako para sa kaniya. Look at her kid, sobrang bait na bata and he looks just like her mom. Do you know what his name is? Tay? Ha! It was A-Alyson. Alyson Michael. I remembered just now, when we were in college. We were listing names na pwedeng ipangalan sa mga magiging anak namin. Only if- if we got married! B-But anyway, I remember that name now. Alyson is from my name Alyssa and Michael is from Dennise's second name- Michelle. If it was a girl, we wanted it to be Alyssandra Michaela and if, if it was a boy it would be Alyson Michael. And yeah. There she went, named her child just like how we've always wanted. Why name your son with your ex's name, tay? Why? Dang it. I wanna ask her, but what's the fucking point?"

"Maybe she's not over you yet, anak."

"Tay, can you even h-hear yourself? You must be dr-drunk. How can s-she be not over me? She looks so happy. Oh fuck, look at that. Her husband just arrived. Wow, what a fucking great timing."

"Ineng, get a grip. Okay? If you're not in your right mind, ipapasok na kita sa loob."

"N-No, I'm good. Tay. Look at him, playing with their son. I wish I could just take his place."

"Nay, lasing na iyang anak mo. Halina't ipasok na natin bago pa makaisip ng kung ano.", sabi ni tatay noong pinuntahan kami ni nanay sa lamesa.

"Ineng? Anak, halina at marami ka na yatang nainom. Ruel naman ah, talagang dinalhan mo pa ng alak areng anak mo eh. Pambihira."

"Ay nanay pasensya na at parang kailangan pa ng iyong anak ng isang bote eh."

"Hay nako, halina itayo na natin are."

"Nay, tay. Please, just let me sit here. Kaya ko pa naman.", pagmamatigas ko sa mga ito.

"Ineng, lasing ka na eh. Itulog mo na muna iyan."

Kahit anong pilit nila ay hindi nila ako nagawang patayuin sa kinauupuan ko at patuloy kong ininom ang alak na nasa harapan ko.

Napansin kong lumalapit na sina Ella at Bea sa akin. Kasama rin nila si Synj.

"Nanay, kami na hong bahala riyan. Papasok na rin po kami maya maya. Mauna na muna po kayo doon sa loob. Naroon na po sina tito Mike.", I heard Ella said.

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang naging sagutan nila dahil hindi ko maialis ang tingin ko kay Luis at sa bata.

Naglalaro silang dalawa. The kid looks very happy.

Maya maya pa ay lumapit si Dennise sa mga ito, pinunasan ang likod ng bata at binigyan rin naman ng maiinom si Luis.

Luis leaned towards her and parang may ibinulong.

Bahagya pang natawa si Dennise sa sinabi sa kaniya nito.

I scoffed at the scene.

What a sore in the eye.

Lumagok pa akong muli ng isa from my bottle.

"Oh, ano? Isa pa ba? Synj, bigyan mo pa ito. Mukhang kulang pa eh.", sarkastikong sabi ni Ella.

"Kulang? Ella, kanina pa umiinom iyan.", pagsasaway ni Bea sa kaniya.

"No, kulang pa iyan. Dahil kahit anong laklak niya ng alak, hindi naman niya maaalis iyong pain na nakukuha niya ngayon sa nakikita niya. Ayun oh.", ngumuso naman si Ella signalling them to look at the same direction as her.

"Ah. Kaya pala. Oh well, might as well join you in this grief party then? Synj, go on, kumuha ka pa ng alak at samahan nating magluksa itong isa.", sabi ni Bea as she grabs a seat beside me while Ella followed her gesture at umupo naman sa kabilang side ko.

MG saw us gathered here kaya iniwan niya ang mga bata doon sa isa pang table na masayang nagkukwentuhan at sumama sa amin.

"Okay, I guess we are resuming the grief party right here. I'd like to join in."

"Yeah. You've been in this club for what? 3 years now? I guess we'll stay active for quite some time pa.", pagbibiro ni Ella.

"Cheers to that.", MG said at nag simula na rin silang uminom ng kani kanilang alak.

"Guys, I prefer to be alone. Why the hell are you all here?", inis kong tanong sa mga ito.

"Para naman hindi ka sobrang mukhang kawawa.", Bea said.

"At para naman hindi kami magmukhang masamang mga kaibigan. Besides, you kept staring at that little precious family habang nasa gitna iyong lamesa namin. Ang awkward at ang lakas ng tensiyon. I couldn't take it.", MG added.

"Saka please, tigilan mo na nga iyang kakatingin sa kanila. Mamaya makahalata si Den, maiilang pa iyan sa'yo. Tara Ly, tawagan natin si Ian, sabihin natin na pwede na siyang mangligaw para makapagmove on ka na lang rin.", and that was Ella.

"Ella, ang ayos mo rin eh 'no? Gagamitin niyo pa si Ian eh ang bait bait noon. Masasaktan lang siya at si Alyssa ay lalo lang mangungulila. Kailangan niyang tanggapin iyang nasa harapan niya na walang ginagamit na ibang tao. Ikaw naman, Alyssa. Gumising ka na. Ito na iyong sign na parati mong ipinagdarasal. Sign to let go. Sign to move forward. Sign to move on.", panenermon ni Synjin.

My heart skipped a beat.

Our eyes just suddenly met.

Then... Luis gave her a kiss. On her cheek and on her temple.

And uttered something bago binuhat si Alyson at naglakad papunta sa lamesa namin.

Tumigil naman sa pag uusap usap ang mga kasama ko.

"Hi, LA! It's been a while, huh?", pagbati ni MG rito.

"Hi, Mich! Oo nga eh. Look at this young man, ang bilis ng panahon, he'd be turning five by December.", he said proudly.

Even I would be proud if I'd have a son like him.

I smiled bitterly.

"Well, uhm, I heard it was your birthday, Alyssa? Happy birthday. It's good to see you again and I take you've met this young man already? He looks just like his mom, right?"

I scoffed at him and answered, "Yeah. He does look like his mother.", thankfully, I thought.

"AV? Are you drunk? You sound funny.", the kid asked.

I cleared my throat and gave him a huge smile, "Drunk? Not yet, bud. I think I should stop drinking, right?".

He nodded his head and bumulong kay Luis.

Luis nodded at him and ibinaba ito.

Mabilis na tumakbo papunta sa akin si Alyson and gave me a kiss and a hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow, AV! I love you! Good night!", he said and tumakbo na muli pabalik kay Luis. At nagpaalam na silang muli sa bawat isa sa amin.

He said he loves me.

Hindi ko na napigilang mapaiyak.

At mukhang nag alala ang mga taong nasa lamesa kasama ko.

"Ly? What's wrong?"

"Besh, I'm sorry, may nasabi ba akong mali?", Synjin said.

"Wala naman, Synj. Kaso puro masasakit iyong sinabi mo baka kaya umiyak.", mataray na sabi ni Bea.

"Bakit? Ikaw nga itong laging nangrereal talk dito eh. Tapos ngayon ako na lang ang masama? Grabe ka talaga!"

"Tigilan niyo na iyan. Papalapit na iyong isa.", bulong ni MG at isa isa silang lumayo sa lamesa.

"Ella, halika na!", pagtatawag pa nila rito sa isa.

"Oo! Den, kukuha lang kami ng maiinom ha. Parang nabitin pa kasi si Ly eh. Wait lang. We'll be right back."

Nang makaalis sina Ella ay saka pa lamang nagsalita itong isa.

"May I join you?"

Mabilis akong nagpunas ng luha at umupo nang maayos.

"What do you need?", inis kong tanong rito as I took another shot.

I didn't mean to snap like that. Must be the alcohol.

Right. Isisi natin lahat sa alkohol.

"Stop drinking, you've had enough.", sabi nito and tries to grab the bottle I was holding.

"Why? Why do you care? Wait, do you even care how much alcohol I consume? Just get inside, Dennise. It's getting cold. Take a shower, take a rest and be with your husband and son."

"Ly."

"Dang it. Stop calling my name."

"Hey. Look at me.", tawag muli nito sa akin as she gently held my face.

Her touch, I miss her touch.

Napapikit naman ako as I felt her warmth.

And tears started to fall.

I held her hand.

And realized that she's not supposed to be holding me that way.

I'm not supposed to react that way either.

Mabilis kong inialis ang kamay niya sa mukha ko.

"Dennise. Just get inside."

"We'll talk, but not until you sober up.", seryosong sabi nito.

"Talk about what, huh? You know what? I get it. You're happy now. You've finally moved on. You have accepted this life. You have your husband and son now and that you wouldn't trade them for anything or anyone in this world- not even for me. Dennise, I fucking get that. Okay? So just leave me the fuck alone and let me get miserable all by myself for fuck's sake!"

With a sudden, sharp motion, Dennise slapped the side of Alyssa's face.

This seemed to have the latter get back on her senses.

"You don't have any damn idea what I went through. Para lang makabalik dito, para makabalik sa'yo! Damn it, Ly! I did everything I could only to find out that you are already seeing somebody else! How can you let me go that easy? Sure, I told mom and Ella na tulungan ka at sabihin sa'yong magpatuloy ka kahit wala ako. Yes! I freaking told them that, dahil ayokong umasa ka nang umasa sa wala. Paano kung hindi na ako makabalik? Paano kung wala na pala talagang pag asa? I can't tell you to wait on for me habambuhay, but you- you should have known better! You could have waited a little bit longer! How can you let go of me that easy, Alyssa?"

"Let you go?! You must be out of your mind to be saying that! I never- not even once in the last five years gave up on you! I never got tired of praying and hoping that one day, kahit isang pagkakataon lang ay bigyan ako. I just need one last chance to get you back, to get you home but Dennise, that fucking old Revilla succeeded with his plans! He made you carry his precious son's kid- to hell with that. Can you even imagine how I felt when I heard the news? IT FUCKING CRASHED MY WHOLE WORLD APART, OR WHAT'S EVEN LEFT OF IT! I know, damn it! I know it was even harder on you. Pero paano ako? How am I supposed to live with that, huh? I spent my fucking time in who-knows-where. I spent all my fucking day and night drowning myself in alcohol because if I don't, that image of you suffering because of me keeps flashing right through my head! And I kept on hating myself for that EVERY SINGLE DAY! Dahil alam kong pinagdadaanan mo lahat ng iyon dahil lang sa akin! I can't even do anything para lang payagan ka nilang makauwi because they kept on watching me. They made sure I won't do anything stupid. I even tried going after you kahit wala akong ka ide-ideya kung nasaang lupalop ka and you know what I got? A picture of you, sitting in a veranda. What's written on the letter? Something saying that if I am thinking of going after you, I should think again. I knew then that it was a fucking threat! A threat to put you in danger, to harm you. I felt fucking useless, Dennise. All I ever know is that I've failed you from that moment I left you, just right outside that café. I shouldn't have left you. I should have came with you. I- I should have been there to protect you. This is all my fault. You should never had to go through all that pain alone. I should have- I should have been there, Dennise. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.", all these years, I have been fighting this battle inside- but tonight, I let the love of my life hear it straight from me. I ripped my heart open in front of her, showing all my vulnerabilities I tried to hide. I cried my heart and soul out in front of the person I have been longing for the most.

With my blurry vision, I looked at her.

She's looking right back at me- with tears flowing from her eyes.

She's not saying anything, she's just crying as hard as I am right now.

"W-When do you plan on telling me all these things?"

"I wasn't even planning on reaching out to you if you ever get back here, thinking that they might hurt you. But destiny really wanna play with me, I met your son by chance then- there was you. In your dazzling blue dress. Tapos you immediately left, remember? But surely fate wants me to get my head straight, I told myself if you would allow me to drive you and your kid home, ibig sabihin it wouldn't affect you anymore. I'm not sure how, but the only reason I had in my mind was- oh, maybe she has finally accepted the life she has now. Kaya it won't matter kung makalapit man ako sa'yo, or kung magkita man tayo- dahil you've been allowed to just live your life. You've been allowed to do so dahil you've finally learned how to embrace this life you were once forced into. You have chosen to move forward with him, with them. Den, anong laban ko roon?"

"You didn't even bother to ask, Ly. How can you just assume that it was the case? Why didn't you even try, huh? How will you know the truth if you won't even bring yourself to ask?"

"Because I won't dare break the kid's heart. When I saw him, I saw a kid who's so loved by his parents. I saw a kid that's nurtured by the right people. When I saw him, he immediately tugged my heart and right there and then I felt this urge of protecting him. You and Luis are his family and his world. Why would I even try to take that away from him? Why would I even dare to hurt that wonderful kid?"

"Then try asking me now, Alyssa. So you can get all your questions answered."

"Para saan pa? Para lalo lang akong masaktan? Para maipamukha mo sa akin na you're finally free, but that freedom is no longer being with me? It's okay, just save it for yourselves. I think I've had enough for this birthday celebration. But, hey, good talk.", sambit ko rito upang tapusin na ang usapang wala rin namang pupuntahan at tumayo na sa aking kinauupuan when she fired another question.

"How can you act like this if ikaw itong unang bumitaw?"

"What did you say?", nilingon ko ito habang magkasalubong ang dalawang kilay. I'm not mad but parang pumintig ang tenga ko when she said that again.

Bumitaw? Really? I just told her that I have never given up on her. I don't even know if she's ever listened to everything I've said.

"What? Now you're even getting mad at me? Wow, really. I don't know what's gotten into you. But sure, go ahead. Just let me go if that's what you really want to do and stay in love with your 'boyfriend'."

Dahil na rin siguro sa inis ko ay pinatulan ko na lang rin ang sinabi nito.

"Oh? You're referring to Ian? What is it to you if may boyfriend na nga ako? Bakit nagseselos ka ba? May asawa't anak ka na, Dennise. Baka pwede namang isipin ko na rin ang sarili ko ngayon?"

"So, it's true? Boyfriend mo nga siya?"

"What are you gonna do about it?", panghahamon ko rito.

Ngumisi ito bago inubos ang natitirang alak sa bote na hawak ko kanina tapos ay tumayo sa kaniyang kinauupuan at lumakad papunta sa aking harapan.

Inilapit nito ang kaniyang mukha sa akin bago muling nagsalita.

"Well, tell your little precious boyfriend- that I am taking back what's mine.", bulong nito at hindi ko inasahan ang sunod nitong ginawa.

She grabbed the back of my head and aggressively pressed her lips against mine.

I was stunned.

And before I could even react, she's already pulled herself away, wiped my lips with her thumb and gave me a gentle tap on my cheek and left me here standing- dumbfounded.

What the fuck just happened?

-

"Oh, there she is. Our birthday girl! Good morning, anak!", masayang bati ni daddy Mike sa akin nang makababa ako sa hagdan.

Teka, paano pala ako napunta sa taas?

Anyway.

"Hey dad, it's no longer my birthday.", nakangiti kong bati rito at niyakap siya.

"Aba anak, ganoon pa rin iyon. Kahapon laang naman ang iyong birthday. O ano? Lalaban ka pa ba sa amin ng iyong daddy Mike ng inuman? Mukhang humina ka na ah.", panghahamon naman ni tatay sa akin.

"Ha! Ako pa ba, tay? Maaga laang ho kasi ako nagsimula kahapon kaya tinamaan agad. Pero sure, hindi ko kayo aatrasan ni dad."

"Ah, talagang almusal pa lamang ay alak na ang nasa utak ng mga ito eh. Magsikain na muna tayo.", saway naman ng nanay sa aming tatlo.

"Good morning nay, mom!", bati ko sa dalawa bago niyakap at hinalikan sila sa pisngi.

"Iha, tigilan mo na iyang kakaalak. Hayaan mo na ang mga tatay at daddy niyo na lang ang magtuloy ng inuman nila.", paalala naman ni mommy Arlene.

"Kaya ko pa naman po mom."

Napailing na lang sina nanay at mommy.

"Apo! Good morning!", masayang bati ni mommy Arlene sa bata.

"Good morning, everyone! AV! I've missed you!", patakbong bati ng bata at agad na nagpabuhat.

Kinuha ko naman ito at binuhat.

"Hey, buddy. How's your sleep? I thought you were gonna sleep in uncle Mosh's room?"

"Well, Pá and I played until past my bed time so I got really tireeeed.", sagot nito at nagkunwari pang nahimatay sa balikat ko.

Natawa naman ang mga matatanda sa paligid niya.

Pá.

Narito nga rin pala iyang kumag na iyan. I almost forgot.

"Yeah, you had a great time right? Come on, mom will prepare our breakfast for us.", tawag nito sa bata kaya ibinaba ko na ito at tumakbo naman siya patungo doon sa isa.

"Good morning po.", bati ni Luis sa mga magulang ko at mga magulang ni Dennise.

"Magandang umaga, iho. Maupo na kayo ni totoy diyan.", nanay said.

What a weird family.

Bakit kamo?

Well, nasa iisang bubong lang naman ang pamilya ng ex ni Dennise kasama ng mga magulang at kapatid niya at ganoon na rin ng asawa at anak nila.

If that's not fucking odd for you, I don't know what is.

"Good morning, Alyssa.", bati ni Dennise sa akin nang mapadaan siya sa kinatatayuan ko.

Hindi naman ako nakasagot dahil, kailangan ba? And how do you expect me to act after niya akong halikan kagabi???

Tsk.

"Good morning, everyone!", masayang bati niya sa lahat.

Masaya naman rin siyang binati pabalik ng mga kasama namin.

"Ly, umupo ka na.", tawag ni Ella sa akin.

Oo, nandito pa rin sila Ella. Although ang naiwan na lang ay siya, si Jia at Jema. Maagang nagpaalam iyong iba dahil sa mga busy sched nila.

Habang kumakain ay pinanood kong asikasuhin ni Dennise ang kaniyang asawa at anak.

How did he end up living my dreams?

Ganoon ba ako kasama sa past life ko para maranasan lahat ng sakit na ito?

Bakit ba kahit durog na durog na ang puso ko ay hindi ko maalis ang aking mga mata kamamasid sa kanila?

Dennise, how did you end up loving him this much para tuluyan akong bitawan?

"Masokista ka ba? Itigil mo na iyan at kumain ka na.", bulong muli ni Ella at doon ay natauhan ako sa pinaggagagawa ko.

Masokista na nga yata ako.

Umiling na lamang ako kay Ella at pinilit ubusin ang pagkain sa aking plato pero parang nawalan na ako ng gana kaya nag excuse na ako ng sarili.

"Bakit anak? Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo?", nag aalalang tanong ni nanay.

"Hindi ho, nay. I just need some air."

"Wala bang hangin dito, Ly? Or hindi mo gusto iyong hangin dito?", mahiwagang tanong ng nag iisang Jorella Marie.

Tinawanan ko na lang kunwari ang tanong ni Ella dahil parang biglang bumigat ang tensiyon sa paligid.

I saw Dennise waiting for my answer pero ganoon rin ang asawa nito.

Asawa niya. Right.

"We need to jog it out, Ells. Ang dami kong nakain kahapon. Feeling ko I've gained weight agad agad."

"Oo nga ate Ella, lalo ka na. Mamaya hahapuin ka na naman sa training.", hirit ni Jia.

"Oo nga, bebe. Samahan mo na nga muna si ate Ly sa labas. Tigilan mo na iyang lechon, kahapon ka pa.", dagdag pa ng girlfriend nito na si Jema.

"Wow, kung mapagtulungang i-bash parang wala ako sa harap niyo ah. Lika na nga, Ly. Doon ko na tatapusin itong pagkain ko.", pagtatampu-tampuhan naman ni Ella at niyaya na ako palabas ng bahay.

-

"Tahimik natin ah. Go on, speak your mind."

"She kissed me last night."

"SHE DID WHAT?!", halos mabuga naman nito ang pagkain niya sa pagkagulat.

"Damn you, lower your fucking voice.", inis kong sabi rito at hinila siya paupo sa tabi ko.

"Wait, wait. Shit. Okay. She kissed you? Like on the lips?"

"Yeah."

"You know what's funny?"

"What?"

"You were dead drunk last night, pinagtulung-tulungan ka pa nga naming iakyat na parang ang gaan gaan mo. Sana pala iniwan ka na lang namin dito sa labas. Anyways, what I really wanna say is that- baka nanaginip ka lang or something dahil sa sobrang lasing mo. Ly, like hello may asawa't anak na iyong tao. I'm sure Den wouldn't play like that."

"That's the thing, nahimasmasan ako when she kissed me, Ella. That's why I know it was not just a dream. I don't know, I even remember her saying to tell my boyfriend that she is taking back what's hers. Tapos iniwan na niya na ko mag isa."

"You have a boyfriend?! That I don't know of?! What the fuck, Ly?"

"Kumalma ka nga. Sigaw ka nang sigaw mamaya marinig ka ng mga iyon. Wala, okay? Remember Ian? Sabi ko lang naman what is she gonna do about it if boyfriend ko na nga si Ian- then that's what happened."

Bigla naman itong tumawa kaya tinignan ko siya ng masama.

"Sorry, Ly. Kasi naman. We've actually seen all those happened. Last night."

"Ha?!"

"Ang OA nito. Baliw ka ba? Nasa kabilang lamesa lang kami, like 12 feet from where you two were fighting like a lovesick teenage couple.", naiiling na sabi nito.

"Nakakahiya! You guys even saw her slapping the heck out of me?"

"That was one solid slap, I'd say. Which you deserved by the way."

"Dang. Hold on, y-you think I deserved that?"

"Why not? You're just plain stupid sometimes, Ly. Why snap out on her like that when you're supposed to get information on how she got home, why is she back, is she back for good or what's going to happen between you two now that she's here? Mga ganoon sana, pero I can't blame you. Kaya I'll just let you know that you somehow, deserved that."

"Thanks ha. Pero, Ells, I don't know what to do.", sabi ko rito as I rubbed both my hands sa mukha ko in frustration.

"Just talk to her, Ly."

Talk to her. As if ganoon kadali iyon.

Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako dahil hindi ko talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko.

Damn it, Den. Why make things more complicated when you can just tell me you've finally accepted the life you have now.

"Ano, mag isip isip ka bago ka gumawa ng mga desisyon na pagsisisihan mo lang sa huli, Alyssa. Okay? Sige na, maliligo na ako at ang init init na. Pumasok ka na rin muna doon pag kalmado ka na."

"Sige."

"We're here for you, Agua. Okay?"

"I know, Ells. Thank you."

She just nodded at me bago pumasok na muli sa bahay leaving me by myself dito sa kubo.

Habang nag-iisip nang malalim ay may biglang nagsalita sa tabi ko.

"Hey."

Kung may sakit ako sa puso, malamang inatake na ako sa gulat.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko sa pagkabigla sa kaniya.

"Shit! Oh, s-sorry. Ikaw pala."

"Masyado ka namang magugulatin."

"Yeah, well."

Wala na akong nasabi kaya hinayaan ko na lang siya.

Umupo ito sa upuan sa tapat ko.

"Do you have any plans today?", she asked.

"H-Huh? Wala naman. Why do you ask?"

"Great! Sooo can you accompany me later? Just need to get some things from my condo."

Bakit ako?

"Why? Can't your husband drive you there?", tanong ko habang nakataas ang isang kilay.

Bumuntong hininga pa ito na parang naiinis bago sumagot, "Can't you get a hint, Alyssa? I just made an excuse so that I can be with you. The least you can do is to say yes.".

What in the world is she talking about?

This is what I was trying to tell you, Ella!

"A-Ano bang sinasabi mo? Hindi kita maintindihan."

"I want to spend time with you, alone. Mahirap bang intindihin iyon?", seryoso nitong saad.

"Dennise. Anong ginagawa mo?"

"Didn't I tell you last night? I am taking back what's mine."

I scoffed at her, "Nahihibang ka na yata. May asawa at anak ka na, at may boyfriend na ako. Ano? Lahat sa'yo pa rin? And bakit ko naman ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko sa'yo kung naka-usad ka naman na pala? Why don't you just be happy with what you have now? What are you gonna do about your kid, huh? Iiwan mo siya para lang sa akin? Then no, stop whatever you are trying to do. Just live your life with them."

"Isn't this fun, babe?"

"Fun?? Dennise, wake up. Nothing's fun about this. Buhay ng bata iyong gusto mong sirain. So stop flirting with me or kung ano man iyang ginagawa mo."

"Why? Don't you like it? Don't you want me back? I can be yours when he's away, Alyssa. You can have me and Alyson all by yourself when he's not around."

Tinignan ko siya na may halong gulat at pagkadismaya.

"What happened to you? Can you even hear yourself? You're trying to cheat on your husband? Idadamay mo pa iyong bata?"

"Well, we're supposed to get married five years ago if not for his father. Right? Don't you wanna get your revenge? So, talagang nakapagmove on ka na with you boyfriend, huh?"

"For old time's sake, I'd pretend this conversation never happened. And to help you clear your mind up, I'll leave as soon as I can. Get a grip, Dennise. Don't you hurt your son. Gosh, you have a beautiful son, Dennise. He's got your eyes and your smile. Oh boy, I love that kid so much if I am being honest with you. Just- Just take care of him, Den. Okay?"

Nakatitig lamang ito sa akin at hindi na nagsalitang muli.

Iniwan ko na rin siyang mag isa sa may kubo. Baka kailangan niya lang ng time para makapag isip isip.

She wouldn't do that. She won't hurt her son.

No, she won't cheat on him, I mean if she's now really in love with him. Baka nalilito lang ito dahil sa tagal naming hindi nagkita.

But damn, baka kung wala silang anak- I wouldn't even think for a second.

Napailing na lang ako dahil sa thought na iyon.

Dennise, you'll be the death of me. *Sighs*

But how can she be saying those to me? She must be out of her mind. Tsk.

That was really tempting though. Phew.

"Uhaw na uhaw ah?", nakangising kantiyaw ni Ella noong nakita niya akong tuloy tuloy na uminom ng isang baso ng malamig na tubig pagkapasok sa bahay.

"Shut up. I'm going home today, hindi pa ba kayo sasabay?", bulong ko rito.

"Ha? Bakit? Nandito pa sila nanay ah? Saka Den asked if we can like bond or something over her condo later on."

"She's invited you three?"

"Oo, bakit?"

What a tease, Dennise.

What's gotten into her?

Shit.

"Bakit hindi na naman maipinta iyang mukha mo? Ano ba iyon?"

"D-Did she ask me to join you?"

"Ayun naman pala, ayaw pa diretsong itanong."

"No, Ells. Tsk. Can we talk upstairs? Bilisan mo, sumunod ka pagkaakyat ko."

-

"Ly! Buksan mo na."

I opened the door for Ella.

"What? Ano ba iyon? May pa ganito ka pa eh. Tanungin mo na kasi nang diretso. Para ka ring ewan eh.", nayayamot na sabi nito at umupo sa kama ko.

I sat on the chair across my bed.

"Ells, I don't know what's her deal, pero alam mo ba noong iniwan mo ako sa kubo? Pumunta siya doon and hay ewan. She's being really weird!"

"Bakit ano bang sinabi niya? Don't tell me hinalikan ka na naman ni Dennise?"

"Worse."

"Hoy! Too much info, Ly!"

"Siraulo! No, hindi ganoon. She said I can have her when her husband is away. That I can have her and Alyson if Luis is not around."

"What?", natatawang tanong ni Ella.

"That's what she said."

"She's suggesting na maging kabit ka niya? Ganoon?"

"Like I would?! I don't know, I don't know kung anong nasa isip niya at nasasabi niya iyong mga ganoon. But Ella, you know she would never do such. Lalo na ngayong may anak na siya. Oh my, I can't even imagine how those words came out of her mouth. Even I- have grown love for the boy, Ella. I know, tawagin mo na akong masokista pero I just feel love towards the kid. I don't want him to have a broken family dahil lang sa akin. No."

"Wow. Certified masochist, my friend."

"Whatever you say. Pero, ano nga? That's the reason why I wanted to get away from her, I mean not want but I know I have to. Mamaya kung ano ano pa ang maisip niya. Naguguluhan talaga ako. Tulungan mo naman ako, Ells!"

"Teka, oo na, oo na. Ang aga aga pinapagamit mo na agad iyong utak ko eh. Hay nako. Okay, first, why didn't you just ask her yourself? Paulit ulit naman tayo Alyssa eh, bakit ba ayaw mong kausapin siya nang masinsinan? But I just had an idea. Sumama ka mamaya. Don't worry babantayan kita, okay? Akala mo naman kung anong gagawin sa kaniya ni Dennise. Eme ka rin eh, 'no? Sige na. Sumama ka."

"Sure ka ba?"

"Oo, tapos tigil tigilan niyo na iyang mga pasikot sikot ninyo. Okay? Harapin niyo na iyan. Kung tapos na talaga, then so be it. Makakamove-on ka rin, hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal or kung paaano pero we'll be there for you, Ly. Pero if may chance pa, hep hep hep! IF and only IF meron, just talk it out. Know how you two can rekindle your love. Pero, Ly, nasa tamang edad ka na. You know what's right and what's wrong. I don't want you ending up ruining yourself again. Okay? Pray for the best but prepare for the worst. You get me?"

"Okay. Okay. Thank you, Ells. Tell her I'd tag along if that's okay."

"I will tell her."

I just smiled at Ella bago siya lumabas ng kwarto.

-

"Michelle, I'll be back as soon as I can. Enjoy your time with your friends. Okay? I'm sure the kid will be just fine dito sa bahay niyo. So, don't worry too much. I'll go now.", rinig kong paalala ni Luis doon sa isa bago nagpaalam na rin sa mga taong nasa may living room.

I continued pretending to watch the movie playing sa TV.

"Alyssa, nice seeing you again.", bati pa nito sa akin. Tinanguan ko lang siya pero he gave me a smirk kaya napataas ang kilay ko.

"Iho, aalis ka na? Hindi mo na ba aakyatin iyong bata sa taas? Baka hanapin ka.", tanong ni nanay rito.

"Hindi na po, mas masaya po iyon na kalaro ang uncle niya. Uuna na ho muna ako at malayo layo po ang byahe ko."

"Siya sige. Nasa labas ang mga magulang ni Dennise, magpaalam ka na lang sa kanila ha? Sige na iho, mag ingat sa byahe."

"Salamat po, nay."

Nay???

Halos mabali ang leeg ko sa paglingon kung nasaan si nanay.

Magkasalubong ang aking mga kilay noong humarap si nanay sa akin.

"Ayusin mo iyang mukha mo. Ikaw talagang bata ka."

"Kailan pa ho kayo naging close 'nay'?"

"Tigilan mo ako ha. Ayusin mo iyang attitude mo doon sa tao. Kitang kita ko iyang mukha mo noong binati ka niya."

"Aba, tinanguan ko naman siya nay ah? Teka, teka. Sino po bang anak niyo? Parang pati nanay ko maaagaw pa sa akin ah?"

"Bakit? Sino bang inagaw sa'yo?", biglang singit na naman noong isa.

Tsk. Sa inis ko, nakalimutan ko na narito nga rin pala siya sa may sala.

Nakita ko namang napailing nalang si nanay at lumabas na rin papuntang garden kung nasaan sina tatay, dad and mommy Arlene.

Pag balik ko sa upuan ko ay nasa harapan ko na si Dennise.

Lumayo ako agad dahil muntik na kaming magkauntugan.

"Ano ka ba naman, magkakabukol pa ako sa'yo eh. Ano ba iyon? May kailangan ka ba?"

"Sabi ko, sino bang inagaw sa'yo? Were you referring to me?", nakangiting tanong nito.

Ayan na naman siya.

Shit. Naalala ko na naman iyong sinabi niya 'you can have me when he's not around', tsk.

Baka kung anong maisip nito at magpumilit sa gusto niya.

I won't let her.

Yeah, I won't.

"Feeling mo naman."

Umupo ito sa tabi ko at kinuha ang isa kong kamay.

Mabilis kong hinala ang kamay ko at tumayo palayo sa kaniya.

"What's your deal, huh?", tanong ko rito.

By the way, bigla bigla talagang nawawala ang mga kasama namin kapag lumalapit sa akin si Dennise.

Parang sinasadya nilang umalis. Nakakainis, sabi ko naman kay Ella tulungan ako eh!

"What do you mean? Ah. That? Nakaharang iyong kamay mo sa uupuan ko, anong gusto mo mabali iyan pag inupuan ko?", mataray nitong sagot.

Wow, well she's back.

Hindi ko napigilang mapangiti dahil mas gusto kong magtaray siya kaysa kung ano anong naiisip niya.

"Right. Thanks, I guess?"

Tinaasan lamang ako nito ng kilay at kinuha ang remote ng TV.

Wait, anong ginagawa ko rito? Uupo ba ako? Or aalis?

Tsk. Teka, bakit ba ako iwas nang iwas?

I decided na umupo na lang ulit sa kabilang couch sa tapat nito at pinanood siyang magpalipat lipat ng channel.

"Manonood ka ba? Nahihilo na ako sa paglipat lipat mo eh.", inis kong sabi sa kaniya.

Tinignan lamang ako nito nang masama bago umirap at pinatay ang TV.

"Oh, nanonood ako tapos papatayin mo?"

Bigla itong ngumiti na parang may kung ano na namang naisip.

Ang bilis naman mag bago ng mood nito. Dapat pala talaga umalis na lang ako.

"Yeah. Well, why leave the television on when... I'm the one you're watching? Sayang lang ang kuryente. Don't you think?", mapang asar nitong tanong.

"What? You know what, whatever. Bahala ka na kung anong gusto mong gawin.", sagot ko sa kaniya at nang papalabas na ako ng bahay para doon na lang tumambay kasama ng mga magulang namin ay humirit pa ito ng isa.

"Oh, okay! Then I'll do exactly as you said."

That's when I've realized kung anong sinabi ko sa kaniya.

Bahala ka na kung anong gusto mong gawin.

Wow, tama nga si Ella. I'm just plain stupid.

Hindi ko naman na mabawi dahil mamaya iba naman pala ang ibig niyang sabihin pero bahala na, gagawin ko nalang kung anong sinabi ni Ella.

-

"AV! Are you going to mom's condo? Just the two of you, right?"

Huh? Why is he asking me that?

"What? N-No, bud. Your aunt Ella, Jessica and Julia will be joining us. Actually I'm just gonna tag along with them."

"Oh. Okay.", malungkot na sagot nito which made me more curious.

"Mom!!! I thought it was just gonna be you and AV?", pasigaw na tanong nito sa kaniyang mommy na kabababa lamang ng hagdan.

"She doesn't want to, hon. Let her be.", she answered.

Tumakbo ang bata rito at nagpabuhat sa mommy niya.

"But you said it's gonna be today?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll try to talk to her about it. Okay? I'm just waiting for the right time."

Mahina man ay rinig ko pa rin ang usapan nila as I wait for the four of them na matapos mag asikaso.

"Okay, mommy. Please. Don't make me wait too long, again."

"I promise, it won't take too long now. I love you, be on your best behavior while mommy's away. Okay?"

"Yes, mommy. I love you. Good luck, mommy! I hope you can do it today."

"Alright, hon.", hinalikan nito ang bata sa pisngi at muling tumakbo ito pabalik sa akin.

"AV, take care of yourself and mommy, okay? I'll see you when you get home! I love you!", he said and kissed me on my cheek.

"Oh, thank you buddy. You know that I love you too, right?", sagot ko rito at biglang abot tenga na ang kaniyang ngiti ng marinig ang sinabi ko.

He just nodded his head and ran back to his uncle Mosh and aunt Justine by the couch.

-

"Mag iingat kayo mga anak ha, ineng dahan dahan sa pagmamaneho.", paalala ni nanay nang makasakay ako sa driver's seat.

Malamang, driver na naman po tayo, opo.

"Yes, nay. Uuwi na ho ba kayo ng mga tatay ngayon?"

"Oo anak, we'll see you next week ha? Ang mga kuya mo ay aantayin ka roon kaya umuwi ka."

"Opo nay. Uuwi ako."

"Nay! Pwede po kaming sumama kay ate Ly?", tanong ni Julia habang nakayapos kay nanay.

Ginaya naman siya ni Jema at pumwesto sa kabilang side ni nanay at yumakap rito, "Opo nga nay, doon naman kami next week.".

"Nay, alam mo na po ha! Iyong paborito ko pong luto ninyo.", hirit pa ni Ella habang naglalakad papunta ng sasakyan.

"Ella, puro pagkain ang nasa isip mo.", saway ni Jema rito.

"Ikaw lang naman ang nasa puso ko. Yieeee!"

Natawa naman si Julia at si nanay.

"Iha, ayos ka lang ba? Kaya naman ni Ella magmaneho kung ayaw mo pumunta roon.", tanong ni mommy Arlene habang nakadungaw sa bintana ko.

"Mom, I'll be okay."

Nginitian ako nito at hinaplos sa ulo, "Sige, anak. Mag ingat sa pagdrive, okay?"

"Okay, mom."

-

I was fixing my shoes when I heard the front passenger's door opened.

"Besh, pasuyo nga ng phone ko ilawan mo lang ako rito saglit."

Sinunod naman agad ni Ella.

"Nice. Okay na besh, thank yo-", naputol ang sasabihin ko pag angat ko ng ulo.

Teka, where's Ella?

"- You're welcome.", sagot nito habang may pagkakalaki laking ngiti.

"Where's Ella?", tanong ko sa kaniya ngunit nagkibit balikat lamang siya at inayos ang seatbelt ng upuan niya.

"Jema nasaan si be-", muli, natigilan ako dahil... walang katao tao sa likod.

Umayos ako ng upo at nang akmang aalisin ang seatbelt para bumaba ay muling nagsalita si Dennise.

"They had urgent matter to attend to, Ly."

Dahan dahan kong binitiwan ang seatbelt at inilagay ang dalawang kamay sa steering wheel.

"Really? Sabay sabay talaga? Pasakay na iyong mga iyon kanina ah."

"Ang kulit mo kamo, ito na tatawagan ko pa para sa'yo.", agad naman niyang dinial ang number ni Ella.

-

"Yeah, I'll put you on speaker phone. Ewan ko diyan, ikaw na ang kumausap.", yamot na saad nito at iniabot ang phone niya sa akin.

"Ly? Sorry, nagpatawag bigla sila coach ng meeting. Last minute eh. Sabi namin may lakad ka at hindi makaka-attend. Kami na munang bahala ni MG. Enjoy kayo, ay I mean, samahan mo muna si Dennise.", sunod sunod na pagpapaliwanag ni Ella.

"Yeah, I'll call coach She later.", walang ganang sagot ko rito.

"Sige, basta sabihin mo na hindi ka makakapunta dahil may lakad kang importante. Makisama ka naman, mapapagalitan ako pag magkaiba na naman tayo ng statement sinasabi ko sa'yo!"

"Oo na."

"Besh! Dennise, mag ingat kayo ha. Text me when you get there."

"Thanks, besh!"

"O, okay na?"

Shit ka talaga, Jorella Marie. I should have seen this coming.

Meeting??? Sabado ngayon, kailan nagpa-last minute meeting ang management sa day off?

Tsk.

Should I just bail?

Yeah, I probably should.

"Let's go?", tanong muli nito.

Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako at walang nagawa kung hindi samahan siya sa condo unit niya.

-

"Dennise, should I just pick you up? Or have your husband pick you up if kaya niya mamaya? May lakad pala kami ni Ian today.", tanong ko rito nang makapagparada sa parking lot ng building.

"How about... no?"

"What? Den, may date kami ni Ian. I can't just bail on him."

"So you're just gonna bail on me, gano'n?"

I know I should bail on you, I know that's what is right to do, but how can I?

"Yeah? Isn't that what I am supposed to do?", tanong ko rito habang natatawa tawa pa.

"Just come with me for now, please?", she asked with her straight face.

Napalunok naman ako dahil she looks dead serious now. She looks terrifying when she does that but- terrifyingly beautiful.

"Fine. I'll just give him a call, mauna ka na roon."

Bigla namang bumalik ang matamis nitong ngiti.

"Okay. Don't keep me waiting, Ly."

"You're being too demanding for an ex, Dennise.", biro ko rito.

Biglang nawala na naman ang mga ngiti nito at napalitan ng lungkot sa mga mata.

"I'm kidding, okay? Didn't you get the humor in it?"

"Well, it offended me."

"I'm sorry, alright? You're not being demanding."

"No, I intend to be demanding. But I didn't get offended by that."

"Huh?"

Eh saan?

"You just called me your 'ex', and it offended me more than you could ever imagine.", she said and bumaba na ng sasakyan.

Napapikit na lang ako sa lakas ng pagbagsak nito sa pinto ng sasakyan niya.

"What the heck's wrong with her?"

*Sighs*

I tucked my phone sa bulsa ng shorts ko dahil wala naman talaga akong tatawagan.

Akala ko lang ay makakalusot kung sasabihin kong may date kami ni Ian.

But she still managed to make me stay, na ngayon ay hindi ko alam kung tamang desisyon.

Bahala na.

-

Nang makaakyat sa floor kung nasaan ang unit ni Dennise, I saw her knocking on ate Tere's door.

"Dennise, anong ginagawa mo riyan?", tawag ko rito.

"I thought they would be here.", sabi niya as she knocks one more time.

"Sabay ang duty nila today. May kailangan ka ba kay doc? Just leave her a message, I'm sure she'd get back to you as soon as she sees your message."

"Okay. Ibibigay ko lang sana itong snacks na binili ko for her. I know she'd love these.", sagot nito and shows me a paper bag full of assorted snacks.

"Yeah, she would love those. Give it to her when she's free by next week."

Tumango tango naman ito at sabay na kaming naglakad papunta sa unit niya.

Bakit papalakas nang papalakas ang tibok ng puso ko habang papalapit kami nang papalapit sa unit niya?

I should focus on my breathing dahil parang mawawalan na ako ng hininga.

"You okay?", alalang tanong nito sa akin.

"Hmm, okay lang ako."

"Alright. Let's go inside.", she said and gave me her beautiful smile.

Will you please stop that, Dennise? Baka hindi ako makapagpigil.

Please, ayokong magkasala.

Pagkabukas niya ng kaniyang unit... Nabigla ako sa tumambad sa amin.

What the hell is this?

---Author's Note:

Hello! Gotta get some sleep na! Good night! 🙈🙈🙈

See you next chapter mga kapatid! 🤝🏼💛🍋