14

Alyssa's P.O.V.

"Hey baby, wake up. Hon, come on, wake up.", I heard her voice calling out to me habang mahinang niyuyugyog ang aking mga balikat.

"D-Den?", mahina kong pagtawag rito while I struggled to open my eyes.

"Hmm. Good morning, sleepyhead. Are you awake now? Kanina ka pa umuungol while you're asleep. Bad dream?"

"W-What? I was j-just having a dream?"

"More like having a nightmare. Pawis na pawis ka oh. Come here.", she said at pinunasan ang noo ko bago humalik sa aking mga labi.

I felt her lips.

This must be true. This ain't a dream.

Oh thank God!

I pulled her in for a tight embrace.

"Oh my God! Oh my God, Dennise. You're okay. You're here. Thank God!", umiiyak kong sambit habang walang tigil sa paghalik sa buong mukha nito.

"What's happening, babe? What was your dream about?", she asked.

"It was something terrible, love. But I'm glad you're here. That you're okay. I thought I have lost you!", umiiyak ko pa ring sagot rito.

Pirming nakatingin lamang si Dennise sa akin, at bigla akong kinabahan.

"Baby? What's wrong?"

"Hey, Den.", tawag kong muli rito ngunit hindi siya sumasagot.

"I'm sorry, baby. I really have to go."

"What?? No, baby. No, you can stay right here. With me."

"I'm doing this for you. I love you, Alyssa. I'll be okay. Just live your life even without me.", she said and started walking away.

"Den! No! No! Please, don't go!", I shouted and tried going after her but she vanished into the dark.

My heart's pounding so fast and I feel like I'd be out of air any minute now.

"Dennise!", malakas kong sigaw as my chest heaves up and down.

"Alyssa? Ineng, ineng narito kami ng iyong mga tatay, naku mabuti at nagising ka na. Paulo, pakitawag ang doctor totoy, bilis!", alalang tawag sa akin ni nanay.

Wait. Where am I?

How did I get here?

Halos mapabalikwas ako nang maalala kung anong nangyari.

"Si D-Dennise, I have to go get Dennise.", nagmamadali kong sabi habang pilit iniaalis ang mga nakakabit sa aking katawan.

"Whoa. Hey, hey. Calm down. Ly.", mabilis na pagpigil ni Ella sa akin nang akmang tatayo na ako.

"Ells, where is she?? I have to go after her! Please!", tanong ko rito habang mahigpit na nakahawak sa kaniyang braso ngunit wala siyang kibo.

"Dad? Mom? Where's Dennise? We need to go and save her. We need to bring her home. Please."

"Nay? Tatay, please. Please let's go, right now. I can do this. We have to get her."

"Bakit hindi kayo sumasagot?", tanong kong muli sa mga ito noong wala pa rin akong nakuhang kahit anong sagot.

Bigla namang nagbukas ang pinto at pumasok si kuya Paulo kasunod ang doctor.

"Nay, doctor's here.", hinihingal na sabi ng kuya Paulo.

"Ms. Valdez? Hi, I'm Doc Rios. How are you feeling?", mahinahong tanong ng doctor habang chini-check ang mga nakakabit sa katawan ko.

I just gave her a nod.

"Doc, kamusta ho ang anak ko?", tanong ni nanay rito as she and tatay walk towards my bed.

"Well, she's doing okay so far with the last assessment done, no complications were found. But, I'll request additional tests to be conducted para makapagdecide tayo kung pwede na rin siyang makauwi."

I heard sigh of relief from almost everyone in the room.

"Salamat sa Diyos! And thank you so much, Doc Rios.", mom said and the doctor went out of the room after checking that everything's good with me.

"Anak. Kamusta ang pakiramdam mo? May masakit pa ba sa iyo?", nanay worriedly asked.

"Ineng, narito lamang kami ng iyong nanay ha. Tignan mo, narito rin ang mga daddy at mommy ninyo. Ang mga kapatid niyo naman ay nasa labas. Si Ella, ayan narito. Pati iba ninyong kaibigan ay naghihintay sa iyo sa labas. Kaya huwag kang pang hihinaan ng loob. Kasama mo kami.", tatay said as he held into my hands.

Isang tango lamang ang isinagot ko sa mga ito bago ipinaling muli ang atesyon kay Ella na tahimik na nakaupo sa may couch sa harap ng kama ko.

"Ella.", tawag ko rito.

"H-ha? Ako ba?", tarantang tumayo ito at lumapit sa akin.

Lumayo naman ang mga magulang namin at bumalik sa couch na kanina'y inuupuan nila.

"Bakit? May kailangan ka? Ano? Gutom ka ba?"

"No. Where's she?"

"Ly. You need to get you- "

"Damn it, Ella! Just tell me where she is! Please, she was just there. Their plane was there earlier. I was so close to her, Ells. Pero hindi ko pa rin sila naabutan."

"Alyssa. Anak, calm down.", suyaw ni Daddy Mike.

"H-How? Dad I was not able to save her! Hindi ko siya naabutan. I was almost there. Almost. Maybe I should go back, baka naroon pa sila Mr. Revilla. I'd beg him to bring her home. I- I need to get her home, please.", humahagulgol kong tugon rito.

"Ly, they wouldn't be there.", sambit ni Ella.

I looked at her, "I could still try."

"Besh, they wouldn't be there because... you've been out, like for a week. Ngayon ka lang ulit bumalik sa amin."

For a fucking whole week?!

"W-What do you mean? N-No. That's not possible. I was just there. Ella, I, I just saw her. I just saw Dennise. She - no, please.", umiiyak kong tugon rito.

And everyone started to cry while kuya Paulo excused himself and went outside.

Lumapit naman si nanay sa amin ni Ella.

"Anak, you need to get your strength back first. Okay? Paano ka lalaban kung mahina ang pisikal mong katawan? Paano mo siya ililigtas kung nasa ganitong kalagayan ka?"

"Nay, I need to get her back."

"You will, anak. Pero sa ngayon, kailangan mo munang magpalakas. We almost lost you too."

Napakunot naman ang noo ko sa sinabi ni nanay.

"You heard Ella, ngayon ka lang nagkamalay. Isang linggo kaming walang patid na nagdarasal na magising ka na."

"But I am okay now. We must think of ways to get Den back. Please. Please, I don't even know if she's okay."

"Iha, Dennise is okay. She was allowed to call us a day after nilang makalipad pa US. She said she's okay. She's just really worried about you, so you need to be okay too, anak.", mom said as she also approaches my bed and sat beside me.

"You were able to speak with her, mom? Was she crying? How is she? Is she hurt? What did she tell you mom?"

"She's okay, anak. She, uhm, she said you wouldn't have to worry and she'll figure a way to contact us again. You see your fiancé, she's a brave one. Right? So, if you don't want her to get worried about you kailangan mong pagpalakas and once you get your strenght back, we'll figure this out."

"Your mom's right. We need you to be strong. Both of you. We'll get through this, anak.", dad said while still sitting on the couch.

"Tama sila, ineng. Kailangan mo munang mabawi ang lakas mo. Bago natin harapin ang lahat ng ito. Okay? Magiging maayos rin ang lahat. Magtiwala ka lang."

-

I was told that everything will be okay. Na magiging maayos ang lahat.

But that was from three months ago.

Yeah. It's been three months since they've taken her out of the country.

Been three months since I last saw my beloved - with tears continuously falling from her eyes, with pain and fear written all over her beautiful face.

It has been three months and I still haven't heard anything from her.

"Heads up!", rinig kong sigaw ni Ella at inihagis ang dala nitong energy drink.

I was able to catch it before it hits me on my face.

"Thanks."

Narito kami ngayon sa park, malapit lang sa condo ko.

She's forced me to come with her for a jog. Ayoko sana kaso araw araw ako nitong kinukulit.

I've filed leave of absence sa company just a couple of days nang makalabas ako sa hospital.

Because I thought I could still find her go after her and bring her home.

I tried to get to her, I was in full spirit to save her but - that almost cost her her life.

"Ly, you should really think about this. Okay? One way or another he'd find out. Baka nga ngayon naririnig nila itong usapan natin, who knows? So please, slow it down.", suyaw ni Ella as I grab my passport from my closet.

"No way, Ells. No way I would just sit here and do nothing about it. I have to find her as soon as I can.", pagmamatigas ko rito at isinalampak sa maliit na duffle bag ang mga gamit ko.

"Alyssa. You have been warned by that shithead. Hindi ba? Do you really wanna put that into test? Hindi pa ba sapat na na-ospital ka ng isang linggo dahil sa pagkakahampas niyang ulo mo?"

"Ella, I'd fucking die if I have to para lang maiuwi ko siya! I have to do something Ells. I know she's waiting for me and I will save her."

"Besh. If she said she is okay, then she is okay. She does not want you to do anything stupid like this! You know that very well!"

"No, Ella. You too should know very well that if she says she is okay, then the truth is... she is not. So, I need to do everything to get to her."

Then we heard a knock from my unit's door.

"I'll get it.", sabi nito.

Maya maya pa ay bumalik siya sa kwarto na may dalang envelope.

"This must be for you, obviously.", sarkastikong sabi nito habang ipinapakita ang pangalan ko na nakasulat sa envelope.

My heart skipped a beat, in a weird way as she handed me the thing.

I gave Ella a nervous look but she looks way scared than I am.

I took a deep breath as I pulled out what's inside.

First page looks dull if not for something that's written in the middle part of the paper.

"If you're thinking of going after her, think again.", that's the only thing written on it and I've flipped it to the next page.

Napaupo ako sa kama dahil biglang nanghina ang mga tuhod ko.

"O, bakit? Ano ba iyan?", alalang tanong ni Ella.

Hinigpitan ko ang pag hawak sa papel na nasa kamay ko.

It was her.

It was a photo of her sitting on the veranda... just staring blankly.

The one who took her picture seems to be on a nearby area.

Hinablot ni Ella ang papel sa kamay ko.

"Oh shit. This must have been taken recently. Oh my gosh, besh. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! This is what I am telling you! You can't act rashly! Oh my gosh. Why does she look so different? Den, what happened to you?", naiiyak na sabi ni Ella as she scans the photo of her other best friend.

My heart sank, once again.

I know this was a warning. For some reason, they know what I have been up to and decided to wake me up from my fantasy - of saving my fiancé.

I was full spirited about going after her, about saving her and with that stupid courage I had in me - I've almost lost her, completely.

"Oh ano? Tutunganga ka lang riyan?", iritableng tanong nitong kasama ko.

I took a sip from the drink she gave me.

"I'm done here. Sinamahan na kita at naibigay ko na ang gusto mo. So please, stop bothering me again.", sabi ko rito at ibinato pabalik ang bote ng inumin sa kaniya bago naglakad papalayo.

"Alyssa! Hold up, wait for me!", sigaw nito at nagmamadaling humabol.

When she catches up with my pace nagsalita ulit ito, "Ly, you can't live like this. Your parents are worried about you. De- Her parents are worried about you. Everyone's worried sick about you. Hanggang kailan ka magiging ganito?"

Napahinto ako sa sinabi nito at humarap sa kaniya.

"Whoa. Why are you getting so worked up right now? I'm just asking you a question.", takot na sambit nito when she saw my face.

"What do you mean 'hanggang kailan ako magiging ganito'? Ella, I've lost the love of my life! I know I can fight for her, hell, I would even die for her pero I cannot even do that. I can't because if I do then she'd be the one to take all the pain. They'd make her suffer horrendously and ayokong mangyari iyon. So I got no fucking choice but to just continue breathing until my body stopped doing so. Please, don't tell me how to live my life. There's no meaning to it since I've lost her."

"Ah, okay. So ang siste ay hihintayin mo na lang na mamatay ka? Ganoon?"

"I've been thinking about just ending it, you know? But even that won't save her.", sabi ko rito at muling nagsimulang maglakad.

Sumunod naman ito.

"Pero Ly, do you think she'd be happy to know na ganito ka nabubuhay ngayon? Ly, she gave her life up so you could live yours. How can you not try? Huh? How can you put her sacrifices in vain?"

Once again, this statement made me stopped walking.

Sumisilakbo ang puso ko sa galit.

How can Ella say those words to me?

Put Dennise's sacrifices in vain?

"You must be out of your mind to be saying these words to me. Take a hike, Ells. Let's talk some other time."

"No, we'll talk about this right here, right now!", galit na sabi nito habang pilit akong pinaharap sa kaniya.

Good thing no one's around dahil it's only 5:40 in the morning, yet we're already arguing like this - out in the open.

Great place, Ella.

"Really, Ella? Here? Get some grip nga diyan sa mga turnilyo mo, parang nakalas na naman.", pang aasar ko rito dahil napipikon pa rin ako sa kaniya.

"Alyssa. Ikaw ang kailangang higpitan ang mga turnilyo. Besh, unang una sa lahat binitiwan mo iyong nag iisang bagay that would keep you sane. Really? LOA? And six months at that?! Anong gagawin mo sa loob ng six months? Magpapakalunod ka na naman sa alak? Oo, gabi gabi ka naming binabantayan for the past three months. Ano sisirain mo iyang sarili mo? Tapos? Babalik ba siya kapag nagkasakit ka? Makikita mo ba siyang muli? Maililigtas mo ba siya kung maoospital ka na naman? Ly, you're not thinking straight. I know, I know you need to go through the stages pero - I need you to get your head back to the game. To reality. Besh, you're uselessly grieving. Ruining yourself won't help you get her back. You know that!"

I sadly smiled at her, "I know. But the guilt and regret of not being there for her when she needed me the most vanishes whenever the bitterness of alcohol touches my lips. Every ounce of it helps relieving the pain no medication in this world could ever give. You might depict that as self destruction, but for me, that's the only way to live."

"Until when you'll do this to yourself, Ly? You can't live like this forever."

"I don't know. I don't know, Ells. Just let me do this until I get back to my senses."

Napailing na lamang ito at umuna na maglakad.

I sighed deeply.

"Dennise. I miss you so much, babe. Please take care of yourself.", bulong ko sa hangin at sumunod na rin kay Ella pabalik sa condo.

-

(Another three months later...)

"Welcome back, ate Ly!!!", sigaw ng mga teammates ko as I entered the gym.

Today, my leave of absence ends and wala akong ibang choice kung hindi bumalik.

My family and hers, yeah, Dennise's family - they kept telling me on.

I'm not irritated about it but I'm just so done listening to them all day long. They just won't stop, so here I am.

"H-Hey girls. T-Thanks.", maikli kong sagot sa mga ito habang isa isa silang lumalapit para yumakap sa akin.

"Welcome back, captain."

"Hi, ate Ly. Good to see you up and about."

"Good thing you are back, I can't handle these kids anymore. Now, you handle them again. Okay?", Michelle said.

"Wow, yeah. Thanks for covering up for me, MG."

She nodded at me and gave me another hug.

"Hey, ate Ly.", that was Jia.

"Hey, kid.", I greeted her back and welcomed her weight as she hugs me.

"I'm so happy to see you.", sabi nito habang nangingilid ang mga luha.

"I'm holding up. Don't worry, kid."

She nodded at me at bumalik na sa mga kasama namin.

"Ate, we're here for you. Okay? Na-miss kitang kasabay sa training. Ella can barely keep up with me.", natatawang sabi nito at tumingin kay Ella na nasa likod niya.

"Shut up. Ako lang talaga ang kayang sumabay kay Ly, since college 'no."

Napailing naman si Jema at bumalik na rin sa bench kung nasaan ang iba pa.

"Besh, I'm so proud of you. This is progress, right here. Okay?"

I just rolled my eyes on her that made her laugh.

"There we go. We're slowly going back at it again. I'm here, we all are. Okay?"

"I know, besh. Thank you."

She smiled at me and gave me a tight embrace.

Okay. This ain't so bad. I thought, until we reached the end of the training.

"Whaaaat?!.", I heard one of the girls exclaimed.

"What's up? Ohhh. Ella! Look at this. I'm so happy for her! Pero ang bilis ano? Nagmamadali ata iyong tatay niyang lalaki eh.", it was MG. Ang lakas ba naman ng boses.

"Huh? Ano iyon? Patingin nga.", sagot ni Ella at dali daling pumunta sa kumpulan.

Natawa naman ako dahil basta tsismis napakabilis nitong mga ito.

Lalo na iyang si MG at Ella.

"Oh my gosh, really? Nakaka-excite! Pero sayang kasi parang hindi na siya babalik to play ano? Pero still, nakaka-excite naman iyan.", one of them said.

Pag tingin kong muli sa mga ito, lahat sila mukhang masasaya bukod doon sa tatlo - Ella, Jema at Julia.

"Girls, what's up? Sino na naman iyang pinagchi-chikahan niyo?"

"Alyssa, halika tignan mo. I think she's preg-"

"- MG! Ano, uhm, please pakitapos na lang muna rito ha. May follow-up check up kasi itong si Ly. Mala-late na kami sa appointment niya. Ly, tara. Bilisan mo.", pagputol sa kaniya ni Ella.

Napakunot ang noo ko rito.

"Ells, wala ako-"

"- Meron. Okay? Akin na iyang bag mo, bilis. Halika na!", sabay hatak sa akin nito.

Noong palabas na kami ng gym, biglang sumigaw ulit si MG.

"Ella! Ito naman, isusurprise mo pa ba si Ly na your bestfriend is finally going to be a mom?!"

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad.

"That big blabbermouth. Shit.", Ella uttered under her breath.

I pulled my hand out of Ella's grip.

Sinamaan ng tingin ni Ella si Michelle.

I know bukod sa kanilang tatlo, Michelle somehow knows something. But I'm not sure and right now, I don't really care.

"Girls, I'll see you all tomorrow. Okay? Ingat sa byahe pauwi.", paalam ni Michelle sa mga ito at isa isa na silang naglabasan sa gym.

No one dared to ask, no one dared to say something to me on their way out.

Atleast they know when to and when not to talk to me.

And after a few, it was just the four of us left sa gym.

Tahimik lang na nakaupo iyong dalawang bata sa harap ko at si Ella ay halatang hindi mapakali na nakatayo sa tabi ng mga ito.

"Ano iyong sasabihin ni MG kanina?", kalmado kong tanong sa mga ito.

"Ly, we're not even sure if that news was accurate."

"What news? Julia? Jessica?"

"Ah, eh. Uhm, ate Ly. Si ate Ella na lang magsabi sa'yo. Hindi ko naman masyadong nakita what was that about.", pag iiwas ni Julia.

"A-Ako rin, ate Ly. Ella, ikaw na magsabi kay ate Ly tutal ikaw naman pinaka-unang nakasilip sa phone ni Mafe eh.", pagbabaling rin ng atensiyon ni Jessica kay Ella.

Pinandilatan niya ang mga ito ng mata and nervously smiled at me.

"So?"

She clicks her tongue before pulling her phone out of her pocket.

"Ly, I told you. This news ain't verified yet."

"Oh please, just show me whatever that darn thing's about."

Huminga ito nang malalim bago iniabot ang kaniyang phone sa akin.

"Business Giant Mr. Revilla's son, Luis Alfonso and daughter-in-law, Dennise Michelle - expecting to welcome their first baby few months from now; announced by their management."

If my heart could literally explode, not out of joy but out of rage and pain, sasabog ito nang sobrang lakas.

Parang tumigil ang mundo ko.

"Ly, I'd like to have our own kids someday.", Dennise said as we enjoy our breakfast sa may balcony.

"Yeah? Me too, babe. I don't care how long or expensive the procedure would be, as long as we get to meet our little ones. I pray they all take after you, baby."

"They all take after me? How many kids are we talking about, huh?", nakangiting tanong nito.

"Well, it's your body, hon. Kung hanggang ilan ang gusto at kaya mo, iyon rin ang gusto ko."

She chuckled her heart out before answering, "Oh well, as long as they are your kids I carry inside me, I really don't mind kahit ilan pa sila and I can't wait for that day to come."

I leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

"Whatever you want, Den. I love you so much."

"I love you so bad, Ly."

"Den.", at maya maya pa'y naramdaman ko na lang na gumagaan na ang ulo ko hanggang tuluyan akong natumba at nawalan ng malay.

Dennise, I love you.

-

"What happened to her, Ella?", I heard mom asked.

"Uhm, kasi tita, I don't know if you've seen the news, but this one right here - she insisted on looking at it."

"Oh no. Oh my gosh. How could this be happening to my babies? Oh gosh. My poor babies.", naiiyak na sabi naman ni mommy Arlene rito as she sat beside me.

I groaned when I felt a pang of pain in both my head and my chest.

"Iha? Are you awake? Call your ate Tere, Ella."

"Oh shoot. Ate Tere! Ate Tere!", nagtatatakbong sigaw ni Ella palabas ng kwarto.

"Anak, hey. Mom's here.", sabi ni mom as she held my hand.

"Mom? W-What are you doing here? Aren't you busy?", tanong ko rito as I helped myself na makaupo.

"Easy, anak. Take your time."

"Ineng? Hi, how are you feeling?"

"D-Doc. Bakit narito ka rin? Ang layo pa ng binyahe niyo parehas. Ella? I told you not to bother any of them if something like this ever happens, right?"

"Eh kasi -"

"Ano?"

"Ly, we decided to be here for you. And besides, it's my off today. And I'm just there next door, ano ka ba naman.", pabirong sabi ni ate.

"Huh?", I curiously looked at her, then mom and then Ella.

"What? You better stop glaring at me Ly. Next time na mangyari iyan, iiwan kita sa daan. Trust me.", inis na sabi ni Ella habang nakasandal sa may pinto ng kwarto.

Wait.

This ain't my room.

No. Why am I here?

My tears started to fall uncontrollably.

"Anak, what's the matter? Iha, Tere, please check on her.", mabilis na tumayo si mom at pinalitan ni ate Tere.

"Ly? Where are you hurt? Tell ate Tere, ineng."

I started clutching to my chest as I find it hard to breathe.

"Ineng. Breathe slowly, you gotta inhale through your nose sweetie and out through your mouth. Okay? We've been here before."

"Ate Tere? Shouldn't we run some sort of tests on her again? See if something's wrong inside her? I mean you're the expert but I feel like something inside her is not in good shape.", alalang tanong ni Ella but I saw mom giving her a soft nudge and nag kibit balikat lamang ito.

"Ly, you're gonna be fine. Just breathe.", ate Tere said.

After a few minutes, I was able to catch my breath.

"She just needs time to rest, tita. But I will have to begin sessions with her - the sooner, the better.", I heard ate talking to mom before she stepped out of the room.

"Ly, I'll make us something to eat. Any requests?", Ella asked.

I shook my head as response and she just nodded back at me before heading out.

"Here, take a sip, anak.", mom said as she handed me a glass of water.

"Thanks, mom."

After kong makainom ay kinuha at inilapag na ni mom ang baso sa bed side table.

"Hey, I'm sorry anak. I insisted to have you transferred here. I- I should have been more sensitive about how you'd feel."

"Mom, I am okay. Look at me.", then I gave her a huge smile with dimples under my eyes showing.

"Cry if you must, young woman. I know you're hurting.", naiiyak na sabi ni mom and I've finally lost it.

I hugged her tight as I cried my heart out, again.

"M-Mom, is it true? That she's p-pregnant? Now they even forced her to carry a child she never intended to have? M-Mom, what- what am I supposed to do? Paano si Dennise? Why am I this helpless? Why can't I just go and save her from all this mess? Is this really it, mom? Wala na ba akong magagawa to get her home? I feel so fucking useless, mom! I- I just want to bring my fiancé home.", paghagulgol ko rito.

"Anak, I don't know. I'm very sorry. Masakit rin sa akin ito bilang kaniyang ina pero alam ko na labis ka ring nasasaktan. But- iha, I don't think we can still do anything about it. I don't have anything to say for you to hold on to at ayokong bigyan ka ng false hopes. I know how much you both love each other, I know that deep down. But this ill-fated love story might have actually ended when they have taken her away from you, from all of us. If that is so, anak, you will have to live your life, even without her. I know it is hard but somehow, you should find a way to live your life. Just like how your Dennise wanted you to do. We love you anak and we'll always be here for you. As much as it breaks my own heart, I know I needed to tell you all these things."

"Please, mom. You know that I- I can't do it. All I ever wanted to do is to grow old with her, have a family of our own and spend the rest of our lives together. We've built our dreams together, mom. How am I supposed to achieve them all if she's not by my side? We're a team, mom. I cannot do this on my own. And why do I even have to keep on living if there's no reason for me to do so? Mom, she's my life. You all know that."

"But until when can you hold on to that? Anak, we don't even know kung nasaang parte ng US si Dennise. And now, with that news, will you still wait for her? What if they'd allow her to come home but just right after she gives birth to that child? If she comes home, what will you do? Will you dare to approach her? Will you dare to go anywhere near her if she's with her kid? Don't you think it will just kill both of you if she sees you? You both will be even more tormented, iha."

"So, do I just accept this ill-fated life?", I asked while wiping my tears.

Mom gave me a very sad smile, and kisses the top of my head.

Then Ella entered the room.

"Knock, knock. Food's ready. Tita, ako na pong bahala diyan. Kumain na po muna kayo ni ate Tere."

"Thank you, Ella. Anak, sumunod na kayo roon ha? We love you, anak. You should always remember that."

"I love you, mom."

At nang makalabas si mommy ay tinabihan agad ako ni Ella.

"What's up, bud? Did you cry? Gosh, you're such a baby.", pang aasar nito as she handed me something.

"I thought I should give it back to you. I saw that in your car after two days of your airport incident."

"What's this?", I asked.

"Just open it.", she irritatedly said.

"I'm not in the mood for you petty pranks, Ella."

"Ha! Just open it and tell me if that thing is still 'petty'. Bilisan mo para makakain na tayo!"

"Tsk. Fine."

It was our engagement ring.

I thought I have lost this.

My lips automatically formed a smile and my heart - although in terrible pain, remembers the unexplainable joy it felt when she gave this ring to me, afternoon of January the 1st.

"Baby!", she exclaimed excitedly habang tumatakbo papalapit sa akin.

"Careful, love. So, did you enjoy your time with your siblings?", I asked as I placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Gosh! I've missed you!", she said.

Natawa ako rito.

"Baby, that was what? Just four hours of being separated, you couldn't possibly miss me this much unless - you're dying to tell me something. So, what is it?", sabi ko namang pabalik rito.

Nakatanggap ako ng mahigpit na pagkakakurot sa tagiliran ko.

"Aw! Bakit ba? See? Na-miss mo ako pero aawayin mo lang naman ako."

"Na-miss kitang awayin! Nakakainis ka naman eh! Why do you have to know me so well? You almost ruined my mood but *she inhales deeply*, I will let that slide for now. Soooo babe, I know this ain't much but I did my best to find the perfect one for you."

"Huh? Perfect one? Na ano?"

"Tsk. Napakamainipin mo, Ly. Alright, close your eyes and count 1 to 10."

"1, 2, 3, 4 -"

"Do it slowly! Naman eh!"

Sigaw nito kaya binagalan ko na bago pa ako magkaroon ng butas sa tagiliran.

"8... 9... 10!"

"I love you baby.", she said with a wide smile plastered on her face and both hands holding out a small box, with a ring on it in front of me.

"W-What's this, babe? Is this for me? You got this for me?", hindi ko makapaniwalang tanong rito.

"Yes! I asked them to have it rushed so thankfully they did and asked them to somewhat make it similar with this - the ring you gave me last night.", she said happily while showing her own engagement ring I gifted her last night.

"Wow, babe. I'm lost for words. It's really beautiful. Thank you, Dennise.", sabi ko rito at hinila siya palapit sa akin bago mabilis na hinalikan sa kaniyang labi.

"Oh my gosh, babe. I'm not expecting this but I am really happy that you've done this for me."

"Of course, love. I want to show the world that you're mine. That you and I are set to lock that bond forever.", she answered and took the ring out of its box.

"Alyssa Caymo Valdez, will you accept this ring as a symbol of my endless love for you?"

Natawa ako sa tanong nito.

"Yes, Dennise Michelle. Wholeheartedly.", I answered and gave her my sincerest smile.

At agad naman nitong isinuot ang singsing sa akin.

We sealed the moment with a long, sweet and passionate kiss.

"I bet that ain't so petty then? Told you. Bilisan mo na riyan, kanina pa ko nagugutom. Sumunod ka na ha."

Hindi ko na pinansin si Ella hanggang tuluyan na itong makalabas ng kwarto.

"Den, how do I go on with this life? I can't just go on without you, love. I need you and I love you so much. I can't and I will never let go of you. I know ikaw rin. Alam kong hindi ka bibitaw sa ating dalawa. I love you so much, mahal. I miss you every single day. I think about you all day and all night long. I can't live without you, Den.", umiiyak kong sambit sa hangin habang pinagmamasdan ang singsing na nasa daliri ko.

All these people around me, they say I should start living my life - without Dennise.

How can that even be possible when SHE is my life?

I know it's hard, but I will never give up on us. I will continue waiting for our time to come. For a single chance to get her back.

If that time comes, I'll move heaven and earth - to get her home.

-

Dennise's P.O.V.

"Michelle, you have to try. Okay? You'll have to eat something, come on", LA said for the nth time now.

"Please, LA. Just finish your food, wala akong gana."

"Michelle, If Alyssa finds out about this, she'd be really worried about you and your health. Akala ko ba ayaw mo siyang mag alala? Come on, start eating."

Ayan na naman siya, isang banggit niya lang ng pangalan ni Alyssa my heart would always skip a beat as if Ly would really know about how reckless I've become with my health. With myself.

It has been a week now since I have been brought to this place. I know we are in the US, but I don't know exactly where I was brought to.

At kahit makalabas ako rito sa mismong bahay na tinutuluyan ko, I will never get to see what's on the outside dahil napakalawak nitong lupa nila LA at puro mga puno at kawalan lang ang makikita mo kapag sumilip ka sa bintana.

I don't even know how I survived the first night I spent here but now - a week has already passed.

"As if she will ever know.", mahina kong sagot rito at nagumpisa na ring kumain pero after ng tatlong subo ay tumigil na rin ako. I can't seem to digest anything. I just can't.

"But it works, every single time. See? Bukas makaka apat na subo ka na. It's progress, Michelle.", pagbibiro nito.

I took a deep breath, ignored his comment and walked towards the veranda outside.

I sat down on a chair, brought my knees to my chest, hugged them and rested my chin on top of it while I starred blanky in front of me.

"Ly? Can you hear me? How have you been for the past few days? Nakauwi ka na ba? Gosh, I really pray so.", bulong ko sa hangin as I pray that these words reach her, somehow.

"I- I am okay, love. Don't worry about me, please. I can handle this. I know we will get through this, if hindi man ngayon- no matter how long I'd have to wait, how much pain I'd have to endure or how broken I'd become, I will hold on to you. I will continue living for you. Gosh, Ly, I miss you so bad. Para na akong mababaliw kakaisip kung papaano pa tayong magkikitang muli. I love you so much, Alyssa. I hope this ain't the end of it, the end of us. Hindi ako mapapagod na magdasal hanggang sa maingayan si Lord sa akin at dinggin ang mga dasal ko. I love you so much, Schmoopy.", umiiyak kong sambit na tila ba ay naririnig niya ang lahat ng ito.

I love you so much, Alyssa. I didn't know I could love you even more.

"Michelle?"

Mabilis akong nagpunas ng luha at umayos ng pagkakaupo.

Tumingin ako rito at saka siya lumapit sa akin.

"Michelle, I know this is a very tough time for you. But something came in the mail, it's from- dad."

Napakunot ang noo ko rito.

"What is it this time that your evil father wants from me?"

"Here.", iniabot niya ang isang white envelope sa akin.

Agad ko itong binuksan dahil wala naman akong ibang choice kung hindi tignan kung ano mang laman nito.

"What?! No fucking way!", galit kong itinapon sa sahig ang sulat na galing sa tatay nito.

"How could your father do this to me?! Wala akong ginawang masama sa kaniya, kaming lahat. How can he be this mad? LA, your dad's out of his fucking mind! How can I allow that to happen, huh? You tell me!"

"Michelle, please don't look at me like I wanted any of these to happen."

"Luis, how can I carry someone else's kid inside me, huh? I'm not even inlove with you! This whole thing- this whole thing is just so fucked up because of your father's fucked up mind! I can't do this, Luis. Please. Don't let me do this. Please. I- I've already given up my life, isn't that good enough? Please, kahit ito lang. Kahit ito lang ibigay mo na sa akin. Please, maawa ka.", pagsusumamo ko rito.

Napatigil si Luis sa mga sinabi ko ngunit maya maya rin naman ay muli siyang nagsalita.

"Michelle, he said he'd allow you to go home after you give birth to the child. He'd allow you to be with your family and friends- but not her."

"Luis, please. Naririnig mo ba iyang mga sinasabi mo? Would you really have me carry your child? Kahit alam mong I don't want to do it? Kahit alam mong iyon na ang pinakatatapos sa pagkatao ko, of what's left of it anyway. Please, Luis. Don't make me do this. I'm begging you.", patuloy kong pagsusumamo sa kaniya as my tears began to escape.

"Michelle, only if I could stop him, simula pa lamang ay ginawa ko na sana ang lahat para hindi ka na umabot sa ganitong punto. I'm so sorry, Michelle."

"No, no, no, no. Luis, please. If you really loved me, you won't make me do this. Please, I'm begging you. Luis, please."

"I'm so sorry, Michelle. I'll let you know when I come up with something. Okay? I'm very sorry.", sagot nito and left me outside the veranda.

"No! No! No! You all can't fucking do this to me! Please, please just end me now. What are you all waiting for?! I'm good as dead! I'm fucking good as dead the moment you've taken me away from her! Damn you, all! Damn you, all."

No, please. Please help me get out of this.

I can't. I can't do that. No.

-(Six months later...)

"Michelle, they said they'd make the official announcement today. Will you be okay?", LA asked as he prepare to go to his office.

"Funny how you always ask me about your dad's decisions, Luis. As if I have a say about any of them.", I answered sarcastically.

"Neither of us do, okay? But atleast let me know how you feel about them. Anyway, I'll get going now. I'll see you after work, okay? Alagaan mo ang sarili mo. Hindi ka pwedeng mapagod, you know what the doctor said, right? Remember the baby, Michelle."

The baby. Right.

"Take care.", iyon lamang ang naisagot ko rito.

"Okay."

"Roger, let's go. Please put my things in the car.", tawag ni LA sa tauhan ng tatay niya na ginawang personal bodyguard nito.

"Okay, sir."

"Sige na, I'll be out in a minute."

"Yes, sir.", sagot muli noong bodyguard niya.

Nang makalabas ang tauhan nila ay agad bumalik si LA papuntang kusina kung nasaan ako.

"Michelle, we gotta be careful. Okay? Mas naging mahigpit si dad dahil sa baby. We've talked about this, right? You know how this is gonna go down. So, please. Just hang on a little bit more. Okay? I'll see you by dinner.", he said and gave me a tap on my shoulder.

I just nodded at him.

Habang naglalakad papunta ng pinto ay siya namang pagpasok muli ng kaniyang bodyguard.

"What? Let's go. I told you I'd be out in a minute."

"Sorry, sir. Your dad's secretary has called me. Pinagmamadali na kayo."

"Alright, alright. Sige na.", sagot nito at tuluyan na silang nakalabas ng bahay.

Mas naging bantay sarado ang bawat galaw pati na rin ang mga pinag uusapan namin, though LA made sure this house ain't bugged but there are security cameras all over the place bukod sa mga banyo at sa kwarto ko. Para raw if I ever tried to hurt myself, they would come and get to me right away.

Sabi ko nga noon, that filthy old man won't allow me to die. And he's been doing a fucking great job with that.

And yes, kwarto ko. LA was good enough not to force me to sleep with him in the same room. Which I appreciate a lot.

It has been half a year now since inilayo ako sa taong pinakamamahal ko.

But even so, it is still the same scenario for me every single day and night- I'd cry myself to sleep and I'd wake up in the morning just to live this miserable life I have now.

I looked at a piece of sonogram I have in my hand.

It shows an image of a baby that's on the end of the first trimester.

Just six more months, the baby will finally arrive. And I will be allowed to go home.

Tumayo ako papuntang living room kung saan may malaking salamin.

I scanned myself in the mirror. I look horrible. Gosh, this is why I hate looking at this mirror.

But today, I decided to still check on myself.

I placed my hand on my belly and felt the small bump on it.

"You're my ticket home, so please- help me get through this."

Ly, please just wait a little bit more. I'm coming home.

-

"Dad, yes, yes. We've sent you all the documents, right? It has been certified by an OB-GYN. Yes, and I don't want any of your people coming into the facility. You'll get to see the kid once everything has been settled. Let me take care of my wife and our baby. Okay? I don't want her getting stressed out if she sees you or any of your people, so please I am begging you - don't you send any of your people. Let us handle this like a normal married couple atleast for once, okay? Alright. We'll see you soon.", that was LA talking to his father.

His father calls him round the clock lalo na ngayong malapit na lumabas ang bata.

Yes. Another six months have passed already.

Nothing has changed with me except the fact that I will become a 'mother' to Luis' child.

I've got no choice, this is my only way to get back home.

We're now on our way to the facility where I am supposed to 'give' birth to the kid.

LA did not allow any of his father's men to accompany us and his father seems to accept this demand from his child.

And no, his father and I never had to meet during my stay here in the US which somehow, helped me to keep my sanity.

"Michelle, you're hanging there okay? Malapit na rin tayo sa facility."

I just gave him a nod.

"Good. It's okay, we're gonna be okay. Alright?"

"I hope.", maikli kong sagot.

Alyssa, this is it. Just give me a few more days, I'd be home in no time.

I love you so much, Ly. I hope you'd understand all the decisions I had to make while I am away.

I had to do this for you. Everything I have been doing here is for you.

I just really cannot wait to see you again, love.

-

"Of course, and we appreciate you doing this for us, tita. Thank you so much for your help.", LA said as he bid farewell to the doctor who led the delivery procedure.

"Luis, you know how much I doted on you when you were still a kid and even until now, and this is the only way I can help you. Just know that my sister- your mom, loves you very much and I know she is so proud of you.", the doctor replied.

"Thank you, tita. Paano, uuwi na muna po kami ni Michelle pati ng bata. Take care tita, alright? I'll visit you and tito some other time."

"Okay, iho. Michelle, you did great, okay? Take care of the kid and yourselves."

"Thank you po.", sagot ko rito.

I held the child in my arms as Luis pushes my wheelchair to the car.

Luis assisted me and the kid carefully hanggang makasakay ng kotse.

"Hey, Michelle. Thank you for doing this, you've done a wonderful job.", pagpupuri ni LA sa akin as I settle on my seat.

"You, too. We did good. Look at this kid. We'll take good care of him.", sagot ko rito.

"I know. You'll be a great mom to him.", natatawang sambit nito bago pinaandar ang sasakyan.

I just scoffed at him.

"What? I'm just saying."

"Whatever. I'll do my best to take care of him. Pero LA, I won't lie to you, I'm very excited about going home. I've missed my family so much. Halos dalawang beses ko lang silang nakausap because your dad won't allow me to. Remember? Noong unang dating natin rito tapos noong araw na ini-announce iyong pregnancy pagkatapos noon ay wala na.", malungkot kong sabi rito as I remembered my last conversation with mom that day.

"Baby? Hey, anak? Yes mommy is here. Narito ako sa unit mo. Actually I'm with Ella and your ate Tere."

"Ate Tere? What is she doing there? Ella, too? Teka mom, bakit po ba kayo nandiyan?"

"Ah, ano kasi anak. Uhm, may inasikaso lang ako sa papeles ng unit mo. Nothing much to worry about. Ikaw iha? I've seen the news."

"Mom, you know I don't have much of a choice as much as it breaks my heart. I have to obey whatever they ask of me. You know what? Even this conversation is being recorded. They want to make sure I won't make any contact with her. Mom... Is she okay? Do you know where she is now?"

"Anak, uhm. Yes, yes. I think she is okay. I really haven't met her since, you know. But I know she is okay."

"Mom, if you ever get a chance to talk to her, tell her how much I love her. Please tell her not to worry about me. Tell her to take good care of herself, mom please. I don't know if makakauwi pa ako. Tell her not to wait too long, mommy she needs to live her life too. I cannot just ask her to wait for me, because what if... what if this is really the end of us? There's no more guarantee na makakabalik pa ako sa kaniya given the situation, mom. I don't want her to wait forever. I don't want her to live just for me. Tell her to live her life kahit na wala ako, mom. Tell her that I will be okay here, as long as she lives her life. Please mommy, tell her that she needs to start moving forward. And if she ever learns about this news, alam ko it will devastate her so much. Oh my gosh, mom. What if she's already heard about it? Mommy, let me talk to Ella please.", umiiyak kong sambit rito.

"Ella, anak. Come, quick.", halos pabulong na tawag ni mom rito.

"Si Dennise."

"What?! Oh my, tita can I put he-"

"- Ella, shh. No, no. Just be quick. Just listen to her."

"Mom? What's going on?"

"Anak, Ella has somewhere to go urgently, so if may kailangan kang sabihin make it quick. We all love and miss you anak ko. Please take care of yourself and don't worry, I'll tell her all those things you've said. Okay? Don't worry, everything will be okay, anak. I love you, princess. Here's Ella, anak."

"B-Besh? Dennise Michelle? Oh my gosh, Dennise. How are you doing? Okay ka lang ba diyan? Kumakain ka ba ng maayos? Hindi ka ba nila sinasaktan?", umiiyak na bungad ni Ella.

"Ella."

"Ma'am, you only have another two minutes left. I will have to take it back.", paalala ng isa sa mga tauhan ng mga Revilla.

"Besh, I am okay. I don't have much time. Just listen to me very carefully. If ever she finds out about the news, be there for her. Hold her tight. Tell her that everything is going to be okay. Don't you ever leave her side, okay? Make sure she takes care of herself. Ella, don't allow her to ruin herself. Please, kilala ko si Ly. I know she would be very devastated about this news. Ells, I don't really have any choice. You know that. But I love her so much and gosh, I don't know. Ella, maybe we really have been robbed out of our chance to achieve those dreams we once built together. Maybe this is it, and if so, please I am begging you. Help her to live her life without me. Please, Ella."

"Dennise, don't worry. I will take care of her. Okay? Don't worry about her. Just please, ikaw rin. Huwag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo. Den, she loves you very much, too. Please know that. She misse-" Ella's line suddenly got cut off.

"Ells?! Ella?? No please."

"Ma'am, your two minutes are up. I'm sorry. We'll take the phone back."

"Please, sir. Let me speak with my mom again. Please."

"I'm sorry.", he said and grabbed the phone out of my hand.

Den, she loves you very much, too. Please know that.

"Ly. I love you so so so much, I miss you, baby. Everything will be okay. Dom't worry.", humahagulgol kong sambit sa hangin.

Dalangin na sana ang mga salitang tinuran- kahit papaano'y makarating.

"I know, Michelle. You've waited so long for this moment. I'll talk to dad later, okay?"

"Yeah, okay.", maikli kong sagot rito.

-

"Dad! You can't do this. No, damn it! You've promise you'll allow her to get home to her family and friends! I'm sure you have threatened her and Alyssa more than enough not to break your fucking rules! Hindi ka pa ba nagsasawa?! Nakuha mo na ang lahat lahat ng gusto mo sa kanila kahit wala silang kasalanan sa iyo. How could you be this cruel?! Damn it! Just let her go home to her family, please dad. I am begging you."

"No, I'm sorry. Please, dad. Don't make this any more complicated. Gosh, you're impossble! Hello? Dad? Dad?! Damn it, old man!"

"LA, what happened?", mabilis akong lumapit rito ng maisaayos ang bata sa kaniyang tulugan.

"Michelle, I'm so sorry. I don't have any other way to say this so let me just say it anyway. Okay? Dad said he won't allow us to go back to the Philippines until the kid turns five, he wants to make sure you won't be able to abondon the kid even if you get to go home sa family mo."

"What?! No! Luis! Your dad can't do this to me! Luis, your dad said if we give him what he wants, he'll allow to go home! Damn it! You cannot do this to me! I've followed everything he's ordered me to do para lang makauwi ng Pinas! You gotta do something about it, Luis!"

"Michelle. Lower your voice, the child could hear you."

"Damn this shit! Luis! Please, nagmamakaawa ako sa'yo. Talk to your father once more. I have to go home, we've talked about this. Right? We've done everything we could para maibigay lahat ng gusto ng ama mo! Please, I need to go home.", umiiyak kong pagmamakaawa rito.

"I'm sorry, Michelle. You know how dad is. If he says it is final, we cannot do anything about it."

Napapikit ako at napaluhod sa sahig habang patuloy na humahagulgol.

"No, I- I have to go home, Luis. I cannot live like this anymore. Please."

Umupo ito at niyakap ako.

"I'm so sorry, Michelle. I'm so sorry."

And with those words, I know wala na kaming magagawa but to wait for that time to come.

Kung makauuwi pa man ako after five years, hindi ko alam kung may maaabutan pa ako.

Hindi ko alam kung mahihintay pa ba niya ako.

I know I have told my mom and Ella na sabihin sa kaniyang huwag na masiyadong maghintay at umasang magbabalik pa ako.

But that was me thinking about her.

I just don't want her to keep her hopes high.

But I never said that I want her to give up on me, on us.

I still wanted her to hold on to our love.

I still want her to wait for me, no matter how long.

I still want her to welcome me with her warm embrace when I get a chance to escape this cruel world I am currently living on.

I still want us to continue our love.

But with all these things that are happening to me, I could only hope that somehow, Alyssa knows that I still want her.

That I- I still love her very much.

Ly, please. Please get me home.

-

Alyssa's P.O.V.

"And before our program ends, of course we would like to congratulate one of our dearest friends, Dennise Lazaro-Revilla for safely bringing their first born into this world! Congratulations, Denden! We are so proud of you! And wow look at that information we just confirmed, she and LA had a baby boy! Wow! Congratulations again! And with that, we are ending this with anoth-", that was Gretch on her TV program's ending remarks.

My world just crashed.

She just had her baby. 'Their' baby.

With that bitter reality, I chugged down a whole bottle of beer I have in front of me.

But it was not bitter enough to wash that thought away.

She just had her baby.

A baby boy at that.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Revilla! I hope you'd have a very happy life with your oh-so-precious little family.", galit kong pagbati sa isang malaking framed picture of Dennise na nakasabit sa wall ng condominium ko.

What am I doing? Waiting on her to come back?

"Pathetic. Fucking pathetic life."

Bakit pa ba ako umasang someday, uuwi siya rito and might still want to get back with me?

"Mukhang maganda na ang buhay mo diyan, Dennise. I wonder if you still think about me? Or have you really moved on with that fucking Luis Alfonso and decided to just forget about me? And now, may anak na kayo. Wow, Mr. Revilla really has done his job well. Ohh, maybe he'd allow you now to go home dahil may anak ka na? Dahil nabigyan mo na siya ng tagapagmana? Ano naman kung makauwi ka rito? Well, I mean that's great news for your family dahil miss na miss ka na nila, but for me? It will just be a fucking mess. It will mess my life all over again to see you happily married to that shithead and enjoying your first time mom era. But hey, congratulations again! Here's to you and your sweet family!", sarkastikong bati ko rito bago nilaklak muli ang isa pang bote ng alak.

Out of extreme emotions piled up inside, inihagis ko ang bote sa sahig at pinagbababasag lahat ng frames na nakasabit sa pader.

But not her picture.

"Fuck! Fuck all this! Dennise, I'm sorry. I should not have said any of those. I don't even know kung anong kalagayan mo diyan for the past twelve months. I know you've been forced to do this, mahal. I know that deep inside but please, please understand that this will never be easy for me to grasp. None of these things make any sense to me. I love you, I love you so much.", umiiyak kong sambit rito habang nakatingin sa kaniyang malaking litrato.

"It must have been so tough, Den. I'm sorry that you had to go through all this para lang mapanatili akong ligtas. But look at me, I'm just a whole fucking mess. I have been trying to ruin my life since I have lost you but all you ever did was to make sure I get to live my life. But how? How do I do just that? I've tried everything, babe. Both our families and closest friends tried helping me to live my life- but none of them succeeded. Love, ikaw lang ang kailangan ko. Please, please come home. If you tell me yourself to get a grip and just let you go, okay. I will do just that. But as long as I don't hear those words from you, if you're not the one who's gonna tell me to just let you go, I will never do that. I will always hold on to you. I love you, Dennise. I'll always do."

"Dennise, don't worry. I will take care of her. Okay? Don't worry about her. Just please, ikaw rin. Huwag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo. Den, she loves you very much, too. Please know that. She misses you too!", I heard Ella talking to someone over the phone.

"Ells? Mom? Who was that?", tanong ko sa mga ito as I got out of Dennise's room.

"Anak! Uhm w-wala. Halika, kumain ka na muna.", gulat na sabi ni mom as she seems to wipe her eyes.

"Were you crying mom? Ella? Ikaw rin? Hold on. I thought I've heard you calling Dennise's name? W-Was that her?"

"She said she loves you so much, Ly. And not to worry about her.", Ella said while still crying.

"WHAT?! THAT WAS HER? DAMN IT ELLA! YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME! CALL HER BACK! DANG IT, GIVE ME THAT!", galit kong sigaw rito bago kinuha ang phone sa kaniyang kamay.

I tried calling the last number on the call's history.

"The number you have dialed -"

I tried multiple times just to hear the same thing the operator was saying.

"Mom? Mommy, you should have called me. Why didn't you?", habang hawak pa rin ang cellphone at kinuha ko ang dalawang kamay ni mommy Arlene at umiiyak na nagtanong rito.

"Anak, believe me I wanted to. But she said her call is being monitored to ensure she does not speak to you in anyway. We cannot put her into that risk, you know that very well. I am so sorry, anak."

"Dennise.", iyon na lamang ang nabanggit ko habang patuloy na pinagmamasdan ang huling tawag na mula sa kaniya.

"She does not want you to worry about her, Ly. Especially about the news you've heard.", sabing muli ni Ella.

"Oo, anak. She does not want you to worry. She also said not to wait for her for too long, Ly.", mom added.

"What?"

"She said she does not know if makakauwi pa siya given the situation, so she said she can't keep you waiting on her forever. She also wants you to try your best to live your life without her. Please, anak. This is her asking you. Please, you can't just ruin your life because of her. She gave up on hers so that you could live yours. Please, you gotta listen to her.", mom pleaded.

"Just... Just give me some time alone, mom. I'll keep in touch.", maikling tugon ko rito as I grabbed my car keys which I assume Ella used to bring me here sa condo unit ni Den.

"Besh, no. I cannot let you leave. You're in no condition to drive. Please.", pagpipigil ni Ella sa akin.

I swatted Ella's hand,"Please, I need time to think. Ate Tere, thank you for checking up on me. Mom, I love you. I'll be okay. Don't worry. And Ella, thank you. I'll be fine. Just need some time alone. I'll call you."

And after I've left the condo, I never contacted any of them again for several months.

I've continued to file another LOA, I was able to talk to one of my friends from Batangas na isang doctor to write something up for me. At iyon ang ginamit ko para makapagpa-approve ng another LOA.

I have been MIA for so long.

I have been living in one of our safe houses here in Siargao, I made sure none of our housekeepers tell a soul that I am here.

Anong ginagawa ko rito?

Wala naman. I'd just drink myself to sleep every night.

And when the morning comes, I'd find a way to know what is happening with her life.

She never appears in public while Luis, being the one who manages their business abroad- I see him a lot sa mga news articles or magazines.

But never got a chance to see her.

I only read the news about her pregnancy journey from the Revilla's website.

They said she and the baby are in good shape and it will just be about a month or so that they'd expect her to finally give birth.

I don't even know what I was doing.

Maybe this was the only way for me to know about her status. Or kung kamusta man lang ba ito.

Her being pregnant still has not come down to me yet, or baka pagod na lang rin akong makaramdam pa ng kahit ano?

Hindi ko alam. Am I still hoping she'd come home to me eventually?

What if she does and kasama na niya ang anak nila?

What if... she's already moved on?

Baka kaya sinabi niyang huwag na akong maghintay?

Baka natanggap na rin niya ang lahat?

I don't know and I couldn't care less.

I will wait for her no matter what. No matter how long it would take.

I will wait for her to come home and I will just cross the bridge when we get there.

Dennise, I will keep on waiting for you.

I love you so much and I know someday you'll find your way back to me.

I hope it is still not too late when that day comes.

I love you, Dennise.

-

Author's Note:

Hello! Hope you guys are okay and safe this time of bagyo 🤧

But here, magbasa na muna kayo para naman sumaya saya ang araw niyo! 🤷🏻

See you next chapter! 🤝🏼💛🍋