6

Alyssa's P.O.V

I just ripped my heart open to Dennise.

I told her about what happened after she left.

I told her about Kiefer and I.

I just told her my side of the story.

But...

When will I ever hear her story?

There's something that's going on but I can't put my finger on it.

She said she can't talk about it and begged me not to push her into letting me know.

I love her so much and I won't even dare to ask her about it ever again.

"But I will still find out what happened.", sabi ko sa sarili ko.

"Ano na naman yang i-fi-find out find out mo ha?"

Muntik ko ng matapon yung iniinom kong kape sa gulat sa taong ito.

"What the hell!? Ano ka ba naman Ells bigla bigla ka nalang lumalabas kung saan saan. Geez!", inis kong sambit rito at pinagpagan ang damit ko sa mga tumalsik na kape.

"Whoa. Grabe magugulatin ka na ngayon? Bakit ba kasi mag isa ka rito? Saka ano na naman yang i-fi-find out mo? Mag usap naman tayo ngayon lang kita macocorner eh.", sabi nito sabay umupo sa kanina'y inuupuan ni Dennise.

Yeah after we've talked, we stayed here for a couple more hours without even talking. Just feeling the presence of each other at maya maya ay tinawag siya ni Justine dahil magtitingin raw sila ng damit online kaya napag isipan ko na lang na mag stay pa rito at magpahangin.

"Si OA, araw araw ko na nga lang nakikita iyang mukha mo eh. Iniiwasan ko lang na kasawaan ka Ells kaya di ako masyadong nakikipag usap sayo.", pang aasar ko rito.

"Wow. So pag kayo ni Dennise hindi kayo nag kakasawaan sa isa't isa? Kapag ako hindi niyo kayang tagalan ng mga ilang minuto? Aba makapag team up akala mo eh sila pa rin. Tsk tsk."

"Oh shut up. Bakit ka ba nandito?"

"Paanong hindi? I had to escape from Dennise 'no. Pagpasok niya sa loob nanlilisik ang mga mata sa akin. Saka bakit parang umiyak na naman yun? Teka nga, pati ikaw? Patingin nga!", sabay tumayo at pinilit na tignan ang mga mata ko.

"Ayun. Nag iyakan sila. Malamang may nalaman iyon na hindi naman dapat. Or aawayin ako nun for keeping it from her all this time. Hay nako, parati na lang akong naiipit sa mga ka-dramahan niyo!", sabi niya sabay kinuha ang kape ko at lumagok rito.

"Eh kung bakit ba naman kasi hindi mo na lang sabihin sa akin kung ano man yang nalalaman mo rin about her. Lahat lahat para matapos na to."

"E di pati ikaw natapos.", mahina nitong sabi pero tama lang para marinig ko.

"What did you say? Ako? Matatapos?"

Nakita kong napapikit siya at huminga nang malalim.

"Shit.", bulong niyang muli.

"Ella. I have been begging you to tell me what really happened for the past years. I'm dying to know what happened but neither of you wants to let me know. Besh, you know that whatever it would take I will get my answers, right? So would you rather see me taking the risk or would you tell me now?"

"Alyssa don't use that tone with me. If Dennise couldn't and wouldn't tell you, why would I? Bakit ako? I can't. Ly, there must be a reason. There is always a reason and hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon dapat malaman mo pa iyon."

I took a deep breath before speaking up again.

"I just told her about the contract, Ella."

"Oh no, no you did not.", her face suddenly became even more serious.

"I did."

"Ella mahal ko si Dennise and being with her for so many years I can say I can still see through her. There's something wrong. I don't know but, s-she's not happy."

"That's not for you to tell. It has been a long time Ly. Marami nang nagbago. Maybe she isn't the same Dennise from before. Huwag mo siyang pangunahan. Ano't ano pa man ay magpapakasal pa rin siya sa iba. Baka masaktan ka lang. I do love you both pero if tapos na talaga, maybe we should let it go.", sabi ni Ella with a sad tone.

"Why do I feel like you're telling me all this with your mouth but your eyes are asking me to do otherwise? Damn it, besh. Am I just supposed to sit and watch?", I asked Ella.

"Hindi ko alam Ly pero I heard the wedding date has been pushed pa dahil sa injury ni Den and all. You still got atleast 2 months. But damn, did you really have to tell her about you and Kiefer? Habang nandito ako sa bahay nila? You're unbelievable.", naiiling na sabi ni Ella at tumayo.

"Pero anyway, matalino ka Alyssa, try to figure it out your way. And please ako na ang nagsasabi sayo, wala kang makukuha sa akin.", pagpapatuloy nito bago tuluyang umalis.

2 months? That's all I got now.

I'll go all in for you, Dennise. I'd give it my all this time.

-

After ng mga napagusapan namin ni Dennise kahapon pati na rin ni Ella, lalo akong nabahala.

Ella said I only have 2 months left to figure it all out pero *sighs* saan ako magsisimula?

Simula?

Yes!

Sa pinakasimula.

I have to gather all information na kaya kong makuha from our last anniversary together, from the first year of our break up and sa mga sumunod na taon pa.

If I have to reopen all my wounds and even go deeper than before, I would do that.

I was startled when someone knocked on my door.

I walked lazily towards the door because I am tired as shit - kakatapos ko lang rin kasing mag exercise, then I opened the door.

"Ye- Oh h-i!", I said shyly and immediately fixed my shirt kasi it was slightly pulled up.

"S-sorry.", she said and looked away as I fix my shirt.

"What? No, I'm sorry I thought it was Ella and we just finished a routine kasi. Wanna come in?", I asked her and walked towards the couch and offered her a seat.

"T-thanks."

Nang makaupo siya ay kinuha ko naman yung gaming chair ko at umupo sa harapan niya.

"What's up? May sasabihin ka ba?", I asked her but she's just staring at me.

"Dennise.", pagtawag kong muli rito.

She shook her head and nag blink ng maraming beses.

"Huh? Ah wala naman. Just wanna check up on you."

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"I mean, ewan. Bakit ba? Bawal ka bang kausapin?", pagsusuplada nito.

Wow, ang bilis mag change ng ihip ng hangin.

"P-pwede naman. Teka nga, bakit ka ba nag susuplada? Did I do something wrong?"

Bago pa siya makasagot ay may kumatok na muli sa pinto.

"Come in!", sigaw ko rito.

"Oops, sorry. Nakakaistorbo ba ako?", sabi ni Ella habang nakasilip sa pinto.

"No.", sabi ko rito.

"Yes!", sigaw naman nitong isa.

"What? No Ells, come on in."

Tumango si Ella at sinara ang pinto. Umupo naman ito sa tabi ni Dennise.

"Okay? Anong ginagawa niyong dalawa rito?"

"Eh kasi I was trying to find her.", sabay turo ni Ella dun sa isa. "Hinanap ko na sa BUONG bahay, pero she was nowhere to be found. Kaya I was thinking baka nandito siya and ayan. Sitting all comfy sa couch niyo, ay niya ay ano ba iyan couch MO. Ayun. Oo."

"Eh why are you looking for her ba?", tanong ko kay Ella habang nakatingin kay Dennise. Na hanggang ngayon ay nakabusangot ang mukha.

"Kasi -",

"Kasi naman! Nakakabwisit ka kasi Jorella Marie!"

"Tsk. She wanted me to come with her sa A Mano. She's craving raw. Sabi ko I am too tired to drive, she obviously cannot drive herself yet and wala sina tito and tita."

"Okay? Why not order food online?"

"She wants to eat outside."

"Den? Do you want me to drive you sa A Mano?"

Napangiti naman si Ella, si Dennise naman biglang napatingin sa akin na parang nakinang kinang ang mga mata, tapos bigla ring nawala at sumandal muli sa couch. Nag cross arms pa ito.

"Ano? Ayaw mo?"

"Uy besh. Sige na si Ly na ang isama mo. Hindi ko talaga kaya. Mag tatantrums tantrums ka tapos dito ka sa ex mo pupunta? Galingan niyo pa.", pang aasar ni Ella rito and she gained a death stare from Dennise.

Mabilis namang tumayo si Ella at nagtago sa likod ko.

Ginawa pa akong human shield. Tsk tsk tsk.

"Aba, teka bakit ba ako natatakot sayo ha?", sabi ni Ella at umalis sa pagkakatago sa likuran ko.

"I think you should be.", bulong ko rito.

Sa akin naman tumingin ng masama si Dennise.

Napalunok na lamang ako.

"Uhm ano Ells, sige na. I'll talk to h-her. Lumabas ka na.", sabay tulak ko kay Ella palabas ng kwarto.

Ngumiti pa ito nang nakakaloko bago isinara ang pinto.

"Alyssa! Sumigaw ka lang kung kailangan mo ng tulong ha!", sabay tumawa ng malakas.

Huminga muna ako nang malalim at kabado man ay bumalik na rin ako sa kinauupuan ko kanina.

I smiled nervously in front of the woman I love the most, "So? Fusilli all'Americana con Burrata? I know you still love that, I saw it on your IG.", I told her. This was her favorite dish from that restaurant.

I saw her smile for a moment at bumalik rin agad sa pagtataray.

"Did you just admitted that you are still going through my account?"

"What? I'm not! I was just scrolling when you posted that time. Of course magpo-pop yun dun."

"Hmm. Sabi mo eh.", she said habang tuma-tango pa.

Tsk. Ang daldal naman kasi Alyssa!

"Anyway, ano nga? Labas tayo? Or let's order nalang online?", sabi ko rito.

"No I know hindi pa rin okay yang wrist mo, just order online."

Napangiti naman ako dahil sa sinabi nito, "I think I can drive but okay. I'll just order online for now.".

So nag order na nga ako. Pero itong isa parang walang balak lumabas ng kwarto ko.

Hays, hindi pa naman ako nakakapag palit from my gym workout outfit.

Tumayo yung isa at nag lakad lakad sa kwarto. Tinitignan yung mga pictures namin sa wall.

Sinundan ko lamang siya ng tingin.

"Den. Uhm, na order ko na ha. Just wait for it downstairs, maliligo lang ako."

"Thanks."

"Uhm, Dennise ... hindi ka pa ba bababa?"

"Nah, you do whatever you have to. I'll wait here."

Sheesh.

"Okay? Ikaw bahala. Alright make yourself comfortable. Shower lang ako."

-

After I took a shower, pag labas ko ay hinanap agad ng mga mata ko si Dennise.

"Hmm. Baka lumabas na.", sabi ko pa.

Habang naglalakad papunta sa kama ko ay muntik na akong madapa.

Paano nakadapa ito sa sahig habang may inaabot sa ilalim ng kama ko.

"Shit! What the?!"

"Oh s-sorry Ly. I-I was looking for my ring."

"Oh sorry sorry nahulog mo ba? I didn't see you wearing one kanina. Sure ka bang nandiyan?"

"Y-yes. Nahulog ko nga."

"Sige ako na. Come here.", sabay offer ng kamay sa kaniya to help her stand.

Umiling pa ito at hindi kinuha ang kamay ko.

"No. Ano kasi, uhm basta ako na. Sige na mag asikaso ka ng sarili mo. I'll find it."

"Ako na nga Den, baka mahilo ka pa diyan."

"Ako na Ly."

Huminga ako nang malalim at hinayaan na siya dahil di naman ako mananalo rito.

Lumipat ako sa kabilang side ng kama at pag upo ko ay may naapakan akong maliit ngunit matigas na bagay.

Pag silip ko, it was her ring.

My heart skipped a beat.

I blinked once, twice, and thrice.

It is our ring.

Ito ba yung hinahanap niya?

Yumuko ako para pulutin ang singsing at pinunasan ito.

I checked the letters engraved sa loob ng ring.

It was there, A&D. It is indeed our ring.

Napangiti ako dahil rito.

Teka, bakit nasa kaniya pa ito? At bakit hinahanap niya dito sa kwarto ko?

I'm positive that she was not wearing any rings when she entered my room.

"Den? Nahanap mo na?", tanong ko kunwari rito dahil naghahanap pa rin siya.

"Wait Ly, I can't hear you."

"Nahanap mo na ba kako?", sabi ko rito at lumapit na ako muli sa pwesto niya.

Umupo ako sa sahig while waiting for her.

"Dang it. I still couldn't find it!", rinig kong sabi niya kaya natawa ako nang bahagya.

Umayos naman ito ng pagkakaupo at humarap sa akin habang nakataas ang isang kilay.

"Excuse me? What are you laughing at?", mataray nitong tanong.

"I am not laughing. What do you mean laughing? Tsk tsk.", nakangiti kong tugon.

"You're being weird. And it's not helping.", sabi niya at nung akmang babalik sa paghahanap ay tinawag ko siyang muli.

"Den."

"Get lost Ly, you're not helping."

"Hey that's rude, this is my room and you're telling me to get lost?"

"This is my house!"

"Not yours. Your parents'. Who invited me to stay."

"Whatever, still, get lost Alyssa."

I grabbed her arm and guided her to sit sa kama ko.

"Ano ba! Hindi ka na nga nakakatulong nang iistorbo ka pa?", inis nitong sabi.

"Shhh. Calm down. I don't mean no war okay?"

Umirap lamang ito.

"Ano ba kasi yun?"

"Okay. You're looking for a ring, your ring right?"

"O tapos?"

"You may look all day long pero hindi mo makikita yun if you're not gonna look from a different perspective."

"Alam mo, I don't have time to solve your riddles or whatsoever. Alis diyan hahanapin ko na ulit."

At nung akmang bababa na naman siya sa sahig at lulusot sa ilalim ng kama nilahad ko sa harap niya ang palad ko kung nasaan ang singsing na hinahanap niya.

Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa mukha nito.

"Isn't this the one you're looking for?", I tried asking that subtly pero ang totoo sobra sobra na yung kaba ko.

"W-where did you get that?"

"I told you, hindi ka tumi-tingin sa ibang anggulo eh. It was on the complete opposite side of this bed."

"Right but n-no. I, I was not looking for that one. Yeah, uhm it was my engagement ring I was looking for."

Napakunot naman ang noo ko rito. Ever since I got here I never saw any rings on her finger, which I find weird but I let that slide. And hold on bakit naman mapupunta rito sa kwarto ko iyong 'engagement ring' niya?

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay at napagdesisyunang ibulsa nalang yung singsing na napulot ko.

What?? Sabi niya hindi naman raw ito yung hinahanap niya. Baka assuming lang ako. Baka nga pakalat kalat na lang ito rito kaya ayun, nasa sahig lang.

"Wait. What do you think you're doing?"

"What? I thought you were looking for a different ring. Then fine, mukha namang pinabayaan na lang rin ito so akin na lang kesa magpakalat kalat."

"No!", sigaw nito.

"Bakit ba? Anyway, bababa na ako dahil malapit na rin yung inorder ko. Just follow once you're done here. Good luck finding your 'engagement ring'."

Sus. Whatever.

Hays.

Ano ba naman iyan, I sounded so jealous. Baka mamaya kung anong maisip niya.

Eh nagseselos ka naman talaga.

Shut up! Oo sobra. Pero okay na. Sige na, tama na. Kung saan siya sasaya, edi dun siya.

Hay nako. Ewan!

When I was about to leave the room, I heard her stomping on her feet.

"Fine! Oo ayan yung hinahanap ko kanina pa!"

Napangiti ako at binawi ang pagkakahawak sa door knob sabay humarap rito.

I saw her looking at her feet.

Lumapit ako at tumabi sa kaniya sa pagkakaupo sa kama.

I pulled the ring out of my pocket and held it on my left hand.

"You just had to say 'yes' kanina, Dennise."

She's still not looking back at me at pirmeng nakatingin sa mga paa nya.

"Give me your hand."

Nag angat naman ito ng ulo at tumingin ng may pagtataka sa mga mata.

"Come on. Your hand.", sabi kong muli at inilahad ang kamay ko sa harap niya.

Nagtataka man ay iniabot niya rin ang kaniyang kaliwang kamay.

I held her hand, I know I seem so calm to her but I am shaking inside.

"If you don't want this lost once again, make sure you keep it very well. Kapag napulot ko na naman yan kung saan saan I won't even let you know.", I paused and admired how the ring still suits in her ring finger.

"Hmm just like how I remember it.", sabi ko rito habang may matamis na ngiti sa mga labi ko.

Tinignan ko siya at nakatitig lamang ito pabalik sa akin.

Her stare is too heavy.

And yet here I am, still too weak to free myself from those eyes.

Dennise, you're too beautiful, it hurts.

Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko.

I need air.

"Den I-"

I was cut off when she cupped my face with her left hand.

Napapikit na lamang ako dahil sa init ng mga palad nito na dumampi sa mukha ko.

Oh how I miss this. I miss this kind of warmth. The warmth that specifically comes from her.

I savored the moment until I realized kung ano yung ginawa ko.

Shit. May papikit pikit ka pa! Really Alyssa? WTH?!

Napamulat naman ako at medyo napaatras sa kinauupuan ko.

I smiled at her nervously.

"D-Den. Uhm nasa baba na yata yung inorder ko, I heard the doorbell rang. Lika, kumain na tayo.", sabi ko rito at mabilis na tumayo at binuksan ang pinto.

I waited for her by the door.

She was still sitting on my bed and nakatingin lang sa kawalan.

"Dennise?", pagkuha ko muli ng atensyon niya.

Tumayo ito at naglakad palabas ng kwarto. Ni hindi man lamang siya nagsalita o tumingin sa akin hanggang tuluyang makalabas ng pinto.

I sighed in relief nung nakalampas na siya.

I can't be that close to her again dahil baka sa susunod hindi na ako makapagpigil at mahalikan ko na lang siya.

And with that I am starting to think na baka mali talagang nandito ako.

Baka dapat umalis na ako at bigyan siya ng space na kailangan niya.

2 months. 2 months bago siya ikasal.

Ayokong makagulo.

Assumera.

Damn it. What I mean is that mukha akong nanggugulo.

Ex niya pa rin ako kahit bali baliktarin natin ang mundo.

Wala naman na siyang nararamdaman para sayo. Bakit ka makakagulo?

Damn this voices inside my head.

Napailing na lamang ako at sumunod na rin pababa ng hagdan.

"Ate, here! Naglalaro ako wanna join me?", Mosh called me. Nasa living room na pala silang apat.

Nginitian at tinanguan ko naman ito at naglakad patungo sa living room.

Wala kasi sina mommy Arlene at daddy Mike may inaasikaso yata.

"Besh kain na. Ang sarap nitong inorder mo ah. Favorite ni Den 'to diba? Galing ah, years of practice?", hirit ni Ella habang may nakakalokong ngiti sa kaniyang mukha.

Tumawa naman si Justine at nag high five pa sila.

"Besh kapag di ka tumigil babawiin ko yang kinakain mo kahit nasa loob na ng bibig mo.", mataray na sabi ni Dennise rito.

Nag zip motion naman si Ella sa bibig niya sabay kumain nalang muli at umupo sa tabi ni Justine sa couch.

Si Mosh ayun nga busy sa paglalaro sa playstation niya.

Tumabi ako kay Ella at kumuha ng makakain ko.

"Besh, ang sikip na namin dito ni Justine e. Dun ka na muna kay Den tumabi."

Siniko ko naman agad si Ella ng bahagya.

Napatingin ako kay Dennise pero tila wala itong pakialam sa commotion na nangyayari.

"Oo nga ate. Dun ka na muna kasi may ichi-chika ako kay ate Ells. Pleaaaase ate.", pag mamakaawa naman nung katabi ni Ella.

"Hay oo na oo na. Ikaw Ells baka kung ano ano na naman kinukwento mo diyan sa bata ha. At ikaw Justine, baka mamaya tungkol sa crush mo iyan and you're not telling me about it naku mayayari ka sa akin."

"Ate naman. Hindi po sige na. Go ka na dun. Promise ko sayo di ba ikaw una kong pagkukwentuhan about dun? Kaya go naaaa!"

Sabay nagtawanan na naman sila ni Ella at ayun pagkaalis ko nga ay nag bulungan na sila.

Ayoko naman tumabi dun sa isa dahil hindi pa rin nga ako nito iniimik.

Problema kaya noon?

-

Pagkatapos magsikain ay kami na muna ni Ella ang nag hugas ng mga pinagkainan at nagligpit ng mga kalat.

"Alyssa, ano? Nakapag isip isip ka na ba?", tanong ni Ella habang nag pupunas ng mga platong hinugasan ko.

"Grabe Ella ganoon ba kadali yun gawin? Syempre nag iisip pa ako papaano ko sisimulan."

Tumango tango ito.

"Alright! Tapos na ko rito besh ha. Ikaw na bahala diyan. Magpapahinga na muna ako dahil uuwi pa ako mamaya. Hinahanap na ako ng mga tao sa bahay. I'll be back probably in a week or less than a week. May training na kasi ulit di ba? And as for you, wala ka pang clearance sooo dito ka muna. Okay? And may I remind you... Clock is ticking. No time to waste. Kuha mo?"

"Tsk. Ang dami mong sinabi. Oo na. I get it. Mag iingat ka and pakikamusta muna ako sa team. I'll visit them sa isang araw."

"Susunduin pa ba kita or keri mo na mag drive?"

This made me look at my hand na until now may benda pa rin. Not that I have broken bones right there or what pero I don't want them to see yung sugat na nakuha ko from what I did with my hand.

"Yeah, you know I can drive just fine now."

"Good. Mag aasikaso na ako ha. Take a rest after mo diyan."

I nodded as a response.

After a few more minutes natapos na rin ako sa pag huhugas.

I sat on a chair sa may kitchen counter and pulled out my phone.

Shit. It totally slipped my mind. Ngayon pala pupunta sila nanay dito.

Dali dali akong umakyat papunta sa kwarto ni Ella.

"Ella! Ella!", sigaw ko habang kinakalmpag ang pinto nito.

"Ly! Ano ka ba naman sana sinabi mo nalang kung gusto mong wasakin to para makuhaan kita ng maso. Ano ba yun??"

"Eh besh, sorry na. Ano kasi. Today pala pupunta sila nanay rito. I forgot to tell everyone.", sabi ko sa kaniya while gritting my teeth.

"So? Para namang iba sila rito, Ly. You're still a family after your relationship with Dennise. Ano bang problema mo? Ahh. Okay. Gets ko na."

"Huh?"

"Si Dennise? She hasn't seen them in a long while di ba? So ano? Naiilang ka? Hindi mo alam kung pano sasabihin sa kaniya na pupunta sila nanay at tatay rito?"

"Ano bang sinasabi mo, nahihiya lang ako kina mo-", di man lang ako pinatapos.

"Tigilan mo ako. Dumadalaw dalaw ang parents mo rito Alyssa kahit wala na kayo. Ganon rin parents nung isa sa inyo. Palibhasa hindi kayo nagsisiuwi sa mga magulang niyo kaya hindi niyo alam e."

"Eh teka. Bakit ikaw alam mo?"

"Malamang tinatawagan nila ako to ask if makakapunta ba tayo, ikaw, si Dennise ganon. Ewan. Ang gulo gulo niyo kasi e. Pero anyway, ano? Anong ginagawa mo rito? Aba don't tell me ako pa magsasabi kay Dennise? Why? Kanina lang okay pa kayo ah. Anyare?"

I just shrugged at her.

"Uyyyy huma-highschool talaga tong mga best friends ko e. Iwasan yarn? Wag na kayong mag inarte parehas. May training mamaya Ly di ba sinabi ko naman sayo e. Yari ako kay coach pag namiss ko na naman yun. I really have to attend later."

"Besh please. Kahit bago ka umalis sabihin mo lang sa kaniya. Ako na ang bahala sa mga bata pati kina mommy Arlene. Please please Ells.", pagpapaawa ko pa rito.

"Hay nako! Oo na umalis ka na dyan. Mabait ka lang sa akin pag kailangan mo ko e no? Layas! Layas! Mag bibihis na ako!", sabay bagsak ng pinto.

"Grabe Ells ang bait bait ko kaya sayo. Salamat besh!", natatawa kong sigaw rito.

Buti nalang pumayag siya.

Oh yeah I will send a message kina mommy Arlene and daddy Mike.

Umupo na muna ako sa may balcony habang nagcocompose ng message kaso may bigla naman tumawag sa akin.

"Anak, bakit nariyan ka? Mainit. Pumasok ka muna sa loob.", ay sina mommy na pala yun. Nice timing.

"Mom! Dad! Let me help you with those po, teka.", dali dali akong tumayo at kinuha ang bitbit nilang mga paper bag.

"Salamat anak. Hindi na ba nananakit iyang kamay mo?", tanong ni mom.

"Hindi na po mom. Kayang kaya na to. Akin na yan mom dito sa kabila po.", at kinuha ko nga yung isa pang eco bag naman sa left hand ni mommy Arlene. She then gave me a tap on my head at naiiling na tumingin kay daddy Mike.

"Anak namiss namin yang mga paglalambing mong ganyan. Dumito ka muna nang matagal tagal ha.", kantiyaw ni daddy Mike.

"Sus, dad alam ko po miss mo lang akong kalaban sa golf kaya you wanted me to stay longer. I'll stay as long as I'm allowed to."

Tumawa naman yung mag asawa.

"Oo naman bakit hindi? Ikaw talaga. Sige na pumasok na tayo dahil parating na sina kumpadre."

I whipped my head at their direction.

"What? Alam niyo na po? I was about to tell you na ngayon sila dadalaw. I totally forgot about it this morning. Sorry guys."

"No harm done anak, saka ikaw kasi eh. Sunday is family day. Nakalimutan mo na ba?"

Ah!

"You mean every 2nd Sunday napunta pa rin sila rito even after -".

"- your break up. Yes.", that was dad finishing my sentence.

"Oh.", yun lang ang nasabi ko at inilapag na sa kusina ang mga pinamili nilang mag asawa.

"Kaya I'm so happy dahil we will get a chance to spend this Sunday with you and Dennise again. It's like a big reunion anak!", masayang sambit ni mommy Arlene.

"Likewise, mom. I'm happy rin to be spending a day like this with you all just like before."

Nakakatuwa. I never thought our families kept in touch with each other after what happened to me and Dennise.

These people. They're truly amazing.

Napangiti naman ako habang iniisip kung gaano ako kaswerte to have an 'extended family' with the Lazaros.

Tuloy tuloy na sana to kung sa akin magpapakasal anak niyo mom.

Gusto ko sanang sabihin. Napailing na lang ako at inalis na sa bags yung pinamili nila.

"Wow may handaan ata tayo tita ah? May mamamanhikan po ba?", biro ni Ella sabay bumeso kay mommy Arlene. Bitbit na nito ang isang duffle bag dahil nga uuwi na raw muna siya.

"Naku oo Ella at parating ang mga kumareng Lita maya maya. Teka nga, pauwi ka na ba bakit hindi mo muna hintayin itong iluluto ko para makapagdala ka pauwi?", natatawang tugon ni mommy sa tanong ni Ella.

Mamamanhikan eh ikakasal na nga sa iba. Talaga to oh.

"Yun nga po tita kaso may training pa kami mamaya. Kapag kaya pa po makabalik mamaya babalik ako pero kung hindi po I'll let you know. Baka next week na po kasi ako makapunta rito ulit."

"Ganoon ba? Sayang naman pero sige anak. Salamat nang marami sa pag stay mo rito ha. Kapag may libre kang oras dito ka na tumuloy after ng mga training niyo o kaya kapag day off niyo."

"Opo tita. Uuna na muna po ako ha.", pagpapaalam nito sabay yumakap at nag mano kay mommy Arlene.

"Mag iingat Ella ha. Call me once you get home. Magpaalam ka sa tito mo, naroon sa may garden at nag hahanda ng iihawan."

"Sige tita. Love you tita, I'll be here next week don't worry."

"Ang sweet naman ng Jorella Marie namin. Sige na lumakad ka na at mag iingat sa pagmamaneho."

Tumingin naman si Ella sa akin at bigla kong naalala yung pinasuyo ko rito.

"Teka teka Ells, nasabi mo ba?", hatak hatak ko ang bag nito para pigilan sa paglakad.

"Shoot oo nga pala. Hindi pa. Ikaw na muna bahala Ly. Okay naman na siguro yun. Matutuwa naman iyan pag nakita sina nanay at tatay. Wag ka masyadong kabado kasi. Sige na I'll go ahead.", nakangiting sagot nito sabay tinapik ako sa balikat.

Bahala na mamaya. Bakit ba ako nag aalala. It's been a long time na rin naman. Siguro okay lang sa kaniyang makita sina nanay at tatay.

"Okay. Bahala na besh. Sige na, mag ingat ka ha. Hatid pa ba kita sa car mo?"

"I can manage. Tulungan mo na lang si tita and kung ako sayo, sabihan mo na yung isa dun.", ngumiti muli ito nang nakakaloko at tuluyan ng lumabas ng bahay.

"Anak, why don't you check up on your parents kung na saan na sila? And pasuyo naman sabihan yung tatlo to prepare themselves ha parating na kamo sina nanay at tatay niyo."

"You got it mom. Kaya mo na ba rito?", tanong ko sa kaniya.

"Yeah I will have your ate Cecil help me out with these. Akyatin mo na yung tatlo."

Tumango ako bago hinubad ang apron na sinuot ko kanina.

-

"Really ate?! Malapit na ba sila? Oh my na-miss ko sila nanay Pabs sige ate I'll let Mosh know matutuwa yun at pupunta si Kian today."

"Yeah kaya mag asikaso na kayo ha. Mga 30 minutes siguro nandito na sila."

"Okayyy! Sige na I'll take a bath after ko sabihan si Moshy."

"Good. Thank you princess. Sige na I'll go to your ate pa."

"What? Hindi pa alam ni ate?"

"Yeah. Not yet. Why?"

"Ah hehe. Wala naman sige na you go tell her."

"You're weird.", iling kong sagot rito bago isinara ang kaniyang pinto.

Eto na nga. Papunta na tayo sa kwarto ni Dennise.

Casual lang ba dapat? Nonchalantly? Tsk. I don't know.

Nasa tapat na ako ng pinto ng kwarto niya.

Okay here goes nothing.

*Knocks*

Walang sumasagot.

*Knocks again.*

Wala pa rin.

"Den?", tawag ko rito.

Bahagya kong idinikit ang tenga ko sa pinto, attempting to listen kung may movement ba sa loob. Pero wala akong narinig.

"Dennise? Are you in there?"

Still nothing.

I held the doorknob and tried opening it.

"Dennise, I'm coming in ha."

And just when I was about to open the door, it swung open and now standing in front of me was Dennise with gulo gulong hair and eyes half opened.

Nakaidlip siguro.

"H-hey. I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?"

Nagkusot kusot pa ito ng mata at tumango tangong parang bata.

I chuckled at her gesture and tucked some of her loose hair behind her ears.

"Sorry Pakoy. I have something to tell you kasi."

"Hmm?"

Nakapikit pa rin ang isang mata nito.

"Pupunta sila nanay at tatay rito. I guess only Kian is with them. I forgot to tell you. But I hope you're okay seeing them."

Para naman itong nabigla dahil napadilat na rin ang isa pa niyang mata as she fixed her hair in a bun.

Gosh, you're still so beautiful kahit kakagising mo lang without any make up on.

She cleared her throat before answering. "Ganoon ba? Uhm, I don't have any problems seeing them but I know nagtatampo sila sa akin. I have not seen them for the last four years Ly."

I smiled at her.

"Yeah and they've been asking about you, you know? But no worries I've covered up for you since then."

"Hmm you did huh?"

"Syempre. I wouldn't let them think na hindi mo lang talaga sila napupuntahan. But you know them, they always understand."

"Thank you. For covering up for me."

I nodded at her, "And you know wala ka namang responsibility na puntahan sila dun. Or dalawin. Kaya don't worry about it. And again, they understand."

"I know they do. And alam ko rin na tama ka pero hindi ko naman tinuring na responsibility yung pagpunta punta ko noon sa inyo. I just love how they take care of me as their own. I love them Ly. You should know that too."

"Yeah I know, Dennise. I'm just worried na baka you're not ready to meet with them again."

Umiling iling pa ito. "Hindi naman, I miss them. I just don't know how I would react after a long time."

"Just be yourself. Don't get yourself too worked up. Okay?"

"Okay."

"So... Are we cool now? Hindi mo ako pinapansin kanina pa."

"What? Oh that? Sorry. Marami lang akong iniisip."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not now. But thanks, Ly."

"Okay."

We just exchanged a warm smile to each other and stood by her door.

"Mag asikaso ka na, Den. They'll be here soon."

"Oo nga pala. Sige na I'll be downstairs."

"Okay."

"Okay.", sagot rin nito sa akin. And when she was about to close her door I called out to her and stopped the door from closing.

"Uhm Den."

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Can I give you a hug?", whaaaat. Gosh. Ano ba yan Ly?

"H-huh?"

"I just feel like you needed one."

She didn't answer. So I just moved closer and pulled her in an embrace.

I hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head before separating myself from her.

I gave her my sweetest smile.

"I think I needed that more than you do."

"No, I just didn't know that I did. Thank you, Ly.", sabi nito sa akin.

"I guess we both needed that then?", biro ko rito and it made us both chuckle.

"Yeah, I think so too."

"Yeah. Okay. I'll wait for you downstairs."

She nodded and I helped her close the door.

I am still standing outside her room with a smile plastered on my face.

I missed her. Gosh.

Tsk. Hay.

-

"Nay! Tay! Kian!", sigaw kong tawag sa mga ito when I saw tatay parking his car.

"Ateeee!", sigaw pabalik ni Kian at dali daling bumaba ng sasakyan pagkaparada ng tatay.

Agad na yumakap si Kian pagkababa ng sasakyan.

"Toy! Namiss kita.", yumapos naman akong pabalik rito at ginulo gulo ang buhok niya.

"I miss you ate! Magaling ka na ba ate? Nasan pala ang ate Dennise? Nandiyan ba siya sa loob? Si Mosh? Si ate Jus?"

"Yeah yeah, nandiyan silang lahat."

"Nay, Tay!", patakbo akong pumunta sa mga ito at nag mano at yumakap rin.

"Ineng! Kamusta anak ko?", tanong ni nanay.

"Ayos lang ho nay. Kamusta po ang byahe? Pumasok na muna po kayo ng tatay."

"Ineng. Kamusta si Dennise?", that was tatay.

"Tay, ikaw talaga nauna mo pang kamustahin ang paborito mong anak. Maayos ayos naman na ho si Dennise.", natatawa kong sagot kay tatay.

"Ikaw naman anak. Araw araw naman kitang kausap eh. Ay siya, tulungan mo muna ako at napakaraming dala ng iyong nanay."

"Sige tay, I'll help you with those. Nay pasok muna po kayo ni Kian. Hinihintay kayo nila mommy."

-

"Salamat nang marami kumare at kumpadre sa mga pasalubong ninyo. Napakarami naman nito."

"Naku eh ang tagal na naman namin bago makabalik rito eh. Saka narito si Dennise e halos lahat ng paborito ng batang iyong dinala namin para makabawi bawi siya ng lakas."

"Oo e hindi na nga magkanda-ugaga iyang si Pablita kakaasikaso ng mga dadalhin para sa mga bata, lalo na para kay ineng Dennise. Teka, nasaan na pala si ineng?"

And just like on cue, there she is, walking down the stairs.

And here I am as if my body had a mind of it's own, walked towards the end of the stairs - waited for her and offered my hand for her to hold on to.

She gladly held on to it.

Absent-mindedly, my mouth started to speak up, "You look gorgeous, Dennise.".

I saw her cheeks turned red.

I can't help but stare at her. She looks so perfect.

"T-thanks.", she said while giving the me the same intensity with her look.

"Ehem! Guys, we're still here.", it was Justine as she started waving her hand to us.

"Y-yeah, we know.", Dennise said and bumitaw na siya sa pagkakahawak sa kamay ko.

"Ineng!"

"Anak!"

"Ate Den!"

Sabay sabay na pagtawag ng pamilya ko kay Dennise.

"Nay! Tay! Bunso!", she gave the same energy to them and they went in for a group hug.

Napailing naman ako habang nakangiti. Masyadong na excite ang mga ito kay Dennise.

"Anak, kamusta ka na? Sobrang tagal na nung huli ka naming nakita ng iyong tatay ah? Parang namayat ka Dennise Michelle. Ano bang nangyayari anak?", mangiyak ngiyak namang tanong ng nanay rito habang chinicheck ang buong katawan ni Dennise.

"Nay. I'm okay. Stressed lang sa mga bagay bagay but that's normal. Kayo po nay, tay? Kamusta po ang health niyo? Napapacheck up ho ba kayo ng mga kuya? Teka nasaan po pala sila?"

"May mga lakad anak, sabi nila e susunod raw sila kapag kinaya ng oras. Pero anak mabalik tayo sa iyo. Kamusta ka? Namiss ka ng tatay ah. Natatanggap mo ba iyong mga pinapadala ko sa iyo?"

Kumunot naman ang noo ko dahil wala rin akong alam tungkol rito.

"Tay? Alin po?", curious na tanong ni Dennise sa tatay.

"Yung tulips tuwing birthday mo?"

"What??? Sa inyo po galing iyong mga yun Tay?" Oh my gosh. I didn't have any idea."

"Oo anak, pati yung mga supplements every month. Sa iyong nanay naman yun galing."

"Really? Nay? I'm sorry I didn't really know. Akala ko po galing kina mom yun."

"Mahal na mahal ka talaga ng mga nanay at tatay mo.", sabi ni mom sa kaniya.

"Kaya nga kampante kami noong naging kayo ni Alyssa, Dennise. We know you'll be loved not just by Ly but also by her family.", her dad added.

Nagulat naman ako sa sinabi ni daddy Mike pero mas nagulat ako noong nagsimulang umiyak si Dennise. Agad itong niyakap ni nanay.

"Naku tahan na ineng. Masayang masaya kaming narito ka at kasama namin."

"I'm sorry nay, tay. Pasensya na po kung hindi ko kayo napuntahan sa matagal na panahon. I didn't know how to face you after our break up. I'm scared and I feel so ashamed for letting your daughter go. I promised to take care of her pero we still had to part ways. I am so sorry.", tuloy tuloy na iyak ni Dennise.

"Tahan na ineng. Naiintindihan namin. You needed space and it's okay. Hindi kami kailanman nagalit sa iyo ng iyong nanay ha? Mahal ka namin at walang pinagbago iyon. Masaya kami sa kung nasaan ka ngayon, kung ito man yung nag at mag papasaya sa iyo. Wala kaming ibang hangad kundi ang ikabubuti mo, sa piling man ni Alyssa o sa piling ng iba. Ikaw eh parati naming ituturing na anak. At lahat ng anak namin ay mahal na mahal namin.", niyakap ito ng tatay at pinatahan.

Sa piling man ni Alyssa o sa piling ng iba.

Damn that hurts.

"Matthew get ate some water, please.", utos ni mommy kay Mosh.

"Okay mom."

Lumapit na rin si mommy Arlene kay Dennise at pinainom ng tubig na kinuha ni Mosh.

"Anak, tahan na. You see your nanay and tatay are not mad at you. Okay? They love you just as much as they did before. Tahan na.", natatawang sabi ni mom sa kaniya ngunit patuloy na humahagulgol at lalo pang lumakas ang iyak nito.

"Naku si ate, tahan na ate para kang baby. Sobrang spoiled mo kasi sa mga Valdez eh.", pang aasar ni Justine sa ate niya at bahagyang nagtawanan naman ang mga magulang namin.

I was smiling at the scene pero nag aalala na rin ako dahil alam ko na hindi tatahan basta basta si Dennise. And before, when she's like that, I would hug her tight and run my hand on her back until she stops crying. That always worked. Walang palya.

And you think that magic still works on her? Ha! Stop being delusional, Ly!

Tsk. I'm not being delusional. I'm just stating a fact. Tho it was before. But maybe it would still, somehow, work on her.

I walked towards the group and gave them a nervous smile.

These people seem to understand what I was about to do and just like that, they let me through.

Tinanguan ako ng nanay as she let me hold Dennise in my arms.

They all watch in awe as Dennise wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest.

I welcomed her weight and hugged her back.

"Hey. It's okay. I'm here. You're fine."

She was still crying.

I started running my hand up and down on her back and started humming to her in the tune of 'You are my sunshine'.

I'm no singer but I sure can hum to the song. Duh.

After a few minutes, I felt that her shoulders stopped shaking and she's relaxed in my embrace.

I combed her hair using my fingers.

"Ly.", she called to me.

"Hmm?"

"You're out of tune.", she said and started laughing lightly.

"You're so mean. You know I love singing but music can't love me back."

"Right.", she said and yumakap muli sa akin.

"Are you okay now?"

"I am okay for a while now, especially when you started humming... out of tune.", she giggled and pulled slightly from the hug just enough for us to look at each other.

"I don't mind being called out of tune if it makes you giggle like that. I'd keep being out of tune.", I smiled at her and wiped her eyes dry of tears.

"Yeah and I love it whenever you make me giggle like this. It makes my heart melt. Thank you, Ly.", she then held my face and kissed me on my cheek.

I was stunned.

Too stunned that I didn't even realize she's already at the kitchen with mom, Justine and ate Cecil, their long time house keeper/helper.

"She still got it, yeah?", I shook my head to get myself back in reality as I heard someone talking to me.

"What? Sorry were you saying something dad?"

"She still got it I said."

"The what?"

"She still has that effect on you.", sabi nitong muli at ngumiti nang nakakaloko sabay lumakad palabas ng pinto.

"Get out of your bubble and bring us those meat outside anak!", dad said while laughing.

Tsk. Si dad talaga.

Pumunta ako sa kusina para kunin yung mga iihawin sa labas.

Sobrang busy naman ng mga tao rito at hindi na napansin ang presensya ko.

"Nay, mom, nasan na po yung iihawin sa labas?"

"Ay sorry anak. Are oh. Medyo marami ito kaya mo ga are?", nanay asked.

"Yeah, kaya naman po akin na nay."

"Uhm nay it's okay. I'll help her.", pagvovolunteer naman nung isa.

Nagkatinginan naman si nanay at mommy Arlene at ngumiti sa isa't isa.

"Kaya mo ba Den? Ako na. Baka mapaano pa yang kamay mo."

"Dalawa naman kamay ko, Ly. I can manage.", she then winked at me at kinuha yung isang tray ng karne na pang ihaw.

"Uyyy si ate Ly kinilig! Hahahahaha!", pang aasar ni Justine.

"Psh. What are you saying? Tumulong ka diyan. You're assigned with the dishes later, you got it?"

"Blah blah blah. Whatever."

"Young lady I asked if you got it?", seryosong tanong ko rito.

"Opo boss."

"Good, scaredy cat.", it was my turn na asarin ito bago tuluyang sumunod kay Dennise.

Narinig ko namang nagtawanan sila sa kusina.

I was also laughing while walking towards the door and noong palabas na ako napahinto ako sa paglalakad dahil biglang humarang si Dennise sa daan.

"Shoot! Dennise, what are you still doing there?"

"What took you so long? Kanina pa ako rito.", she asked while pouting her lips and batting her eyelashes.

I pinched her nose. Can't help it. Too adorable for me to bear.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for waiting. Let's go, they're already throwing those looks on our direction and I'm not liking it."

"Why? You loved it the most kapag inaasar nila tayo."

"Well. That's true, but now, of course. I don't want to be insensitive of your fiancé even if wala siya rito. And kahit hindi niya alam na naging tayo."

Napahinto siya sa paglalakad.

I also stopped to take a look at her.

"Come on Den. Just a few more steps.", biro ko rito.

"H-how did you know Ly? Na hindi niya alam?"

"Because I didn't see any questions on his face or on his eyes when he saw me. It's as if he knew all along that I am just your 'best friend', like Ella."

"I'm sorry, Ly."

"For what? For not telling him? It does not matter, Den. I'm merely part of your past."

"You were part of it. You'll always be part of it."

"Yeah? I mean if you say so."

"Really. You still are part of it. Come on, now."

And she left me standing there.

I'm not mad about her not letting her fiancé know about us. It's not her duty. But I wonder why she didn't mentioned that to him?

Maybe she's ashamed of you.

Ouch. Really? Can that be the reason?

Oh precious, do you really think she'd let the world know about you? And your petty childhood love story?

Stop it. You're being too much.

But isn't it true? You even had to keep your relationship a secret because you didn't want your names and fame to be affected. Only your family and best friends knew.

That's for us to be safe and away from criticism.

Does is not equal to being ashamed of what you have?

Darn it. Snap out of it. We're done anyway, why does it have to matter?

"Ineng! Ano ba't nakatulala ka pa riyan? Pumarine ka na at nang maisalang na iyang dala dala mo."

"O-opo tay. I'm coming."

-

"Here dad.", pag ka abot ko ng tray na dala ko.

"Thanks anak. Bakit ba parang ang lalim ng iniisip mo dun?"

"P-po? Ah ano po kasi may nakalimutan akong ibinilin ni mom. I was trying to recall what was that. Speaking of, let me get back to them. Tay saglit ho ah alam ko kasi may inutos pa ang mga nanay sa akin."

"Ay siya sige. Lumakad ka na roon at nang makabalik ka agad. Samahan mo kami rito ng daddy niyo. Dennise ineng, mausok rito. Doon ka na muna sa loob."

"Ayos lang naman po ako dito tay. Pero kung may gagawin pa si Alyssa I will just help her po."

"Mabuti pa nga ana-",

"No, ako na po. Mabigat kasi yun, Dennise. Kaya ko na yun. Mga pasalubong lang nila nanay yun."

"Ha? Edi mas kailangan mo ng tulong anak. Ako na lang teka sandali.", sabi ng tatay while he's about to remove his gloves.

"Tay, no. Ako na po. Kaya ko na. Dennise kung nauusukan ka diyan, pumasok ka na lang rin."

"Sige na I'll get going baka magalit na ang mga tao dun sa kusina."

"Ly!", I heard Dennise calling me but hindi ko na siya pinansin.

Mabilis akong bumalik papasok ng bahay at tuloy tuloy patungong banyo na sa may bandang kusina lang rin.

I leaned against the door as I closed it after me.

"What the hell. Why did you even have to say she might have been ashamed of us, of me? Ngayon nadagdagan pa yung mga tanong sa isip ko. Damn this stupid brain.", I rubbed my face with both hands in frustration.

I can't keep dwelling on that. I need to pretend those things don't have an effect on me anymore.

Meron pa akong dapat malaman na mas mahalaga. And I am wasting my time dahil sa maliliit na bagay na araw araw dumaragdag sa isip ko.

Shit.

-

"You may drink some if you feel like it.", yaya ni dad sa akin dahil nag labas siya ng mga alak na pinagsasaluhan nila ngayon ng tatay.

"Yeah, I'll get one dad. Thanks."

"Oh eto oh. Umupo ka na muna."

"Thanks, tay."

"Kamusta? Nasaan si Dennise?", tatay asked.

"Po? Nasa loob kausap sina nanay at mommy."

"Eh ikaw, kamusta ka naman rito ineng?"

"Ayos naman ho tay. Alam mo naman iyan sila daddy Mike masyado akong ini-spoiled kapag nandito ako sa kanila."

"Aba siyempre naman anak. Sobrang bihira ka nalang makapunta rito sa amin ng mommy mo kaya sinusulit namin.", proud na sabi ni daddy Mike.

"I will be making it up to you guys dad don't worry."

"I know you will."

We were just enjoying our cold drinks when tatay asked something that drags me back to reality.

"Nga pala kumpadre, si ineng Dennise. Tuloy na tuloy na talaga ang kasal niya ano? Hindi pa namin nakikilala ng kaniyang nanay yung lalaki eh. Nagtatampo nga iyang si mare mo at hindi raw siya naimbitahan ni ineng."

Pasimple akong tumingin kay daddy Mike and saw his body tensed up at the question. He chugged the whole glass of wine he was enjoying moments ago.

"Naku pagpasensyahan niyo na yang si Dennise kumpadre dahil medyo nakikisama doon sa mga magiging in laws niya. Hindi na rin nakapagimbita masyado ng mga kaibigan at ibang kapamilya dahil parang ang gusto ng kabila ay halos angkan nila ang naroroon."

"Ganoon ba? Ay siya eh wala naman tayong magagawa kung ganoon ang gusto ng pamilya ng pakakasalan niya eh. Kailangan natin respetuhin yun para rin sa ikabubuti ng samahan ni ineng at ng mapapangasawa niya."

"Oo kumpadre ganoon na nga lang rin ang iniisip namin ng mommy niya. Pero kung sa akin lang, dapat lahat ng gusto niya e magagawa niya rin sa kasal niya dahil yun na yung isa sa pinaka espesyal na araw lalo na para sa babae."

I find it strange dahil knowing daddy Mike and lalo na si mommy Arlene, they wouldn't allow other people na parang i control or i limit yung pwedeng gawin ng anak nila. And knowing Dennise, gosh, she's just excited about these things. She'd plan for everything and she'd invite all of our closest friends from elementary to college days. I know her all too well.

I remember whenever I asked her about her plans for us in the future, she'd be so giddy about it.

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh baby. Wait. Well I don't wanna spoil your surprise if one of these days magpo-propose ka na sa akin but okay. So on my planner and on my phone I've made list of our guests already.", Dennise started when I asked her of her plans in the near future. For the two of us.

"Huh? Guests for?"

"Duh! Our wedding, babe! Ano ka ba naman!", sabay inirapan ako nito.

"Wow, you're too excited to be Mrs. Valdez babe but I love that so okay please continue.", I gave her a huge smile and she gave me a quick peck on my lips.

"Mrs. Dennise Michelle Lazaro-Valdez? Me? Your wife? My goodness babe your name perfectly fits in mine. I so love you, Alyssa."

"And I love you too, future Mrs. Valdez. Come on let's take a look at your guests' list baby."

"Yay! Alright. So starting here, to here and all the way here. Kasama na riyan yung mga principal sponsors syempre, our families, friends and classmates noon. Syempre mga abay natin nandyan na rin. Lahat lahat babe. Let me know what you think."

Halos malula ako dahil sobrang haba ng list na ginawa nito. It's funny that I didn't think she's already created this list.

"Baby, I think I need to start hustling harder.", sabi ko rito while still looking at the list she provided.

"What? Why?"

"Babe sobrang dami nito! Syempre I would love to give you everything you want and for me to do that, I need to hustle more.", I smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

"You'd do that for me?", she said habang namumula ang mga pisngi nito.

"Why? Kinikilig ka na naman no? Of course, love. I'll give you everything you want to have in life. And if right now you're already thinking about us in the future, I could never ask for more. I love you Dennise."

"Stop staring babe! You're so pogi. My goodness, buti na lang talaga I saw your love letter for me baka dahil kung hindi you wouldn't have courage to let me know how you truly feel. I love you so much Ly, please don't leave me."

"Leave you?! Heck no! I would be the dumbest ass if I'd let you go. Instead, babe please don't leave me. I know I do crazy stuff and all that, pero I am giving my bestest para maging better everyday. For you and for myself."

"That's good baby. And for the record, I won't leave you no matter what. I just so love you that I feel like I'd die if we ever get separated. So don't you dare leave me! You got it?"

"Yes ma'am.", and we shared a passionate kiss.

She said she'd die if we get separated but it looks like I'm the one who died the day she left.

I smiled bitterly as I emptied my glass.

I took a deep breath as I poured myself more liquor.

"Take it easy kid. You don't have high tolerance for alcohol.", dad said.

"Oo nga anak, hinay lang ha. Pero wag kang mag alala nasa bahay ka lang naman so we'll take care of you if you get knocked out."

"Come on guys, I'm not a kid anymore. I can hold my alcohol just fine."

But the truth is, I can barely hold it dahil napaparami na pala ako ng nainom.

Hindi ko namalayan na naubos ko na pala pati mga in can na beer na nasa cooler.

Nahihilo na ako pero hindi ko pinahalata kina tatay at daddy Mike.

"Guys, I'll just check up on the ladies and kids inside."

"Mabuti pa nga ineng, mukhang tinamaan ka na e.", tatay said.

"Come on, tay. Mahina pa yan.", pagyayabang ko rito.

"Whoa. When did you start pouring alcohol in your system huh?", natatawang tanong ni daddy Mike.

"When she left, dad. That's when it started. I'll go inside, wag niyo na pong pakaubusin yan ha."

"Alyssa.", tawag ni tatay sa akin.

Hindi ko na sila ulit nilingon pa dahil ayoko nang pag usapan.

Bakit? Totoo naman ah. When she left, who knows how many liters of alcohol I had to consume almost everyday just to get through the day.

I even went to trainings intoxicated but had to act as if not para lang mairaos yung araw na walang issue.

Shit. Nahihilo na talaga ko.

"Hi ate! We just finished playing basketball since you're too busy bonding with the old men instead of us, you owe us time tomorrow ha!", said Mosh.

"Oo nga ate! Akala ko pa naman makakapag laban tayong tatlo nila Mosh. Bukas na lang ate ha?", pahabol naman ni Kian.

"Alright alright. I promise. Tomorrow."

"My goodness anak! Are you drunk? Pambihira talaga yang mga yan hinayaan ka magpakalasing. Umakyat ka na muna ha magpahinga ka dun.", pag aalalang sabi ni mommy Arlene habang inaayos ang buhok ko.

I saw Dennise looking at me from the kitchen counter.

Iniwasan ko lang ito ng tingin.

"Mom, I'm not d-drunk. Okay? Kulang pa nga iyon eh. It's not, uhm it's not bitter enough to c-cover what I am feeling inside.", utal utal kong sagot rito.

Malungkot na ngiti ang isinukli sa akin ng mommy ni Dennise.

Tinanguan ko lamang ito as if we understood each other and nagpaalam na rin muna ako kay nanay na aakyat sa kwarto ko.

"Ate I'll help you get into your room!", tawag ni Justine.

I just waved my hand at her and started walking my way upstairs.

I suddenly felt an arm being wrapped around my waist. I looked at the person beside me.

"W-what do you think you're doing? I can do this by myself, D-Dennise."

"Says the person who almost slipped. Keep your head up para hindi ka mahilo."

"Stop."

"What now? Come on, Ly baka matumba tayo parehas."

I just sighed and let her help me, kahit ayoko.

Dahan dahan niya akong iniupo sa kama.

"There you go. When did you start taking that much alcohol anyway? You're not a heavy drinker."

I gave her a sarcastic laugh.

"Really? You're asking when? You should know better."

I saw her creasing her forehead.

"Wow! Alright, well let me remind you then if nakalimutan mo na. Kailan nga ba yun? Ah! That's when you left me all of a sudden. That's when it started, Dennise."

"Ly. I thought we've talked about this already? And I will not have this conversation when you're too intoxicated. Take a rest."

"And you'll just walk out on me again. Of course what am I expecting?", I scoffed at her. "I'm so tired of this - of not knowing. I just wish I know what the reason was para kahit somehow alam ko kung paano aalis sa lugar kung saan mo ako iniwan mag isa."

Nararamdaman ko na na bumibigat ang mga talukap ng mata ko at parang napupuno na ng hangin ang ulo ko sa pagkahilo.

Ganoon pa man ay nararamdaman ko rin ang mga luha na nag uumpisa nang tumulo sa mga mata ko.

"I hate to admit it to myself, but no matter how broken I was when you left, I s-still want you back.", mahinang sambit ko bago ako tuluyang nilamon ng litro ng alkohol na dumadaloy sa katawan ko.

-

"And I want you to take me back, Alyssa.", a faint voice said and I felt my face being cupped with two hands while my lips are being brushed with a familiar soft and small lips.

My mouth tastes bitter for sure but the lips that are now hungrily claiming mine is too sweet and it makes me forget the taste of that beer I had earlier.

After a minute or two I can no longer feel that lips on mine. And I have no more strength left in my body.

Before I fully surrender to my sleep I heard that faint voice again.

"I love you so much, Ly. Gosh I never stopped. But in time, I hope you can forgive me for leaving you behind. Damn it hurts like hell, but I really had to mahal. I'm so sorry, baby. It hurts too much but I'd rather see you like this than not to see you at all. Mahal na mahal na mahal kita, please don't you ever forget that. I wish I could say these things when you're sober and when you can look into my eyes. I love you so much, Alyssa.", the voice said ending it with a soft peck on my lips.

I don't even know if that was just a dream or if it was for real but I woke up in full sob with a throbbing pain in my head.

I brought my knees to my chest, hugged them and burried my face in between.

That felt too real to be just a dream. And if it was not real, then it's not a dream either. It was a complete nightmare.

I just cried myself until I heard a soft knock on the door.

I remained quiet hoping the person would just walk away.

But then there's that knock again.

"Ineng?", it was nanay.

"Papasok na ako anak ha?"

Mabilis akong nagpunas ng luha, bumalik sa pagkakahiga at nagtalukbong ng kumot.

"Ineng? Tulog ka pa ba? Kakain na tayo ng hapunan anak.", sabi ng nanay sabay umupo sa tabi ko at hinaplos haplos ang likod ko.

Hindi ako sumagot at nagpretend pa ring natutulog.

"Anak, I know you're listening, so just listen okay? I saw Dennise, doon sa garden ninyong dalawa, I mean yeah that's basically yours and hers. So she was just sitting there silently. She's physically there but her mind is somewhere else so I decided to check up on her. When I asked her what's going on, she just lost it. Umiyak lang siya nang umiyak sa akin. We didn't talked about anything else. I didn't dare to ask either. I just knew something's not right and going here into your room with you being all curled up diyan sa kama mo, maybe my hunch is right. It's about you."

This made me sit up.

"Oh no, anak ko.", nanay said and hugged me tight as soon as she saw my red puffed eyes.

After I relaxed in nanay's arms I pulled from the hug to look at nanay.

"Nay, so that wasn't just a dream at all? She was really here earlier? I thought I was just dreaming. She's told me how much she still loves me and, and that she didn't wanted to leave me but she had to. Nay I knew it, I know she would not just leave me like that, my Dennise would never leave me. There's something wrong. She's too afraid to let me know but I will find out what's holding her back. Nay please help me. I know tatay has connections with private investigators, I would also need help from lolo's law firm nay. I'd get my hands on all the resources I'd need to get to the bottom of this. Something is wrong. I love her so much to turn a blind eye on this. Help me nay, please."

I need to do something as soon as possible before it's all too late.

"Anak, you're making me confused. Why does it have to involve legal and investigators? What's happening?"

"I am not too sure just yet nay, but knowing Dennise and her family hindi sila basta basta makokontrol ng kung sino sino lang pero based sa conversation nila tatay and daddy Mike kanina it seems like the Revillas has taken over Dennise. I mean with the decision makings and all that, they just let the other party decide for Dennise. Nay, you know how her personality is di po ba? She won't let anyone stop her from getting what she wants no matter who you are or no matter how big the hindrance is, ganoon rin ang family niya as long as wala silang maaapakang tao they would back her up. But this? Wedding preparations? Might be a small thing to others but I know her nay. She would even have all the preparations done by herself, ganoon niya kagustong maging hands on when it comes to it. Do you think she would just say yes to the Revillas not to have all the guests she wants for her most special day? I bet not. She even had a five-pages-long list of guests before for, uhm for 'our' wedding."

"Hmm that sounds like her."

"Yeah I know, that's what I am trying to say."

"But anak..."

She paused and took my hand with hers.

"I don't want you to get hurt again. What if tamang hinala lang lahat iyan? What if mahal niya talaga si LA and she's fully submitted her life to him? Kaya nagagawa na niyang tanggapin kung ano mang sabihin ng pamilya nito sa kaniya? The Dennise you have in your heart and mind might not be the Dennise that we are seeing now. Maybe she's still got something to tell you pero baka mga remnants nalang yun ng nakaraan ninyong dalawa. Ayokong makasira ka ng relasyon ng iba and ayoko ring masaktan ka pa."

Napahinto rin ako sa mga sinabi ni nanay. But, will it be worth it?

She is worth it.

"It's okay nay. I won't try to get back with her naman, I mean not until you know, if something would come up with the investigation. I just need to take this one last risk nay. After this, if wala na talaga and if tama ka nga, I will let her go. Or whatever that means."

After I told Dennise about Kiefer and I, I also clarified the issue with nanay and tatay although it was just over the phone they understood. As always.

I also pulled out from my contract, which Kiefer accepted with an open heart. We're just about to release the statement about our 'break up'. Our managers are trying to find the perfect timing for it. So it's all good, and it's all over. Kaya nasasabi ko na lahat ng about kay Dennise kay nanay.

"Okay anak, if you feel like you really have to do that. You will have tatay and my support. You know that, right? Pero our deal stands, okay? If it goes south, we'll be there for you. We love you anak. Give this one last shot, okay? Just one last shot."

One last chance, one last risk to take.

If something would really come out of this...

I'll get you home, Dennise.

---Author's Note:

Hello guys! Pasensya na sobra sobrang busy lang 😫 Pero ito na nga susulat na po ng isa or dalawa pa. Pasensya na ulit!

Anyway, maiba lang kaunti. Talo ulit CCS 🥺 Pero may laban pa naman sa Friday so let's go creamline! Let's go!

💗🫂

See you next chapter, 🍋s!

#Alyden#AD#NSWS